And Surprise! Here is a new chapter! :D
I told you, it's Christmas so Merry Christmas! ;) And happy new year in advance!
Thank you Guest for your review! I'm glad you liked the scenes. I'm the same, in fact one of the reasons I'm writing this story is to give Bruce an other and better childhood! ^^ And I'm lucky, I'm surrounding by many kids so it's easy to get ideas even if I might have difficulties in portraying how much energy, patience and time it actually takes to raise a child. But anyway, this is a story so it's okay I guess ^^
Here is the new chapter, enjoy!
Chapter 14
Awakening
- « The Avengers save the day, Again! » was the title of today's newspaper. She had been curious. She had read it. She was stupid.
Anna-Grace dropped her pen on the counter where she slumped. A heavy sigh escaped her body, and she closed her eyes. Surrounded in darkness, she tried to shut out the images coming to her mind. An Iron suit and a shield, arrows and guns, fire, acclamations… Superheros…
She knew, even before meeting Bruce, that she had lived in a bubble, kept away from the world by her husband. She knew it was cracking a little bit more with every smile Bruce offered her, but she hadn't realized how thick it actually was until… well until this freaking newspaper.
And when she thought she had figured it out! When she thought she had imagined everything she could worry about, all the things that could hunt and hurt them, from her husband to Bruce's past! But the quite ordinary object had reopened the gates of anxiety and fear. Learning monsters could have superpowers was not a surprise in itself. After all, she always knew the world was a mad place. Seeing her unbeatable husband coming back from work with a blank look on his face when he usually boasted about everything he did and never refrain on his blows was a sufficient lesson. Learning about superhero was difficult to come around with, because once again, it made her realized how much she had missed since she married that man, especially as apparently Iron Man had been around for a while now. And reading that this team had just saved New York from a mad doctor was crazy. But after all, she knew crazy. She could deal with crazy. Nothing could really surprise her at this point, considering she cared for a 1974 boy.
But, come on! Aliens?! That was beyond crazy!
At least, she had been able to throw the paper away before Bruce saw it. No need to add this to his fears, when he finally seemed to take a break from carrying the world on his shoulders. But still, how was she supposed to protect him in a such a weird world?
- « Mam? »
The voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and Anna-Grace looked in front of her to find Natalie's face in front of her. She drew back hastily, surprised to be so close to the ginger lady without even having heard her arrive. How did she do it? Her client didn't even flinch at the sudden movement, and Anna-Grace tried to come back to herself by addressing her with a teasing voice:
- « Call me Anna-Grace, please. We are past the formal, aren't we? »
- « Yes we are, Anna-Grace. » the light voice answered.
The ginger lady was smiling at her, in a soft kind of way, yet there was something else in that gaze Anna-Grace couldn't quite decipher. Bruce's "mother" soon felt uncomfortable under the benevolent eyes of the lady in front of her. It was as if Natalie knew everything that was going on in her head, which was impossible, wasn't it?
Trying to hide how awkward she felt, the blond lady cleared her voice before asking her possible friend if there was something she could do for her. Natalie replied she wanted to extend her reservation, so Anna-Grace busied herself with the matter at hand. However, she could sense her client's heavy stare on her, which was extremely disturbing.
She glanced at her and noticed how the lady was eying her shaking hands, and Anna-Grace suddenly realized how she looked, from her hands to her messy bun. And because of Aliens?! Ashamed and embarrassed, Anna-Grace couldn't maintain the facade, and the smile fell. Who was Natalie Rushman to be so perspective AND show it? The blond lady focused on the paper, trying to busy herself with the extension instead on thinking about the mystery that was Natalie
- « How is Bruce, Anna-Grace? »
Raising her head, Anna-Grace looked at Natalie. She was surprised at the compassion she saw in her client's - friend's ? - eyes. Usually, those soft eyes were reserved for Bruce. Not that Natalie ever seemed annoyed by the « mother », but Anna-Grace had quickly understood softness from the ginger lady was reserved for very special people, like Bruce.
