AN: Uhhhh... Sorry... ;D

UGH this was a chapter and a half to write and I was loving it the whole time xD

Hope you enjoy!

Noise was the first thing that returned to Riza. Machinery whirring and low voices spurred her into consciousness. The first thing she noticed was the dull ache in her arms. Her finger tips tingled with pins and needles, but just faintly. Her chest still held that ache from being shot. Breathing came easier to her to but not without a twinge of pain. Opening her eyes, the soft glow from the room was a blessing. Her eyes stung and she was sure her eyes wouldn't have been able to deal with bright lights.

Trying to sit up was a feat. Her chest was stiff and the skin was tight as it had healed over the wounds. Resting on one elbow was out of the question. Her shoulders were still agony. The room was unfamiliar, but Riza knew there was no threat here. Her wolf was relaxed. When she had been held captive it had been angry at first, desperate to be free. However, after her first dosage from the vampire it went quiet. Riza had guessed it had been something to supress her abilities. She had tried to change, but the wolf had never come. It scared her. Really scared her.

Despite the way these powers had come to her, the thought of them disappearing or being taken away frightened her. It was a part of her now. She couldn't imagine life without her wolf.

"Hey."

Looking up, Riza met Roy's gaze. She gasped quietly, suddenly overwhelmed by everything that had happened to her. Tears begun to fall. Simply seeing him again brought forth all the emotions she had suppressed at the hands of the vampire and Hunters. It was the only way she could get through without cracking.

Roy bundled her in his arms while she cried. Riza clung to him tightly, afraid that if she did let go, she would be back in that cave, alone.

"I'm so sorry," she cried quietly. That phrase became a mantra as she repeated it over and over.

Eventually, Roy replied. "It is all right. You're safe now."

In a way, his words made it worse. It wasn't okay. Riza had put him through all this trouble and heartache for what? For her to be tortured as the Hunters gained more information about her species? She couldn't keep doing this, not to him. Roy was too good. First, it had been her reckless actions during that clearing with the Hunters. Now this. She wouldn't blame him if he didn't stick around anymore.

That scared her most of all. Yet, it would be deserved.

"It is not all right Roy. You know it isn't."

He didn't reply. The silence had a finality about it which was terrifying. Riza clung onto him harder.

As Roy held her, he was simply relieved she was alive. The sight of her lying in that bed, bruised and hurting. It killed him.

But it still stung that Riza hadn't told her what she had planned. It hurt she had put herself in danger just to protect him. They had a plan. They were going to be safe. And Riza dismissed all of that.

After she called him out, he couldn't deny that everything wasn't all right. He couldn't be kept in the dark by Riza anymore. Not about something like that. It was too much.

Rebecca burst in the door, tears streaming down her face. She looked between the pair, frozen in the doorway. Roy nodded and pulled away from the woman in the bed. He didn't want to, but he would let the pair have some privacy.

Like Riza had said, things between them weren't okay. He needed time to collect his thoughts.

A hand clamped on his own, stopping his retreat. Riza's eyes were wide, slightly panicked, and begging for him to stay.

"I will be back soon," he smiled, but it was as fake as they come. He gave her hand a squeeze and left the room.

Riza watched him retreat, slightly dumbfounded. Terror set in her heart at the thought of him leaving her. They definitely had some things to figure out, but she didn't expect him to be so dismissive of her. Especially after what they had both juts gone through.

"Oh, Riza," Rebecca cried, hugging her friend. Riza clung to her, her own tears falling. In that moment, everything she had been holding back rushed out. The physical torture, the terror throughout her ordeal and in that moment… It all came out.

Rebecca held her throughout, reassuring the blonde and trying to ease her pain. In the back of her mind she was irritated that Roy had left like that. The brunette didn't doubt the pair had some things to work out. Hell, even Rebecca was pissed at Riza for essentially killing their plan. That matter was for another time. But she was alive. She had returned to them after being clearly tortured. Rebecca wasn't sure for what, but she swore she would find those responsible. She needed their support, not their criticism.

"I'm so sorry Rebecca," Riza told her. "I didn't mean for all of this to happen."

"Hey," Rebecca shushed her, grasping her and tightly. "It is all right. I knew you didn't do this on purpose. I would just have liked a little warning next time." Rebecca fell silent and her sad tone caused the guilt to eat at Riza even more. It had meant to sound like a light hearted joke, but Rebecca couldn't bring herself to make it so.

"I had to make it believable," she whispered, steeling herself for Rebecca's reaction. The brunette's lips pressed into a thin line and she frowned.

"Make what believable?"

