Chapter 7:
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It has been two days since Astrid broke down in front of Hiccup and since then, none of them talked about it. Mostly because Hiccup didn't see Astrid during this time laps.
She didn't show up for his training and didn't even warn him. It's only when he went to ask Claire that he learned she called sick and stayed home. He was wondering if she was avoiding him and feared the awkwardness between them. It was crazy and he didn't think that was Astrid's style. But what if it was?
Too many questions and wonder filled his mind so he decided to go talk to the principal concern. He was about to go see Astrid at her place. Although he didn't know her address and he couldn't drive on his own yet.
••••••••••
His father dropped him at the gym, as usual that day. He knew Astrid wasn't going to be there but he didn't tell his dad. The last thing he wanted was to stay put in his house and just turning around and around, bored as hell.
The first weeks after his surgery were terrible and the loneliness was so hard to handle. Even if his sister was calling him everyday, the rest of the day was awful. Staring at his fake leg became a nightmare and he had nothing to distract his mind except video games. All these days by himself also were the reason why he felt so useless and so depressed. Closing yourself from the world has definitely an impact on your mood. Until his doctor finally told him he was ready for re-education. He was excited but once surrounded by other people than his family, his excitement got lost and all he could think of was just how horrible he must have looked, in this wheeling chair, attracting all the pity looks on him. Gods that he wanted to just hide and disappear. He never had missed his room so bad back then.
But now he was grateful. He was able to walk with crutches and not rolling in some chair. He was a bit more free and so glad he could stand again. And it was thanks to Astrid.
But now she wasn't there and he knew something was wrong with her. Her breakdown felt so sudden and surprising. She always seemed confident but when Hiccup saw her shaking and her pale face that morning, the main thing he could distinguish was the distress. He never thought she could lose it and panic that much. That was another thing she hide pretty well, just like her family story. He wanted to be her friend. Sure it was soon to say they were best friends but he hoped they could at least be a bit closer and that she could trust him.
Hiccup waved goodbye to his dad and watched his car drove away. He sighed and got inside the gym. He instantly got welcomed by Claire.
-"Hey Hayden. I'm sorry Astrid's not here today but I got appointed to your training if that doesn't bother you?", Claire smiled.
-"Oh. Okay.", Hiccup nodded.
Claire nodded back and was about to go the employees lockers but Hiccup cut her short in her tracks.
-"Wait hold on!", Hiccup called, he marched with the help of his crutches toward her and swallowed, "Do you know where Astrid lives?"
-"Uh yeah. Why?", Claire raised an eyebrow.
-"Okay. How about we skip this training and go to see her?", Hiccup proposed.
-"Uh I don't know. Nancy isn't there yet and the gym is going to open in 30 minutes. I can't leave.", Claire sighed.
-"Oh. I see. Well that's okay.", Hiccup smiled sadly.
Claire watched him go to the back room and couldn't help feel a bit guilty. He obviously cared a lot about Astrid and she was happy that Astrid finally had a kind and sweet guy looking out for her. She bite her nail and tried to think of something.
-"Hey Claire!"
Claire jumped and turned back, just so she could face her interlocutor.
-"Toby! You're-"
She stopped in her words.
There was her solution!
••••••••••
-"Thanks Toby for driving me there.", Hiccup thanked the guy in the driver seat next to him.
-"Oh no problem pal! Astrid is an awesome friend! If I can help you making her feel better, count on me!", Toby did a thumb up to Hiccup.
Claire had asked Toby if he could bring Hiccup to Astrid and the round guy directly accepted. They were now on the road to Astrid's apartment and it's only 15 minutes later that they got there. It was still early and Astrid was probably still sleeping. So Toby went with Hiccup to her door and like they expected, it was locked and she wasn't answering the door. Fortunately, Toby had a copy of her key since the time she and Heather went on vacation. Astrid had asked him if he could fed Stormfly and that's how he ended up with the double of her key.
Toby opened up and with Hiccup, they got inside. The apartment was a mess. The dishes were piling in the sink. Pizza boxes were covering the small table. Clothes were in the washing machine but it wasn't turned on.
-"Wow, she must feel really bad. She hates having a messy place.", Toby whispered.
