Eventually, despite all the staring and awkward silence that followed Loki's outburst, the guests finished their meal and seemed eager to begin the dancing. Loki never understood that eagerness. He would much rather retire to his chambers. But he would fulfill his duties as king. He motioned to the musicians, signaling them to begin their merriment.
/
Little Lara Yorsdottir was a very curious thing. As curious as a kitten, her mother would say. And, quite like a kitten, she was prone to getting herself in trouble. Her sparkling blue eyes and sleek brown hair were her most defining features. Her hair especially. It hung like a grand waterfall down her back, bridged with a crown of braids at the back of her skull. Her silver dress shone like her eyes, making her look more like a living drop of moonlight than a child.
While her parents were distracted and her nurse flirted with a nobleman, Lara snuck towards the throne. She'd caught sight of the king's new friend. A woman. Probably a princess. That's the only reason she'd be sitting by the throne. She had to be a princess. But what was more curious was the fact the princess sat at the king's feet instead of by his side. Perhaps she liked that spot better, Lara thought. Well, she'd just go and find out for herself.
Just as Lara approached the throne, two guards stepped forward and crossed their spears, preventing her from venturing any farther. With a huff, the small child stomped her foot and stood on the ends of her toes, trying to see past the two men to the royals who sat just beyond.
Her approach did not go unnoticed by Loki. Curious, that such a small one would be so forthrightly curious. One so small could not have been put up to it by a father or mother, and certainly they would not think of letting her near the mischievous prince. She must truly wish to know something, to ask something. He turned his head to smile down at the child.
Nancy blinked at the girl. She was so small and pretty. Like a little doll. She couldn't have been more than six or seven. Well, the size of a six or seven-year-old, at least. With a smile, Nancy turned and looked up at Loki. "I think we have a visitor. Are you going to let her approach?"
"I am considering." Loki took his time studying the child, noting her earnest eyes, silver dress, and honest curiosity. Her wide eyes showed only sincerity and a bit of fear, of him, no doubt. She could cause no harm. He nodded to the guards, who moved aside to grant the child access to the throne.
Lara slowly approached and stopped at the bottom of the steps. King Loki looked very frightening with his horned helmet and polished armor. Remembering her manners, she did her best at a curtsy. "Good evening, majesty." Without really thinking about it, Lara began to nibble at her right index finger. "Why is there a woman there?" she finally gathered the courage to ask.
Loki nearly choked on the wine he had been pouring down his throat. He swallowed it and chuckled outright. Leave it to a child to ask such an obvious question. He should have known better. Children had a tendency to ask whatever was on their minds, nevermind that it might not be tactful. He let loose a short laugh. "Would you like to ask her?"
Lara rocked back and forth on her heels, considering. Finally, she shyly glanced to Nancy. "Why are you sitting there?"
Nancy gave the little girl a kind smile. She really was adorable, and quite brave, too. "Because the king asked me to."
"Oh." Lara glanced between the two, confused. "Why?"
Nancy shrugged, a bit embarrassed. "I'm his pet."
Lara tilted her head, really confused this time. That didn't make sense. Cats and dogs and horses were pets. Not princesses. "People aren't pets." She changed fingers and continued nibbling. "That nobleman didn't like her," she finally stated, looking to Loki again, "Is she bad?" The only reason a nobleman wouldn't like a princess is if the princess was bad.
Nancy gave a half-laugh, half-gasp at the child's ponderings. What would Loki say? According to him, she had a tendency to be a horrible pet, her will still unbroken. And the fact that this child thought such a thing… what did the other nobles think?
Loki tried valiantly to maintain his smile. He had never meant to give that impression. He didn't know why the child had thought that in the first place. Bad pets were left locked away, not allowed to escort him to a feast. If she had been bad, she would be punished, not rewarded. Such a strange creature, jealousy. "No. She is quite good, actually." He glanced past the little girl to find the man who had spoken earlier. Perhaps he should flog him for causing this dither. "That man should not be spoken of as noble."
Nancy glanced up at Loki. Did he really think that of her? That she was quite good? After all their arguments and disagreements, he still thought her good?
Lara rocked on her heels again, thinking on her next question. She rolled her finger around on her tooth and looked the princess over. A princess with hair like fire and a pretty green dress. A gold bracelet on her arm with a matching necklace and jewels. Yes, she must be a princess.
