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ROMAN
After dropping Jenny and Ryan off at their place, Giselle is still sitting in at the back seat when I get to her building. I look at her through the rear view mirror and notice how quiet she's been on the ride back.
"Would you like me to walk you up?" I ask.
"Yes." She softly says.
I drive around until I find a parking and we make our way to her apartment. Jackson quickly wakes up and comes over to Giselle, and she happily greets him before he goes back to his bed and lays back down. She takes off her jacket and puts it away before going to her room and comes back a few minutes later without her shoes on. My eyes linger on her curves and I wanted to touch them myself to see what they felt like underneath my hands. I try to find something to do to keep my hands to myself and thoughts elsewhere.
"Would you like to stay a little longer?" She asks. "Unless you want to start heading home. The snowfall is only going to get heavier and I don't have anything to help get your car out."
I go up to the window in the kitchen and see that it was already starting to fall and coat everything. I think for a moment and wonder how the hell I would survive a night here, with Giselle. Turning to face her, she looked so innocent with her face clear of fresh and her hair pulled back and up in a bun and out of her face.
"I'll figure something out. Besides, I think I have a story that I want to finish." I say, catching her interest.
"Yes, you do." She says. "You can go to the living room, I'll be there in a moment."
Taking off my coat, I go and take a seat before she comes back in a t-shit and sweat pants, looking more comfortable. She takes a seat next to me and we face each other after getting comfortable.
"So football didn't work out. Why not and what made you want to come up here instead of going back home?" She asks.
"I thought it would work out." I say. "Football was one of those things that I spent my whole life doing, and not to sound cocky or anything, but I thought I was good at it. I had gotten a scholarship for college ball and I started for three years, from sophomore year to senior year and I was one of the captains during my senior year. But I didn't get drafted in the NFL draft, even with all of my accomplishments and every team I signed with after that, only released me shortly after. The CFL is the only place where I stayed for more than a month, but I was released after a year and then I retired from football. I barely had money and I wasn't sure what exactly I had to do, I just knew that I had to do something."
Giselle had curled up on the couch and looked on, wanting to hear more. "I decided to use my degree for something and so I thought what better place to try than New York City. As for taking the route of shipping, to me, it wasn't something that I heard of a lot of people doing, in my opinion. For some reason that caught my attention and I wanted to give it a try along with wanting to become one of he best at it. So I learned everything that I could when I started out and worked my way up to what I have now."
"Do you like what you do?" She asks. "Even with all of the work and long hours that go into it?"
"Yeah I do." I say. "It's hard, but it's worth it. What about you? How'd you end up here in New York?"
Giselle smiles softly. "I was born and raised here. I lived in Orlando for a while before coming back up here."
"Why'd you move to Florida? And why'd you leave?" I ask.
"I wanted to get away from here. It was kind of rough growing up, but I liked it in Florida." She says. "My dad was in and out since my brother was born. Shortly after my sister was born, he left. He never came back and I never saw him again, even to this day. We lived in the projects with our mom, and I had to share a room with my brother and sister the entire time. My mom had trouble keeping the really good jobs and was only able to keep the minimum wage ones, so we had trouble with money. Then one day, when I was 12, she had us pack up everything we had and we thought we were just moving. But we went to the precinct that was nearby and she left, leaving us there. We were there for a while before we realized that she might not be coming back and we were right. We didn't have any other family to take us in and we were eventually put in the foster care system. I was there until I was 18 and I went to Florida for college. Micheal, my brother, was already there for school and Brittany came a year after me. After my sister died, I moved back up here. Michael is still there, though."
"Do you ever think about moving back to Florida?" I ask.
She thinks for a moment and looks over at me. "Sometimes and I miss living there, so who knows what will happen. When we were in foster care, I think they tried to keep us together, at least that's what I used to tell myself because we were together more often than not, but we were split up twice before getting put back together. We were more inseparable after each time and so sometimes I think we're still in that mindset of wanting to be close to each other instead of being separated and so far away from each other like we are now. I miss him a lot. I think that because we were moved around quite a bit, I'm just wanting to stay in one place for a bit before moving again."
"You want something stable though, regardless." I say, looking over at her.
"Yeah." She whispers, meeting my eyes and giving me a sad smile. "It's in the past, there's nothing I can do about it now, except continuing to move forward and trying to enjoy life as much as I can. I don't want to keep being that girl that's always sad and acting out from being so angry because of what has happened. I'm good, though. I got my best friend up here and I have Jackson. I have my job and my own place. I don't have to rely on anybody to get things done for me and I'm just good. Who's your favorite team in football?"
