Hello dear readers! I hope you are doing well and that you'll enjoy this chapter :)

Just a quick but important news : I plan on changing this story's title. "Une Lueur dans la nuit or how two lives collided" is a terrible title, sorry about that...

After I publish this chapter, it will become "How to Raise a Hulk"! I hope you like the change ;)

Guest : I'm always happy to read your review no matter when you post it! :) Haha, I didn't think people would disagree with the relocating. But don't worry, the Neverland crew (as you put it so well) won't go anywhere anytime soon ;)

And now here is the new chapter!

Chapter 20

Thinking Like a Mother

"AG, why is Peter always grumpy?"

The question surprised Anna-Grace. She raised her head from her book to look at her boy, in the "pancake" position as she liked to call it, all limbs sprawled on the floor and a pen in his hands. His brown eyes fixed on her, sheets of paper surrounded him, some with drawings and other blanks. As usual when she had the chance to witness such a scene, warmth spread into her body from and to her heart and she forgot the question.

It must've been a habit of hers lately, because Bruce patiently kept his chocolate eyes on her face, waiting for her to come out of her daze. Suddenly remembering her Bambino had asked her something, she blushed and asked him to repeat his question.

"Why is Peter always grumpy?" he quietly said again, as if nothing weird had just happened.

Smiling partly because of his patience and reaction, partly because of the question, she asked him to clarify his thoughts.

"He's always pest… pestiring… pestering about something wrong. But he never says everything is fine."

"It's just the way he is. You know he's not unhappy, don't you?"

Bruce frowned and looked at the sheet of paper in front of him, as if the problem was there, written. She didn't understand the why behind his question. Bruce was smart, so smart, she had learned to wait for the deeper meaning to be revealed behind even the simplest question. Sometimes, she understood right away what he meant, sometimes she knew the questions to ask to clarify his thoughts. But sometimes, as now, she had no idea what was going on in his amazing brain. So she waited, as she usually did, for him to sort out his thoughts and explain what was bothering him.

The silence grew in the living room, letting the sounds from the outside world fill it. Cars driving by and voices could be heard, but the main source of noise was the April rain pouring on the windows. Six months ago, the silence would've become tense, as her uneasiness crept and her insecurities screamed at her it was her fault they couldn't communicate, she couldn't get through to him. But now she knew better, she had learned how he behaved. She knew she could wait. He would tell her, he would find the words like she did when she tried to explain difficult facts or feelings to him.

Eventually, he said, still frowning:

"He has Neverland. He has a home, and he can do what he loves to do with his time. He has Rosie. He has you. He has me. He has a family, right? So why is he always grumpy?"

He was looking at her expectantly, so she hesitantly said:

"Being happy and being joyful are two different things, Bruce…"

"But… I… I was…" His eyes looked down from her face to his drawing. There was a confusion and sadness on his face that wasn't there before. This wasn't just about finding the right words, it was about actually saying them… Her heart aching, she leaned forward, softly saying,

"Yes, Bambino?"

The surname seemed to stir things inside, but not the good kind like it usually did. Staring at his drawing with eyes lost somewhere she couldn't see, he quietly said:

"I lost things."

Words abandoned her, as his own struck her like a knife in the heart. He softly continued, musing, "some of what I lost was bad, so it's better now. Like Daddy. But some of it was good." He paused then whispered "like Mommy."

She blinked, holding back tears as her old friend the sadness wave invaded her body. She didn't know what to say. What could she reply anyway? But Bruce surprised her, once again, and added as if he hadn't shared such a deep secret:

"But now I have Neverland. I have a home, a safe place. I have Rosie and Peter."

He was looking at her like it explained everything. Her face must've plainly said otherwise because he added, partly shyly, partly like an evidence:

"I have you".

She blushed, her eyes watering for a different reason now.

"How could I cry for Mommy and enjoy being with you? How can I be sad because Mommy isn't here, and be happy because you are?"

"Well, those are not opposites. You can be sad and happy, it's okay. It's normal." she said softly, touched despite herself.

