Hello there! Thank you for the reviews, I love them!

Guest, do not worry, I love your reviews too much to care about whether they're late or not ^^ (which they can't be, you have no obligations to review after all ; although I love your reviews, so please continue ^^) I'm sorry for how the last chapter made you feel, but as least it means I wrote it well.

I cannot promise to publish one new chapter every week, but for a while, I should be able to publish one every two weeks.

Now, here is the new chapter, I hope you'll enjoy it!

Chapter 11

Roses On The Wall

« So when I'm crying alone

Yeah, when I'm cold as a dying stone

Grow me a garden of roses »

Poets of the Fall, Roses

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

On this bright morning day, warmth escaped Anna-Grace. The blond lady was staying by the window in the kitchen, while Bruce ate breakfast, a cup of coffee in her hand. The sun rays were playing shadows on her face, the cup was warming her hands, but warmth would only reach her body, not her heart, leaving her cold inside. She recognized the symptoms, she had experienced the cause : a dark pit of whirling thought imprisoned her mind. As much as she tried to push her burdens away, one would always find a way to haunt her: Bruce and his past, Bruce and his time problem, Bruce and her, Bruce and school, Bruce and normal life, Him, Him and her, Him and Bruce… Her past solution, to shut it all out, was slowly losing its efficiency.

Moreover, Bruce looked unusually tired, and had been for a while; despite putting him to bed early last night, his smiles still lacked enthusiasm. His weariness only added to the fog of worries surrounding Anna-Grace. And she had to be the responsible adult here, one step away from the solution, dazed by nothing!

As if this wasn't enough, more walls collapsed between her and Peter, Rosie or even Natalie meant more headaches about what to hide, when to hide, why to hide…

The matter was in fact quite simple: she didn't know what to do.

While dressing up the thought nagged at her. While getting Bruce ready, she kept coming back to it. While coming down to the lobby, her incompetence was all she could think of. She didn't know what to do. At the counter, her smile and cheering voice on the outside could not transform the reality inside: she didn't know what to do.

She didn't want to lose Bruce. She feared... Shaking her head, Anna-Grace looked around at the lobby hoping to find a friendly face. But when she only encountered emptiness, the lifeless body of Bruce's mother, broken and bloody, came back to her with violence, bringing her mind to grounds too unsafe for her sanity. She really DID not want to imagine any of this, how and why Bruce's mother might be dead, because Anna-Grace knew all too well the statistics, she was one of the number. And it only added the question of the father...

She sighed, for the umpteenth time, closing her eyes for a couple of seconds. She hated how she felt, lost under the weight of her emotions. It prevented her from reasoning, as if she was a weak and sentimental woman affected solely by her hormones, like her husband always snarled at her.

But I'm not weak, she suddenly remembered, her eyes on all the lobby's details she had learned to love: the worn out armchairs, the aging wooden floor, the creaking stairwells. I am not who He always said I was. I fought back. I escaped. I made it to Neverland. I'm taking care of Bruce.

She observed the kid next to her, contemplating the proof of her strength and the source of it all. He was seating directly on the counter, drawing, his tiny ducks on his left. Replaying in her mind this morning's scene, when he had insisted on taking them with him, the weird sensation that something was off suddenly weighed on her. Ever since she had offered him the plastic animals, they had barely left his side at home while he had rarely wanted to take them with him outside. She couldn't discern if it was because he wanted someone or something to wait for him at home, or a reason to come back, but his insistence this morning had been unusual. However, it was only when she looked at the drawings and pencils she noticed the odd occurrence that truly bothered her: he had left the green duck at home and the green pencil laid abandoned on the counter. Although green was not his favorite color, it had never prevented him from using it.

And he wasn't making a noise. His shoulder were tensed, and he was avoiding her eyes. She suddenly realized she had been so focused on her distress she had missed the evident signs of his. How can you be so blind? Of course he's scared! He's just a kid, and he's going through so much… Guilt at her carelessness and will to atone in her heart, she carefully rubbed his hair. The little kid turned his face towards her, the dark rings around his eyes screaming at her, and she asked him if he was alright. His eyes opened wider as he nodded, but he left his drawings to come closer, under her arm.

