Clara had gotten Donna's voicemail and hung up without leaving a message because she couldn't just leave a voice mail asking for time off. She stopped throwing clothes into her suitcase and flopped down on her bed and for the first time that night let the tears start to flow. What was she doing? Not just a couple of hours ago she was confused as to which man she had stronger feelings for and now she was mad at both. Where did the Doctor come off making the kind of accusation he did? She wasn't with James because he looked like him, she was with him because he made her laugh, was kind, and smart. But was he really? Was that just all an act to disguise who he really is? Her Gran was right about one thing, she needed to take a break from both of them and to think about what it was she really wanted.

The next day Clara woke up, feeling tired from all the tossing and turning she did throughout the night. She was pretty much a walking zombie as she made her way into the office and sat down at her desk, slowly sipping her venti latte. Luckily, she didn't have a lot on her plate at the moment and didn't have any meetings scheduled. Once she got settled, she decided now was as good as time as any to talk to Donna about taking some time off.

"You got a second?" She asked as she knocked on her bosses open door.

"Sure, sorry I missed your call last night."

"Oh that's okay. It wasn't really important," Clara said as she stepped into the office and took a seat.

"Everything okay?" Donna asked.

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Why do I feel like you're lying to me."

"I'm not. Everything with work is good."

"But outside of work?"

"Just life stuff. Nothing I can't handle." Clara wasn't really sure how to ask for time off and felt a little weird about it since she hadn't even been with the company for a year yet.

"Okay," Donna replied, but Clara could hear the skepticism in her voice.

"Really, I can. I was just reacting to some news last night."

"Well if you want to take the next couple of days off, I'd be okay with that, but we do have that new client meeting on Monday and I need you here for that."

It was as if Donna had read her mind.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, you've been working hard and deserve a little time," Donna answered. "Plus, I need you on top of your game for this meeting and can't have you looking so tired. Go home, get some sleep."

Clara was relieved because she knew her mind wasn't on work at the moment and Donna was right, she needed to sort this crap out. She left Donna's office and started to head home, but decided instead to stop off at Amy's.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Amy asked when she opened the door.

"I've got a couple of days off, thought I'd come see you and Charlotte." Clara answered as she stepped inside. "Where is the little peanut?"

"Napping. She didn't sleep well last night, which from the looks of you, I'd say you didn't either."

"No I did not."

"You want a cuppa?" Amy asked as they walked into the kitchen.

"Yes, please."

Clara sat at the island and Amy started making tea.

"So you want to tell me what's going on."

"I had a fight with James and John last night."

"Both? What the hell happened?"

"I don't really want to get into it, but basically, James told me he loves me and that he's been lying about who he really is."

Amy stopped what she was doing and eyed Clara.

"What?!" Amy asked confused and shocked.

"I can't really elaborate."

"Okay. But how did the Doctor get involved in this?"

"James asked him to come over, telling him I'd need someone to talk to."

"Let me get this straight. Your boyfriend sent your ex over to console you?"

"Yes."

"But I thought the two of them weren't really on speaking terms."

"They weren't, but James told the Doctor the truth about his past and it would seem that he now forgives him."

"Okay. And do you know that story?"

"No. I was so angry with James that I kicked him out and the Doctor won't tell me because it's James' story to tell."

Amy finished putting the kettle on and then sat on the stool next to Clara.

"And why did you and he fight?"

"Because I couldn't believe that he was advocating for James. A man that he hated until a day ago and not to mention a man he didn't want me dating. Now he's trying to get me to give him a second chance. It makes no sense, Amy, especially since just a week ago he was trying to kiss me in your back yard."

"What?! You didn't tell me that!"

"I've been busy and I didn't really want to hear another lecture from you about leading the two of them on."

Amy looked at Clara with sad eyes.

"Please don't look at me like that. I feel bad enough as it is."

"Sorry," Amy said. "But let me ask you this. How did you feel after James told you he loves you?"

"Confused. I like him Amy, a lot, but I've been keeping myself guarded. I initially thought it was because the Doctor had hurt me, but my Gran made me realise I've been lying to myself and that really it's because I have feelings for the Doctor too." Amy smiled, and Clara knew it was out of victory of being right. "And don't say I told you so."

"I won't. I see how beat up you are. Do both of them know this?"

"No."

"And how did you leave things with the Doctor?"

"I kicked him out after he accused me of sleeping with James because I won't admit I still have feelings for him."

"So he knows."

"He assumes."

"But his assumption is correct."

"No it's not!" Clara raised her voice, then Amy shushed her, not wanting to wake the baby. "Sorry, but I'm just tired of people saying that. I really do care about James, Amy."

"I know you do, but all I'm saying is that initially, you were attracted to him because he looked like the Doctor. You can't deny that, Clara."

She knew she couldn't argue with that.

"Well, I mean, they obviously have a look I'm attracted to, but beyond that they are different."

"Sure, but one of them you were actually in love with and the other you had just met. Clara this twin thing has to have clearly messed with you."