"Yes," he answered, unconvinced, "but if I only think about how I miss Mommy and how I want to see her, and how I miss the way she sang, the way she smiled at me, the way she said my name, I cannot think about how I'm happy with you, I cannot think about how I like your smile, or the way you read to me at bedtime, or the way you cook!"

The confession of his love for her was not what she was expecting from this conversation. She found herself unable to answer him, deeply moved. Moved in ways that happened with him more often than in all the 27 years of her life combined before meeting him. In the time she needed to process and formulate an answer, he had already started again:

"I can't think at the same time about how I miss Mommy, and how I'm happy with you. The thoughts can be real close, but they can't be simus…silmi… silmustanly…simultaneous! And like Mommy used to say, I can then decide which thought to continue thinking about. If I want to be sad, I can think about how I miss Mommy, but if I want to be happy, I have to think about how I'm glad you're here with me."

Survival. That was the word she was looking for. Bruce was explaining how he had survived his father, the fear and pain that came with him, and the loss of his mother and world. She was dumb struck by his resilience, and amazed at the woman who had taught him at such a young age a lesson many adults, including herself, learned late, too late, or even never. It wasn't the key to happiness, but it certainly was one of them.

"So," concluded Bruce, "why is Peter always grumpy?"

She laughed, amazed at her boy, and honored to have been let in on his thoughts process and way of life. She didn't really know what to say, so she thought about it then said, hoping it would suffice:

"Because some people, despite being desperately happy, choose to focus on what they do not have, what is wrong in their life, no matter how small it is, instead of focusing on what is going right."

"Really?"

"Yes, Bambino."

To realize that he was wiser than older people always was weird for him, she knew, but with his life experience, how could he not be wiser?

While Bruce sensibly decided this was weird and not worth an evening of mumble-jumble thoughts that could instead be spent on deciding how to draw the best castle for the Ducks' King, Anna-Grace thought about Natasha, the Avengers, Bruce, and maybe having to move out…

She knew there wasn't much she could do if the Avengers decided to execute their decision, but she was the closest person to Bruce right now, so her voice had to count. At least a little bit. She could weigh in, maybe even change their decision. She only needed to make hers based on what was best for Bruce, that was all… But what was the right decision?

Arguments had been exchanged in the back of her head, back and forth, for a while now but she hadn't been able to reach a satisfying conclusion. She had only succeeded in putting her indecision on hold to focus on the task ahead.

Yet, that evening, once Bruce fell asleep after his usual bedtime story, the apartment silent save for her soft humming, the arguments went back in full force. She tried to plan the week, to cook, to read, to clean but Natasha's eyes came back to her every time, the way they had looked at her when she had snapped at Bruce, without any trace of anger or disappointment, the way they had looked when she came back from Bruce's bedroom, all knowing, and the way they had looked at her ever since…

They seemed to scream "I know what you think and that doesn't scare me, that doesn't even bother me. I know you'll make the right decision", and it confused Anna-Grace. How could Natasha trust someone who was so messed up?

Those defying eyes were what finally spurred her into action. She had a responsibility, towards Natasha but mainly towards Bruce. She was going nowhere with her indecision. She needed to stop and think clearly. So she dropped Bruce's tyrannosaurs in the living room toy truck and looked around herself, Natasha's defying eyes in mind, thinking What should I do?

She then remembered her own mother sitting down in her office and making a list. As Anna-Grace stood there in her apartment, she could almost hear her mother say like she used to, "When you don't know what to do, Angel, list the pros and cons. Because even if you hate the option with more pros than cons, you finally see clearly which choice is rational and which choice is from the heart. It's then just a question of balance."

Anna-Grace suddenly realized she hadn't talked to her mother in such a long time, she didn't know where she was, or how she was. But at least she could think about her mother with bitter sweetness instead of just sadness and regret. Maybe even one day, they could meet again… After all, she was safe now, with the Avengers by her side… Maybe her mother could even meet Bruce… If he's still with you… mocked the bitter side of her mind, and she ignored it. She was not going to give in to despair, not this time. She was a blessed woman, and her responsibilities were going hand in hand with the joys of raising up Bruce.