Relieved at this, she smiled and embraced his body as it slumped against her, in search of human contact. His small frame released the tension it was holding on, its warmth invading Anna-Grace's body. As she relished in the embrace, she sensed how they both gave up on stress. Her lips on his head, taking on his so unique smell, she once again marveled at his resilience. He's going through so much, and a hug is all he asks for… As long as I can give it to him, and it proves to be enough, things cannot be that bad… If only she could find a way to anchor him in a more normal life… School was out of the question, or any official facility, as it would bring too much attention upon them. Her fake papers were meant for leaving the country, not living in it, and would never survive prolonged attention. Moreover, Bruce would never fit in a normal school, between his amazing intelligence and his difficult life. He possessed such a rich mind, such a good heart…

In the midst of all those reflexions, Anna-Grace needed a break. She was thus extremely glad to hear Natalie's voice wishing them a good day. The client was welcomed with a sincere smile, but it grew even more when Bruce overcome his worries with joy after setting his eyes on his third favorite lady. The « mother » then more at peace, at least for a while, the atmosphere in the room changed to contentment. Easy chatter started and filled the lobby, the clock ticking by, no one noticing nor caring. At the end of their discussion, Anna-Grace and Natasha had « discovered » they both loved reading historical fictions, and if the Black Widow was only pretending to enjoy books as much as her friend did, they both related on loving the escape it provided in troubled times.

While the « Williams » family was getting close to Natasha, so were they to Rosie and Peter. Was it the emptiness in the own old friends' lives that made them so hungry for Anna-Grace and Bruce's presence? Or how honest they could be around the child?

Indeed, Peter and Rosie were that kind of people you see but do not notice. Always there, when everything around them is moving. Alone, because their family is long dead or long estranged, with sometimes a relative they never really cared about and that in consequence doesn't really care about them now.

On the contrary, Bruce and Anna-Grace had lost, one his world, the other her dreams, and were now in a recovering phase. Despite all the hardships they were going through, they finally had relative peace and happiness compare to what they endured before, which made them extremely grateful for each day that came and went by. Their openness about life, their hunger for what was to come despite the past horror, their hope for a brighter future, even well hidden, could only attract lonely and observing persons like Peter and Rosie.

Moreover, after another conversation about Peter and Rosie's relationship, Bruce and Anna-Grace had decided first, the situation was ridiculous, second, their friends needed a little help. So they tried to be with them as much as they could, to diffuse any unnecessary tension. Of course, it wasn't enough to stop arguments, as Peter and Rosie both loved to pester against the world - God knew the world needed people to say what was wrong in it - and considered debates a joy or even an expression of affection. But all in all, Anna-Grace and Bruce managed to spot which harsh word had been hurtful or which anger expressed frustration, thus helping their friends to move on forward, and hopefully in the right direction.

However, what Anna-Grace had not foreseen was that, unlike Natasha who knew what was going on, and where all the Lorien's family weirdness came from, Rosie and Peter didn't know what had happened to the mother and child, and were of a natural curious nature.

Peter had already guessed his employee was in a difficult situation and had decided, when he offered her the job, to respect her privacy and let her confide in him if she wanted to one day. Indeed, his laziness combined with his old school manners often counterbalanced his inquisitiveness. But Rosie wasn't the same. No, she was an active woman, who wouldn't take no for an answer, and whose curiosity often led her to try to find out the truth anytime she smelt a mystery.

So, on a Saturday evening, when Rosie wondered for the umpteenth time why Bruce didn't call Anna-Grace « mom », she decided to plainly ask. She and Peter had been invited over for tea after dinner, and she was drying the dishes washed by Anna-Grace. Bruce had just asked « AG » if he could show his new trucks to Peter, and after the positive answer had left for his bedroom with the older man.

Putting her foot in it, Rosie said:

- « Why doesn't Bruce call you Mom? He never did while I was with you, or talking about you. »

Anna-Grace didn't have a justification lined up. She never really thought about what people would say seeing a child alone with a woman he didn't call his mother because who could notice and be phased by it? And to think ahead of a reply was not in her capacity, considering where in her mind and memories those thoughts led her.
She wasn't his mother! Well, he was her son, but it wasn't the same. Was it?

And Bruce already had a mother, or at least had had one, it wasn't like she could take her place. Feeling something tug at her heartstrings at that idea, like every time she even had a glimpse of a thought about the subject of motherhood, she quickly cleared her head, and turning away from the sink to avoid Rosie's eyes, gave the only answer she could come up with:

- « It's complicated. »

Which always satisfies someone's curiosity, as we all know well.

- « Oh, don't do it like that to me! » joked Rosie.

But when she saw the other woman's restless hands, she understood her friend hadn't been messing around. Which made her want to know even more what was going on, even though she couldn't pry too much. She was going to ask for some pieces of information, trying to come to the subject from another angle, when Anna-Grace was saved by Bruce running to her and showing her a new firetruck offered by Peter, all with the white ladder and the firefighter siren. Peter entered soon after the boy, an explication on the lips, and between the excitation, the ladder show, the background siren sound and an excited but tired little boy that needed to be put in bed, the « mother » didn't have to answer a question she knew she wouldn't like.

