AN: More angst ahead. In this chapter we see the effect of Riza's PTSD and the whole situation coming to a head. The following chapter will deal with the aftermath of it. Nothing graphic or anything, I just thought I would give you guys a heads up. So, sorry, but we're back with the angst for a while!

I also don't want you guys to think I am dragging this whole PTSD scenario out, but I want to explore how these characters would deal with it, and I want to do it properly. I want to do it justice. I think that as a writer, it is not only important to advance plot effectively, but you have to be consistent and realistic. I can't add a plot point in then forget all about it in a couple of chapters. But I promise, after this, there will be more fluff and happiness. We've just got to weather the storm first :')

Phew, all that being said, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter. Let me know what you think, especially if you think if anything is OOC!

"I have a question to ask you," Grumman announced quietly, his voice low as he placed himself on the bench beside Roy. He was currently eating his breakfast on the porch. Riza had experienced a particularly rough nightmare the previous night and was still asleep. Roy wanted to remain close by in case she needed him. "A proposition."

"Okay…" Roy trailed off, unsure of where this conversation was going.

"I would like you to return to Berthold Hawkeye's house to try and retrieve some information."

"What kind of information?" he asked. The request baffled him, to tell the truth. What could Berthold Hawkeye possibly have that Grumman needed?

"Information on you and Rebecca Catalina, to be precise."

Roy stopped eating. "What information does he have on me?"

"You believe Berthold turned you into a werewolf, correct?"

"Well, yeah. That's what I was told."

"That is impossible."

Now I'm confused.

"You either have to be born a werewolf, or you are bitten by one and the infection spreads into your blood. One cannot simply make a new werewolf. And I believe Berthold knows the true nature of your wolf's birth."

"Does Riza know this?"

Grumman's lips pursed. "I asked her. She flat out refused to go back there."

Roy suspected she would. "No wonder. From what she told me the man was nothing short of abusive. Why would she want to go back?"

Grumman sighed. The comment seemed to have aged him ten years. It pained him to hear that, Riza had told him as much too when she refused, but they needed to know. If his son-in-law had somehow figured out how to create new werewolves then Grumman needed to know. The knowledge was better in their hands than with someone who didn't know what they were doing with it.

Grumman was also perplexed by a single thought. If Berthold had created Roy and Rebecca, why would the man learn how to create something he had run away from? It made no sense.

"We need that knowledge Roy. For the sake of our people. If he somehow learned how to create you, I need to know how. Better that than it fall into the wrong hands."

"I'm not going behind Riza's back for some retrieval mission that may or may not be possible."

"I am not asking to go behind her back. I am asking you to do me a favour. Don't you want to know your true origin?"

That question stuck with him. Of course he did. If he couldn't have been "made", did that mean his parents werewolves? He would have definitely remembered being bitten by something that could turn him into a werewolf.

The thought of his parents sent a stab of pain through his heart. He hadn't thought of them in a while, which filled him with a deep guilt. He had been so busy assimilating to this new life that there hadn't been time to think. Even with that poor excuse it felt like he was dishonouring their memory.

"Okay, I will try and help." As Grumman's face filled with relief, he added his terms. "On one condition." Grumman nodded, eager to finally have someone on his side. "If Riza doesn't go, I don't go. I will try and discuss it with her but if she says no then it is over, all right? It is her father, so it is her decision. Not mine." The older man opened his mouth to protest. "Also," he added as an afterthought. "You help me find out what happened to my parents."

Grumman nodded, accepting his terms. "I can help in any way I can. Riza filled me in on her change in Central Park. It troubles me to hear what happened and I have been meaning to look into it. I have a couple of connections with the wolves in New York City. I will ask around."

A weight felt like it had been lifted from Roy's chest. The crushing guilt he had felt minutes prior alleviated. It is a start, at least.

"I'm not going back. I refuse."

"Okay, but think about it, don't you want to get some closure at least?"

Riza's face was one of disbelief. "Closure?" she echoed. "That bastard left me to die. I don't need shit from him."

"Riza," Roy tried to interject but was quickly shot down.

"I learned long ago about closure from that man. When I left that house for good? that was my closure."

"Just, listen –"

"No, you listen Roy." She was angry now. The glare directed at him was almost enough to cause him to shrink under its intensity. "The only way you will ever get me back there is by dragging my cold, lifeless body." Roy blanched at her description. "You can bet on that."

The door slammed loudly behind him and shook in its frame from the abuse. Roy blinked but let her go. She would need some time to cool off.

His intention hadn't been to make her angry. Roy just wanted her to hear him out. They had barely begun before Riza rounded on him. Sighing, he sat on the couch behind him heavily. That didn't go as he had planned at all.