For once purposeful, she walked to the chest of drawers where she kept her stationery, took a piece of paper and a pencil and went to sit at the kitchen table. She drew a line in the middle, wrote on one side "Pros" and on the other "Cons".

And then she stopped.

As her pen hovered over the paper, she couldn't dare write even one argument. Come on, you stupid robin! You can't be scared by a tiny list! she mocked herself. Yet the pen trembled, the fear preventing her hand from standing still.

Finally, she wrote. The pen flew from a column to the other, sometimes putting down a serious argument, sometimes writing something some would call silly but that spoke of the truth anyway.

After half an hour, Anna-Grace had written a fairly complete list. Among the pros arguments were the serious "it'll be safer for Bruce in case people are after him", "he'll have access to the best teachers, doctors", the more frivolous "we'll be closer to Central Park", "he'll have lots of toys", "it could look like a secure home". Among the cons arguments were "Peter and Rosie will be far", "it won't be just the two of us" and "who knows who will be in that tower?"

Looking at the list, Anna-Grace realized why it was so hard for her to decide. Firstly, the list was balanced, there were as many arguments for moving to the Tower as there were for staying at Neverland. Secondly, she couldn't write anything about Bruce hulking out. It was too difficult to even think about that possibility. But that is what will determine everything. If Bruce ever hulks out, the safest place would be the Tower, between a secure location for his physical wellbeing, and a home for his emotional well-being. However, if he doesn't hulk out, we could still live at Neverland, especially if Natasha stays here. It went well the last few months, why couldn't it stay that way?

She sighed. She knew the truth, she knew the decision she had to make, she knew all depended on Bruce hulking out or not. She knew that if he didn't, she could argue for Bruce and her to stay at Neverland, and with time change the Avengers' decision. But if he did hulk out… They would have to move out for his safety. No matter how much she didn't like that option, no matter all the excellent things they could have access to. Because it wouldn't be just the two of them anymore. God, I'm jealous of a 6 years old's love! she thought, embarrassed. But facts remained facts: Bruce now was her love, the one person she couldn't live without.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ten days later, Natasha came back to Neverland from a mission involving but not reduced to a conflict between two tribes at war for centuries over a fountain (men and their insecurities, really, it was exhausting), the Russian secret nuclear codes (and surprisingly the French ones as well, but that had been more of coincidence than anything else), an ex-CIA computer genius of the tender age of 15 and his sick cat (seriously, having to buy drugs while being shot at was not her dream mission): suffice is to say she was extremely glad to be welcomed by a happy and bouncing Bruce and a sweet smile from Anna-Grace.

She was then dragged to their apartment by an excited boy who HAD TO show her his new toy - an impressive Stark circuit train, strangely left at a discount shop - with a 90% reduction - 5 minutes before Peter arrived there. It was the first sign. Natasha grinned at the boy's joy, laughing inwardly at everyone obviousness: the boy's for all the coincidences, Anna-Grace and Peter's for Stark intervention, and Tony's for his own feelings. But she remained quiet and sat on the floor to play with Bruce. It was the second sign.

Then Anna-Grace warned tea was ready and offered a cup to Natasha, who went to sit on the sofa with the lady who smiled awkwardly. Sensing the unsaid apology, the spy should not have been surprised at the contentment she felt upon the signs of a renewed friendship and trust. This was the third sign.

The next hour was spent telling how everyone's week had been, and finished with a shy Bruce asking if Natasha would be there tomorrow upon her leaving. The agent couldn't be sorry for the required departure for missions - she lived for those - but she had to admit she didn't like realizing the boy had been hurt by her not saying goodbye - even if she only left for ten days. She knelt on the floor to look at his eyes level and, ruffling his curls, she assured him of her presence the next day. His joy and Anna-Grace's relief and gratitude told her the family completely trusted her and would follow her to the end of the world. Her own contentment was normal, after all her mission had been, among others, to win their trust. But that she felt honored was the fourth sign.

