Nancy sat staring at the blank sheet of paper in front of her, tapping her pen lightly on the table. She had been recording the events of the past few days. Their trip to the library and kiss in the parlor. But when she went for another piece of parchment, she realized it was her very last piece. She could ask for more, but she knew it would cost her. Knowing Loki and his tricks, he would require a costly favor. Oh, why wouldn't he just give her what she wanted when she wanted it? Was it really too much trouble to supply her with more paper?
She pushed back, away from the table, and paced over to the bookshelf. The strap of her satchel hung loosely over the edge, taunting her. The shelf rose high above her head, yet her satchel was just out of her reach.
Who did Loki think he was, anyway? Keeping her things from her as if she was a child. Really, he treated her like she was five. As if she really was a child. Sure, he was thousands of years older than her, but according to her calculations, she was most likely physically older. He had barely begun his adulthood. Was still somewhat of a child himself. Not that she wasn't. At thirty-five, she knew she still acted like a twenty-something. But that was beside the point! She was a grown woman and that was her satchel and he had no right to keep her from it.
With a determined huff, Nancy gripped the edge of the shelf. If she couldn't reach her satchel, then she'd simply climb up there and get it. But as she climbed, the shelf began to wobble. No matter, she was almost there. Just a bit farther. If she could only stretch a little more….
The shelf toppled over with a loud crash, scattering books and papers and pets. Snakes and cats scrambled out of the way. Nancy, however, wasn't so lucky. She lay with the heavy bookshelf pinning her shoulders and body. Had any more of her escaped the shelf, she would have been crushed.
She fidgeted and wiggled, but it was no use. She was pinned. Her only hope was that maybe Loki would come to help her, but she dreaded his appearance. Because if he returned and saw her like this, there'd be hell to pay.
/
Loki stopped reading to stretch his limbs and back, and decided it time to take a peek at how his pet fared in his absence. He so loved watching when she thought he could not see her. She acted... differently. He closed his eyes and tuned in to his snakes, looking for one with an angle acceptable to see her properly. Snori did the trick, having positioned himself not ten feet from her. Such a good snake, Snori.
Loki furrowed his brow at the picture he vividly saw in his mind. How did one get into such a position? Was she... was she pinned beneath his shelf? Loki smiled to himself. She must have tried to reach the satchel on her own. And what a mess she had made. With a long-suffering sigh, he closed his book and stood. He debated rushing to the room and scaring her to death, but in the end he decided she would overthink his reaction amply. He slowed his steps and enjoyed the humorous show playing in his head.
/
Nancy struggled and strained. Gasped and growled. Pushed with all her strength. And finally managed to wiggle out from under the shelf. As she stood to gather her bearings, she realized how disastrous the mess really was. Priceless, ancient tomes lay scattered around the room. Some had landed open, successfully creasing numerous pages at once.
"Oh, no. No, no."
With what strength she had left, and utilizing her adrenaline to its fullest, somehow Nancy managed to right the bookshelf again. It wobbled and teetered, but it stayed. But the books, the precious books she loved and adored, were still scattered at her feet. Nancy groaned and ran a hand through her hair. "What a mess." she sighed.
/
Well, at least she had learned he didn't take kindly to someone ruining his things. He wouldn't mention that his cats had made quite the mess several times before he finally trained them otherwise. At the rate he walked, Loki thought himself about halfway back to the room. Should he slow even further? Give her a chance to redeem her blunder? No, what fun was there in that? He must arrive in the midst of her attempting to remedy it. In that situation, she could easily understand his amusement rather than anger. Besides, he had been dying to see her all day, not that he'd admit it. Now that he knew where she was in the remedying, he tuned out and instead watched the hall before him.
/
Well, first thing's first. Nancy quickly turned and snatched her satchel off the floor. It was what she'd been after anyway. After she successfully freed her notebook from its leather home, she slid the book under the bed and tossed the satchel back onto the shelf. With no time to lose – Loki could return at any moment – Nancy began to pile the books back onto the shelf. She didn't take the time to place them in the proper order, or even the proper position. It would take too long, and she wasn't entirely sure of where they all went anyway. Maybe he wouldn't notice. But, for now, she simply had to make sure they were all back on the shelf.
