Chapter 17: Remembering the Past

Chapter 17

Remembering the Past

Sage sat staring into the fireplace in the common room. He could not sleep and his mind would not relax. As he sat there, he was drawn back into his thoughts, into his past. He began to remember what had happened when his mother had died. His mind brought his back to when he was told about what he was and why he was so different, and he had also had the first taste of what his life might be like…

The room grew suddenly frigid as the boy suddenly realized what had just happened. He did not cry and he really could not anyway, it just was not in his nature. Sitting on the floor, he hugged his knees to his chest and stared blankly at his mother. She was gone and he knew it, and at just about seven years old he was not at all surprised.

He was not surprised because he had dealt with the pain of what was happening to her day after day. He could still hear the mumbling about the great fear she had for his future, about some Dark Lord, and about his dead father. She would talk to him sometimes as if he (his father) was still there with her, as if that night so long ago had never happened. His mother had been going mad since that night, since he could even remember. She had scarce talked to the boy about it, but he knew what had happened. He had seen it, as strange as that may seem. He had not seen it when it happened, but he did see it for the first time two years ago.

Since then it had been haunting him. The visions would come to him at strange times and cause pain to radiate through his body; he would shake and convulse and scream, then it would be over. He would wake up and feel weak and his body would feel funny. The visions had started happening more frequently up until his mother's death, and each time he could not help but wish that there was someone there with him.

The feeling was like being sucked out of his body to somewhere else, but still being able to feel the pain of daggers slicing in and pulling out of his body. That was why he did not cry. When he had cried, nobody had come. He was used to being alone, used to the pain, and used to feeling like there was something wrong or unusual about him.

He pushed himself up and walked over to her bed. He narrowed his eyes. Her body was lying there as if she was asleep, but the green liquid that was coming out the corner of her mouth had given her away. It was a potion of death, he knew. His mother had told him that his Grandfather had owned a chain of Apothecaries, and that potion-making talent was inherent on his father's side. Sage had seen his mother contemplating the book about poisons many times wondering when she would do it and how long she could hold off for his sake. Finally, the mental disease had gotten the best of her and she had used it. She had killed herself and left him alone.

He felt her body tentatively with his hand and touched her hair with the other. It was so cold, so motionless and silent. He could feel the air stagnating around him. Sadness had indeed engulfed him like a cold blanket. His eyes couldn't blink. No parents, no dad, now no mum. She had not been much of a mother, no the madness of her mind had taken that away from him, but she was all that he had. She was the only person he regularly saw.

Now who would he trust, who would care what happened to him, where would he go. He backed away from her and averted his eyes. There were letters on the bed in the large envelopes, sealed with a bluish wax. The ink jar was still open and the quill had stained a black spot onto the bed. He picked them up and read.

Mr Cornelius Fudge Minister of Magic

Care of Ministry of Magic, London

Confidential and Private

Mr Lucius Malfoy

Maliant Manor

1 Summit Point

Surrey

Sage

He looked curiously at this one and opened it.

My dear son, there is so much I wish I could have done for you. I fear that the time has come for me to leave you to whatever path you must walk. The fear inside of me will not let me see what that path may be. It is time for you to become known, time for someone to give you the help that I cannot give, someone to tell you what you are, and to teach you to use what gifts lie inside of you. I leave this up to Mr Fudge to decide. I fear the only household you can be put in will only bring you toward the direction I hope for you to avoid. I can only hope that your rightful place will be found. Remember what you have seen Sage, remember what happened to your father, and what happened to you. I know you can see it Sage. I only wish I could have helped you when you were in pain. Now someone will be able to do that for you. The dark lord has been gone for many years and it is safe now for you to enter the world without my fear that he will take you away. You are destined for great things dear. Send these letters out and someone will come for you.

The letter just stopped. No goodbye. He closed his eyes and opened them again right away. He was confused at what was happening to him. Was he going insane like his mother? He was seeing things, seeing things like his mother writing the letter and her tears of intense fear. Their dark owl flew down to him as if it knew that it was needed. It snatched the letters without so much as stopping and flew off again.