Lara finally removed her finger from her mouth, folded her hands behind her back, and stood still. "She's pretty. Are you going to dance with her?"
Loki glanced to the woman at his feet. If he danced, he wanted it to be with her, therefore it was out of the question. He would never be able to control himself while holding her in his arms. "I will not dance this evening." He smiled at the girl and spread a hand before him to denote her presence. "Unless, of course, you would do me the honor."
Lara brought her hands up to cover her blush and giggled, shaking her head shyly. The king was silly, wanting to dance with her. She wasn't old enough to dance with the grown-ups yet. Her mother had told her so herself.
Nancy smiled at the child's reaction, then cast another glance up at Loki. "Master," she whispered, "Surely there's one woman here worthy of a dance with the king. You should go enjoy yourself. At least one dance."
If only nobles were as easy to entertain as children. Loki rolled his eyes and wrinkled his nose playfully, tossing his look in the girl's direction. The girl's bravery deserved some attention. The good kind. He sighed heavily. "No. I shan't. The most beautiful girl has shunned me this evening."
Lara giggled again. "Apologies, majesty." Her curiosity quenched, she curtsied again and ran off to join her friends.
Nancy smiled as she watched the girl leave. She reminded her so much of herself. The girl would grow up to be bright and courageous, as she once was. But it was too late for Nancy now, cast down to the feet of her captor. She turned slightly and looked up at him again.
"I'm serious." she frowned at him, "I can't go out there, but you can, master. The night's still young. Go have some fun." The last thing she wanted was for him to not participate in the merriment on her account. He didn't need to stay with her. She wouldn't run away. If he wanted to go, he should go. There were plenty of beautiful women out there, surely one would suit him.
"I told you I do not often dance." Loki relaxed enough to stroke her hair with the hand he had previously laid on her head. The feel of her soft tresses under his fingers calmed him. The knowledge she was near and safe set his heart to rest. Nothing would happen so long as she remained there, just under his touch. "Unless a woman catches my particular attention or has the gall to ask me."
Nancy smiled and closed her eyes at the feeling of his fingers on her hair. Unless a woman catches my particular attention… She'd caught his attention once, back when they'd first met. Back then, they'd been equals. Well, at least more so than now. She couldn't help but capture his attention. "I would ask, but…" Her smile slid from her face and she opened her eyes again. She wasn't his equal. He wasn't caressing her hair out of affection or care. It was an absent-minded gesture, like when one pets a cat. Her frown intensified. Even if she did ask, he would never have her. "I… I can't." She turned back around and leaned back against the throne, blinking out at the crowd before her. The partners twirling round and round the golden room. "It wouldn't be right." she finally whispered, her heart breaking.
"Mm. That's my good girl." That ridiculous nagging wonderment of what her head would feel like against his leg sneaked back into his head. Would it feel soft? Or would it be weighty? Loki tried his best to shake it away. He could not think on things like that. She was his pet, not his consort. Well... not yet, anyway. He lifted his hand from her head and turned his attention to the dance floor, watching the nobles swirl and float across it. "So instead we enjoy the view."
Nancy leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She didn't want to watch them. She couldn't. Everything she'd ever been was taken from her. All strength and bravery. All sense of dignity and confidence. Who was she now? That's my good girl. Loki's pet. Nothing more. Rewarded for digressing down to little more than a spineless worm. Had she been the Nancy she remembered, she would have asked him nonetheless. But she wasn't. Forced to sit at his feet, she meant no more to him than one of his cats. She was no more than one of his cats.
Tears rose to her eyes once again, threatening to spill over. Only he could make her cry. Only he could stir these emotions inside her. Make her desperately desire to be taken into his arms, to be treated as an equal, then wither as any opportunity was snatched away with barely more than a few words. Only he would be so cruel.
Though he had stopped, Loki found he missed the feeling of her hair in his fingers. The soft waves lingering around his hand as he stroked. He absentmindedly reached to pet her long locks again. His eyes continued to roam the dance floor, though he couldn't single out any one particularly beautiful woman. Perhaps it was not meant to be on this occasion. Perhaps he was too distracted to notice anyone but the woman he had brought. A strange occurrence, but possible nonetheless.