Feeling even more troubled, Anna-Grace tried to hide those thoughts behind a "He's fine" and a smile, but her voice fell.
She gave a sidelong look at her client, who had a new openness around her. Which was really weird. How could someone show new openness just with her body?
- « Bruce is fine. » she finally was able to say, continuing her business as if nothing had happened.
- « And you? »
AG looked quickly at her client's face before continuing the extension. Natalie looked casual too, but she knew the question had not been meaningless…
- « I'm alright, thank you. And you? »
Even to her ears, Anna-Grace knew she wasn't convincing at all. She still was surprised at what came next:
- « Anna-Grace… »
Looking at her client, the look she received was clear: don't pretend.
- « I do not mean to be intrusive, Anna-Grace, but you seem…upset. »
The blond woman didn't want to talk about aliens or boy being from the past, and the ginger one was obviously trying to be nice, so Anna-Grace opened her mouth to gently change subject. However, she didn't have time as Natalie added quickly and with a certain firmness:
- « And I wish to help you if I can. »
It rendered Anna-Grace speechless. Had she lost the habit of having people caring about her? Or was Natalie just being indiscrete/careless? Because she couldn't remember her past friends ever acting like that….
- « I will not leave until you tell me what's wrong. » warned Natalie.
- « Why do you even care? » asked Anna-Grace, almost laughing. This was getting out of hands. What was going on? Who was this lady?
- « Well, something's wrong, obviously. You cannot tell Bruce, and you didn't tell your friends, which means you don't know how to tell them because you fear their reaction. You need someone like me, who cares about you yet is not so close as to makes future meetings awkward. Who knows? It might even help our relationship, and help you figure out a way to tell your friends. »
There was some truth behind those words. Why not trust her? They got along well after all. She seemed nice enough anyway… And, strangely, she wasn't annoyed at this invasion in her privacy. Maybe because she knew that before Bruce, she would've been afraid maybe even terrorized at letting someone even guess what she felt or thought.
Finishing her papers for the extension, and presenting them to Natalie so she could check, but without looking at her, she offered her client a way out:
- « It's complicated, you know… »
- « So what? It would take time to explain? I have all day long! » answered Natalie, shrugging.
The ginger woman leaned against the counter, not even looking at the extension papers before sliding them back to Anna-Grace, displaying her trust.
Trust has to go both ways, right? thought Anna-Grace, putting the documents away. And it's not like I had to reveal everything…
Hesitantly, she began:
- « It's about Bruce… »
Looking quickly at Natalie was enough to confirm she had her complete attention.
Without going too much into details, notably the not-so-legal parts, Anna-Grace started with an explanation on how Bruce had fallen into her care in an unorthodox way, that she had agreed to take care of him without knowing everything that happened to him. But the more she said, the more she wanted to reveal, drawn in by how Natalie listened, never interrupting her. Anna-Grace ended up saying how the more she knew, the less she felt adequate. She was coming to the part with the newspaper when she realized how stupid that sounded, and how she should've known a long time ago about aliens and superheros. She looked at Natalie, uncertain but the ginger lady then answered the unspoken question :
- « It's the Aliens, isn't it? »
- « What? »
- « You thought you had imagined it all. You thought you were prepared for the worst because you already had at least faced it in your mind. And then you heard about the Aliens. The impossible happened and you're wondering when will it stop? How can I protect the one person I love most in those conditions? »
Anna-Grace couldn't talk again but this time it was out of astonishment. It would've been funny had she not felt so shaken up. How could Natalie read her mind like an open book, decipher it better than herself, and then say the bullet words that would cut through the lies? It was as if Natalie had found the loose thread of who Anna-Grace was, had pulled it only to knit her all again. And then the strange lady smiled in the sweetest way possible. She leaned over, like she was going to share one of the Universe's secrets, and Anna-Grace felt compelled to come closer. Still smiling, Natalie whispered:
- « Anna-Grace, the thing about being a parent is that you're never ready for what comes next. And being a good one isn't about knowing when bad things will happen but how to handle it when it comes. »
This was not what Anna-Grace expected. She almost was disappointed.