Clara didn't say anything but instead just stared down at the counter top.

"Okay, here's a question and I really want you to think about it. What are your reservations about the Doctor?"

Clara looked up at Amy. "He lied to me about being engaged."

"And do you believe that he's a liar or just a bloke who made a really stupid decision."

"He's not a liar. He's been very open and honest with me after all of that."

"And James?"

"I don't know?"

"Look, I know all of this is complicated, but the only advice I'm going to give you is this. Figure out who you want to be with and stop seeing the other. The two of them in your life just fucks it up. Also, think about this, after James came into your life you were insistent on being friends with the Doctor. Why? And be honest with yourself."

Amy was right, she really needed to think all of this through, but she probably needed to talk to James before she did that. She needed all the facts and all the information in order to make the right decision.

James woke up with a pounding headache and the feeling he was going to retch. He slowly rolled over and looked at the clock and the red glow told him it was noon. Thank god he had the forethought to cancel his meeting and tell his receptionist that he was taking the day off. He had been so stupid to come home last night and finish half a bottle of scotch, but he just wanted to numb the pain he was feeling. He had finally opened up and more than definitely lost the one woman he had ever loved. He decided a hot shower might help clear his head, but before he could make it there his mobile rang. Without looking, he answered it.

"Hello," he said, his voice sounding rough.

"What the hell is going on?" River yelled from the other end of the line.

Great, the one person he didn't want to talk to.

"What are you talking about?" James asked. There was no way she knew he was thinking of leaving the business.

"You sent me a very strange text last night and I've been trying to call you all morning."

"What text?" Oh shit. He was trying to think back to his evening and didn't remember sending any text to her. He remembered debating about sending one to Clara, but then luckily had the common sense to not.

"You sent me a message that just said, I'm done, you can have it. Done what James?"

It came back to him before he started drinking, he had called his lawyer in New York to start putting papers together for him to buy out River's stake in Mondasian, removing her from the company, but giving her sole control over the business that should have been hers. He had hoped that would be enough for him to walk away and he'd be able to show Clara that he meant what he had said, he wanted a different life. He must have texted River later, not thinking straight from the scotch.

"I'm sorry, River. I shouldn't have sent that."

"So you're okay then? Everything can start back up?"

"No," he replied.

"No?" River questioned. "James what is going on?" River's toned had changed from anger to confusion.

"I shouldn't have sent you that text because this is something that needs to be said in person." James took a deep breath. "River I'm buying you out of Mondasian and giving you your father's business."

"No! James you can't do that!" Her confusion was gone and the anger was back.

"I can do whatever the hell I want. I got mixed up in that business because I was told I had no choice. Well guess what, now I do," James said, forcefully.

"This is because of Clara, isn't it?" River questioned.

"No, it's something I've been thinking about doing for a while. I've just now decided it was time."

"Bullshit! You never said anything about this until SHE came into your life. You're going to throw everything away that you've worked for and built, for her?"

"I didn't build that business, River, your dad did. The only thing I care about is Mondasian because that's what I built. You were never happy with the direction I took the organisation, so now's your chance to make it the way you want it. Do with it what you will, but leave me and Mondasian out of it."

"And what about us?"

"What about us?"

"Where does all of this leave my relationship with you?"

"I care about you River, but I can't be associated with you. Not with all that I know. I've been very lucky, and I want to get away from it before that luck runs out."

"So I'm never going to see you again. Is that what you're saying? That all these years I've been with you mean nothing and you're willing to throw it all away?"

"No, of course not, but I need to make a choice River and I'm sorry this is the one I'm making. And believe me it wasn't easy."

"Sure as hell sounds like it was," River spat. "I must say she must be one hell of a lay for you to give it all up."

"Leave Clara out of this," James said sternly.

"You think you can leave this life behind and go play house with her? What's she going to say if she finds out who you really are?" River threatened.

"She already knows."

"What!?"

"I told her the truth. I told her knowing I would lose her, but it didn't matter because I needed her to know the truth."

"You're serious?! James, what the fuck! What if she runs to the police!?"

"She's not going to do that. But I had to tell her."

"Why?!"

"Because I've fallen in love with her!"

There was silence on the phone and for a moment James thought River had hung up.

"I see," she finally said. "And she's okay with all of this?"

"No of course not. Which is why none of this has to do with her. I've made this decision because I'm tired of this life River. I never wanted it."

"You're making a very big mistake," River said.

"I'd be making a big mistake if I stayed. Please, River, this is my decision, just respect it."

"I'm coming over there."

"No! River, there's no need for you to do that."

"I need to talk some sense into and I can't do that over the phone."

"Please, River just stop."

James waited for her to respond, but there was nothing.

"River?"

