People believe that they know fear, that they know what they would do in a life threatening situation. Beth had never given it a great deal of thought; up until the turn of the world her life had been pretty simple and pretty sheltered. She attended school, she studied hard, she hung out with her friends, she rode and cared for her horses and she went on dates with Jimmy. News of this mysterious plague had reached her through the radio and television, through whispers that travelled down her school corridors, but she hadn't paid too much attention to them. Rumours of new and terrifying diseases broke every couple of years, but they never came to much.
That was before her mother had been bitten. She had come back into the farm holding her arm, muttering and complaining about some weirdo in the trees. Her father, who knew more about the plague than her mother, had been more concerned about it. It hadn't been long at all before her mother fell into the fever, the bite festering and infecting the blood which ran through it.
Her death hadn't been seen as a death, not to her father, who had sat quietly through her 'coma', waiting patiently until she had come back. She was sick, he told his children, and he would keep her safe and looked after until they found a cure, a cure he was certain would come.
But time had passed and her brother had fallen sick too, and no cure had come. Beth had felt fear, then, as the world had begun to fall apart. Radio and television information had stopped coming and the town had slowly ground to a halt.
Then the others had arrived looking for their little girl. And the barn had opened, revealing over a dozen people her father had been keeping locked up, still waiting on that cure.
Beth had watched her mother walk out, had watched a bullet fly in to her head, had run to her, had had her almost bite her.
Fear had consumed her then, resulting in her attempt at her own life. She absent-mindedly stroked the scar on her wrist.
After her home had been overrun she had felt fear, traipsing through the woods in the open, sleeping out under nothing but the stars, walkers approaching them at any given moment. They were never safe, could never see all the angles, could never watch their own backs. Beth had hardly slept a wink during that time, only ever succumbing to sleep when exhaustion forced it upon her. Even then her dreams had been full of death and disaster, until she woke up sweating, her heart racing.
Yet as she sat deep in the bushes, baby Judith in her arms, she believed she had never known true fear until this point. Her daddy was with her, as was a disgruntled Carl, but in the distance was her sister, Glen, the people she had called family – Daryl, and they were risking their lives while she was sat out in the bushes.
'I should be there.' Carl said, voicing Beth's opinions.
Suddenly the sound of gunfire broke out, loud and obnoxious, crashing down around them with such vehement force that Beth almost began to cry along with the baby in her arms. It was rapid and fierce, the sound of all out war, machine gun fire that tore down buildings and tore through people, a sound Beth knew she would hear in her dreams for years to come.
Then it stopped.
Holding Judith to her chest, rocking her and attempting to shush her, Beth paced back and forth, looking to her father for guidance. He looked back at her, concerned. The silence was worse than the gunfire, it reigned over them in suffocating menace presenting them with the threat and the terror of the unknown.
It lasted for some time, in which Beth began to feel like she would never remember how to breathe again.
Beth wanted to speak to her Daddy, to ask him what he thought, whether the governor and his forces had gotten into the prison, whether he thought Maggie was safe, whether they really stood a chance, but her voice died in her throat.
Instead she continued pacing with Judith in her arms, holding her little head to her chest.
Every time Beth closed her eyes she could see the cold, dead faces of her family and friends. Being so close yet so far from the scene was torturous, and she could see that on Carl's face too. None of them spoke as they waited on the outskirts, afraid of what was happening.
Then the second round of gunfire sounded through the air. Beth turned to look at her father, panic stricken. They were still fighting. They were still alive. They had to still be alive.
The gunfire continued for some time, turning Beth's saliva into sour bile as she stood, peering through the bushes.
Suddenly, a boy around Beth's age came running out of the bushes towards them. Beth staggered backwards, holding Judith closer to her. Carl raised his gun. The boy stopped short, looking between the three of them.
'Drop the weapon, son. ' Hershel said quietly, his eyes trained on the boy before them.
The boy was panting, his eyes wild and scared as they darted between them. He raised his gun, taking a step back.
Then he began to nod slowly, lowering his gun.
'Here, take it,' he said to Hershel.
In a flash, Carl shot him between the eyes. The boy stared at Carl for a moment before slumping down to the floor.
Beth screamed, burying her face in Judith's neck.
. . .
The death of the unknown teenaged boy symbolised the retreat of the governor's forces. Not long after that they heard and made out in the distance the vehicles that had brought the governor to their doorstep remove their selves from their grounds.