Finally, Bruce went to pick up his drawing equipment and Anna-Grace took the opportunity to halt Natasha before the lady left, with a whisper and a hesitant hand on the ginger woman's elbow. Natasha turned back to the 'mother' and smiled at the hesitation clear in the way Anna-Grace looked anywhere but at her face.

"I know, Anna-Grace," she reassured her friend with a kind smile. I know what you finally decided, I knew before you even started thinking about it.

Anna-Grace suddenly looked in her eyes, surprised, but then chuckled.

"I should expect this to happen more often, shouldn't I?" she said half joking.

"For me to understand you before you even open your mouth, or to not hide it?" Natasha whispered with a light teasing in her voice. "We're friends, are we not?"

Anna-Grace didn't answer, but blushed and grinned. The pleasure in the blond woman's eyes, Natasha knew, was reflected in her own, and she was glad for once not to have to hide it.

This was the fifth sign, and it added up to all the others as Anna-Grace was softly saying just as Natasha was leaving:

"Welcome home, Natasha."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

How weird, thought Anna-Grace, looking at Bruce's last drawing. Something was… off? No, just different… It was the usual row of ducks, Mommy in tow of three little ones - a red, blue and purple, like always - walking in a field under a shiny sun. The drawing breathed happiness and childhood but something definitely had changed.

-"What's wrong?" asked Natasha, lifting her eyes from her book, surprised at her friend's reaction.

Looking around at Natasha on the couch, Bruce at her feet and the mess in her living room, she smiled at Bruce and answered Nat with a non-committal answer "as always, I'm just admiring Bruce's work, that's all." Her cherry demeanor didn't foul Nat but reassured the boy who continued his drawing of the perfect hideout for the PJ masks.

As Anna-Grace walked to the kitchen to pour herself another cup of tea, she glanced at the drawings on the wall and realized what had surprised her. The changes were subtle and slow, thankfully. Otherwise she would not have been able to follow Bruce and heal with him.

The hand she suddenly felt on her shoulder was what allowed her not to crumble in tears in the kitchen where Bruce would see her. As she took a long breath and closed her eyes to control her emotions, Natasha whispered:

- "Congratulations, Anna-Grace."

It was all the young woman needed to smile and hold back tears. She knew she would probably cry herself to sleep that evening, but right now, only joy at Bruce's evident healing remained. Instead of perfect copies of Rosie's drawings, Bruce was painting what he wanted to draw. The perfect circles and perspectives had transformed into shapeless forms full of colors. Finally, the boy was allowing himself to draw like a child because he knew no one would correct him on being himself. How wonderful to look at his new drawings, so much more childish than the ones he did when he started his lessons with Rosie? There was no danger, no future pain. Just rows of ducks after ducks on a piece of paper. Remembering her one-month old decision to move out should Bruce hulk out, Anna-Grace for once could ponder on it without overwhelming sadness and fear. Because the truth was, no matter where they were, drawings could be put on display on other walls.

After pouring herself the cup of tea, she went back to the living room, put her cup on the table and fetched some tape in the dresser. She took the newest drawing and added it to the exposition on the wall, next to its numerous companions.

- "Perfect!" she said, looking proudly at the drawings. "This wall is getting more handsome by the second, darlings!"

Bruce's laugh sounded like bells to her hears and it was with a content heart that she went back to her book while sipping her tea under Natasha's proud and joyful eyes.

Such realizations were not uncommon these days in the Williams household. With some help from her friends and an enormous one from Natasha, Anna-Grace was starting to see what the Avengers had noticed long ago: she was a good mother.

