Beth was roused from a dream and pulled into consciousness by the sound of voices from outside the bedroom. Frowning, she blinked open her eyes, sweeping them around the room until they adjusted to the darkness. She rolled onto her back, aware of a dull ache in her lower stomach, which brought back the sudden memories of her time with Daryl, rushing over her until every inch of her skin felt hot. She felt sore in places she had never felt sore in before, and she couldn't help but scrunch her face against the pain. Slowly, Beth got up and grabbed up her clothing from within the bed and on the floor, pulling each item on over her pale skin, her nakedness a stark reminder that it wasn't all just a dream. As she dressed she noticed the bruises that punctuated parts of her body, especially her hips and thighs. Her legs felt sore and weak and her lower stomach tender, but she did not regret it she realised. It had been a spur of the moment thing and maybe, she thought, they should have waited, but she didn't regret it.
Beth pushed herself up from the bed, groaning lightly as her body complained, and headed for the door which was still slightly ajar. She pulled it open and stepped out into the sitting room; the room was dim apart from a couple of candles which illuminated the three figures that stood together in the middle of the room, their bodies mostly in shadow.
They turned to see her as she stepped towards the light.
'Beth, are you alright?' Rick rounded the sofa towards her, his face cast in shadows.
She nodded.
'When did you get back?'
'Just now,' he said.
'Did you find him?' She looked from Rick to Michonne who stood beside Daryl.
Rick shook his head.
'We will though.' Michonne said.
'We're going to leave here once it's light.' Rick said, patting Beth gently on the shoulder, 'you should get more sleep.'
Beth nodded, stifling a yawn on the back of her hand.
She glanced over Rick's shoulder, her eyes connecting with Daryl. In a silent understanding, Daryl walked around the sofa to follow Beth into the bedroom. She nodded goodnight to the others before stepping back into the dark room.
Beth sat down on the edge of the bed and turned to face Daryl, who was stood with his back against the closed door.
'Are you okay?' Beth asked him, after a while.
Daryl regarded her for a moment in the low light of the dying candle.
'I'm going after him,' he said.
Beth swallowed. She dropped her gaze down to her hands in her lap. Even before her and Daryl had established any kind of bond, Beth knew what kind of man he was. She had never really thought there was a chance he wouldn't go after the Governor.
'When?' she asked.
'As soon as it's light' he said.
'Alone?' Beth asked, glancing up at him.
'Nah,' Daryl shook his head, 'Wi'Michonne.'
Beth nodded.
'Yer worried?' Daryl said softly, moving away from the door and over to the bed. He stopped at the foot of the bed and gently leant his hands on the railings.
'A little,' Beth shrugged.
There was very little chance of anything happening to Daryl; he was strong and fierce and smart. But she still worried.
'You ain't gotta worry 'bout me, girl.' Daryl smiled. He walked around the bed and sat down beside Beth, gently moving back a strand of her blonde hair from her face.
'Just promise you'll be safe,' Beth said softly, her eyes searching his.
Daryl nodded.
'About... earlier' Daryl said slowly. He looked down at his hands and cleared his throat. 'I'm sorry.'
'You regret it.' Beth said quietly, a warm sense of shame washing over her.
'Nah,' Daryl shook his head, glancing sideways at Beth, 'I don't. I jus' – I got caught up in th'moment, an' I was thinkin' 'bout leavin' ya in th' morning an'-'
'I don't regret it,' Beth said, stopping him, 'maybe it was sudden but – but I like you. And I wanted to. I really wanted to.'
Daryl nodded slowly.
'So you're … okay?' he said gruffly.
'I'm fine,' she laughed lightly, 'a little sore, but fine.'
Daryl swallowed, his cheeks reddening slightly. His embarrassment amused her. She leant herself against his arm, giggling lightly as he flinched a little at her touch.
'I'm going to miss you,' she whispered, feeling a little stupid, but overcome with emotion at the very real prospect of him leaving, just as she was feeling so close to him.
Daryl smiled at her, those soft wrinkles appearing around his eyes, the lines Beth had seen a while back, first drawing her to the conclusion that he was, indeed, beautiful. She leaned across the bed to him, leaning in, pressing her full lips to his own. Daryl kissed her back, his hand gently stroking down the side of her face as he did so.
'You hurry back to me, Mr Dixon,' she breathed as they broke apart.
'I will,' he said.
They sat in silence in the dark for a moment, Beth's heart heavy, the tingle of Daryl's kiss still upon his lips.
'Here,' he said suddenly, pulling the poncho off from over his head, 'y'keep this.'
'You're gonna need it more than me, out in the cold,' Beth said.
