VII.

"Where are we?" Triss asked once they had emerged from the portal Philippa had cast. She took two steps backwards as she turned around, her mouth hanging open in awe. They were in the middle of a great room almost as large as Aretuza's banquet hall. The sun shining through a large stained-glass window to the west made rainbow patterns upon the mahogany floor, and Triss' eyes shone with wonder as she took in the deep browns and reds of the furniture, the beautiful marble of the mantle beneath which a warm fire cracked and sizzled. "This isn't… Tretogor Palace, is it?"

If it was, it was much emptier than Triss would have expected. Even Aretuza, with the limited number of students in its large space, felt busier than this. Triss had only seen one other person since they arrived, and she was fairly certain it was a servant. Whoever it was, they were obviously intimidated by Philippa's sudden reappearance, and skittered back into the shadows.

"Look out the window."

Triss went to the large bay window on the eastern side of the room, her steps light and excited. Leaning her palms on the cold stone surrounding the archway, Triss leaned forward and felt the breeze catch the chestnut locks that cascaded down her back. In the distance, far below the hill they resided upon, she could see miles of farmland. Grain was Redania's largest export, so that did not surprise her. What did surprise her however, was what looked to be another castle in the middle of the city of Tretogor. Triss' eyes widened and she quickly turned back towards Philippa, flabbergasted.

"Wait, if that's…?" Triss began, hardly able to believe what she was seeing – what picturewas beginning to form before her eyes. "Where are we?" she asked again. This time her voice was breathless as she looked at her mistress, suddenly seeing in vivid clarity the true power this woman held. It was astonishing. It was sexy. It was awe-inspiring, and Triss wanted nothing more in that moment than to become just like her.

A small smile tugged at the corners of the other woman's lips. "Where do you think we are?"

"But… you— you made it seem like your quarters were just somewhere you stayed while in Redania! I thought maybe a part of the royal palace, or just outside of it. Somewhere small, but nice. But this is…"

"Still my lodgings, just quite a bit larger than you were expecting," Philippa finished for her. Triss nodded dumbly. Mutely. She just stared, nearly doing a three-sixty again as she took in everything that this place had to offer. It was tastefully decorated, yet it invited a sense of comfort that made Triss just want to wrap herself up in a blanket by the fire. It was absolutely, amazingly beautiful, and Triss did not know how she ended up being so lucky, to have been chosen by a woman like Philippa Eilhart. "Welcome to Montecalvo, pet."

Triss exhaled in astonishment. "You are… this is…" She didn't even know what to say. "Wow."

Triss walked around the perimeter of the room one more time before she turned, full of excitement and ambition. "I want this. You'll teach me how to get it, won't you?" Triss didn't just mean the castle. She meant all of it. The power, the influence, a life full of the finest things a country, a king could offer her. She wanted it. Triss wanted it all, and for the very first time, because of the woman in front of her, she believed in herself enough to actually see herself getting it one day.

"I'll teach you how to get anything your heart desires, pet," Philippa promised her, her voice filled with pride as she watched her protégé finally desire the kind of power she was meant for. Born for. "All you have to do is ask."

[x]

"More!" Philippa demanded, circling a shaking Triss, dripping with sweat as she poured her magic into a megascope that her mistress had built. She would not tell her what it was for, only that it needed to be powerful - and apparently, Triss' magic was a better sacrifice than her own. "Are you deaf? You're not even utilizing all your resources. Have I taught you nothing?"

When Triss first arrived in Redania a few weeks ago, she had concocted this stupid fantasy in her mind of being in this beautiful place with this beautiful woman, learning sorcery from one of the best whilst enjoying freedom from the restraints of her schooling. And, well, most of that was still true. Philippa was still beautiful, if utterly frightening at times. When they were at Aretuza, Triss only had small doses of her, as she was too busy with school to do much with her apprenticeship. Here, however, was a different story. She was with Philippa nearly every moment of every day, and she was beginning to see why people did not like her. She was a good instructor, but she could also be a very harsh one.

Triss should have taken Philippa's warning about not fully enjoying her time with her seriously, but she hadn't. Instead she convinced herself that she could handle anything her mistress threw at her, and magically? She could. It was difficult, yes, but Triss was managing. Emotionally, however, she was not, and Triss was beginning to realize that Philippa's lessons were not just about her abilities any longer, but about shaping her into a woman who could handle anything.

The process of getting to that place however, was not fun.