I give her a smile before replying. "49'ers. You still talk to your brother?"
"Everyday." Giselle says. "And I like the Saints. Are you close with your family? Don't you ever think about going back to Florida?"
"I am, were a pretty close knit family and we're always in contact with each other." I say, feeling bad that she didn't really have that positive experience growing up. "I've thought about it here and there, because I haven't seen them as much as I have wanted to. So I hear that you're single."
Giselle looks over at me and gives me a curious. "Are you?"
"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't." I tell her. "And I meant it when I said I don't share."
"Good, so you won't mind if I don't share you either, right?" She asks.
I couldn't help but want to smile. "Is that what we're supposed to agree on?"
"What is it that you really want from me, Roman?" She asks. "Why are you being so nice to me, and wanting to get to know me and spend all this time with me?"
"You don't trust people easily, do you?" I ask.
Giselle looks over at me after checking on Jackson. "No, because people have given me reasons not to and people tend to not stick around. They tire of me eventually and put me aside. It's how it's always been for me. People eventually get tired of me and get rid of me. The only exceptions have been my brother and Jenny. What makes you any different, that I should trust you? Don't give me none of your maybe's or answer me with a question."
"Not everybody is a horrible person." I tell her. "There's people out there are actually good and I know I may be an asshole sometimes, but I'm not a monster. Besides, do you really think I'll ever get tired of you?"
"You will, one day. Everyone does. You'll get what you want out of me, or get frustrated because you're not getting what you want, and then want nothing to do with me anymore." Giselle says, in a heartbreaking voice. "That's how it goes."
"It doesn't have to be like that, love." I say, making sure she hears me. "You're more than enough and you deserve people who will stick around."
Her face turns red and she hides it. "Just because you show me attention and say all these nice things, it doesn't mean that you won't leave. It's not that easy for me."
The tone in her voice when she says it, pulls at my heart. Thinking about how she grew up, maybe people really haven't given her much reason to trust them. I never thought about what it was like being in foster care, especially with no other family to take them in and prevent it and then to be split up from the only family that she did have on more than one occasion. Something inside me just wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay. This was a woman who, despite everything she's been through and how her walls have been built because it and her lack of trust in people, she has a beautiful soul and a beautiful heart that deserves good in her life.
"Hey, don't do that." I gently say, grabbing her chin so that she looks at me. Her blue eyes are confused as she looks on. "Don't hide from me. I know you probably don't trust me right now. We haven't known each other long enough and I get that. But don't hide from me. I got you. Okay? I got you."
Her eyes shine over and she looks as if she wanted to cry, but she quickly blinks it away. Curling up where she sat, she made herself comfortable again and fell quiet again. It wasn't long before she started dozing off and when I looked at the time, it was already a little past four in the morning. I got up and carefully put my arm under her legs and the other around her back, gently lifting her up. Giselle softly whimpered before curling up against my body, wrapping her arms around my neck. Her body felt soft against my hands and the way her curves felt, made me want more, but the feeling of wanting to protect her came back to me. It took me back to the first night that I ever saw her. Seeing the way that she was being treated, I just wanted to rip the guy's head off for ever putting his hands on her. When I found her room, the lights were already on and the covers on her bed were already pulled back. Red and grey sheets on a large bed in the middle of her room with a few pillows on them. Gently laying her down, she made a face, though her eyes remained closed. Pulling the covers up to her stomach, she seemed to relax and snuggle underneath the covers. Giselle looked so vulnerable and innocent as she slept and I wanted to keep her from the world. Keep her from everything that would ever bring her harm because I wanted to protect her.
Looking around her room, the walls were slightly off white. Curtains on her windows that were closed, and pictures around the room. I picked one up and saw Giselle standing in the middle, a large guy with dark hair and blue eyes standing on one side and a woman who looked similar to her on the other side of her. I realized, with the similarities in their appearance, they were her brother and sister. They all looked so happy, and Giselle had that sparkle in her eye and that dimple of hers that helped bring out the youthfulness in her appearance. Looking back at the woman sleeping in the bed, I wondered how she managed to still put a smile on her face all the time and go on with life after having it so rough and with the loss of her sister.