Thanks to her capabilities, Bruce had started to get more childish. The Avengers had all heard through Natasha how the child started to give false excuses so as not to go to bed: they heard all about the things he said, that had been said by all kids before him, that were used by all kids now, and that would be used by all kids after them: "I'm playing, please, let me finish this!", "I'm thirsty, can I have a glass of water?", "Anna-Grace, can I have a hug?", "I'm hungry, can I have a sandwich?", "I played outside with Nathan all day, can I get a bath?", "I'm not sleepy, can I get a story?", "I'm scared of dolphins"…

Despite her insecurities, Anna-Grace managed the changes. 'Babysitting a child isn't like raising one' often came to her mind but she never let it prevent her from helping Bruce as much as she could. As the Avengers saw how difficult it was for her, yet she did the job, day after day, they helped her see through their eyes.

Had she known what was happening, Anna-Grace would've said Bruce was an angel. Natasha would've then retorted that he certainly was an adorable child but the easiness was equally due to him only dreaming of Anna-Grace's love. Since that was all he wanted in the whole wide world, he had long ago decided to do whatever she asked of him. A single reproach was enough to correct him, because he couldn't bear to even think about disappointing her. Moreover, even though it certainly was based on his insecurities and his unfortunate past, Junior soon reassured the anxious concerned party that it wasn't uncommon among some children to only need a simple word as sanction when for others it had to be more physical. Of course, because Bruce had more self-confidence near Anna-Grace, it so happened that sometimes he would be petty, or whiney, but those scenes were nothing Anna-Grace couldn't deal with. And as Bruce learned how to behave around the adults he trusted, so Anna-Grace learned how to raise Bruce as a confident and gentle soul.

The Avengers' gratitude over Anna-Grace's relentless care expressed itself in many ways, mostly through Natasha's subtle guiding of the Williams' life. However, one member felt such amazing upbringing deserved an amazing gift. Said member being who he was, things certainly weren't left half done. Some would've almost said he went overboard had the boy not been a member of the Team. Or the unofficial science-bro of the above mentioned member. As Tony liked to say, "it has to be grandiose!"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Voices over voices so loud yet peace.

Steps after steps on the multiple floors.

Excited voices over anxious ones, fear of being late, of being disappointed, of not being seen.

Those were interesting sounds but not the ones he wanted to catch. Closing his eyes was enough to make those disappear, though. He only had to concentrate to hear the sounds hidden by the crowds of spectators…

There it is… The subtle murmur of the waiting orchestra.

Anxious novice musicians holding tight their instruments while peering at the crowds from the arena yet looking extremely busy, their steps slow and careful. He could almost hear them think 'now is not the time to trip over a stupid chair!' Yes, he could almost hear their fast beating hearts pulsing life and talent into their body, fingers tapping slightly against the wood, unconsciously or not he couldn't tell, to rehearse the plays.

The sound of a calm veteran shushing one last advice to his young aid attracted his attention to that part of the sounds. Their breaths were even yet nervous. Excited yet apprehensive. They again and again calmed fears and kept the orchestra afloat, instructing breathing exercises and last instrument check-ups to their novices.

- "Everything alright, Bambino?" whispered the loveliest voice of all to his right ear, prompting Bruce to open his eyes at Anna-Grace, sitting next to him.

Her eyes weren't worried, she was grinning, and Bruce beamed at her before closing his eyes again to listen to the faraway sounds surrounding him. He heard Anna-Grace and Peter laughing at his reactions before they resumed their conversation about the different artists that would perform that night. How incredible to be right there tonight?

As he heard instructions for the lights to go down before the excited murmur of crowds of spectators sat down, his senses went full back into listening to the wonderful sounds of the New York Philharmonic starting their evening of Bach, Mozart and Tchaikovsky. The sounds that could never be cacophony… Soon surrounded by Beauty, he forgot about how lucky he was to be there tonight to let himself be swept away by the stories of genius past.

There was something to be said about Bruce's tenacious childlike mind. Despite his incredible intelligence, he would never realize what his presence at such a public event meant. Sure, Anna-Grace's face upon entering the famous and grandiose Avery Fisher Hall, when she had looked around herself with wonder and astonishment at the high ceiling and the wooden walls, hinted at the exceptional nature of their night out. But he would never realize how deep it went.