"I'm sorry," Riza whispered. She didn't make eye contact with him. The blonde had joined him on the couch fifteen minutes ago but had yet to say anything. She had left an hour ago and Roy gave her the time she needed. "I'm sorry for the things I said. I was harsh."

"It's okay Riza. You were angry and upset. I understand."

The blonde shook her head. "It wasn't an excuse."

Roy placed his book down on the arm of the couch. He turned to face Riza, his heart softened. She was curled up at the edge, against the opposite arm rest. Her eyes were downcast, as if afraid to meet his judgemental gaze. But there was no judgement from him.

"I don't know what happened," she continued in a whisper. "I just got so angry all of a sudden." Roy could relate to that. "That man did nothing for me after my mother died. I think he died along with her. The thought of going back…"

Roy knew discussing this was hard for her. After first arriving here he had made Riza promise they would discuss what they were thinking and feeling. It was the most effective way to communicate. Something Riza knew, but found it extremely difficult to put it into practice. Of course she would. The majority of her younger years had been spent in silence with little or no input from her father. Communication was certainly not the man's strong point. Especially when it came to his daughter.

"Come here," he urged softly, holding out his hand.

However, Riza didn't seem to hear him. "I was terrified at first when Grumman suggested it. I really don't want to go back there." Emotion threatened to overwhelm her for a moment, but Riza pushed it down. "But at the same time…" she trailed off.

"You do." It was not a question, simply a statement.

"I'm scared, Roy," she whispered fearfully.

This time, he shifted. Wrapping an arm around Riza's shoulder, he closed the distance.

"I know. But I am here to help you get through it."

"The thought of facing Berthold scares me."

"You don't want to face your abuser again." Riza's gaze snapped up to his. Finally, she had looked at him. Hearing her deepest fears voiced by someone else was jarring. It was something she had promised herself no one else would truly know. But Roy had found his place in her heart and drawn it out. She trusted the man with her life. It only made sense she trust him with her past. "I completely understand."

"It is unfair for me to hold you back when the possibility of finding out your true origin lies with that man. If you want to go and speak to him, I won't stop you."

"I meant what I said. If you don't go, I don't go. After what he did to you… Well, let's just say I would need someone to reign me in. You are the best at that."

Riza felt a smile ghosting on her lips, but it was gone almost immediately.

"It would be selfish of me to hold it against you."

"I'm not going, Riz. I don't feel a burning need to know, nor do I particularly care how I came to be." That last part was only a white lie. In truth, he was extremely curious. But Grumman was already working on a lead regarding his heritage but curiosity also killed the cat. Roy had had enough near death experiences in his lifetime already. If this led to a dead end then so be it. It simply wasn't meant to be. He wouldn't put Riza through that. "What matters most to me right now, is you. As long as we are together, then everything else can take a back seat as far as I am concerned."

Riza smiled this time. A proper one. She reached to squeeze the hand that rested on her shoulder as thanks.

"I'll do it." Roy had superhuman hearing, but he had to ask her to repeat her answer, just to ensure he heard her correctly. "I said, I'll do it. I'm not stupid. This information Berthold might have is valuable. If it fell into the wrong hands then it could be dangerous. I guess it would be my duty to retrieve it."

"You don't have to do this."

Riza shook her head. "I do. I can't hide from my past forever. I need to face it sometime."

Roy considered her words. They rang true. She couldn't hide from her past forever. He didn't like to see her upset, especially about her rough start in life. But not addressing the problem would be worse in the long run. They both knew that, but were too afraid to discuss it. "Like I said, whatever you decide, I'm with you."

Riza kissed him then. Roy moved his free hand to her cheek, cupping it. Resting their foreheads together, Riza thanked him quietly.

"I will let Grumman know your answer. He said it would take some time to plan its execution so we will have time. If you want to talk to me about anything, let me know."

Riza knew what Roy was asking. She had never fully revealed her past to him. Mostly because they had never had the time. They were three weeks into the new year and, in recent memory, they had been Riza's happiest. She got to know the people within the settlement better. Breda and Falman has quickly become her friends, having been close with Jean already. The latter caught Riza up with everything that had happened in her absence. There were some bittersweet moments, but Riza enjoyed hearing about his life. Fuery had also joined their small group of friends. The young man felt incredibly out of place with all the supernatural beings and Riza mentioned her concerns to Roy. In an attempt of burying the hatchet with him, Roy welcomed him with open arms. Riza knew he felt bad about assaulting him in that hotel room. She knew he would jump at the chance to mend fences. And, for the first time in a while, she saw Kain smile.

They both didn't want to shatter the peace by travelling down her dark past.

"Where do you want to start?" The amusement in her voice was clear.

"Well," Roy began, lifting one leg so it rested on the opposite's knee. He shifted in his seat to get comfortable, no doubt settling in for a long night. "You have already told me about your time here. I have gathered bits and pieces from the time after."