/
Loki slowed considerably when his door came into sight. He had, perhaps, rushed just a bit too fast. She had to feel that she had accomplished something. She couldn't know he saw the whole episode, especially since he had used a snake to do it. The look on her face the first time Snori had met her remained sealed in his head like a badly misshapen brand. He would not subject her to that particular punishment again. She genuinely hated the things.
/
As she placed the last book on the shelf, Nancy gave a small sigh of relief. At least that part was over. But, still, if he caught her in front of the shelf, he'd get suspicious. In an instant, Nancy snatched one of the books and dove across the bed, onto the waiting chaise. She flipped the book open and pretended to read it. It was the perfect disguise.
/
Calder, no more than a black streak at the pace he arrived, rubbed against Loki's ankles. Loki smiled and looked down at the cat. Now was as good a time as any. He had given her ample time to straighten and clean. Now, he would have his fun and see what she had managed to right.
Loki pushed the door open and stepped into the room. His gaze landed first on his shelf, and he fought both a laugh and a scowl. The tomes sat completely out of order, medicine mixed with history and math with fiction. Many sat upside-down or backwards entirely, with the pages showing from the gap between covers. At least, he realized, she really hadn't learned to read Asgardian. If she had, they would be in their proper places. Of this he was sure. He slowly turned his head to enjoy the sight of her. She looked so innocent, sitting there in the chaise, with a book open before her, even if she did hold it wrong-side up. She would have no way of knowing that even that small misstep could have tipped him off to her embarrassment.
Nancy continued reading her book – not that she could read it – and refrained from acknowledging Loki at all. She licked the tip of her finger and turned the page, completely absorbed in her work.
Loki grinned. If she had any idea what book she held, she would certainly faint. One of his favorites, a mixture of myths and magic... and written completely in Asgardian. He cleared his features before he could give himself away. "Pet."
All at once, Nancy's blood ran cold. Her breath caught in the back of her throat and her heart skipped a beat. She shifted uncomfortably and chanced a glance up at him. "Yes, master?"
He didn't miss the hitch in her breathing. She was frightened. More than likely of what he would do to her, and with good cause. He had been less than predictable since she arrived, and his temper did tend to get the best of him. Perhaps he should attempt to be more thoughtful. He sighed. Thoughtfulness could be such a hard task in the heat of a moment, especially with his legendary moods involved. He had to find a way to control it.
He glanced at his shelf again. So many mistakes he would have to remedy later. Yet... he wasn't angry. He found her attempt to solve a problem quite amusing. He sighed again and slowly made his way into the room, careful to keep her in his sights. He wanted to see her reactions. To judge how she looked and sounded when she lied. "That must be quite an enthralling tome."
"Oh, yes. I love the way the letters are formed." Nancy explained, quickly flipping through the pages for emphasis. "It's all so different than... other letters. The style. The shape. That sort of thing. Yes, very different… than… other letters." She cleared her throat nervously and pulled the book closer to her face.
Loki circled by her on the way back to his shelf. One simple pluck lifted the book from her hands. He turned it and settled it back. There. At least now she would see what the letters looked like in their appropriate shapes. For a linguist, she certainly hadn't paid much attention. He would love to think his presence disconcerted her so, but he perished the thought before it could take root. She did not think of him that way, or had their previous conversations taught him nothing?
Nancy swallowed nervously and willed her hands to stop shaking. "Yes, well. I suppose that is helpful. Thank you." Why was she nervous? She shouldn't be nervous. She'd only toppled over – and possibly destroyed – an antique bookshelf and the ancient texts within… Loki's absolute most prized possessions. So, what did Nancy have to be nervous about?
He did frighten her. Loki made a mental note to tone down the scare tactics. It wouldn't do to have her shut down on him. "And what have you been doing in my absence?" He arrived back at the shelves. So many volumes he cherished so well, and quite a few in English. Yet... she had picked from among them one from his own language. Would it not have been so much easier to hide her plight behind a book she could understand? Loki traced the spine of an upside-down medical history book, wondering.
"Oh, this and that." Nancy hid behind the book again, wishing she could just shrink away and disappear. "Trying to compare alphabets. Reading what I could of those books that aren't Asgardian. The usual."