'Nah cold don't bother me,' he said, offering her a smile. 'You keep it warm f'me.'
Beth took it and rubbed the course fabric between her fingers. She looked up at the man before her, smiling. She leant in and kissed him again, her face flushed with happiness.
'Here,' she said, removing her bracelet from around her own wrist 'so you don't forget about me.'
'I aint ever forgetting 'bout you,' Daryl said softly, closing his hands around the small wooden beads.
Beth smiled and leant her head against his shoulder, sighing. Daryl pulled the bracelet on over his hand, the small brown beads fitting snugly against his wrist. Beth couldn't help but admire the way the bracelet accentuated the muscles in his arm, the veins that stood out in his wrist. Beth felt her heart begin to beat harder.
She moved her face up to his, capturing his lips with hers. Daryl pulled her close to him, drawing her small frame to his, his lips warm and soft against her.
'You get some sleep,' Daryl said, leaning back from her.
Beth smiled up at him, biting her lower lip.
'Will you be gone when I wake up?' Beth asked.
'Maybe,' Daryl said, 'Gon' set out soon as it's light.'
'So no goodbye?' she said.
'I hate goodbyes,' he said, giving her a soft smile.
Beth nodded.
'Me too.'
'Sweet dreams, princess.' he said, getting up from the bed.
Beth nodded, folding the poncho up on top of the pillow. Daryl left her alone in the room then, but she fell asleep to his scent, a smile on her face.
. . .
When Beth woke for a second time, the small room she was in was flooded by morning light. She kneaded her eyes as she lay in the bed, not looking forward to the trek that lay before her. After a while to gather her thoughts, she rolled herself up out of the bed, but was caught short all of a sudden when a pain flared up in her groin. Her limbs, especially her legs, felt heavy and sore, but her lower stomach felt incredibly tender and the space between her legs was so sore she wanted to squeeze her thighs together and curl back up into a foetal position beneath her blankets. But that wasn't an option. Sweeping her hair back from her face, Beth climbed up out of the bed and pulled her boots on, trying not to think about the pains in her body.
She stepped out into the sitting room, where she found Rick, Glen and Maggie standing around the kitchen counters. They turned as she stepped into the room.
'You're up,' Rick said, 'good.'
Beth headed towards them as Glen held out some granola bars, which she took.
'Did Daryl and Michonne leave already?' Beth asked as she tore open the wrapper.
'Yeah, 'bout an hour ago,' Rick said.
Beth glanced across to Maggie; she could feel her sister's eyes boring in to her until her skin started to feel hot. She looked away, deciding to chew slowly on her breakfast bar instead.
It didn't take them long to gather their supplies and ready their-selves for the walk back, so within forty-five minutes of having woken up, Beth was standing outside the apartment building, looking back at the now closed glass doors. It seemed weird to her, as she stood outside on the cold side-walk, gazing back at a building she had spent less than twenty four hours in, to know that this building had changed so much.
They had found – and subsequently lost – the Governor; he had attacked Beth, she had attacked him – and quite seriously, she thought proudly to herself, if the blood left over was anything to go by – and she had lost her virginity. She tilted her head slightly to look at the greying outside of the abandoned building. Never in a million years would she have suspected she would lose her virginity in such a place, in some long forgotten person's bed, surrounded by death and decay, and with a man twice her age. It was no where near the prefect scenario she had once envisioned - although, she thought, there had been candles.
'Ready to go?' Glen asked her.
'Yeah,' Beth hitched her backpack up further onto her shoulder, took one last, long look at the building, then turned her back to it.
As they walked back through the streets, heading towards the forest that lay between their destinations, it soon became apparent to Beth that her shared night with Daryl was going to make walking back pretty uncomfortable for her. Her lower regions ached in a way she had never experienced before, causing her to feel a little sick the more they walked.
She was not unaware of Maggie's gaze, which fell on her much more often than normal. She was used to Maggie keeping an eye on her, but something in her look was making Beth uncomfortable.
As the dull ache in her lower regions began to cause her to slow, she begun to lag behind the group. To her slight dismay, Maggie hung back too, falling in to step beside her sister.
'You alright?' She asked, keeping her brown eyes ahead of them.
'Yeah,' Beth said. She hoped she didn't sound nervous. She felt nervous. Why did she feel nervous?
'You look tired,' Maggie said.
'I'm alright.' Beth said.
Maggie nodded, but Beth could see her purse her lips in her peripheral vision.
'Where did Daryl sleep last night?' Maggie asked.
A wave of sickness washed over Beth as her heart dropped several feet. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly feeling very dry, as her skin crawled with a flushed heat.
'On the sofa,' she answered. Truthfully. But her voice seemed to crack as she spoke.
