Clara and the Doctor walked into her flat, neither saying much on the way home. Clara kept replaying her last moment with James over and over and couldn't get the image out of her mind. Everything happened so quickly, nurses and doctors rushing in and trying their best to resuscitate him. She stood there completely helpless watching them make all efforts to save him, but nothing worked. James was gone and she was never going to see him again. She hadn't even been aware that the Doctor had come into the room until the nurses and doctors left. They had a moment to say their goodbyes, but it didn't make any sense. They had just been talking to James and now he was dead.

"Do you want a drink?" She asked the Doctor as she walked towards the kitchen.

"Yes," he answered as he entered her living room and took a seat on her couch.

Clara came back in with two glasses and handed one to the Doctor before she took a seat in a chair. He didn't take a drink, just sat there staring at the amber liquid, lost in thought.

"You okay?" She asked.

It was a stupid question because of course he wasn't okay. He had just lost his twin brother and she had yet to see him cry, so she knew he was holding onto something.

"No," he answered. "I just can't believe that he's really gone and it's not fair. I lost so much time with him because I was so angry. I let that anger rob me of him and now I can never make that up to him."

He downed his entire drink.

"I just wish I had reached out to him and helped him get out of that life. He'd still be alive if I had."

"You can't blame yourself for this, John. River's the one who did this."

"I know, I just feel so helpless. Like I should have done more."

Clara just nodded, not really sure what to say.

"But what about you? How are you?"

He had noticed that she had been much like him, going through the motions of getting back to her flat, not really aware of what was going on around them.

"I feel like this is all some horrible nightmare that I'm not waking up from. He was just talking to me, told me he loved me and that was it."

The Doctor wanted to take her into his arms and console her, tell her it would all be better, but he couldn't. He just felt like he didn't fully know how to be around her. They sat in silence for a bit longer, until the Doctor looked at his watch and noticed how late it was.

"I should go," he said as he stood up and walked towards her door.

"Wait," Clara said quietly, causing him to stop and turn back around. "Would you stay with me? I can sleep on the couch. I just don't want to be alone."

He saw how vulnerable she looked and he flashed back to her office when River had been holding the knife to her throat. He had completely forgotten about that after all they had been through since then. Of course she wouldn't' want to be alone tonight.

"Sure, but I'm taking the couch and don't argue."

"Fine, I'll grab you some blankets and a pillow."

He took their drink glasses into the kitchen, while Clara went to get the bedding. He poured himself a glass of water then went back out to see Clara making up the couch.

"I could have done that," he said.

"It's fine. It's done now."

She walked back towards the hall, but stopped and turned around to him.

"Thank you. I just feel better knowing someone else is here."

"No problem. Sleep well."

Clara said goodnight and went to her room to get ready for bed and once she got in, she laid there and let the tears that she had been holding back flow. Life was cruel and very unfair. This wasn't how it should be, and her heart was breaking. She didn't love James, but she cared for him very much and the idea that she would never receive a funny text or flowers to cheer her up from him again, made her sad. But what was breaking her heart was knowing what the Doctor must be going through right now and she didn't know how to be there for him. Now was not the time to tell him how she felt and to be honest she wasn't ready to. There was too much to process, now more than anything.

The Doctor woke up the next morning feeling tired and very confused until everything came flashing back to him. He had spent the night at Clara's and his brother was gone. He laid there staring up at the ceiling thinking about all the things he had to do today, not even knowing where to begin. He knew James' work would need to know, and he should call his boss to tell them he was going to need to take some time off. He also needed to contact the funeral home and start making arrangements for a funeral, although he had no idea who would even come. He looked at his watch and saw that it was still early and Clara was still sleeping. He didn't want to wake her, but he didn't want to lie there any longer, so he decided he would get up and make coffee.

He looked around the kitchen for the stuff he needed, hoping that Clara wouldn't mind. He started putting everything together, trying to focus on what he was doing, but finding it hard to stop his mind from wandering to James. The two of them had had a very strong connection when they were younger and the bond of being a twin was a powerful thing. The feeling of losing half of himself was bubbling on the surface and the quiet of the flat wasn't helping him from fighting it. He was never going to see James again and would have the constant reminder of him, every time he looked in a mirror. For years he let his anger control him and it made it easier to not think of him, but now that he had let that go, he was looking forward to getting to know him again. He felt the first tear fall down his cheek and that seemed to be all he needed to let them all start flowing.

Clara woke up, the events of the previous day fresh in her mind. She went to look for her mobile and then remembered that she had left everything at the office. She needed to call Donna, who likely would have heard by now what had happened, and she wasn't sure how she was going to do that until she remember the Doctor had stayed over last night. She got out of bed, threw on a robe and went out to see if he was awake, but what she was greeted with utterly broke her heart. The Doctor was in her kitchen leaning against the counter, sobbing. There was no stopping herself as she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him, causing him to stiffen, but then he turned and pulled her into him, holding her the tightest she had ever felt. She wasn't sure how long the two of them stood in her kitchen crying and hugging each other, it didn't matter, but a knock at her door pulled them out of the moment. Without saying anything, Clara went to the door, while the Doctor stayed in the kitchen, trying to get his composure back.