"Mm." Loki pulled the book out and flipped a few pages. He might as well rearrange them now, while he had time. Besides, perhaps it would set her mind at ease to know he knew and had not yet punished her. Perhaps, this time, he would be lenient. He settled the tome back in its proper place and proceeded to untangle the other subjects. "Are you quite sure?"
He knew. He absolutely, positively, completely knew. She didn't know how he knew, but he knew. She sighed and put the book down. "How upset with me are you?" she whispered.
"That depends." He pulled out a misplaced book and stared at the binding. How did one somehow fit a geography book with medicine? All she would have needed to do was look at the etching on the bindings. One held plants, one held maps. Given... those maps did resemble vines if she hadn't looked carefully. He shook his head and replaced it to the correct shelf. "Where did you put the notebook?"
"It's under the bed." Nancy looked away and traced the golden pattern on the cover of her book. "But, if I may speak freely, it is mine, sir."
"Is it?" There. One shelf returned to perfection. The rest in subject matter, but not yet alphabetized. Loki turned to lean sideways against the shelf and cast a glance to Calder. The cat scurried from under the bed. Nancy's notebook slid out after him, disturbed by his movement. Loki studied it. So small, yet so important to her. Such a vital part of her life before now, and thus she could not give it up easily. She even risked his wrath to retrieve it. What in it could possibly hold so much power over her? He wished he could harness the power to use, himself. No, no, Loki chided himself. That was ridiculous. He couldn't be jealous of... paper. Yet... "What would you give for it?"
What would she give for her notebook? Anything. Anything he asked. But he wanted her to answer. To come up with her own punishment. So, what would she give? She wouldn't give up her food. That was a necessity. So was sleep. But… where she slept was another matter entirely. "I'll give up a night on the chaise." she offered, "I'll sleep on the floor tonight."
Loki let the smirk show this time. Her pathetic attempts at appropriate offers had started to enchant him. She had no idea how his mind worked, but he would let her think she had hit on something this time. However, the shelves still had to be alphabetized, and at the moment he did not have the time. He huffed a chuckle. "And you will attempt to straighten the shelf properly. Also, no more attempts to reach your satchel."
Fair enough. Nancy stood and made her way over to the shelf. "Will you help me?" she asked, studying the disorganized books in front of her, "I haven't quite figured out the order of the letters yet." Sure, she had written down the overall order of the initial letters of the titles of the books, but she wasn't sure which of those letters were Asgardian. Some proved to be Old English or Old Norse. Surely there were other alien languages among the books of his shelves. How was she supposed to differentiate between them, much less put them in their proper order?
"Surely you have memorized the colors or the sizes?" He genuinely smiled at her. Did she not realize he had offered her a project she could find pleasure in? Never before had he offered her anything to do with the languages she loved. Could she not see this as a sort of peace flag, for the moment? "Attempt it yourself. I will fix what you get wrong."
Well, at least he didn't expect her to be perfect. That was a relief. As Nancy turned for her papers to retrieve her observations of the order of the books, she remembered back to when she was still a student at S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy. Back to when she had a Supervising Officer. Agent Belle. Belle from Hell, they called her. The woman was horrendous, but an absolute genius. She'd drilled Nancy in similar exercises, only exposing her to a foreign language once before she was required to organize 'vital' information within a very constricting timeframe. Nancy had spent long nights perfecting the challenge.
Nancy quickly began to organize Loki's books into piles first, according to initial letter. Then, after the piles were complete, her task of organizing the shelf became easier. In order to reach the higher shelves, she used a chair this time, like a real adult. After forty-five minutes of trying to reorganize the books, Nancy finally slid the final book into place. She looked to Loki for his approval.
Loki watched her work. Not only did it provide a stunning view of her in her natural element, but he could watch her unhindered and not have her ask him a dozen or more questions regarding it. He barely admitted it to himself, but he liked to watch her. She strode with a sort of purpose and effortless belonging he had never seen in a woman before. There was so much about her that intrigued him.
When she had finished, and all the books were remotely acceptable—albeit still slightly out of order—Loki snatched her notebook from the floor. Such a weightless thing, and yet so desirable to her. If only he could find the secret to holding her interest. He held out the small rectangle, resting it on one palm before her. There was one stipulation he had forgotten to add to their treaty, but now was as good a time as any to remind her. "No more climbing."
Nancy smiled gleefully and took her notepad from hm. "But you let Crea climb." she teased.