After all, how could a child understand being an adult who had had to live without friends, who had had to give up all hope after leaving an abusive situation ? Despite everything he went through, 5 years old Bruce Banner was still a child who trusted some - if not all - adults. Legacy of his mother, the preservation of his childhood meant he could never comprehend how unimaginable it was for Anna-Grace to be at the Avery Fisher Hall. He would never know all that Natasha and Steve had to do to make sure Bruce's face, Anna-Grace's face and even Peter's face would never get recorded there, nor their voices, not anything that could indicate they had been there, for Bruce's safety.

The only hint he would remember of the exceptional nature of their evening out was Anna-Grace's treatment of her ticket. He only caught a glimpse of it while passing in front of her open bedroom door, but the sight was enough of an indicator: Anna-Grace putting the ticket with softness and trembling hands into a book he knew to hold cherished memories. However, it only was a hint. Because how could he even imagine it being a reassurance? From the way he looked at the world, Anna-Grace couldn't doubt herself because she was perfect. So there was no reason for her to look at the book and remember the ticket inside. There was no reason for her to remember the ticket and think about the assurance the Avengers had given her. There was no point for them to tell her she was enough. There was no need to tell her she was a good mother. She could, had, was and would make the right decisions for him. Of course, she would, wouldn't she?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Bruce was playing on the ground with Nathan's cars and the boy. They were at Cherry's house, and Nathan's siblings were occupied elsewhere with their father. Cherry had insisted several times on that fact when she had invited Anna-Grace and her "son" over for afternoon tea.

As if she knew I would've refused had I not been certain no one but Cherry and Nathan would be there, thought Anna-Grace.

On cue, Cherry called her from the living room, charged with a plate on which clinked two tea cups, milk, sugar, and a cake. Anna-Grace, knowing Bruce would come to her if anything was wrong, came to Cherry and sat on the sofa where Cherry indicated. The other woman said with a cheerful voice:

"I'm so glad you're here, Anna-Grace."

The blond woman felt tense, awkwardly trying to smile. This was out of her comfort zone for sure.

The day before, Rosie had heavily implied that Anna-Grace needed to go out more, that her current life habits - Bruce, work, Bruce, sometimes shopping or the park, Bruce, work, etc. - was extremely unhealthy. The implicit reproach had embarrassed Anna-Grace as much as it had pleased her. Not long ago, she would've never thought someone could care about her well-being. And here she was, in Cherry's living room!

"Well, I'm glad to be here, too, Cherry," Anna-Grace finally answered the mother of her son's best friend.

"You know, Nathan loves Bruce. Of course, the first time he met him, he had acted out of kindness but he never thought he would find in Bruce such a dear friend," rambled the lady of the house while serving tea and cake.

"Really?"

"Mm-hmm. Nathan is an extremely kind child, but his energy sometimes rebukes the shy ones. Yet those are the ones he really gets along with. I don't know why, maybe because they give him balance. Besides, he's kind of smart and it scares the other kids. They feel inadequate!" finished Nathan's mother with barely hidden contempt.

"Cherry!" interjected Anna-Grace, amused yet a little bit shocked by the comment.

"Sorry, it just annoys me. You understand with Bruce being so intelligent!"

"Well…" She awkwardly said.

At Anna-Grace's obvious uneasiness, Cherry gave the tea cup to her guest and started talking again before the uneasiness could spread further.

"Anyway, he really is happy about Bruce. He finds someone who gets him, who can follow wherever his mind goes while still being a child and playing and being innocent."

"Yes, I do understand. I'm glad for Nathan, but I have to admit, I'm more glad for Bruce finding such a kind friend." Sipping her tea, she could feel her body relax.This is nice. Thinking about her boy, she whispered, as a reflex, so Bruce wouldn't hear it "He needed it, he's so…"

"Insecure?"