Toby switched the living room light on and went to Stormfly's cage. Meanwhile, Hiccup just observed the said place. It was messy indeed but still nice. The living room had a regular gray couch resting on a white fluffy carpet. The TV set was in front of it and next to the window, put on a small table with multiple shelves filled with dvds. The kitchen was small but apparently looked pretty much functional with a microwave, an oven and a washing laundry machine. There was a small diner table, the one with the pizza boxes, close to the counter that was separating the kitchen from the rest of the main room. Stormfly's cage was in the corner and another shelf was resting next to it with a few frames and books on it. Some of the frames were laying down tho, which made Hiccup question.
-"Who's there?!", a feminine voice called.
-"It's Toby! Don't worry dear!", he called back.
Toby gestured to Hiccup to follow him upstair. It was probably leading to her bedroom.
Of course, because of his crutches, he went way slower than Toby. But he could still here him and Astrid talking.
-"What the hell are you doing here? And how did you get into my apartment?!", Astrid exclaimed.
Toby turned the key between his finger.
-"Errrr! Remember me to take these away from you.", Astrid groaned.
Hiccup finally reached the top of the stairs and saw only pieces of blond hair coming out from under the big blue grayish blanket.
The bedroom wasn't that big. Just enough place for her bed and a big closet. The bathroom was on the left. Clothes were pilling by the bed's feet and there was some cookies papers all around her nightstand.
-"Relax girl, we are here just to check up on you. I even brought you soup.", Toby smiled, putting the plastic bag with the still hot soup in it, on her nightstand.
-"Oh. Thanks.", Astrid thanked, "Wait, who is « we »?", she titled.
Toby grinned and pointed with his head toward Hiccup. Then Hiccup watched the thick blanket open and finally saw Astrid's face underneath. Her hair was down and all over the place. She had big bags under her eyes and her said eyes were really red. Hiccup waved with a smile at her before she groans again and put the cover back on her head.
-"What are you doing here?", Astrid asked Hiccup, even if he couldn't see her.
-"Well, like Toby said, to check up on you.", Hiccup smiled.
Toby leaned down closer to Astrid and murmured.
-"He's actually the one asking to come to see you. He was really worried.", he winked before leaning back up, "Welp, I'm going to the gym and I'll come pick you i again.", he said to Hiccup before heading to the stairs.
Astrid sat up in a swift.
-"Wait, you're not staying?!", Astrid asked a bit confused.
-"Well, I have a diet to take care of.", he patted his belly.
-"You've given up on your diet years ago.", Astrid furrowed her eyebrows.
-"Meeh.", Toby shrugged and left.
-"Wait Toby-"
The front door slammed.
A silence settled in the bedroom, living Hiccup and Astrid in an awkward situation. Astrid blinked and swallowed before going back under her sheets. Hiccup sighed and rested his crutches against the wall before jumping on his good foot toward the bed. He sat at Astrid's feet and cleared his throat.
-"So. You're sick uh?", Hiccup started.
He saw the sheets moving, proving she nodded at his question.
-"What do you have exactly?"
-"A cold.", her voice was muffled.
-"Hm. A cold. Uh, weird. I don't see tissues or a cough syrup around.", Hiccup grinned.
He felt Astrid tensing.
-"I don't need those.", Astrid said.
-"Right.", Hiccup chuckled.
Astrid didn't move. He sighed and decided to kneel on the floor and crawl next to her face to see her. She had her blanket till her nose and her eyes were even redder once closer. Bangs of hair were making a curtain on her eyes but Hiccup still could see that distress he saw in them last time. He tried to be bold and reached for her hair and pushed it aside. Astrid blinked and looked up at him, surprised at the sudden move.
His eyes were full of worry and his smile didn't look that happy.
-"Astrid. Tell me the truth. Are you avoiding me?", Hiccup asked lowly.
Astrid blinked again and pushed the blanket under her chin.
-"What?! No! Why would I?!", Astrid gasped at his statement.
-"Well, it feels like it. Since you broke down in front of me, I stopped knowing about you. You didn't even send me a message about you cancelling the training.", Hiccup admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.
-"Gods, no! I'm not avoiding you at all. I.. Well yeah I wish I could avoid what happened and I regret breaking down in front of you but you helped me. So why would I try to avoid you?", Astrid tried a small smile, his worry making him so cute.
Wait, what did she just think?
-"Then why didn't you come to the trainings?", Hiccup asked again.
-"Because I was sick.", Astrid said again.
-"Astrid. We both know it's not true.", Hiccup sighed.
-"Yes it is.", Astrid insisted.
Silence.
-"Why did you cry?", Hiccup spoke again.