"This is embarrassing," Philippa told her, and something sickening started to brew in the pit of Triss' stomach. It felt like shame mixed with resentment. She was trying. "If you are not going to take this seriously, then you might as well leave. I do not have time to waste on you."

The bitterness in the pit of Triss' stomach grew and, fuck, she missed seeing Philippa through rose-colored glasses. She was just so much more pleasant then. If she were being honest, next to nothing about this place was pleasant. Montecalvo was beautiful yet lonely, King Vizimir insisted on referring to her as "The Temerian Sorceress" in a mistrustful tone, which automatically excluded her from most things to do with politics in the capital. There was also this shady looking man named Sigismund Dijkstra who showed up unannounced on a number of occasions with news from here, there, and everywhere, and Triss did not like the way he looked at Philippa at all. It made her stomach turn. In short, this place was not the vacation she had imagined.

At least Tissaia would have been pleased to hear that.

"Triss!"

"I am trying!" Triss shouted, her anger and frustration beginning to climb towards an unbearable precipice. Her breathing was uneven, her chest heaving as she tried to concentrate. Still, nothing more came of it.

"Don't lie to me! If you cannot do this on your own, take it. Take it! Take it if you're too weak!"

Take it? Fine. She'd fucking take it, and she hoped Philippa regretted asking for it, because she was not weak.

All of Triss' energy went into conjuring not only the magic inside of herself, but the magic inside of Philippa. A guttural scream of anger, frustration, and power ripped past Triss' lips as her hand shot out towards her mistress, pulling everything she could from her much, much too fast. Philippa collapsed on the floor just before the crystal in the megascope shattered, overwhelmed by the amount of magic being poured into it in such a short amount of time. Triss stumbled back once the connection broke, her eyes bloodshot and wet, chest heaving.

"Happy?" she shot back, her throat closing up in upset as her anger began to trickle out of her as quickly as it had come, leaving nothing but sadness in its wake. "I am not… I am not weak."

"No, but you are certainly becoming more emotionally unstable," Philippa countered as she picked herself up off the ground. It irrationally irritated Triss that she could do it so elegantly, and her lips pursed into a thin line. "Power is nothing if you cannot control it. If you cannot handle me yelling at you, you cannot handle anything at all. You need to be able to perform under extreme duress, and that was nowhere close. That was pathetic, Triss, and I expected better from you."

Triss said nothing, the ache in the center of her chest consuming her. That was a test and she had failed. Miserably. Why didn't she realize? Why couldn't she just ignore her, and do what she was meant to? An angry tear slid down her cheek, but Triss ignored it, her stature rigid and her jaw tight.

"…I will work on it, Mistress."

"Yes, you will," Philippa confirmed, finality in her tone. "Now, go clean yourself up. I know that you are angry with me, pet, but you will pack that away and deal with it on your own time. In an hour, I expect you to have dinner with me." Philippa's gaze swept her apprentice's form then, an appreciative look in her eye as she instructed, "Wear something nice, won't you? I enjoy when my dessert looks as appetizing as my meal."

Triss gawked at her. That was, easily, the biggest emotional whiplash she had ever experienced, and she had no idea how to respond to that. It wasn't often that Philippa came on to her. Honestly, Triss' first thought was that it was a trick, and it probably was. Either that, or just another test.

"Well? Get going."

And Triss, having no idea what to say or what to do right then, did as she was told, and left.

[x]

"You distrust my intentions."

Triss had barely touched her food. She was still very upset with Philippa, but because she was still so unsure of her place here, she chose to keep it bottled inside. There were times when things did not feel so formal between them, times when the lines between teacher and student blurred away, but this did not feel like one of those moments. Ever since they had come to this place, Triss realized that being someone's 'pet' involved more than just being groomed and comforted. No, it was now like Philippa meant to turn her into a guard dog, and the process of turning her from a fluffy puppy into something that could be feared and respected was… unpleasant at times.

Triss said nothing.

"Yet you dressed up for me regardless."

The younger woman's knife scraped across her place. She hated the way Philippa said that, as it made her feel foolish. "Stop reading my emotions." She wasn't wrong though, Triss had made certain to look her best, although now she was unsure why. Her gently tousled hair framed a face with dark eyes and glossed lips. The dress that she wore, a deep emerald green, was cut low between her breasts.

Philippa, however, for all her judgment, wasn't exactly dressed down either. She wore a dark red men's doublet with silver embroidery, her hair swept back in an elegant braid that did not distract from the light touch of makeup around her eyes. Her freckles looked even more pronounced in the soft candlelight in the room, and Triss hated that she still looked so damn elegant and poised with them, when she had always equated her own to childishness and innocence.