Arthur Weasley sat nervously at the dinner table with his wife. The children had all clamored off. He wiped his forehead.

"What is it Arthur, dear?" She asked patting him on the shoulder.

"I have received some interesting news today from the Minister. News that is most frightening but also most astounding. Sybein Malfoy has turned up, hasn't been seen since her husband's death. Seems as if, well, she is gone like Jace." He shook his head sadly.

"What's so frightening about that?"

"Well, their son, their son is Fred and George's age, maybe Ron's age and…"

"Ohh the poor dear, all alone." She said cutting him off.

"Listen, listen to me. She has written to the minister that she thinks he may be, ohh dear, might be a, well."

"Out with it Arthur! A what, how is a little boy so frightening that you're sweating."

The red-haired man wiped his forehead with his hand and stared at his wife. He took a deep breath and let it out. "She said that the boy is a Magi."

The stout woman stopped clearing the table and fell into one of the chairs. Her mouth hung wide open and a sudden look of concern came over her face.

"But, but Arthur, there has not been one for centuries, surely she could be wrong. They say that woman is mad."

"I am afraid it may be true. She is an educated woman, mad or not. His eyes glow at times. She says he has the visions. He's done plenty of magic already."

"But a Malfoy? What if, well what if he turns out like Lucius? A Snape as well, that cannot be any good either. With all those powers, there has not been a hand wizard to go bad since before, well for over two thousand years." There was fear in her eyes. The unknown

The man shook his head at her. "Fudge said that we'll look after that. But he is to go to the Malfoy's. Don't know where to quite put him otherwise. Snape is teaching at Hogwarts and hardly fit to look after the boy there."

"Well dear," Molly answered, gaining her senses, "Just being a Malfoy, or a Snape for that matter, does not mean that he is bad. He's only a little boy afterall. And I rather liked Jace, for a Slytherin."

"No need to worry about now. He is too young and has not been taught yet. But, it is quite a danger. He could be the end to you-know-who or he could be just the beginning."

Straight in front of the door to the living room, he appeared wearing his customary black. His face was quite blank, even in the home of his family. Severus Snape had just found out that his nephew had turned up and that his sister-in-law had killed herself.

He would have been happy five years ago if they had decided to stay, and maybe he would be a different man today. But during those five years Severus had changed, his heart had been wounded so many times that he was not aware it was even there anymore.

Six years prior he had taken joy in his family, in his brother, his wife, and the little boy. When Jace had passed, he began to shut himself off, shut out his feelings, because they were too hard to bear. You could not have those feelings and be a spy, no, a spy had to harbor nothing.

Now Severus did not want those feelings to reawaken, he did not want to have to deal with the implications of caring about someone. No, the death of Jace and then the death of Lily had taken that away from him. Just when he was beginning to get used to his solitude and emptiness, the boy turns up, and turns up a Magi. And for some reason or another he, Severus Ex Death Eater Snape, was chosen to teach him.

What's more, his own mother had agreed to take in the child because she had felt Jace was as much her son as Severus was, even though Jace had been mothered by a Potter. He secretly wished the boy had never turned up. He was sure to cause Severus trouble in more ways than one.

During these last years Severus had grown to loathe children all the more. Dumbledore had told him that the kids would grow on him as he taught at Hogwarts. He wondered what his young nephew would be like, probably just as ignorant, annoying, and disrespectful as the children at Hogwarts. Severus scowled, he was not looking forward to this. His train of thought was interrupted by his mother, who put a hand on his shoulder.

"It does me good to see you, Severus."

He looked back at her and then turned around. She was beginning to look her age, he thought. Her dark black hair was still unspeckled by gray, but deep lines traced her face.

"Sorry I have not visited in awhile," he answered, his voice rather monotonous.

She nodded, she knew how he felt about the house, about what had happened there. He had been staying at Hogwarts even over the summers. She had seen the change in her son and knew that only he could bring himself back. She understood his pain and understood how he shut himself of to it. She had done the same thing when her husband was killed by aurors almost ten years earlier. Secretly she hoped that the little boy would help him, help her son keep his humanity. Sage was perfectly like Jace, incredibly smart, very sharp, and very well-behaved. He was just of the demeanor that Severus would like to work with. He was, in many respects, a little adult. It seemed as if he had been seeing after himself for awhile, what with an ill mother and all.