"Donna," Clara said as she opened her door, wiping her nose with a tissue.

"Oh my god, Clara! I'm so glad you're okay. I got to the office this morning and found out what happened. I sent everyone home, but wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm about as good as can be. Please come in." Clara didn't know what Donna knew about her and James, but if she didn't know anything, she was about to find it all out once the Doctor came out of the kitchen. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions."

"I don't need to know the details, Clara," Donna said as she stepped inside. "I knew something was up with you and James, I just didn't know how serious it was."

The Doctor stepped out of the kitchen and caught Donna completely by surprise.

"Ah, Donna, this is John, obviously James' brother."

Clara could only imagine what was going through Donna's mind, her in her pajamas and the Doctor wearing jeans and a t-shirt, both of them clearly looking like they had just

woken up. She felt like she needed to give her some sort of explanation because the last thing she wanted was her boss to be thinking the worst of her. Donna shook his hand,

gave her condolences and then looked at Clara.

"John and I used to date, what seems like an eternity ago now."

Donna just nodded her head. "Oh, before I forget, I was able to grab your stuff Clara."

"Oh thank you so much. I just realised that I had left it there."

"No problem."

There was a slight awkward pause before the Doctor offered Donna some coffee. She politely refused saying that she needed to go find a temporary work space until they could

get back in the office. She told Clara not to worry about work for now, just to keep her posted as to when she would be back. Clara walked her to the door and then leaned her head on it once she closed it.

"I take it she didn't know you and James were together," The Doctor said.

"No, I didn't exactly want everyone at work knowing that I was sleeping with my former client."

"True," he replied. "Ah, you want coffee?"

"Yes, please."

The two had some breakfast, not really saying much as they ate.

"So can I help you with making arrangements and stuff?" Clara offered.

The Doctor hadn't thought about her wanting to help him, but of course she would want to be a part of this process. She should be.

"Sure, I'm not really sure what to do and would appreciate another opinion."

"Whatever you need, let me know."

"Well I should likely get home, first. I need to call JD and see if he can take my class this afternoon and then talk to the university. Why don't you call me once you're ready and then we can go from there?"

"Sure."

A knock came to her door and Clara wondered who it could be this time.

"Oh thank god," Amy exclaimed once the door was opened. "I just heard about James."

Amy pulled her into a hug and then noticed the Doctor standing behind her friend.

"I'm so sorry," she said to him.

"Thanks," he answered quietly. Then moved towards the opened door. "I'll see you later," he said to Clara and then stepped into the hall.

"Yeah," Clara looked at Amy. "Give me a second."

Clara followed the Doctor out and shut the door so that Amy couldn't hear her.

"Thank you for last night. I was a lot more shaken than I thought I was and it was comforting to know that you were here."

"You're welcome." He went to bring his hand up to her cheek, but then dropped it, knowing that he shouldn't do that.

Clara noticed his hesitation and stepped in to give him a hug, knowing that he could likely use one. He slowly brought his arms up and wrapped them around her, then she felt his heavy sigh almost as if this hug was bringing life back into him. They pulled a part and then said their goodbyes before Clara went back in.

"Clara, I can't even imagine what you're going through right now," Amy said as Clara sat down on the couch near her. "What you're both going through."

"Yeah, it's all a bit surreal. How did you find out?"

"It's all over the news."

"Of course. I hadn't even thought of that."

"Yeah, I've been trying to call you, and when I didn't hear from you, I just decided to come over. Your dad called me too."

"Damn. My phone is dead. I'll call him in a bit."

"What the hell happened? The news didn't say much, just that there was a stabbing at your office and that James had died from his injuries."

Clara decided there wasn't much point in keeping the truth from Amy and told her about everything that had happened. For the first time in a long time, her friend was completely speechless, learning that James was a drug dealer and that he had fallen head over heels in love with Clara. She went on to tell her about River and how completely unhinged she got, threatening Clara, and that James essentially died trying to save her.

"My god Clara!" Amy uttered in disbelief. "This all sounds like a bloody movie."

"Yeah. I feel horrible, Amy. James wasn't a bad man and deserved to know what love felt like, but he died without getting the chance to know what it's like to be with someone who loves you the way you love them."

"Oh, Clara. I don't think he needed to know that. From the sounds of it he was a man who never opened up the way he did with you and even though you may not have loved him the way he loved you, I think you gave him what he needed."

"Maybe. We'll never know. I wanted to love him Amy, but the more I thought about my feelings and my future it was the Doctor I kept seeing."

Amy smiled at her, "Did you tell him?"

"No. I was going to talk to James in a few days, once I was a hundred percent sure, but now this has happened."

"So tell him."

"Amy, now is not the time for me to be telling the Doctor how I feel. I'm trying to process all of this and honestly, I have no idea how or what I should feel right now. I may not have loved James, but I did care for him very much and given different circumstances, I'm sure I would have fallen in love with him. I miss him, Amy." Clara's eyes started to well. "But then at the same time I see the pain the Doctor is in and my heart breaks. He just got his brother back and they were going to work at getting their relationship back to where it should have been. They were both robbed of that and it tears my heart out knowing that he has lost his other half."

Clara's tears started to flow and Amy moved over to hold her friend as she too started to cry.