She couldn't stop them, try as she might. One single tear dripped from Nancy's eye, trailing back toward her hairline. Another followed, then another, all collecting near Loki's fingers and dampening her hair.
"Does this sadden you, pet?" Loki paused his ministrations to look down at her with concern.
"No." Nancy immediately sat up and moved to dry her eyes. "No, I'm fine." She sniffed, betraying her lie. These were more than stray tears. She'd been crying.
"No one weeps for nothing. What weighs on you so?" He shifted his position to better see her face. Why did she weep? Had he not brought her here and placed her in a position of utmost honor? Why, then, did she cry?
Nancy shook her head and glanced down, embarrassed. "It's nothing. Really. I'm already over it."
Oh, please. Did she not remember she spoke to the god of lies? He could tell something was wrong and he didn't – not for one second – believe her answer, but he leaned back in his seat anyway. This was one of those times she had set her mind against him and would not succumb for any coaxing. He might as well not try. "I am sorry for your dismay. Rest a while. Perhaps it will calm your anxiety." She would tell him, given time. He would break her down with silence and listen when she finally deigned to speak of her distress.
She nodded and leaned back again, then shifted so she could lean her head against his leg. "I guess I'm just tired." How kind he could be, when he wanted to be. It was during these times she wished he loved her. She wished with all her heart that she meant something to him. Something far more than a pet. Nancy placed her hand on his ankle, wanting his closeness and hoping he wouldn't be upset she was laying on him. She remembered a time, not too long ago, when he would've never allowed her to do such a thing.
Loki closed his eyes and smiled. Her soft head barely weighed a thing against his strong calf muscles. He relished the closeness of her breath. The warmth of her skin on his leg. The knowing that she trusted him enough to be this close to him. If he could, he would stay here all night. He would do anything to hold this moment forever. "Sleep if you must. No one will disturb you." His voice came out softer and throatier than he intended. What magic did she play in his mind to cause him to react so?
Nancy closed her eyes and snuggled closer. "Not here. Not with all these people watching."
Loki shook his head slowly, sure not to stir lest she pull away. He could not bear it if she pulled away now. "They watch each other, not you. If you must, I release you to slumber."
She shrugged half-heartedly and looked out at the people. The beautiful women in their sparking gowns. They sparkled and shone unlike any material she'd seen on earth, catching and reflecting back the light of the torches. The trains of dresses blossomed out and swished in time with the music, matching the movement of their partners' capes. It was a scene out of a fairytale. A wondrous kingdom close enough to touch… yet she was forbidden to partake.
Nancy gripped his ankle tighter as her tears began again. How she wished she was one of them. A person instead of a pet. A queen among the goddesses. Where were these thoughts coming from? This wasn't her. How childish, to want to be a part of this world. As if she was no more than a character in her own version of Cinderella. No. She wasn't a child. Or a pet. A sob escaped her lips. Then why did it all matter so much?
It wasn't that Loki didn't notice her tears, only that he knew she would not tell him what they were for, no matter what he did to her. So, instead, he continued to gently stroke her hair, hoping it would bring some modicum of comfort. He knew not how to comfort someone when he did not recognize their sorrow. He wished she would tell him.
And yet, even through her tears, she could feel his fingers in her hair. He was still with her. Remained by her side. Why? Why did he remain when there were so many beautiful goddesses to choose from? Surely there was one who met his criteria. And yet he continued to stoke her hair.
Nancy buried her face in his leg, blocking out the sight of the nobles. "I'm not them." she finally sobbed, feeling unworthy of him.
Had his wish been heard? Had she somehow heard his thoughts and taken pity on his ignorance? Loki furrowed his brow. Was that really what bothered her? That she was not one of the arrogant, self-seeking nobles on the dance floor? He studied her intently. "Nor would I want you to be. They are nothing but pretty porcelain dolls. Superficial elegance that dissipates the moment you look beyond it."
"But your people were worshiped as gods." She turned to look up at him, studying his features. His eyes. Searching for his sincerity. "Surely there's more to Asgardians than good looks."
"The good ones, yes." He sighed. She might as well know the truth now, before he began a rant on the subject. Not that she hadn't heard many of his rants lately, but that particular one came with much, much bitterness. "Many of these only seek my favor on them and their daughters."