At that moment Severus turned back around toward the living room. He could tell by the look on his mother's face that they had company. His eyes met the gaze of a small boy with great blue eyes with long eyelashes and black hair. They locked eyes for a few moments. The boy did not look away.

Severus' mother took a step forward and stood next to her son and said to the boy, "This is your uncle Severus."

The boy stared at him as if he were appraising him and then he narrowed his eyes and asked succinctly, "Can you make them go away, sir?"

"Can I make what go away?" he asked with sourness in his voice.

With an eyebrow up in suspicious questioning, the boy answered, "The visions, the pain, sir."

Severus remembered what he had been told about the boy. Not only was he a Magi, but he had already been having terribly painful visions. Quite verbal for such a child he thought. He talks more proper than most of the first and second years.

"I cannot make them go away but maybe I can lessen the pain," he answered, finally.

The child seemed to look satisfied with this. His faced became more relaxed looking. The tension drained some. Severus narrowed his stare to make it more potent. He saw no change in the boy's demeanor. He's not a coward either, perhaps there is a worthy brain in there, he is a Snape after all.

"There will be a day when you will be happy that I cannot make them go away," Severus stated, talking about the visions.

His nephew stepped forward and stretched out his hand to Severus. "Sage," he said, his blue eyes suddenly looking more open and at ease.

Severus shook the hand proffered to him but had no idea of what to make of the situation. Normally children were naturally petrified of him and it was very obvious that his nephew was not. It seemed to him as if the boy was sizing up his merits, or wondering how good of a tutor he would be. As if the kid had a choice.

"Well I'll leave you two so you can get started. Severus, why don't you use the library, he's been in there all day," the older woman said.

The young professor nodded and glared down at the boy for a minute. The boy was staring at him as well. He's already been in the library all day?

Severus started walking to the library and said as he went, "Are you going to stare at me rudely all day or are we going to get started?"

Sage sat cross-legged in an armchair across a small table from Severus. They were in a large two-story room which was wall to wall books. It was dimly lit by where ]the two were sitting. Severus felt a little more comfortable in this room, he still did not like the living room. When he was in there, he could not prevent his mind from giving him flashbacks of his brother.

"Now, I have been given the task of teaching you and it is not a task that I will take lightly, and I will not tolerate you taking it lightly either. This is not play time, magic is not fun and games, it is serious and you will treat it as such. Understood?"

Sage nodded, "Yeah."

Severus cringed, "Lesson number one. 'Yeah' is not a word and I don't want to hear it EVER. Words like that are called colloquialisms and are not used by persons with brains."

Severus caught him rolling his eyes even as he nodded that he understood. Severus sat forward immediately, leaned across the table, and crossed his arms on it. His face 6 inches away from Sage, he said, "Do not roll your eyes at me, or anything else equally improper. I'll warn you now but next time you will not like the result."

His nephew's eyes got really wide. He had smartly believed the threat.

"Don't just sit there, answer me."

Sage stared at him and then looked down. "Sorry, sir."

A distinct growling noise came from the man before he continued, "Fine then, clearly I have some rules to lay out or we will be constantly stopping.

"When you answer someone, you will look at them. You will give me your respect. You will not talk to me as if I am just some person; I am an adult, your uncle, and I am ultimately responsible for you and your learning. When we do our lessons, I expect obedience and the degree of formality commensurate with the seriousness of the instruction. If I give you work to do, I expect you to do it to the best of your ability and have it done when I tell you to. I will not tolerate laziness or bad penmanship."

The penmanship seemed very particular to the professor; likely because he already had to attempt to read enough eleven-year-old chickenscratch at Hogwarts.

Severus continued, "You are not to do any magic when you are with somebody other than me. You can only do it when you are by yourself for practice or with me. This is very important because you have little control over your powers and you could hurt someone. I expect you to work very hard every day. It is very important that I get you to a point where you can manage your powers." Severus stopped and stared at the boy. Sage appeared to be paying close attention.

"Yes, I understand, sir, I'm listening."