However, the question stayed in the corner of her mind all evening, even after she told stories to Bruce and watched him fall asleep. It stayed while she prepared for the night, while she read a book, making it almost impossible for her to concentrate on it. When she finally gave up on trying to read it, the question was still there, and when she went to sleep, it was there still.

When the next morning she woke up to that question, she realized there was no way she could escape this.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Anna-Grace knew there were too many thoughts harassing her around, and that Rosie's question would be the most tenacious. Had she been a normal person, she would've had a coffee with her husband, a relative she was close to, or her best friend. Unfortunately, her parents were far away, she never really had close enough friends to open herself to on private subjects, and as for her husband, she'd rather die now surrounded by spiders and butterflies than to confide in him.

The thing was, having no one to talk to never means not needing to tell someone. Talking about what bothers you can, at the very least, help you deal with it, even if the person you're talking to never gives you a good piece of advice or cannot come up with a way out because there is none.

So, on this Sunday morning, she invited Rosie over for tea for when she and Bruce would come back from Central Park, counting on the boy to be exhausted from all the funny moments with the boys and thus to sleep a couple of hours at least.

She then went through the day in a constant daze of nervousness. As she had planned, Bruce played with Nathan and his brothers - cousins? - for hours, and was exhausted when they came back. While she chatted lightly with Cheery and the others moms, she hoped she was able to hide how nervous she felt about the upcoming conversation, but the way Cheery asked if they would meet next week clearly gave away that Anna-Grace was losing her hand in hiding what she thought or felt. However, touched by Cheery's concern and at the same time by her discretion, she was able to warmly assure the lady of their presence next Sunday. Nathan, who was brooding next to his mother because of the obligation to go, suddenly let out a cry of joy at the news and embraced Bruce while letting out an extremely happy « see you next week, bro! ». Bruce couldn't suppress chuckles, his lips stretching on their own accords at the news. His grin and Nathan extrovert joy brought smiles on Cheery's and Anna-Grace's faces, and a bridge was built between them, made of mutual understanding over the pleasure to see one's son's joy, and promising a new friendship.

On their way home, Bruce was thus an extremely chatty and joyful little boy, holding on to Anna-Grace's hand not like he was holding on to the less stressful thing in the world, but more like he knew his happiness might make him fly away if he attached himself to her. This eased his « mother » but at the same time, it brought back all of her worries, and thus her nervousness about the upcoming conversation. Rosie wasn't exactly a friend, but she seemed for Anna-Grace the closest she could think of. Peter trusted her, after all. How much was too much to tell?

It was certain it had been a while since someone had been nice to her as Rosie was, had cared for her as Rosie did. Maybe it had started out of curiosity, but Anna-Grace was sure her client did care for her, even if it was just a little bit. Between Rosie's life experience, her sincerity, and her kindness, the upcoming conversation was bound to be useful, wasn't it?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

When the bell rang, Bruce was sleeping soundly in his bed. Anna-Grace went to the door nervously, her resolution melting. She was glad of her initiative though when she saw Rosie's smile after opening the front door, and a new found determination overcame her. The guest was invited inside and the ladies went to the kitchen while having a casual conversation. Once the scones were ready, they settled down on the sofa, the plate on the table by their side, and cups of tea on their knees. It was only then that they stopped their small talk, as if they had both understood the meeting was not to be meaningless.

Rosie took a sip of her tea, clearly wondering how to phrase her sentences and thoughts, and Anna-Grace couldn't help but look at her hands warming around the cup. She didn't look up when the older woman starting talking:

- « Darling… »

Anna-Grace swallowed, suddenly extremely nervous about having too much to say but nothing to disclose, until a hand came on top of hers, and a soft voice said:

- « First thing first, let's make things straight : if you do not want to talk, we do not have to talk. I know I seem to be the kind of people who never give up, but I can understand the need for privacy. You have no obligations towards me, and you have the right to wish for your private life to remain what it is, private. »

The words and the voice were soft. It gave enough confidence to Anna-Grace for her to examine her new friend, although still uncertain about where to begin and how far to go. However, the old lady was only showing kindness and openness, behind a smile. Anna-Grace wanted more than anything to believe what she was seeing so she started, slowly and hesitantly:

- « It's not that, I do not want to, to talk about it, but, I mean, it's, it's … »

- « … complicated » finished Rosie, comprehensive.