"Oh. No wonder you won't dance with them." She looked down, still feeling rejected. "I hope you find one of the good women one day. One who doesn't just want to use you."
"Occasionally, I find a sincere soul, or an exceptionally beautiful façade. Those I take great care with."
Nancy nodded solemnly, then turned around again. An exceptionally beautiful façade. She wasn't 'exceptionally beautiful' or 'especially ravishing' or even remotely anything more than average. She'd spent her life with her hair piled on top of her head, her glasses perched on the end of her nose, and a suit-dress covering everything that wasn't hidden behind a desk. She wasn't anything like the Asgardian women. No wonder Loki kept her as a pet. What else could she possibly hope to be to him?
Finally, her despair poured from her lips before she could stop it. "If I was more beautiful, would you dance with me? Or is it because I'm mortal?"
"Pet, I did not realize you knew these dances." Loki almost winced. The sarcasm that dripped from his tongue sounded nothing like him. Did the nobles' disdain wound him so badly that he must lash out at anything that tried to comfort him like an injured animal?
His sarcasm pierced her heart like a blunted knife, causing her to physically recoil. "I don't. It was... just a question. A stupid question. Just… just forget I said anything."
On a whim, Loki leaned down until his lips hovered beside her ear. He made sure his whisper was low enough it would be heard by none other than her. She had to know. Surely, she had to know why he did not leave her side. "If you knew the dances, rest assured you would be my first choice."
His answer was the absolute last thing Nancy expected to hear. She immediately whipped her head around to look at him, confused. "Me? Why? I'm a lap dog."
Having not expected her to move quite so quickly, Loki jerked his head back to avoid colliding with hers. Lap dog? How could she think such a thing? "You are exquisite."
Nancy shook her head disbelievingly. "But… you took that picture of my sister. You told me how beautiful she was. How you would rather have her as a pet. I'm not her."
"No." He leaned back in his throne. He distinctly remembered saying her sister was beautiful, but never had he mentioned how much more beautiful his own perfect pet was. Could she not see in the way he looked at her, desired her? Did he have to spell everything out for her? Loki sighed. He already missed the feeling of her leaning against him. "You are much more beautiful."
Nancy gazed at him with hurt in her eyes. How could he do such a thing? Tell her how beautiful Anita was, how he desired her more, then now tell her he wanted her own self more than her obviously superior sister? What game was he trying to play with her heart? Twisting her mind and soul in elaborate knots to suit his own fancy. Nancy turned her face away from him. She'd have no part in this ridiculous, horrid game.
Her reaction more than disappointed Loki. It dismayed him. She could not think so lowly of herself, nor could she think he jested. Could she? Even on Midgard, he had wanted her as his. Not just to study, he finally admitted to himself, but to have. He would not have brought her to Asgard if he only wanted to study her. He could do that well enough from a distance. How did she not see what laid so clearly before her? "Surely you know what I've wanted, what I've desired more than all else, since bringing you here. Do you not?"
"You brought me here to study me." Her voice broke with her tears.
"With the intent..." He leaned close so he could lower his voice again. His subjects didn't need to hear this conversation. They'd stone him, in all likelihood, if they knew. "...of gaining one desire burning within me."
Nancy sniffed and glanced at him again. "And what's that?"
Loki smiled and glanced up to study the room. They all carried on, oblivious to the conversation their king had with his Midgardian. Would they be horrified? Yes. However, he could no longer lie to himself on this particular subject. He replied huskily, "You. All of you, freely and unconditionally given. Every intimate part."
Nancy's eyes widened as an intense blush rose into her cheeks. "B-… bu-bu-… wha-?" She could only stare at him as her blush intensified and words escaped her. He wanted her. Intimately. And had for a very long time. Perhaps since the day they'd met. She blinked, still trying to comprehend everything he'd said.
"Interesting. Nothing to say? Very unlike you." Loki leaned back again to study her reaction. Was this embarrassment?
"But… but, but…" Nancy swallowed, forcing herself to speak, "You'll get rid of me. When we're done, you'll… you'll get rid of me. Like the others did."
"I've told you. Never assume what I will or will not do." He clucked his tongue. Did she so underestimate him, even now? Did she not hear the truth in his words? "Why would you think that?"