Riza took a deep breath as she prepared to tell her tale. "When we were out on our patrol, I followed the scent of the wolfs bane. It led me to their scouts." Rebecca opened her mouth to interrupt her, but Riza quickly explained her reasoning. "I know we agreed not to, but I needed to know. I needed to know if the threat was coming to attack my pack." Riza paused, clasping her hands together in her lap. She looked down at them, avoiding Rebecca's disapproving gaze. "They were about ten miles out, all on foot. The scouts were discussing their next move. They were heading our way and would arrive in a couple of days, or so they said. However, things must have accelerated their pace because it was later that night they arrived." Her tone was bitter at the memory.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I thought I had time!" she stated, frustrated. "I really did. This wasn't out of spite or some kind of twisted need for drama. Believe me, I have had enough of that for ten lifetimes. The reason I went to Jean was because I knew he could do what could be done." Rebecca's expression turned slightly pained at the mention of him. Riza noticed and made a note to ask her about it later. "It wasn't a jab at you or Roy. It wasn't because I didn't trust you. You should know damn well that wasn't the case. We've been through too much for me not to trust you with my life. You are both too emotionally attached to leave me behind. I knew if I asked Jean then he would definitely get you out of there."

Shame filled Rebecca at Riza's words. She was right. There should have been no question of her loyalty to their pack. However, in her grief, she had overlooked that fact. It appeared she had overlooked a lot. Riza was correct in assuming the pack would be too emotional. Anyone would have been if you watched your friend get shot like that. Jean was unattached to her. They had only spoken a handful of times. If someone could leave her behind and get her friends to safety, it would be him.

The shame mixed with guilt as she thought about the cold shoulder she had been giving Jean. He was only doing as Riza asked. What seemed like betrayal to her was in fact saving her life. Riza had caused a distraction to allow them to leave unscathed.

"I anticipated gunshots, I spied the weapons on them when I first discovered the scouts. There was no wolfs bane on them which told me they were trying to keep their identity hidden. However, the old trail led me straight to them.

"That was when I cooked up a plan to get captured and find out more information about these guys. Why were they after us specifically, aside from obvious reasons? The involvement of Kimblee, someone who's only motivation was money and the reason for them pulling out of the area all of a sudden was all connected. I was sure of it."

"You were going to let yourself get captured." Rebecca phrased her words as a statement, rather than a question, as she reached that conclusion, but Riza answered her anyway.

"Yes. It was risky as hell and completely stupid, but. At the time, I felt like I had to do it."

Rebecca huffed in disagreement. "See, that's just it Riza. You didn't have to do anything. You could have told us. You could have clued us in instead of leaving us to believe you were dead. It almost killed Roy, do you know that?" A pained expression flitted across her face. "It looked as if he had lost the will to live. Do you know how frightening that is to watch?" Forgetting the fact Riza was explaining her side of the story, Rebecca continued with her tirade. She had been through too much in the past week to not get angry and irritated. She had been hurt too and Riza needed to know the consequences of her actions.

"Yes, I do." Rebecca faltered, remembering Riza's father. "And believe me when I say that it wasn't intentional. But there is something bigger going on here. Bigger than all of us. I am sure of it. I couldn't let it go unchecked if I wanted to keep us all alive.

"They have a vampire working with them." Rebecca frowned in confusion. "I know, I am still just as confused why. Apparently the work is "fun" and the money is "good"." The disgust was clear in Riza's voice and on her face. Rebecca felt sympathy towards Riza. Being in the hands of a vampire who could very easily hurt their own kind and others was a terrifying thought.

"She injected me with varying strengths of wolfs bane poison." Rebecca gasped quietly, horrified. "Some dulled my senses, either by a margin or completely. Others left me suffocating. They have the ability to paralyze us. That was tested on me too –" Riza was cut short as the door banged open. In the frame, stood Roy.

"Is this true?" His tone was dark, something that matched the expression on his face. It was like thunder. His chest heaved in anger. Riza could see it washing over him. With a start, she realised something. He is struggling to keep control again. Oh god. She was suddenly transported back into their small cabin in what felt like an age ago. He can't lose control. Not like this.

"Roy, listen –"

"Is. It. True?" His words held such a bite to them that Riza almost flinched at the ferocity. She couldn't lie to him, but she couldn't let him go on the rampage. The truth would push him over the edge.

Without waiting for an answer, he spun on his heel and stormed out the room.

Shit.

"Shit." Rebecca echoed Riza's thoughts. "Roy!" she called, sprinting after him. Riza threw the thin sheet off her body and followed in pursuit. She was sluggish in her movement. Once she reached the door, she leaned on it heavily for a moment. Pushing off, she followed after him.