Walking up to her, I leaned down and pressed my lips on her forehead for a soft kiss. I backed away, almost in shock. It's been such a long time since I've shown any affection to a woman that wasn't my mother and sisters. But with Giselle, I was hooked on her. It was like I had become a man obsessed with her and she wasn't even mine to obsess over.
Turning the lights off, I walk out and find the room that I would stay in. It was slightly smaller than Giselle's and a lot smaller than my bedroom. But it was simple and cozy. It reminded me a bit of my childhood and the house I grew up in. Getting to the bedroom, I saw a folded towel and a brand new toothbrush and toothpaste with a note beside it. The feminine handwriting said:
'It's not much, but it's all I have. I hope it's okay.' -Giselle
I wanted so much to make her mine. Sometimes the smallest, most simple things can mean the most and she understood that. She lived that. Giselle had a good job that paid well and she still enjoyed the simple things. After taking off my shirt and placing it on the back of a chair, I go brush my teeth and then take off my shoes. I found myself walking over to her room and standing by the door, watching her sleeping form. Groaning, I leaned back against the wall next to the door of her room and just sat that, not wanting to leave her. I was used to going on little to no sleep, but I knew it would be a long night.
A few days later...
GISELLE
I was at work, coming back from lunch when I see a delivery guy bringing in a large bouquet of flowers. Hearing the guy say my name when he was asked who they were for, I answered and he smiled as he handed me the flowers.
"Are you sure it's for me?" I asked, confused as to who would send me flowers.
"I was told to deliver to this address to a Giselle Pena." The man says.
Taking the flowers, I thank him and go to my desk. Seeing a card nestled in between the flowers. Opening it, I feel a lump in my throat, seeing the masculine writing on the card.
'Giselle, will you go out to dinner with me, tonight? How does 8 pm sound?' -Roman
I feel my face turn red and feel it going down to my neck. I didn't realize I was smiling so much until a coworker came by and asked who the flowers were from.
"Someone." I simply said, putting the card in my pocket.
The person speaking was Elijah, who I met on my first day here. I worked as a Crime Scene Investigator, or CSI and when I first started, it was as an assistant to one of the senior CSI's, even though I had some experience from working as one in Florida for a bit before moving back up here. It was rough the first few days and he was one of the few people who helped me out and made sure I was okay. He was handsome, standing at 6 feet. Even though he is a little older than me, the man was in great shape. Brown eyes, dark hair, chiseled chin. Some would say he looked like a Greek God. But I couldn't get my mind off of Roman. Ever since we met, he's been nothing but nice to me and even though he's sometimes infuriated me, and made it clear that he finds me attractive, he's also been a gentleman. Everything with him felt normal. It felt right and it kind of scared me a bit. I want to believe that he won't just leave me like everyone else has, but how do I just let myself allow him to show me? How can I when I automatically put up a wall to keep the distance there so that I won't get hurt?
"It's someone I met a couple of weeks ago." I tell him.
"Oh, so it's a guy?" He asks.
We've been really good friends, and he's never given me the vibe that he's wanted anything more than that. When the moment ever came, where I got even the slightest hint of it, Elijah would quickly shut it down. For me, though, I never felt anything for him that went beyond a friendship. I always assure him though that he would find someone that would be great for him.
"Yes." I simply say, seeing a look on his face. "What is it?"
"Nothing. You just never talk about being with someone or having a romantic relationship or feelings with anybody, and it's the first time since you started here, that someone has sent you flowers."
I look down at the flowers and touch one of them, catching the scent in my nose. "Yeah, well, I haven't really had anybody interested enough in me to do it, I guess."
"Don't underestimate how amazing you are." Elijah says, in a soft voice. "The right guy will see that, but you need to see it, too."
I gave him a smile and watched him walk away. I let out a sigh and looked at the time, suddenly wanting 8 o'clock to come around so that I can see Roman again. I can still remember seeing him, Sunday morning when I woke up, sitting outside my room. According to him, he couldn't sleep so he stayed nearby to make sure I was okay. I felt bad because he had barely gotten any sleep, but I couldn't deny myself the part of me that was happy to see that he hadn't left, even when I believed he didn't have much reason to stay, other than the weather. Sometimes I wondered if I was ever enough, but when I doubted I was the only reason that Roman stayed, he didn't seem to like that I doubted myself or his reason for sticking around. Either way, we'll see if he keeps sticking around.