Anna-Grace nodded and took a sip of her tea while her guest sighed heavily, before saying:

- « I know I'm not old enough to be called wise, but I've still had my share of life. I've seen many situations, and unfortunately, singleness coupled with motherhood rarely is simple. »

Laughing awkwardly, the young lady answered:

- « Who said I was single? »

- « Anna-Grace, even if I wasn't spending so much time with you, I would be able to tell you have little time for someone right now. Remember, I've seen many situations. » said Rosie, softly.

Keeping her cup with both hands, the young woman couldn't help but feel the tears come to her eyes, before laughing more freely this time.

- « You're right, I certainly don't have the time for that right now. »

Silence settled between them again, but this time it was a comfortable one, the kind that speaks trust to those who listen. In this serene atmosphere, Rosie was the one to speak first:

- « So? »

- « What are your questions, Rosie? »

- « Are you Bruce's biological mother?"

- « No. »

The quick answer was only confirming something Rosie already knew, obviously. Something that wasn't really a secret either. So, she then looked at the young woman, patiently waiting for her to say whatever she felt ready to unveil. Anna-Grace nodded, appreciating the way the conversation would unfold, allowing her to lead it wherever she wanted, and to go at her own pace.

- « Bruce and I have been leaving together for only a short time now. »

At Rosie sympathetic smile, she felt encouraged to go on.

- « He fell into my care in an, unorthodox way, I should say. »

At Rosie's scrutiny, she added, laughing half-heartedly :

- « I did not kidnap him or anything, of course »

- « I know, Anna-Grace » answered the old lady, taking a sip of her tea with an unexpected calmness around her.

- « You do? » exclaimed the blond lady, surprised, before quickly staring at her hands, half ashamed, half scared at her outburst.

Rosie was still looking at her, silent, and Anna-Grace felt compelled to fill the silence by blurting out:

- « We both have… complicated backgrounds, and I… »

Nibbling on her lips, she tried to express her doubts and issues about the situation without revealing things that were not hers to say, or too dangerous to say for her or Bruce.

- « Is that why he doesn't call you « mom » ? » intervened Rosie.

- « What do you mean? » asked Anna-Grace, unsure.

- « You obviously have established a relationship between you two that goes beyond the simple fostering care. » stated Rosie.

The older woman was looking her in the eye, and Anna-Grace knew this wasn't said out of the blue. It was meant to be a reassurance, to reaffirm Rosie's trust in Anna-Grace, especially after the blond woman's earlier denial.

Looking at her hands around the cup, unable to hold on to the stare, the young woman nodded. She didn't really know what to respond to that.

- « Are your respective backgrounds, and the fact that you just started living together, the reasons behind Bruce not calling you « mom »? » helped Rosie.

- « I think, yes. » answered Anna-Grace hesitantly.

The older woman considered the younger one in front of her like she was trying to solve a puzzle.

- « Anna-Grace, do you want him to call you « mom »? »

This was the question that haunted her dreams ever since she promised him to be there for him. She didn't know. She didn't know! The young woman couldn't reply as she felt herself suffocate under all of that pain, the pain she tried to push aside, the pain killing her from the inside ever since that fateful night. The dreams and fears all came back in a moment, suddenly crushed under the past nightmares again. So many voices inside she didn't know which one to listen to.

- « Anna-Grace?! »

At the alarm in Rosie's voice, Anna-Grace looked at the woman seating in front of her, trying to smile but failing miserably, the tumult in her mind too violent for her to hide. Her sight blurred, and it was only when tears started falling on her cheeks she realized it was because she was crying.

- « Oh, darling… » said Rosie, her voice desolated and yet compassionate. She quickly put her cup of tea on the table to cover the young woman's hands with hers, and slowly rub them with her thumb, trying to insert some calm into the crying lady.

Anna-Grace tilted forward, concentrated on the contact. She was for once thankful of the personal space invasion, leaning on the touch, trying to take a breath with each round made by the thumb on her hand. Closing her eyes, she was able to linked herself with the moment, detaching her from the past and its mistakes. With her newfound composure, she could talk again, taking the time to choose her words carefully:

- « For me, and for Bruce, things are complicated. » How many times do you think you're gonna say that? asked a bitter voice inside her head.

But, opening her eyes to see Rosie's kind face, she was anchored into the present, and ignored the voice to continue, with a slightly less shaking voice:

- « Even if it was good for Bruce, I'm not sure I would be ready to be a mother. Even independently to where I come from, what I left behind… »

She wasn't sure how to finish her phrase so she just ended up sighing, rubbing her eyes to put off the remains of tears and looking at this stupid cup again before putting it on the table, annoyed both at the cold tea and at her messy thoughts.