"Because you're a king." she gaped at him, "You're a king and I'm a pet."
"A king may do whatever he pleases. And you please me." He paused, a single thought centering itself in his mind. A question he had to know. "Who got rid of you, hmm?" If they had hurt her, so help him he would make them all pay.
Nancy glanced down, truly embarrassed this time. Embarrassed by the fact her co-workers had used her. Had taken advantage of her weakness. An image of James floated to the surface of her mind. A memory of their night together. Then the following morning when he'd left her alone. The days he'd ignored her. The excuses he made, most of which having to do with her position as a pencil pusher.
"A couple of guys I worked with." Nancy finally admitted with a sigh, still not looking at him, "I was drunk both times. Then they didn't want anything more to do with me."
"They are nothing but common rabble." Loki reached to twirl a piece of her wonderful, beautiful hair. He meant every word he told her. Had they still been on Midgard, he would have beat them within an inch of their life. Perhaps further. "I would never mistreat such a treasure in this manner."
Nancy gave a long sigh, considering his words. How cunning he was. How his words dripped with honey. Enough to tempt even the strongest woman. It was all she'd ever thought about. Lying in his arms, their bodies intertwined. Being fully his. Fully his equal. What he did with her after that was out of her hands. Her whole condition was out of her hands. He could choose to be rid of her tomorrow, knowing his moods, and she'd never get the chance to be with him. At least this way she had a chance of gaining his heart. Or, in the very least, satisfying her own burning desires. She gave a slow nod, consenting to his proposal.
Loki had no idea what the nod meant, but he hoped it was good. Hoped beyond hope it meant what he thought it did. Had he finally broken past her last shell, her last layer? Yes. He thought perhaps he had. It had never taken so long to break down one person, but the end was worth the game in this instance. He leaned back on the throne, only wanting the night to be over.
Nancy leaned back as well and resumed her spot against his leg. She snuggled close, seeking the affection he seemed so willing to give. "But I want it to be good," she whispered, "Romantic. Better than those drunk flings."
A soft chuckle stole past his lips to grace her keen hearing. "Trust me, pet. I will be."
"And I want to be your equal." It was all she ever wanted. "For one night. One moment. None of this pet/master crap. Let me be your lover. Not your pet."
"Perhaps it can be arranged." He looked to a window. Time could not fly fast enough. He tired so quickly of this party he didn't want to attend in the first place. And this conversation only made him hope further. Surely she would not be so cruel as to toy with him at this particular moment.
Nancy felt him shift behind her and turned to look at him. He was looking out the window, most likely checking the time. She grinned, knowing the cause. "You look impatient."
"I grow weary of false faces. I merely wish to be gone from this ridiculous party."
She smiled at him, admiring his sincerity. His honesty. He really did hate these feasts and she knew it. She hoped she'd made it easier on him, at least. "Maybe you can teach me the Asgardian dances before the next feast." she offered. "I would like to dance with you." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, blushing slightly. "Eventually."
Her smile was beautiful. The most glorious gift she could have bestowed upon him. He hadn't counted the days since she last smiled at him, but he should have. What he wouldn't give to see it more often. Loki found himself returning the gesture with fervor. And, of course, a little mischief. "Perhaps something can be arranged."
The musicians pulled the final chord on their instruments. The final chord of the final dance he was required to oversee. Odin's beard, he was glad the night could end for him. How did the nobles do this day in and day out? How did they think this merriment... this odious, immortal merriment... merited so many days and nights? Loki sighed with relief and mumbled to himself, "At last."
Nancy's smile slid from her face and she poised herself to move out of his way. "Do I follow you out in the same manner I followed you in?" she whispered, her head already bowed.
He braced himself to stand, but made sure to give his pet her specific instructions before leaving her to her own devices. He hoped it would make her feel better. He hadn't forgotten her. Hadn't overlooked everything they had discussed. "Yes. Kneel first. Follow when I reach the steps."
"Yes, sir." she mumbled, finally moving out of his way. Nancy knelt as he passed, then quickly stood and followed him as he reached the steps. She kept careful watch to remain exactly two steps behind him, her eyes never leaving the end of his cape.