-"Wh- I didn't cry!", Astrid defended.
-"Sure. Try again.", Hiccup rolled his eyes.
-"I.. I was watching a sad movie before you arrive.", Astrid turned around and show her back to him.
-"I don't see a tv or a computer in your room.", Hiccup looked around.
-"Gods! Is this some kind of interrogatory or something?!", Astrid suddenly sat up and looked at him annoyed.
-"I just want to know what's wrong Astrid! I'm your friend remember?", Hiccup exclaimed in defense.
Astrid stayed quiet. Hiccup swore he saw her lip quivering before she hide again under her blanket, eyes only in view. Hiccup sighed and leaned closer to Astrid, reaching her hair with his hand again.
-"Astrid. What's going on? I promise you can tell me anything. Even if we're not that close yet, I can assure you you can trust me.", Hiccup spoke softly this time and really calmly.
He felt Astrid leaning in his touch and she let out a shaky breath.
-"You didn't tell anyone about my breakdown last time?", she asked with a small voice.
Hiccup shook his head and Astrid sighed of relief. She closed her eyes and cracked a sob. Hiccup's heart missed a beat and couldn't help but feeling hurt for her. He knew that broken stare. He had the same for weeks.
-"Is it because of your family?", he tried.
Astrid put the blanket all over her head this time and another sob passed her throat.
-"Kind of?", she mumbled.
Hiccup sat on the bed next to her face without his hand leaving her hair. She inhaled deeply and throw the cover away to sat up. She quickly wiped the corner of her eyes and crossed her arms around her middle.
-"It's been 3 years that I didn't get a single news from my family. They never reached to me and when I'm the one trying, they never answer. I was always the disappointment of the family since I didn't want to be what my parents expected me to be, the daughter who would have taken our family industry after my dad. But my younger sister decided to go for it and apparently she likes it a lot. So she became my parents's proud, forgetting about me. When I moved out from our house, they weren't even there to help me or even say goodbye. They never liked the fact I wanted to be a coach. They said it was stupid and I couldn't do it my all life. And after that, they gave up on me. I felt like... a failure?", she broke down, a single tear rolling down her cheek, "I don't know why I'm all depressed about it suddenly because I accepted it years ago now. Maybe it's because I saw something reminding them, I don't know. But I hate it. I hate the fact that I don't have a family anymore! I hate the fact that I care so much now when I learned to be fine without them!", she shut her eyes and shook.
Hiccup now understood why her family was such a sensitive subject to talk about. Why she felt sad everytime he was talking about his sister or his parents. Because she didn't have that and it was what she wished for the most. For her own parents to see her efforts and to be proud of her.
Although he was still wondering what she could have seen to remind her her family and to break her down this bad. It was also probably the thing that caused her outburst a few days ago. But he didn't want to push her and to ask any further questions for now. All she needed in this instant was support and comfort.
So he put his arms around her and brought her against his chest, just like last time. He cradled her slowly and as a reflex, he kissed her hair. He didn't know why he did that but it felt like the right thing to do. She didn't bother either, or at least she didn't say anything. She just sobbed silently against his shirt. He felt her arms wrapping around him and holding him tight.
-"I'm sorry Astrid. Really. But know that you have your friends here. We are here for you. I'm sure your parents are still proud of you but they just.. don't show it. Besides, you have your life now. You don't need them. They will regret it someday anyway to not have seen you succeed in your projects. I know I shut my dad's mouth many times when I was able to show him that I was good at what I was doing without him telling me what to do. It even actually felt good.", he felt her chuckling under his arms, "My point is: don't break yourself down for something that's not worth it. You need to move on. Don't let people taking you backward when you are so good at going forward on your own.", Hiccup finished in sweet ton.
Astrid pushed him slowly and looked up straight in the eyes.
-"How are you doing that?", she asked, her cheeks still wet.
-"Whut?", Hiccup raised his eyebrows.
-"How do you get to me?", she asked again.
-"Oh. Well. You said you weren't going to give up on me until I'm walking again. So I'm not going to give up on you either until you are totally feeling better.", he shrugged, giving her a wink.
Astrid smiled that beautiful smile of hers and buried her face again in his shoulder.
-"Thank you.. thank you so much..", Astrid mumbled.
-"No problem.", he leaned his head on hers and closed his eyes.
None of them talked for a while.
They just enjoyed being close and embracing this new now really precious friendship.