- « That's it? That's your solution? To wait here for everything to fall apart? For Bruce to be hurt? »
- « No » was Natalie's calm answer. « You prepare Bruce for what is to come the best you can, which is by giving him unconditional love. »
- « Really? Love? Like, the power of love? Isn't it a little bit cliché? We're not in a movie or a novel, Nathalie. » said Anna-Grace, bitterly. « Come on, in which world are you living in? Seriously? »
Natalie stayed silence, and only stared at her. She didn't look in the slightest offended by Anna-Grace's answer, nor did she seem hurt. Anna-Grace didn't know why, but this annoyed her to the point where she lashed out on her client. It certainly was unfair but the bitterness was too much to hold on. She ignored the small voice in her head that begged her not to do something that might cost her one of the only friends she had on this hearth, and she threw all her mixed feelings, her pain and fear and bitterness at the lady in front of her.
- « News Flash, for you Natalie: we do not live in a fairy tale! You're not the wise friend whose advices change the storyline. Bruce is not the hero. I'm not the hero. I'm not strong, I'm not smart, I'm not an extraordinary person that solves all of her loved ones' problems. Trust me. I know. I lived it. I didn't help my family. I didn't help my friends. I'm not a hero, and I won't sacrifice myself for those I love. »
Anna-Grace stopped her rant, breathless, her heart pounding in her chest. Natalie was still there, staring at her, but instead of the reproaches Anna-Grace expected, Natalie only softly said:
- « Really? You wont sacrifice your happiness for Bruce's? »
Anna-Grace dropped her gaze, looking at the counter instead of those eyes that seemed to see all. Natalie sighed, and said:
- « Anna-Grace, come on. We both know the truth. »
The tone in her voice was soft, and Anna-Grace looked up. Natalie was smiling at her tenderly, and Anna-Grace realized she had revealed herself to the lady in a way she almost never did in her life. And Natalie wasn't mocking her, wasn't afraid of her - somehow this seemed impossible anyway - and wasn't repealed by her. They were still close, and Natalie kept staring at her, expecting something from her. She wasn't smiling anymore but there was still warmness in her stand.
Anna-Grace diverted her eyes and looked at her hands, entwined. Silence filled the air while Natalie waited patiently for the blond woman to ponder the words exchanged.
It was a strange situation, the one Anna-Grace suddenly find herself in. Natalie was waiting for an answer she already knew, but she wasn't just waiting for the words to be spoken. She was waiting for Anna-Grace to actually believe them. And Anna-Grace knew, somehow, that she could not give them lightly. Because not only was Bruce's happiness on the line, but Natalie's trust also was.
And it seemed as if all was mixed, as if Bruce's safety, his happiness, Anna-Grace's trust in her own confidence and her love for the child all needed Natalie's trust. Maybe it was so because to gain Natalie's trust needed a promise, when such promise was for Anna-Grace the first step. To be bound by her words was a requirement before she could believe in her capacity to love Bruce unconditionally, to love him no matter what happened to him, no matter what happened to their relationship, no matter if he was taken away form her.
Natalie was still waiting, and when Anna-Grace looked her friend in the eye, she could see how Natalie was daring and testing her at the same time. And surprisingly, it felt so simple for Anna-Grace, she was surprised it took her so long to realize it. She smiled softly, and said:
- « You are right. I will love Bruce unconditionally. »
She had never, not even when she had said yes to the man who then destroyed her life, felt like she was taking an oath while stating a simple truth.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Secured text from Nat to the Cap. and Eye-Patch : « Everything is under control out here, Bosses. The lady's trust towards me is growing, and the boy loves me already. »
Eye-Patch's reply : « Good job Nat. Stay put. »
Cap's reply : « Glad to hear that Nat. Do you think we can trust her? »
Text from Nat to Cap : « I have no doubt about it. She fell in love with Baby Bruce and would do anything for him. »
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The nightmares had lessened and his mood had lightened because Bruce felt safe at Neverland. But then, the Christmas lights appeared, and all the bad thoughts and bad dreams came back.