After they were sure, the small group that had ridden out the fight in the adjacent forest headed back to their home, scared of what carnage they may find there.
The guard tower lay crumbled and fallen and a lot of the surrounding fence had been knocked over. Bullet holes laced the floor and the walls as they stepped over the debris, the air still thick with the smoke of fire. Silently, the three of them entered the common room.
Rick greeted them instantly, taking Judith from Beth.
Beth looked around. Her sister, clad in riot armour, ran up to her, pulling her into a hug.
'You won,' Beth breathed, holding her close.
'It isn't over yet,' Maggie said seriously, stroking her sister's tear laden face, 'they're going to follow the governor. Take the fight to him.'
'Why!' Beth cried, 'they surrendered?'
'No-one trusts that he wont come back,' Glen said, approaching the sisters. He wrapped one arm around Maggie.
'You're not going?' Beth asked, feeling her bottom lip begin to quiver.
'No,' Glen said.
'We offered to stay and protect the prison.' Maggie said.
Beth breathed a sigh of relief, wiping away tears.
'Rick's taking Michonne and Daryl,' Glen said.
Beth spun around to look at Rick who seemed to be engaged in a serious conversation with Carl, Judith still in his arms. She looked around the room.
'Where's Daryl?' she asked, looking at her sister.
'I'm not sure,' Maggie said.
'Probably gone to get supplies – there,' he pointed as Daryl entered the room.
Beth left her family and hurried over to him, throwing her arms around his neck. Daryl stumbled back under her sudden impact. Then he placed his hands on her waist and peeled her off of him.
'Wha's th' matter?' he frowned.
'You're alive,' Beth said, 'I'm happy!'
'Oh,' Daryl looked over her head, seeming to look around the room.
'Please don't follow him,' Beth said, 'don't go to woodbury.'
'We have t'.' Daryl shrugged, 'we have t' finished this now, once and f' all.'
'Let Rick go,' Beth said, sticking her bottom lip out and staring up at the man before her, 'he can handle him.'
'He needs me there,' Daryl said, placing one hand on the young girl's shoulder, 'and I need t'go. He killed Merle.'
Beth looked down at her feet. She didn't want him to go, didn't want him to put himself in any more danger. She had spent the last few hours huddled out in the open, terrified for everyone's safety, and now she couldn't even relax. She shook her head, frowning, fighting back tears that threatened to spill.
One of these days my heart is going to give out she thought, trying to take in breaths around the lump that had formed in her throat.
'Beth,' Daryl said softly, gently cupping her chin with his other hand. He drew her head up to look in her eyes. 'I'll be back before y'know it, y'wont even have time t'miss me.'
Beth looked at him, unable to speak. Fear had paralysed her once again and that familiar feeling of nausea bubbled within her. She looked deep into his eyes, trying to convey everything she wished she could say through her look. His own eyes looked back at her, still and quietly confident.
She let out a long sigh and nodded.
He smiled, squeezed her shoulder, then walked past her, leaving her to stand there, alone, contemplating the awful mess her emotions had made of her and the vulnerable, compromising situations they put her in.
. . .
Beth distracted her fearful brain by helping her sister clean up the prison, assessing the damage and attempting to put things right. Remaining with her family helped her to relax, proving that they really were alive and well and safe. The first instalment of fear had passed and they had survived, but that didn't mean it was all over. For all they knew Rick, Michonne and Daryl could be being gunned down as they worked.
But she couldn't think like that, Daryl had told her not to lose her positivity, so she would try.
She was helping Maggie clear the fallen debris from the doorway to the cell block when they heard the approaching vehicle.
They turned to see a classic yellow school bus drive up to the gates. Maggie ran across with Glen to pull the gates open, letting it in. It pulled to a stop and Rick climbed out. Beth watched, confused, as people began to climb out after him.
Carl came running out of the building towards his dad, who embraced him.
'What is this?' Carl asked, gesturing to the bus.
'They're gonna join us.' Rick said.
Daryl pulled up beside the bus on his motorbike, coming to a stop.
He climbed off and walked over to Beth, shouldering his crossbow.
'Told ya I'd be back,' he said, stopping beside her.
'Are we safe?' Beth asked.
'I think so,' Daryl said, 'for now.'