'Hm,' Maggie nodded again.
The two sisters continued to walk, having now entered the forested area, their boots crunching over the dying leaves and stones and mud of the ground.
'He didn't stay in with you, then?' Maggie said.
'No.' Beth said. She hoped her cheeks were not red.
Maggie sighed and shook her head, tucking her hair back behind her ear.
'I have to say – I heard some – some suspicious noises last night.' She said.
'Oh?' Beth squeaked.
'I can't be sure, I mean, they woke me up so I could have been dreaming but...' she turned her head to look at her little sister and Beth knew in that moment she was caught. Maggie's phrasing offered her a way out, but Beth saw in her sister's eyes that Maggie knew the truth.
She sighed, her body seeming to cave in on itself, her shoulders sagging under the pressure of defeat, giving up their attempt to remain upright, to hold up the lie any more.
'Did you sleep with him?' Maggie's voice was so low Beth almost didn't hear her, except all of her senses were now on high alert, her nerve endings tingling, each and every one of them as her blood thudded in her ears to the frantic rhythm of her panicking heart.
'Yeah,' she whispered.
Maggie groaned. She closed her eyes for a second, stopping walking.
Slowly, Beth drew to a stop too.
'I'm sorry, Maggie,' Beth said, her voice an abashed murmur.
'Don't apologise to me, Beth,' Maggie said, opening her eyes, but looking at Beth through a face that was scrunched with pain, 'it ain't got nothin' t'do with me.'
'I thought you would be mad,' Beth said quietly.
'Oh, I'm fumin',' Maggie said, grinding her teeth together, 'but not with you.'
'Don't be mad at Daryl,' Beth said quickly, 'Please, Maggie. He didn't take advantage of me or anything – neither of us planned for this to happen it just sort of – did.'
'He should know better,' Maggie said, shaking her head, 'Damn it Beth, you should know better.'
Beth just nodded.
'He gave you those marks, didn't he,' Maggie groaned.
'Yeah,' Beth pulled at her sleeves, awkwardly.
'How long has this been...' Maggie waved her hand out in front of her.
'A couple of months,' Beth admitted, 'but last night was the first time we – well.'
'Oh the perfect setting,' Maggie grumbled. 'Why now?'
Beth shrugged.
'It just sort of happened. We don't get much time to ourselves. He knew he was leaving and I'd just had a run in with a madman – I guess tensions were high. They needed a relief.'
'You're an idiot, Beth,' Maggie said, shaking her head, 'you know that?'
'I guess,' Beth sighed.
'So it was him you'd been sneaking off with all along.' Maggie said, continuing to walk along the dirt path.
'We haven't been sneaking off...' Beth said slowly, 'this all sort of just – well, it was an accident.'
'You're attracted to him.' Maggie said.
'Mm,' Beth bit her lip.
'I didn't think he was your type,' Maggie said, a little scathingly, 'the goody little singing farm girl and the greasy red-neck biker. What a match. Oh daddy will be proud.'
'Don't tell daddy, Maggie!' Beth pleaded, grabbing her sister's arm.
Her sister stopped again and regarded her for sometime, then she sighed and nodded.
'Okay, but I ain't gonna lie for ya,' she said seriously, 'and you gotta tell him y'self.'
Beth nodded.
'I never took you to be a liar, Beth Greene,' Maggie sighed.
'I'm not,' Beth said sheepishly, 'I just never … told you.'
'I gave you ample opportunity,' Maggie said, eyeing her sister.
'Yeah,' Beth sighed again, feeling pretty wretched, 'I just always thought you would be so mad.'
'Oh, I am,' Maggie nodded, 'but I'm your sister. I would rather you told me these things. I can't stop you – you're growing up – but let me protect you, at least.'
'I don't need protecting. Not from Daryl.' Beth said.
'Still, you should be able to tell me things,' Maggie said.
'I'm sorry,' Beth said again, but this time she really meant it. Maggie seemed hurt, betrayed almost, by Beth's secrets, and she hated to think she had upset her sister.
'I'll keep you informed from now on,' she said.
Maggie laughed then, surprising Beth.
'It's okay,' she said, waving her hands in front of her, 'I don't need the details of your sordid affair, thanks.'
'I didn't mean-' Beth blushed deeply.
'Are the two of you – a thing?' Maggie asked, raising one eyebrow, 'or is it just physical?'
Beth looked ahead of them, watching as Rick and Glen pulled their-selves up a steep hilly incline, struggling somewhat with the wet mud underfoot.
'I like him, a lot.' She admitted, 'but I can't answer for him, not fully. I think he likes me but you know-'
'He's Daryl,' Maggie nodded.