The next thing he heard was the dial tone. Great, he knew it wasn't going to be easy, but now he was going to have to try even harder to convince her this was right. He hadn't really expected her to react the way she did. Sure he knew she wouldn't be happy about him getting out, but he really thought she would be about finally taking over the business. He hadn't really thought about how she would feel about him needing to cut her out of his life, but it made sense. They were the closest thing each other had to family and he had lost sight of that since being in London, especially lately when they've been fighting so much. They also were never ones to express their feelings, and River was just as cold as he was, if not colder. There was nothing he could do now, so he might as well focus on how he was going to win Clara back. He stripped down and got into the shower, letting the hot water wash over him, taking a moment to let his mind go blank. He stayed in there until the water got cold then got out and wrapped a towel around himself before walking out to the kitchen. That was when he heard his lift ding, and he had no idea who security would let up without his approval.

"James?" He heard Clara yell.

"Clara?" James replied as he stepped into the hall.

"Oh, sorry, I went by your office and they said you were at home," Clara answered as she took in the sight of him standing there wearing only a towel. "Do you want to go get dressed, so we can talk?"

"Yeah, just give me a second."

He disappeared into his bedroom and Clara took a seat on the couch. She wasn't sure this was a good idea, but she really did want to hear what he had to say. James came back a couple of minutes later wearing jeans and a t-shirt and for a second, she would have thought he was the Doctor, if it weren't for the short hair.

"I'm glad you came by," he said as he sat down on the opposite end of the couch, wanting to give her space.

"Yeah, well I wasn't going to, but I'm just feeling so confused."

"Understandable. Did John come over after I left?"

"He did."

"And did he explain somethings?"

"No, he said it was for you to say, not him. But the fact that he came over and advocated for you tells me it must be one hell of a story."

"I just want you to know that I'm not expecting anything and that I'm not telling you this because I hope you'll forgive me. I just want you to know the truth."

"Okay, so tell me."

James spent the next half hour explaining everything to Clara that he had to his brother. He told her about the blackmail and how he never wanted this life but it was all he knew. It was one stupid mistake after another and it was finally time to stop making those mistakes. Clara listened and as he went on, she could see why the Doctor was now more forgiving, but it didn't mean that she would be too. She did feel bad that he fell into this life, but she just didn't understand why he didn't get out sooner.

"So, I'm not making excuses for any of it, Clara because at the end of the day I made these choices, but I just want you to see that I'm not really a bad man."

"I can see that James, but I just don't know if you're a good man either. You've been lying to me and I don't know who you really are."

"You know me better than anyone, perhaps aside from John. Don't you see Clara, when we met, I had my guard up like I've done with everyone I've ever known. But being with you, falling in love with you, has allowed me to be who I really am. I've opened up to you more than I have to anyone."

"More than River?"

"Yes. River may think she knows me, but she doesn't. She's too driven by money and power to see who I really am. And River will no longer be a part of my life. I'm giving her the business and buying her out of Mondasian."

"And she's okay with that?"

"No, but she's going to have to come to terms with it. I'll make her see that this is for the best and once I do, this will all be a thing of the past."

He moved a little closer to her on the couch, just enough that he could reach for her hand. He smiled when she didn't pull it away.

"I love you, Clara, and I will never say those words to another woman. They are for you and only you. And it doesn't matter if you never say it back to me because being able to say it to you and feel it is enough. Sure it would be nice, but I'm not expecting anything from you."

"I just can't forgive you so easily."

"And I don't think you should, all I hope is that you will."

"I'm going to need some time, James. And not just to think about this, but to think about how I feel."

"Take as much time as you need. I'm not going anywhere."

Clara looked into his eyes and could see the sincerity. She cared for him a lot and despite the lie he had told her, she appreciated that he was finally honest.

"So what happens now?" She asked.

"Now, I work at cutting ties with the people I need to. Most importantly, River. I can't be associated with any of it."

"But couldn't River go to the police or something?" Clara had no idea how any of this worked and quiet honestly, she didn't want to.

"Not without incriminating herself." James could see that Clara looked worried. "It's fine. Everything will be okay."

Clara wasn't so sure that everything would be fine. She may not know much about his life, but she could only imagine that leaving it would be hard.

"Okay," she replied hesitantly. "I should likely go."

"You sure? I could make us dinner." James didn't want her to leave, but knew asking her to stay would be a long shot.

"Thank you, but no." She stood up and James followed her to the lift. "My mind and my heart are very confused, right now, so like I said, I need some time and I can't be around you or John while I sort this all out. Can you respect that?"

"Absolutely. I'll give you all the space you need." He lifted his hand to her cheek and lightly touched it. "I want you to do what is right for you and if that means you don't want me in your life, I'll accept that fate."

The lifted opened and Clara wasn't sure what compelled her, but she placed a light kiss on James' cheek before stepping in. The doors closed without either of them saying a word and James wondered if that would be the last time he saw her.

Clara left James' and decided to walk through the park on her way to the tube, hoping the fresh air would help clear her head a bit. How on earth did she ever get into this mess and how the hell was she going to get out of it? She had never been in a position before where she had feelings for two men and certainly not two men who looked the same. She had a lot to think about and she only hoped that she would end up with an answer by the end of it.