"Stop having them."

Triss exhaled a disbelieving scoff at that. Okay, just stop having emotions, sure…

There was a long stretch of silence, the only sound in the dining room being the occasional refill of a wine glass by a servant, or the scrape of silverware against ceramic. Finally, Philippa spoke. "You need to start taking advantage of the opportunities presented to you, pet. I have given you ample time to turn this around in your favor, yet you continue to sit there and pout like a child. Tell me, would you find that attractive on a woman?"

Triss looked at her like she had to be joking . "Why should it matter?" she countered. As the weeks had progressed, Triss had begun to grow more comfortable speaking to Philippa in a direct manner. The woman had been pushing her buttons all day, and Triss couldn't keep it in any longer. "I know this is just another lesson of yours. You're already preaching to me, so don't try to pretend otherwise. You do not actually want to bed me, so why should I try to be attractive to you?"

"You tell me," Philippa told her, annoyingly keeping her cool. Triss hated it. "You're the one who came to dinner dressed as though you expected this to be a romantic outing."

"I wasn't the only one," Triss pointed out. She had meant to shame her with that, but Philippa was never shamed. It was one of the things Triss admired about her. She longed to be that way. Right now though, it just frustrated her.

"Exactly, and yet you failed to use that to your advantage," Philippa responded frankly. Triss wasn't entirely prepared for Philippa admitting that she dressed up for her, and she wasn't sure what to do with that information. But that was apparently Philippa's point. "Yes, this was a lesson," she admitted, and Triss' expression soured. "But it was a lesson that could have held a more favorable outcome, should you have only realized to take advantage of it."

"You felt weak today," Philippa reminded her, and Triss squirmed uncomfortably in her seat at the blatant reminder. "You felt angry and helpless, and that was because of me. Yet instead of taking an opportunity to exercise your power over me in return so that we may return to even-ground, you sat here and second-guessed everything, stewing in your anger and resentment."

"My power over you?" Triss asked in disbelief. While she felt much more confident than she did when they first began this relationship, she still did not feel qualified to stand beside her as an equal. "What power would that be, exactly?"

Philippa just stared at her, disappointment in her eyes. It flustered Triss and she looked down at her plate of food, her gut tightening in her dress. She hated this. Why was it that every test she seemed to get from the other woman, she ended up failing? Why did she not realize what it was that she wanted? There were so many ways she had improved during her time here with Philippa, but so many others where she still seemed to be sorely lacking.

"You have been with me every day for over a fortnight now," Philippa lectured her, and Triss' ears went pink at her tone. "You know my routine. You have a fairly good idea of the vastness of my power, but at the same time, its limitations. You know my strengths. You know my weaknesses. So tell me, what are they?"

"Your… weaknesses?" Triss asked, uncertain.

"Yes."

Triss hesitated. She wasn't entirely sure if she should even say this out loud, but Philippa was looking at her expectantly so Triss spoke her truth, not knowing how it would be received. "Your arrogance."

Philippa was talented, she was powerful, she was beautiful. But arrogance can be a terrible flaw when you strongly expect one outcome, yet receive another you're ill-prepared for. It was one of the first things Tissaia warned new sorceresses about. With great power came the unfortunate side-effect of being terribly cocky about it. You think nothing can touch you until, eventually… something does. And usually, it's something that's likely to leave a lasting mark.

Philippa laughed, but did not deny it. Apparently it was not something she concerned herself with. It made Triss wonder if she considered it to be a weakness at all, and what that meant if her education from Aretuza started to conflict with the lessons Philippa planned to teach her. "Go on."

"Women."

That was, perhaps, the worst one of all. Well, at least for Triss. When they had returned to Redania, Philippa informed her that very night that she had a standing 'date' with the wife of a political rival, and that if she felt anything residual from that, it was not intentional. While warning her was probably the right thing to do, Triss would have preferred ignorance. It would have been easier to feel those kinds of things and hope that Philippa was just pleasuring herself, than to know for certain that another was touching her, even if it was for no other reason than to gather intelligence against her rivals. This had happened twice already – both with different women – and Triss… she hated it.

She knew she had no claim to Philippa, and no right to be jealous. She also knew it was unreasonable to expect the woman to be celibate during the time they spent together, as she was clearly a sexual person. Still, Triss wished they could sever their bond, at least momentarily, when Philippa indulged in those things. There was nothing more pathetic than to get turned on due to the feelings your crush was experiencing as she fucked someone else. No, actually, there was: it was to masturbate to try to rid yourself of the feeling so you could finally sleep, and then crying afterward.