"We are going to start simple and then build up. I'll have you learn things with a wand first, then without, and then with your mind. We probably will not get to that last part for awhile."

The boy squirmed and Severus stopped, "Sir, I don't have a wand."

The professor shook his head negatively but without meanness, "I expected as much. Ollivanders wouldn't sell to you because you aren't of age yet and even with a note from the ministry it would be a hassle, so I brought one for you to use for now. I'll take you to get one more suited for you when you are older." Severus fished around inside his robes and pulled out a deep burgundy colored wand and handed it over the table to Sage. The boy stared at it a moment before he accepted it. His eyebrows jumped up as he touched it, and he looked up at his uncle.

"It tingles," Sage stated. "…sir." He tacked on a bit belatedly.

Severus shook his head as if he wasn't surprised in the least. "A wand is only a tool which focuses your power, given that, when you hold it your powers will make a connection to it and that's why it tingles. Most people do not feel that connection with their wand because their powers aren't strong enough to cause a reaction. It is good sign for you, I would expect a Magi to feel it."

"A what?"

Severus' mind stopped for a second as he stared in disbelief, but none of it showing on his face of course. The boy did not even know, nobody had ever told him what he was, that he was different, that he was a Magi. How could that have happened. The boy was seven years old, he should have been told by this point.

"You do not know what you are," he stated blandly in disbelief. He does not know what he is?!

Sage looked genuinely perplexed, his brow was furrowed, he was blinking a lot, "Know what I am, sir? What I am?" He stammered.

Severus exhaled, "Do you know what a hand wizard is Sage, a Magi?"

The man could tell by the look on the boy's face that he did not know. "I cannot believe that no one ever told you," he said more to himself than to the boy.

"My mom told me that I could do special magic, and that I'd understand when I was older, sir." He smiled slightly, confused about why the man had suddenly looked darker.

Severus growled again. Why was it his job to tell the boy? It definitely should have been done already. His mother should have told him.

"That is what you are, Sage, a Magi. Magi are a special kind of wizard that have very powerful magic within them, a power that no other wizard came hope to attain by either skill or practice. A Magi is born with innate magical ability, a magical ability that is rumored to have only the limitations of the Magi's own mind. They do not need wands or other tools, not even spells. Your magical abilities will be expressed faster.

"Magic normally grows within the wizard as he learns, in very small stages, and each wizard has limitations on how advanced his magic can be. Your power will not grow with you, in theory, it is already infinite, the only thing that will grow is your awareness of it and your ability to use it. Until your awareness of it and your ability to use it are of the level of the powers inside of you, you will probably not be able to handle the powers, the magic.

"In effect, it could do a number of different things to you. It could make you tired, or sick. Your body is too young for the powers inside you. Your visions are so painful in part because of this."

Severus leaned forward a little and stared into Sage's eyes trying to read what he was thinking or feeling. He could tell nothing. The boy's face was so blank and his eyes were glazed in a fashion that made it seem like he was somewhere else. Severus knew that look, that feeling, the boy was lost in his own thoughts. He had just been told something that was perhaps to difficult for him to grasp.

"Do not worry about all of that now, Sage." Severus said to bring the boy out of his own world. "We have other things we need to attend to right now. We will talk about this much more. The older you get, the more you will understand about what you are, but your special magic needs a lot of training to make you safe."

"Yes, sir."

This was almost too easy. And this boy was seven and not even close to eleven!

Severus took a deep breath and caught Sage's eyes with his own. "The first thing that you will need to work on is concentration, but a kind of concentration that can block anything out other than what needs to be dealt with. Wizards call this Focus. Focusing enough to do simple spells will be easy. I would expect you to be able to do simple spells without a wand right away." Severus took out his own wand and conjured a candle between them. "Now there are two ways you could light this candle. The most simple would be to say incendio, which is a spell that makes fire, and make sure that you are pointing your wand at the candle or focusing on the candle if you are doing this wandless. The more difficult would be lumos, which makes light, and if you do not focus enough on what you want to light, your wand will make light and you will not light the candle. Now I want you to try it."