"Crea is a cat." Loki blinked and stared at her for seconds longer than he normally would. What ridiculous creatures were mortals? Did she think she could so easily climb the shelves? Crea weighed no more than thirty pounds, and yet this woman thought she could just as easily scale things? He shook his head at her ludicrousness. The thought was adorable, but highly impractical. She could never, ever be that kind of pet. He reached to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Could she not see how she burrowed into his heart? "You are not."
"Well, I'm glad we've established that. And here I thought I was." Nancy leaned her face into his hand for a moment and smiled, happy that he'd returned. Then, with her smile still securely planted on her face, she returned to the chaise, beaming at the thought of having her notebook back.
No. He supposed she couldn't see. He shouldn't have let her in, either. It was bound to end in failure. Odin would kill him if he could read his thoughts about this particular Midgardian. Asgardians simply did not have these feelings about Midgardians. Unless, of course, that Asgardian was Thor. Loki bristled. He would not follow in the footsteps of his adopted brother. He could not love a mortal, for he would lose her far too soon. He could not lose anyone else.
So Loki created distance. Distance from her to his heart. Distance from his heart to his head. Distance... from her. He had to leave before he did something rash. Loki turned and started for the door with only a few final instructions. "Do try to refrain from injuring yourself. With shelves or otherwise."
Nancy smiled at him, still overjoyed, but then let her smile slip away. He was leaving again. "Wait. Where are you going? Do you have to leave?"
"I have research to attend to." He stopped, mid-stride. What if she said something very important? What if she really did have something to say to him. Could he take any more torture, self-imposed or not? "Why do you ask?"
Nancy shrugged and looked down at her notepad. It suddenly didn't matter as much anymore. Not as much as he did. She'd let him have it back if it would make him stay. "You always leave." she admitted, "Every day, you just get up, get dressed, and leave. All day. Every day. And I don't foresee that changing in the near future. I mean, I know you have work and all, but… you're always gone."
Loki smiled, a small motion that tugged open emotional doors inside him he had long ago shut off. Only this girl could do such a thing, break through his coldness and find the heart below. "But I always return for you."
"Yes." her smile returned for a moment, then fled again. "But only to ignore me again. You get so lost in your books and stories and work that you… you forget me. It's as if I'm not even here." Nancy finally looked up at him again, searching his eyes for his answer.
"Look closer, pet. I could never ignore you." Loki continued toward the door. How many times did he have to tell himself he could not be actively... involved with her? No matter how he may wish it, it simply wasn't done. Especially when one was king. He sighed. "I will be back. Soon."
"Wait! One last thing..." Nancy stood and walked over to him, knowing she had to do something to show him how much she longed for him to return. How much he meant to her. She softly wrapped her arms around him and gave him a loving, tender hug. "Good luck with your research, master. I know you'll find what you're looking for." She looked up at him, smiling again, and studied his eyes. The light that shone so brightly now. Oh, how she admired him. Everything about him. He was absolutely perfect, exactly as he was. Even with all his flaws and shortcomings, he was perfect. "And thanks for my notebook. It really does mean a lot."
"Of course." Loki smoothed a hand down her hair. So soft, so silken. So perfect. He lifted a lock to study it in the light. "I do hope you realize that I am not all bad, all the time."
"Of course you're not." Nancy laughed softly, gazing at him with all the love she had for him, "Why do you think I stayed?" Slowly, reluctantly, she released him and forced herself to take a step back.
With a slow, steady smile, Loki let her hair fall from his fingers. She had stayed. How could she think this all her idea when he had done such horrible things? Could she really be that different? He met her gaze with one of intensity. "Well, now. I am not entirely sure. Hm..." He shrugged, not affording her the answer she so desired, and turned to leave. If he stayed now, he would lose more than just his rationale.
Nancy frowned as she watched him leave. Even after all they'd been through together, he still left her. Yes, she knew how important his research was – as a scientist, she had a special appreciation for it and adoration for him for his own plight of study – but she could not understand why he would not stay when it was so obvious that she wanted him. Truly, she must be no more than an animal to him. Something to be petted and caressed, then forgotten for the remainder of the day.
With a sigh, Nancy flopped down onto the edge of the bed and looked down at Calder. "Well, I guess it's just you and me now."