On this Wednesday evening, Bruce had been siting at the living room's window for hours, watching those awful lights slowly illuminate the city. Last year, they were like a door open to fairytales, ready to pour out in his spirit tales of kings fighting to save their kingdom from everlasting darkness. But last Christmas had been a disaster and the lights only brought back the fear and sadness that had been his reality for so long.
However, looking inside the apartment towards Anna-Grace cooking in the kitchen was worse because it only reminded him of all that scared him, and above all the fear to lose her.
Closing his eyes, and sighing once more, he let his head rest on the cold window. In this false darkness, he focused on the sounds he heard : the cars outside, voices coming and going by, his heart beating, Anna-Grace's voice, Mommy humming…
Like a car wreck, Mommy's and Anna-Grace's lifeless faces flashed behind his eyelids. Suddenly opening them, he looked at the kitchen, almost certain to find his savior on the ground, red purring out of her head, like a memory that wasn't real, only to see the only person he trusted on this earth washing the dishes, blond hair, suds and smile tangled in an air of normality. He was so lucky to have met her and yet feared so much for her life…
She must've sensed something was wrong, again, because she stopped smiling at him and cut the flow of water. He diverted his eyes, looking at the book in his hands instead. He heard her wiping her hands and throwing the tissue on the table, before feeling her seating next to him. She cuddled him and said:
- « I know it's been hard lately bambino, and I don't want to force things out of you, but I hate to see you like this. And I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. »
She was looking at him now, her hand on his cheek, her eyes looking right into his. She seemed so calm and certain as if fear could not hold its grip on her. She was surrounding him with a cloud of reassurance, and he knew she was reliable.
- « I'm scared, AG. » he heard his voice say, and it was like a yoke had been lifted from his shoulder.
She said nothing, only took him on his lap, and he realized the Neverland he had been dreaming about was actually, right there, in her arms. Feeling better, his head on her chest, he listened to her slow heartbeat. With each beat, it was like a shot of understanding slowly surrounding him, then touching his bones through his skin. He closed his eyes, and let the understanding go deeper. As it touched his heart, Bruce felt like he was in the middle of a calm sea. And far far away, a typhon opened, a ship flying to the surface. Circling around the typhoon, a voice rose there, its tone shaking. The voice slowly said: I-I'm s-scared, too… Bruce was on an island. His toes and fingers locked into the sand, and his eyes closed, Bruce answered the voice from the ship: I know.
The ship was on the shore now, as if an other kind of understanding had been passed between the voice and him. A little green person was in front of him, sweet, small and scared. The voice came out of him and said: T-Tell her. She-she has a right to know. Be-better give her a chance to-to leave if she wan-wants to.
Tell her what? About the dream? Or about you?
… b-both… finished the green boy, eyes filled with fear.
Bruce opened his eyes and looked at Anna-Grace. The sea was gone, as were the ship and the island. But the green boy was still there somewhere, as terrified as he was right now. So he told Anna-Grace about everything, and she never interrupted her. Not when he told her how sometimes he would have weird memories, that weren't really memories, or how he had nightmares. Nor when he told her about the voice, how it came when he had been scared at the carousel, and angry at the park. He then told her about how the voice belonged to a green boy in his head, and her arms tightened around him. Bruce felt his heartbeat quicken while the green boy got restless. They had a knot in their stomach, waiting for their savior to say something.
- « W-What's » Anna-Grace began with a shaky voice before clearing her throat and saying « what's the voice's name, Bambino? »
What is you name? asked the child in his mind to the green boy.
Said boy replied with an uncertain answer, which Bruce delivered literally to Anna-Grace.
- « He thinks it's Hulk? », she repeated, surprised and unsure to have heard it correctly. She had never felt so inadequate.
- « It's what the voice said » her boy stated, looking at her.