'Do you think – do you think things might change now, now that we've...?' Beth blushed.
Maggie looked at her, chewing her bottom lip.
'You can answer that better than I can,' she said, 'but it better not do. If he's been using you...' she looked ahead of her, her face darkening.
'I don't think so,' Beth shook her head. She really didn't think so. She had been starting to believe herself and Daryl were onto something more, something closer, something personal – if it turned out all of it had been a front to get her in to bed … but no, Daryl wasn't like that. Surely. Beth had read that from his body language last night, the awkward nervousness that radiated from him.
'It wont,' she shook her head, answering her own question.
Maggie nodded.
'If it does, you tell me, okay?' she said, looking Beth up and down. 'No more secrets.'
Beth nodded.
'And if it does,' she said, 'I'll be gunning for him.'
Beth smiled weakly, but she did not for one second doubt her sisters words.
. . .
The walk felt much longer to Beth, who had to contend with her sore body, varying sections of it complaining as she trekked through the country side. As she walked, she had time to muse over everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours, and there were a lot of things.
The Governor was back in their lives, officially. This meant terror and fear that Beth just did not want to face. She had grown complacent in the prison, enjoying herself and their relatively comfortable setting. The return of the infamous madman meant both herself and her loved ones were at risk, until he was caught. If he was caught. And now the man she cared about most – after her daddy, of course – was out in the open searching for him.
The prison would feel emptier and a little less safe without Daryl in it. Admittedly they did not always get to spend a great deal of time together, for everyone had to muck in to keep the prison life running smooth, but she always knew he was there. Or at the very least, not too far away. She had no idea where his hunt would take him, how far away from her it would lead and into what level of danger he was setting off to.
The thought drew a sickening feeling of worry in the pit of her stomach, which settled itself there and threatened to stay there, lurking, until he was back safe. Seeing as she had no idea when that might be, that sickening feeling seemed to grin up at her with a grotesque mask of a smile, letting her know it was going to be there for some time.
One terrifying ordeal had led to one amazing one... the loss of her virginity to Daryl. She had not set out with that as a plan or even an idea, but it had happened, as the best things so often do. Spontaneously. And it had been amazing. She had never known pleasure like it before, but it wasn't even the pleasure that kept her glowing despite the gnawing worry within her, it was the intimacy they had shared, their bond. His body, hot and slick, moving on top of hers, his low moans, his deep eyes, his hands roaming freely all over her small frame. She had let herself go entirely up to him and magically, he had let himself go too. No matter what came at her in the next few days, nothing could take that away from her, that memory. It would keep her warm at night as she slept in the cold cell block, would keep her hopeful.
And now Maggie knew, too. The thought of her ever finding out had terrified her to an almost paralysing extent, but now she knew, she almost felt a weight had been shifted. As much as she had loved her time with Daryl, their stolen kisses, their intimate little secret, just the two of them and their private, secret knowledge, their bond, it had, at times, been difficult carrying it alone. Some times she wanted to gush to someone about the way he held her, sometimes she wanted to cry to someone when he left or could not be with her. She had been alone in her first real, grown up romance, but now her sister knew about it she could maybe share it with someone.
And Maggie had not reacted as badly as Beth had expected. Okay, she was angry and disappointed, but she did not shout and scream or ignore her, she spoke calmly to her and listened. It was more than she could have hoped for. Of course, that didn't mean everyone would be so easy with it, but Maggie had been her biggest fear, perhaps even more than her father, so if that could be achieved, well, she felt a little bit more positive about the future. Perhaps they wouldn't have to sneak around any more.
So with thoughts of walking through the prison hand in hand with Daryl Dixon, Beth reached the prison with considerable ease, despite her aching body. The prison greeted them with open arms and Beth really felt like she was coming home. Her father was horrified to hear about her encounter with the Governor, but he was also proud at the way she had handled herself. Beth was immensely pleased by this, for it showed she was capable of going out alone now, showed she had grown and adapted.
Maggie did not bring up Daryl during the rest of the day, although she occasionally glanced over at Beth in a way Beth knew what she was thinking. She offered her a smile each time, but Maggie did not always return it. But Beth did not feel put out, she felt her sister was not really angry with her, and that was okay. The prison and the grounds around it grew prematurely dark with the winter sun and after such an adrenaline filled couple of days and the long trek back, with an aching body, Beth retired to her own room earlier than she usually would.
Her memories of Daryl, embedded in both her mind and her flesh, lulled her to sleep that night, as she lay in her cot bed, his poncho draped over her body. Wherever he was, she was sure he was safe, so she let herself fall to sleep in that belief, feeling content.