All in all, Triss' experience here could have been going… better.

"You need to learn how to recognize weaknesses in others and turn them into your own strength," Philippa told her. "You were right before, I am arrogant. I have been told it is not an attractive quality, but it is mine nonetheless. I also enjoy a pleasant evening with a beautiful woman, and can become utterly distracted by one who knows how to capture my attention. You could have easily used both of those things against me, yet you did not. Why?"

Probably because Triss had no idea how to capture her attention? She was only just starting to feel comfortable in her own skin, but she wasn't… she wasn't there yet. All of this felt weird. Was she supposed to be manipulating Philippa to her own ends? Was that what she wanted? Okay, perhaps it was a good lesson for when she needed to do this to others for personal or political gain, but Philippa was supposed to be her teacher. How was she supposed to get the upper hand when she barely knew how to play the game?

"Because I'm not… I'm not trying to do anything against you," Triss answered, confusion evident in her tone. "Should I be?"

"Of course you should be. You should always be aiming to assert yourself above others, no matter who they may be," Philippa lectured, and Triss stared. If that was Philippa's endgame, Triss doubted she would ever be able to meet it. At best, she could stand next to Philippa, but above her? That was… that was never going to happen. It just wasn't. "You underestimate your power, Triss Merigold, and I do not just mean your magic. Should you have only tried, I would have slept with you tonight, and while I would have only done it to prove a point, that does not mean that it wouldn't have benefited you substantially if you only knew how to wield the power you were given."

"I don't want you to sleep with me just to 'prove a point'," Triss responded strongly, a little offended that Philippa would even think that was something she wanted. It made her feel cheap, like she was no more than Philippa's whore. "I'm not going to have sex with you just because you want to teach me a lesson."

"No?" Philippa queried, very interested in the strength of her response. "Because a few weeks ago, if I had asked you to get down on your knees and service me right here, you wouldn't have even hesitated."

Triss said nothing, but the tips of her ears turned a little pink. She was right, and they both knew it.

"Truthfully, I am glad you would no longer do that. Know what you want. Know your worth, Triss, and then demand it from those who wish to diminish it."

Oh, so now she was proud of her? This was… difficult to keep up with. First she did something wrong, then she did something right. Was there a correct answer to any of this, or was Philippa merely making this up as she went along? Sometimes, Triss wondered.

Philippa rose from the table, delicately placing the napkin that was on her lap atop her plate. Apparently this lesson had concluded, but it left Triss with more questions than answers.

"I thought you said you wouldn't sleep with me while I was your apprentice," Triss blurted out, needing to understand what changed. Because according to Philippa, it was very messy, and could easily destroy their relationship and dissolve her apprenticeship. Considering what had happened between Philippa and Yennefer, Triss could understand that, even though she did not like it. But now she had finally accepted that sleeping with her wasn't an option until much later, Philippa was going back on that?

Was this just another test? Was Philippa just coming on to her just to see if she would take anything she could get? She was always encouraging her to have standards and to respect herself, so was Philippa just making certain that she was moving forwards? Triss felt like she didn't know which way was up anymore, and trying to stay two steps ahead of Philippa was beginning to give her a headache.

"As always, your education is my first priority," Philippa answered as she pushed her chair back in. She looked so poised and dignified standing over her, and Triss stared up at her, wishing she had the same kind of presence. "However, sleeping with you tonight would have been educational, and therefore I believe worth whatever risks may have accompanied it."

Triss scoffed. 'Worth whatever risks may have accompanied it'? That didn't even sound convincing. Triss stabbed a vegetable on her plate and said as much. "That just sounds like you want to fuck me, honestly."

"Does it?" Philippa asked innocently, a hint of a smirk playing on the edge of her lips. Triss froze. That was… that was not the reaction she expected, and now that she received it, she wasn't entirely sure what to do.

This was a trick, right? It had to be a trick, or a test, or a...

Philippa learned down, gently placing her lips against the warmth of Triss' cheek. "Goodnight, pet."

Triss was fairly certain she stopped breathing, internally screaming because she had no idea what to trust, and what this meant, if it even meant anything at all. Still, there was a part of Triss that felt like she was floating, and her response was soft and airy as she watched the woman walk away, wanting to believe that perhaps this wasn't just another part of her education after all.

"…Goodnight, Philippa."

TBC...