Sage looked at him hesitantly and then stared at the candle. He pointed the wand at the candle and said, "Incendio." The candle lit. Severus put it out again without moving.

"Now try it without the wand."

The boy stared at him and said, "Are you sure, sir?"

Severus put his hands flat down on the table and said in a deathly hush, "Was I remiss in not defining what obedience was in the rules I just listed?"

"No, sir…"

"I wouldn't have you do it if I didn't think it wise."

Sage looked at the candle with uncertainty, "So, I'm supposed to do this with hand movement or something. How do I know what to do."

Severus narrow his eyes at the boy and said, "Every wizard is different, you will just have to try until you get it right. Wandless magic is very specific to the wizard, and it is very hard to outright teach. There is a feel to it. I would suggest starting out with your finger by the wick so that you don't miss."

The boy pursed his lips together and put his hand out towards the candle. He pointed one finger at it, but that did not feel right. So he put his thumb on one side and his index finger on the other side of the wick and said the incantation again. It lit but it almost burned his thumb. Again, Severus put it out.

"Good. Try it from farther away."

They spent the rest of the night lighting and putting out the candle and started on levitating objects. The young and stoic professor was fairly amazed at the boy's capabilities. He hadn't set anything on fire using incendio even when he lit the candle from across the room, and he had not even expected Sage to be able to focus enough to light it from that far away. In many ways his nephew was much easier to teach than the first years at Hogwarts, he definitely was not as much of a dunderhead as they all were.

Sage was beginning to look worn out, which Severus knew would happen because magic, especially wandless magic, was far too powerful for such a young person. He knew that his nephew would battle with that problem for a long time. Severus got up and picked a few select books from the shelves around them and placed them on the table in front of Sage.

"I want you to practice the charms in the first two chapters of this book. They are all as easy as what we did tonight, you should be able to do them by tomorrow. Also, look over the first chapter of this Transfiguration book because we may start on that soon as well. I'll need to get you a book that goes over Latin because I think you will find it useful if you know what all the incantations mean."

"I have one of those already, uncle." He said pulling a book out from beside him. It was big, old, and well-used. Severus took it and looked it over, even opened it up to appraise its contents.

"Where did you get this, this is not from our library?"

Sage shrugged, "An owl brought it for me when I came here. The note was signed by an Albus Dumbledore," he answered nearly fumbling over the name.

The man's eyebrow came up. It was very typical of Dumbledore. A least he had chosen to send the young Magi something useful and not an assortment of muggle candy. Knowing Latin made it a lot easier to learn any kind of magic because most of the incantations for charms work and transfiguration work were in Latin. Merlin was known for his novel incantations and use of Latin.

Sage intruded upon his thoughts when he asked, "Who is he?"

Severus blinked out of his own thoughts and then stared at his nephew. He was definitely not used to being asked questions. It would be something he would have to get used to. "I'm a professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and Albus Dumbledore is the headmaster of the school. Someday you will go there, once you learn more focus and control. He is one of the greatest wizards alive, Dumbledore, and he knew what you would need to start learning. You can start to read through that book as well. And you will compose a thank you note to Professor Dumbledore."

Sage took the book back from Severus and nodded. He did not seem to be phased by all the work Severus had just asked him to do. Severus had seen seventh year students whine about that kind of work.

"Do you think you can manage that," he asked, since the boy had not answered him aloud (again).

"Yes sir, easily enough," he answered almost giving a slight smile.

Severus stood up and Sage followed by uncrossing his legs and standing up as well. He stared up at Severus with his big blue eyes seeming very alive but his facial expression completely blank. Severus narrowed his eyes at him and then pursed his lips a little bit.

His nephew was not what he had expected. He did not know whether to be happy that he wasn't wild and childish or whether to be sad that he was not.

Severus vaguely remembered chasing his own older brother around the house throwing fairly harmless curses at each other when he was seven. It seemed to him that Sage was passed that or had never been in that stage. It made his job much easier, but was also slightly disheartening. Severus did not dwell on it much, he was pleased that Sage was so advanced for his years. The boy also had some very promising potential.

"I shall return around the same time tomorrow night and most nights thereafter. I hope you do not disappoint me."