So, Riza began to spin her tale about her childhood. She left nothing out. For a brief moment it really terrified her to open up so much to someone else. Then she remembered who that person was. In the short time they had truly known each other, Roy had stood by her through everything. There was a brief moment when he thought she had killed his parents, where he didn't, but Riza couldn't blame him for that. The blonde felt confident to say that he was her rock. He grounded her so well and in return, she did the same for him. When on the brink of losing control to his wolf Riza had been there to talk him down from that ledge. She would continue to do so as long as it was necessary. Things should be easier now that she had calmed his inner wolf.

"What about your childhood? Since we are on the topic of sharing."

Roy shrugged. "It was pretty standard. Not much excitement. A broken leg from falling off a trampoline when I was ten. That was the most exciting thing that happened."

Riza smiled. "You're lucky," she murmured wistfully.

Roy squeezed her shoulders. They had been reliving the past for over an hour but Roy still hadn't move from his initial position. Any excuse to hold and be near her, he would take.

"We will make new memories now," he assured her. "Happy ones. If you are up for it."

Riza smiled. "Always."

The snow had finally begun to melt in the late February sunshine. The roads had been cleared weeks ago, but it was only now that Roy's aunt expressed the desire to return to her home. Roy had asked her why she had stayed so long, despite the fact she had been itching to go back since before Christmas.

"Honestly?" she asked gruffly. "I wanted to see how you and Riza played out. I have seen you with a lot of woman Roy boy, but never with someone who you look at like that. I was siply curious." Roy felt his cheeks turn pink. He coughed bashfully, averting his gaze. Christmas grinned, amused at his reaction. "Be good to her son. She is a keeper."

The dark haired man grinned and nodded. "She certainly is."

Christmas was taking two werewolves with her back to Central Hotel. They would act as security and, through Christmas, they would alert Roy if there was any Hunter activity nearby. It would be suspicious if she was being watched and had suddenly become very friendly with two strangers. Calling a nephew frequently was a more plausible explanation.

Roy hopped in the driver's seat as Christmas entered the passenger side. Riza currently occupied a seat in the back. They had become closer recently. Roy knew it was because she didn't want to be left alone with her thoughts.

The drive was quiet and uneventful. The two werewolves, Denny Brosh and Maria Ross, ran close by but remained within the forest. Again, Christmas rocking up with two strangers would appear suspicious if she was been watched before her abrupt disappearance. Roy didn't want to leave Christmas here without him. In fact, he hated the idea. But the woman had not taken no for an answer when she told him to stay.

"At least let us give you some protection," he practically begged.

"I can live with that. But one of them won't be you." Roy frowned, causing Christmas to sigh. "Your place is here, with your own kind. Plus, if you come, Riza does too, right?" Roy nodded. "I wouldn't expect anything less. However, did you stop and think about how going back there might affect her?"

Roy opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. Damn, he hadn't. Returning to the scene of your kidnapping was not exactly an exciting prospect.

Because of this, when Riza expressed her interest in tagging along with them for the ride, he wasn't particularly happy with the arrangement. But she insisted.

"Remember, if anything seems out of the ordinary or suspicious, call me," Roy stressed as he opened the passenger door for his Aunt. Riza watched the exchange, fascinated as she heard the older woman chuckle.

"I have been in this game a lot longer than you know Roy boy. I know what the deal is."

"I just… don't like this. That's all."

Guilt ate away at Riza as she thought about how she was separating this small family. Christmas was all Roy had left and she was the reason they were splitting up.

Christmas waved her hand, dismissing his worries. "If I feared for my life I wouldn't have come back. Besides, you can't stay cooped up here all your life looking after me. You need to fly the nest."

Riza seemed to be forgotten as Aunt and nephew shared the moment. She felt privy to something she shouldn't have been. Although it was intriguing to listen to Christmas talk to someone in fuller sentences, rather than short and sharp answers, Riza turned and walked away to give them some privacy.

Being lost in her thoughts was a dangerous game nowadays for Riza. Especially when she noticed where she had wandered off to.

She froze, her mind flashing back in time a couple of months. Bang. A gunshot sounded and she jumped, spinning around wildly. Bang. Another. Panic and bile rising in her throat, Riza placed a hand on a nearby tree. She looked ahead, seeing Fuery huddled below, his hands covering his ears and eyes squeezed shut. Further ahead, Hughes held Rebecca tight to his chest as the brunette struggled against the vampire's hold.

"Riza!" she screamed, the noise piercing her eardrums.

The succession of two more shots sounding sent Riza to the ground. Panic enveloped her and her vision turned into a tunnel. The grass beneath her hands moved closer to her face very quickly. Movement sounded from behind her. She turned, seeing Jean hauling Roy backwards. He fought against the blonde man, clawing at his arms.

Her chest ached as if the long healed gunshot wounds were fresh.