- « Well, then, hum, hi, Hulk. »
The green boy let out a small cry, and a peace Bruce didn't know to need replaced an anger he didn't know was there. He leaned closer to this strange lady, closing his eyes to see the green boy's face, mirror of what they both felt inside. He had to say it her, so he did:
- « We love you, AG. »
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Later that night, after Bruce - and Hulk - were in bed, Anna-Grace thought again about those revelations. She was in the shower, trying to assimilate all that happened. Nightmares about monsters. Hulk. A voice in his head. Hulk. Her heart decided it was enough thinking and went crazy, trying to beat as fast a train. Her shaking hands followed the rhythm, as did her uneven breath. Millions of questions spiraled in her head, all unanswered and all the more terrifying in front of her incompetence. She had to put her head in her hands, her back to the wall, to try to force her breath to a normal rhythm. But the rock band refused to stop the play, and she crashed on the shower's floor, defeated.
Her mind was blank, tears descending freely, at last. The only feeling left was terror for Bruce's future, and this terror was on a level she had never known in her life. She was familiar with the kind, of course, as it was the same she felt before the incident with him. But even then, it had never jumped so high on the terror scale. But she understood why. After all, before the incident, the Worst also meant a relief, even if she survived it and became a ghost of who she had been. But today, the Worst would not destroy her. It would destroy him, Bruce, her boy, and That she didn't know how to survive it. She didn't even know if she wanted to survive it, and at the same time, she didn't care. All she cared about was Bruce, and she was terrified of what could happen to him. She was terrified of the Worst happening to him. She was terrified because she didn't know what was the Worst.
It was only when the water started getting colder, thirty minutes later, that she realized how long she had been here. This was enough to shoot her out of her daze, and she left the bathroom to dress for the night. The numbness and the fatigue cooled the terror, but when she turned off the lights and lied in her bed, even that wasn't enough to stop her from thinking over and over about what Bruce had just revealed. She turned in her bed, and then turned over again, her thoughts a mess. She didn't know why she had answered Bruce the way she had, or even why she hadn't completely freak out about all of this in front of him. Sure, her hands would shake sometimes while she helped him put on his pajamas, her vision would blur while reading him a story, her breath would get uneven while kissing him good night, but overall, she was able to lie him down in his bed without falling down, passing out or screaming out. Which was a good thing, she thought in her daze. Bruce certainly didn't need her to freak out. Not now that he had trusted her with such a news. A little green boy in his head called Hulk… Remembering his face when Bruce had told her about the voice, remembering how terrified he had looked, Anna-Grace suddenly rolled over in her bed and put her head into her pillow. She hated how twisted her stomach became in front of Bruce's terror. She knew she was utterly lost. Which strangely, she chuckled half bitterly, half mad, makes things easier. In my situation, having Bruce with me was crazy. To discover that he's from 1974 was beyond understandable. Now, this is so out of even crazy that it makes sense. Of course he has weird memories, he's from 1974. And this Hulk is surely link to whatever happened to him. I mean, 1974. Something weird had to have happened. 1974. Hulk. A boy in his mind called Hulk. A voice in his mind called HULK!
Rolling over once more, she looked at her ceiling, tears falling from her eyes at a slow and steady flow. The numbness was still there, clouding her jugements and thoughts, leaving her with this one thought : she was lost, she was caring for a little lost boy, and she loved him like she imagined she would've loved her baby. There, said it, in the open. I love him like I loved my baby. So, now what?
Indeed, now what? The terror was still there, under the tiredness and the numbness, and she knew it would be there the next day. But what could she do? She was so ill equipped to deal with a Bruce and a Hulk. She wasn't sure loving him, loving them, unconditionally would be enough, no matter what Natalie said. Anna-Grace only hoped it wasn't mental illness…
Drifting away, her thoughts mingling together as she was falling asleep out of exhaustion, Anna-Grace couldn't help but feel like she was missing something, something big. Something enormous even. Something having to do with B… scientists … science … sky … high … smash…Hulk… Why does smash makes me think of Hulk? was her last conscience thought as she fell to the other side of consciousness.
I know it's kind of a twisted gift, but still, it had to end this way...
I hope you still enjoyed those chapters, tell me what you thought!