"Roy!" Rebecca called, grabbing his left arm and trying to spin the raging werewolf around. "Stop!" He forcefully shrugged her off, throwing her to the side. Riza watched as Rebecca landed a few feet away from him. The brunette wasn't getting through to him.

Another audience watched on from behind Riza. She spied Jean out of the corner of her eye in the main reception of this small hospital and he tried to stop her. She ignored him, exiting into bright sunshine and cool air.

"Roy?" Riza called softly to him. She raised one hand up in front of her, an attempt at surrender. The other was held out behind her back, telling the others to stop. Glancing to Rebecca to confirm if she was all right. She nodded yes, but she looked pissed as hell. "I don't blame you for wanting to go after them."

Roy stopped walking.

"I wouldn't blame you for hating me either. I did something horrible to you which is something I will feel eternally guilty for."

He still hadn't turned around, but at least she had his attention. That was something.

"But, please," Riza begged, creeping closer to him. She placed an open palmed hand on his back slowly. "Don't get yourself killed over me. I know I don't deserve to ask this of you. I don't deserve to ask something of you ever again. Please." Her voice was thick as she fought back the tears. "I'm not worth it."

Silence roared through the forest as their audience waited for his answer. They were on standby, ready to interfere and stop Roy if need be. But Riza only had eyes for him. She hung her head in the silence, praying he would listen to her. He couldn't die. And, she was a hypocrite for thinking it, but he couldn't get himself killed for her. That's why she had sought out help from Jean. Because she knew Roy would do the exact same thing for her. He would put himself in harm's way to protect her. It would crush Riza there and then if he continued walking away.

If she could protect Roy by taking a blow she would. She always knew she would. It was a double edged sword because he would do the same thing. If they weren't careful, they would get each other killed.

Riza barely registered the change in his stance as she was so lost in her own grief. His body sagged under her hand, all thoughts of running off for revenge evaporating. She had meant what she had said to him. She didn't deserve to ask him for anything. Not after what she had done. And she wasn't worth it. Not anymore. Riza knew she had caused him more pain than happiness. That had never been her intention. It killed her to realise this and tears streamed down her face. If he wanted to walk away she would let him. He deserved someone who made him happy, not someone who put him through the ringer and brought pain into his life.

Perhaps they weren't meant to be together.

Suddenly she was wrapped up in a pair of arms. Recognising his scent, Riza clung to him as she sobbed quietly. But, if this was to be their goodbye, she didn't want him to feel guilty about it. She tried to stop, but the tears kept falling.

She forced herself to let go.

It was hard, but she squelched the overwhelming urge to remain there. Roy didn't need her. He didn't deserve the trouble. The man had been nothing but loving towards her and look where it got him. Riza knew he had finally realised it in that hospital room. That's why he left so suddenly.

Riza didn't blame him.

"It's fine," she whispered, her voice cracking. "I don't blame you. Just… Go. Before I get you into another mess." Her last sentence was barely above a whisper. She was so extremely tired. There was the sound of movement around her, but Riza heard none of it. Her world had come crashing down once and for all and it was all because of her doing. She tried to walk away, but her legs wouldn't cooperate. So, instead, she turned away from him. After walking a couple of feet, she felt the fight leaving her. Lowering herself to the ground, she crossed her legs and rested her elbows on them. With her head in her hands, Riza Hawkeye closed her eyes. The tears continued, but there was no sound. She was a mess. In a more sound mental and emotional state, she would have been embarrassed. But now, she was numb.

Time had either slowed or stretched on, Riza wasn't sure. But arms wrapped around her back and under her knees. She felt half asleep as she was carried. With no strength left to open her eyes, she simply remained drifting. Faintly, the sound of activity reached her, doors opening, people talking, and such. But all Riza could feel were the hands holding her up, guiding her on to something soft.

So lost in her mind, she simply remained still as the movement and noise continued around her.

Riza was beyond caring about anything. Everything was gone from her life now.

Her Father had abandoned her. Both Roy and Rebecca hated her for what she did to them. Maes no doubt felt the same way. He had to watch his old friend go through the hell she created. Another person she wouldn't blame for hating her.

An amusing thought popped into her tired mind.

Perhaps she was cursed.

Riza Hawkeye was cursed with the ability to drive away anyone who had ever cared for her. She had clearly done something in her life which led to her not deserving it. Or perhaps she was a joke for the universe.

Well, you are up shit creek now.

One tear escaped her as she drifted off into unconsciousness.