"Riza," Roy's voice sounded from far away. It didn't sound real. The only thing that seemed real was the vision in front of her. Suddenly, it rippled like water and Roy stood before her, panicked. His mouth was moving frantically, but Riza heard no further words.

She gasped loudly, partly in panic, partly due to losing her ability to breathe. Move! She wanted to shout to him. They will shoot you too! But nothing left her. She was too frozen in fear.

Wheezing breaths filled her ears, the blood roaring in them. She grasped his forearms and tried to ask for help. No words left her move in her panicked state, but she knew her eyes would show her true feelings. His face setting, he squeezed her hands and lifted her off the ground. Closing her eyes, Riza buried her head into his shoulder. She took deep breaths, both to calm her breathing and inhale his scent. He was comfort and safety. If anything would calm her down it would be his presence.

An arm was looped under her knees and the other held her back as they moved. She clung to his frame, her arms looping around his neck.

Movement stopped and something weighted covered them both. She felt a rocking motion once they stilled. Too scared to open her eyes, afraid to see that scene again, Riza squeezed them tightly, focussing on the sound of Roy's heartbeat. A hand rubbed her back soothingly and, slowly, very slowly, Riza relaxed.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

He hadn't noticed Riza leaving them to talk. It couldn't have been longer than a couple of minutes but he could feel something building in his chest in the space his wolf usually occupied. Panic and fear dominated him and Roy wasn't sure if that was his emotions, or Riza's.

His fears were confirmed as he saw her kneeling on the ground, one hand against a tree trunk for support. She was looking directly at the spot where she had been gunned down.

Shit!

She fell to her knees, hands hitting the ground hard.

"Riza!" he yelled. There was no movement. Approaching from the direction she was facing, Roy called her name again. The blonde was already looking at him, but not seeing. Suddenly, there was a fleeting moment of recognition and Roy took advantage of it. "Riza, I need you to breath for me. Can you do that for me? Just breathe."

She grabbed onto his forearms as she wheezed. The sound tore at his heart. It didn't sound human. But he understood her silent plea for help. With determination she gave her hands a squeeze, hoping that Riza would at least recognise touch stimulation. It was clear she couldn't hear what he was saying.

As soon as she was lifted off the ground Riza threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shirt, turning away from the scene unfolding before her in her mind's eye. Roy looped an arm under her knees and around her back. He jogged to the door to his side of the house. Christmas already had the doors open, her face worried. Roy didn't dwell on the fact, but that was the first time he could remember seeing the woman genuinely worried for someone other than himself.

"What do you need?" she asked.

"I don't know." He felt hopeless. Then, he remembered reading somewhere about a blanket or comforter that offered some weight could help with anxiety or victims of panic attacks. It can ground someone by activating the deep pressure touch receptors, helping them relax. He had read up about it after Riza returned to them and Grumman posed the possibility of her having panic attacks or anxiety after her ordeal. "A blanket. I need a blanket. Two or three." His words were a jumble like his mind but Christmas understood him. A couple of minutes later she returned with what was requested. She wrapped them round the pair tightly.

Roy instantly felt the increase in heat. It didn't help that he was currently sharing body heat with Riza. It was about to become stifling under here but he didn't care. He simply held her tightly to him, resting his cheek on the top of her head. Closing his eyes, he prayed to anyone who would listen that she would pull through this.

Christmas watched the interaction between the two young werewolves. If she hadn't been so worried for the girl, she would have thought about how pleased she was Roy boy had found someone to love as much he did Riza.

Christmas knew this was a bad idea bringing Riza along but had held her tongue. Roy had reassured her they had made significant progress in her recovery. But Christmas had seen more than her fair share of people in her lifetime. Working in a bar you came across all sorts. You learn to read people very well, especially in her line of work. The hotel was simply a front. She dealt in information primarily and when people were inebriated… Well, loose lips sink ships.

She knew Riza hadn't been ready. Christmas could tell by the tension in her shoulders, the stiffness of her gait as she walked, even by the way Riza held herself while Roy and she had spoken in front of the hotel. She was not ready to be back here. She only thought she was.

And now her theory had been confirmed. She took no joy in the revelation. There was no pride in being right. Only sorrow. She had come to care for Riza as if she was her own. The bond she and Roy shared was real. No doubt the woman would be her adoptive daughter-in-law by the end of the year. Christmas would bet money on that.

"Has she been getting help?" Christmas aske quietly.

Roy nodded. "Her therapist said it will take some time for her to come to grips with it. Because of the nature of the incident it will be more difficult."

"You can't stay here Roy. Not with her."

Roy grimaced. "I know. But I don't want to abandon you either."

Christmas chuckled. "You are doing nothing of the sort Roy boy." Her voice was soft and it surprised him. "You have your own family now. Keep them safe."