Rosie used her soft and calming voice again:

- « Why would it not be good for Bruce? He loves you, trusts you. And I am witness to how well you are taking care of him. What would be sufficient reason for you not adopting him? »

To adopt him… This was the last straw on the camel's back for her. All reserve or caution forgotten, she rose up and started walking back and forth at the other side of the table, pouring out all the thoughts that kept haunting her:

- « I don't know what happened to his mother! What if she's dead? » she screamed desperately, before laughing almost hysterically and continuing : « and if she's dead, I'm afraid to know why, to know what happened. Because if I'm right, God! We're in big trouble. There would be the problem with the father, with the police, with Bruce and whatever psychological issues he could have, and how could I help him face this when I myself…!" »

She had to stop, she couldn't continue. She tried again:

- « When I myself… »

But it was too hard. The thoughts were there though. I lost so much. I hate thinking about that night and I cannot go to the police. Bruce's not from here, and I'm not safe, Rosie. What if I take care of him, and I am the reason he's hurt? I would never forgive myself if anything happened to him because he made the mistake to agree to live with me. But she couldn't voice them. She didn't know how.

She looked at Rosie again, despair on her face. And even if we manage to keep it safe, to avoid troubles from Him, he's not from here. What if I have to let him go? Should I try to send him back to the past, knowing it could mean his death? Or him being hurt?

Rosie was watching her, now, desolate but so calm. She wasn't looking at her as if she was crazy, she wasn't looking at her as if she was unsafe. She was looking at her as if she knew something Anna-Grace herself had forgotten. The young woman didn't know why, but it pushed her to pour out what nagged her deep down:

- « I'm not safe, Rosie. But where he is from is not safe either. He could get hurt by staying with me, he could get hurt by being send back, by things I nor he knows or even understands. How can I know what's best for him? »

Anna-Grace was still looking at Rosie, hoping despite all of her instincts that the old lady would suddenly have the answer to everything, that her age would give way to wiseness or some mystical old Indian knowledge.

Rosie studied her hands, careful about how to phrase her thoughts. She rose up slowly, staring at the wooden floor, and came by Anna-Grace's side, before looking her in the eye. Gently, she cupped the young lady's face with her hands, as if to anchor her in the here and now before affirming with a tone leaving no space for doubt:

- « Dear Anna-Grace, just by asking yourself that last question, you are already doing far more, and I think far better, than many, many mothers and fathers I encountered. »

The ex-runaway wanted to cry again, but the words effectively calmed her down. Although she did need to close her eyes for a minute, to let them sink in, she was relieved to feel her heartbeat come back to a normal pace, as she was putting her hands on Rosie's, almost holding on to her. Doubts would certainly come back again later, but at least she would have something to scream at the monsters in her head. Rosie continued, the light joy in her voice back:

- « Moreover, you love Bruce. I know you'll take the right decision even if it means going against your own wishes. » Almost teasingly, and patting on the young lady's cheek before taking Anna-Grace by the hand to lead her to the sofa, she added « I am right or I am right? »

Laughing weakly, the blond woman had to admit the truth behind the tease. If loving Bruce and caring for him meant losing him, she knew she was already ready for this.

- « And I will finish with this: » assured Rosie sententiously, just as she was seating with delicateness after Anna-Grace crumbled on the couch « sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. »

Laying back on the sofa, all matter of politeness forgotten, the young lady only raised her eyebrows, uncertain about the meaning of the phrase. Rosie laughed and answered the unspoken question:

- « It means each day has enough trouble of its own, or there is no need to add to the troubles each day brings. Therefore », as she was serving another cup of tea and handing it to her companion, « deal with the troubles of the day, and it will all unfold as it was meant. »

Sipping her tea, Anna-Grace meditated on those indeed wise words, as she at last felt more peaceful. Life was crazy right now, but with each day, she knew she could make sure Bruce had his share of happiness and love until they couldn't stay together. Promising this to herself, and even though she didn't feel like straitening on the sofa, she was able to look at Rosie and smile at her friend with a new inner strength.

The end of the afternoon was spent talking about many things but their previous conversation, enjoying this opportunity to learn more about each other. Later on, Bruce woke up, and Peter arrived with a dessert. Anna-Grace didn't have to invite her guests over for dinner, it being the natural continuation of the afternoon. They talked for hours, enjoying the time together. When Rosie told them, finally, how she and Peter had met, making Bruce laugh to tears, the smile she exchanged with the other lady was one of comprehension, mutual promise and more than all, the premise of the beginning of a strong friendship. It left Anna-Grace blessing, once more, the day she had met her son.