As he reached the hall, Loki distinctly felt her presence behind him. Following him like the obedient pet he had trained her to be. He smiled and kept his pace, allowing her to simply follow. Savoring the thought of such a blissfully obedient creature. And, the best part was, it had finally become second nature to her. She finally found herself obeying him without thinking it through. The highest form of submission.
Loki arrived back at the chamber and, without much ado, flopped onto his bed. Who cared what the pet thought? He was utterly exhausted from simply maintaining his composure. Yes, their conversation had been fruitful, but emotionally he was exhausted. How could he possibly focus on anything else tonight? He needed only to sleep well so he could do it all again. In the morning, he would be better company.
Nancy returned to her spot on the chaise, opting to silently watch him. He looked far more exhausted than she'd ever seen him. They wouldn't be doing anything tonight. Nor would she want to, with him in this state. Her only concern was his health. If he was as tired as he seemed, she only wanted him to sleep. They could spend another night together. Some other night, when he felt up to it.
He could feel her eyes on him. Could almost taste her curiosity and could almost hear her thoughts spinning at a thousand miles an hour. How did she stare for so long without budging? He sighed. "If you do not blink, your eyes will dry."
"That's what the drops are for." she teased, then fell silent. Her next words came out softer. Gentler. "You look tired."
"I am. Quite tired." He forced an arm up to his head and tossed his helmet aside. It hit a wall and clunked to the floor with a tinny sound. All the better. At least now his head could breathe. And cool. He blamed Thor and Odin for the creation of that helmet. Cow's horns, indeed. That stupid helmet had started this whole business. Or, at the very least, had quite a hand in it.
Nancy stood and paced over to the edge of his bed. She knelt down until she was eye-level with him. "Would you like some help? With your armor?"
"Are you offering your services?" Loki propped himself up on his elbows, sitting up enough to see her reactions and expressions. In his dazed and exhausted state, he was liable to say or do something he might sorely regret in the morning. However, if she still wanted to help, he would not turn her down.
"Yes." Timidly, Nancy reached out a hand and ran her fingers through his hair. It was damp with his sweat, but cooling in the light midnight breeze. She smiled softly. "You look exhausted, master. Let me help."
Well, it was better than nothing. He would maintain control and he would allow this tension between them time to develop. As difficult as he found that, it made logical sense. In any case, this might settle her flustered nerves from dinner. She seemed to be the kind of person who needed to do something to calm herself. He flopped back on the bed, laying prostrate. "Fine. But only the armor, pet."
"Of course." Nancy tentatively climbed onto the bed, settling next to him. She slowly, carefully, detached each piece, letting the golden emblems reflect back the flickering torchlight. She studied each piece, memorizing every pattern and symbol. Each represented a different part of him. Protected him in battle. Kept him from harm. "I've waited a long time to see these in detail."
"Yes. I apologize for not allowing you longer to study them during our first encounter." He had been in a rush, then. Without thinking, he had stolen her from the helicarrier. Taken her to the tower. Allowed her to watch him in the cells. If it had been planned, he would have granted her much more time to study the armor. To study him. Instead, it had all been forced and furiously fast. No longer. This time, they had time to observe.
"It's alright. You were busy." Nancy whispered, removing the final piece: his breastplate. She remembered how she used to tease him incessantly over the golden crescent. But no longer. He meant far too much to her now. Nancy carefully set it aside and draped his cape over the back of a nearby chair. "All this time together has far made up for it." She moved to his side and gazed down at him, admiring how innocent and sweet he looked. Could this be the same villain who kidnapped her all those years ago? She would've done anything to remain by his side.
The obtrusive, inflexible armor gone, Loki rolled to his side and sighed contentedly. The soft mattress was just what he needed. Something soft to lay against. He let the stress slip from his shoulders. "Goodnight, pet."
"Goodnight, master." With the same slow and gentle movements, Nancy pulled his blankets over him. Acting on pure impulse, she leaned over him and planted a soft kiss on his temple. "Thank you for tonight."
"It was my pleasure. Truly." If he hadn't been so tired, he might have made a comment on that kiss. Instead, he savored it and slipped toward slumber. He smiled gently in the aftermath of the evening, thinking about every interaction he and Nancy had shared. All the promises she had made. All the truths he had told her. All of it worth the risk.