Anna-Grace nodded. Cherry looked away, clearly uncomfortable before slowly and carefully saying:

- "I don't know how to say this, so forgive me if I'm overstepping …"

Anna-Grace looked up at her, surprised. It wasn't like the cheerful mother to be careful about her words and uneasy. Her stare must've been more than Cherry could handle because she suddenly started rambling:

- "It's just that Nathan asked me the other day and I didn't know what to say. You never know these days, there are so many stories and you don't know why, if he's an awful man, or if there was an accident, or…"

Cherry laughed awkwardly and Anna-Grace was left puzzled in the silence while the mother in front of her clearly waited for an answer. Since she didn't have a clue about what Cherry had on her mind, she plainly asked:

"Sorry?"

"I don't mean to pry but… Nathan asked where was… I mean, we've know each other for some time now and… I've never seen or heard either you or Bruce talk about… It's like he never existed…"

Suddenly Anna-Grace had an idea about what Cherry had on her mind and she froze. She hadn't expected having to talk about that subject today… As the silence resonated in the room, Cherry looked remorseful. Brutally she said:

"Forget it, it's none of my business."

Anna-Grace hesitated as Cherry was clearly scolding herself for bothering her guest after finally succeeding in having said guest over. She liked the woman in front of her and knew she could trust her since the Avengers hadn't told her to stop seeing her. How much was too much to tell? Some facts weren't that dangerous to divulge and it would be nice to actually talk with… well, someone normal. A normal friend…

"You mean where is the father?" she suddenly asked, having made up her mind.

"You don't have to…"

"No, no, it's fine. I guess I might as well clear up any misunderstanding."

Anna-Grace took her time thinking over the words she would use next.

"Bruce is not my son. His mother… Let's just say she is no longer with us. As for his father… he was ..."

Abusive. That was the technical term, wasn't it? But it applied to two men. It described what Bruce and she had in common. It was Him. It was her past too. Why was it so hard to say, when she wasn't even talking about herself?

She suddenly realized she had never told a soul. Bruce knew of course, but that was because they shared the same experience. And Natasha - and the Avengers - knew because of their researches on her. However, she had never had to actually say the words. Theoretically, she knew healing came through telling. But practicing it was a whole other deal… So she never knew where she got the courage to actually say:

"I was married. He was abusive and I left him."

As Cherry remained quiet, respecting her effort, Anna-Grace breathed in, letting the words wash away in the silence. It was as if she could feel a little piece of her heart start to beat again, like it had found the courage to live again after giving up under so many hits.

It then dawned on her that lost in the similitudes between Bruce's and her history, outsiders could misunderstand her. She debated on whether or not to clear it, but the confusion was actually the perfect cover. To pretend Bruce's father was her ex-husband would explain so many oddities in their relationship…

"I guess that is why I understand Bruce so well," she added, letting the truth and pain behind her voice add to the confusion.

She had thought the white lie would distance her from her friend, keeping the pain at bay. Yet when Cherry looked at Anna-Grace with sorrow in her eyes, the blond woman realized she hadn't used the misunderstanding to hide behind it, but instead to reveal her brokenness, using it as a stepping stone and not a cover.

As her friend's eyes bore into hers, sharing in her sorrow, Anna-Grace relished Cherry's empathy. Nathan's mother whispered:

"I'm so sorry, no one should have to go through this…"

Her friend was at a loss for words, something she had never seen. Seeds of deep trust were being planted. As Anna-Grace had revealed a part of herself, so was Cherry: her cheerful demeanor had no futility nor stupidity. It was her choice in front of life's challenges. She could let go of it and stand vulnerable if need be, like in that instant. Because of Bruce… Always because of Bruce… As the silence grew in the room without the expected tension, Anna-Grace felt for the first time better about some part of her past. She had always thought telling it would be too hard, that anyone's reaction would make her angry, because who knew what she had gone through? What could anyone do about it?

But Cherry's empathy was healing, and Anna-Grace could finally look back and feel more than just pain. Oh, the past was still so black, so full of despair… But there was a light gleaming through the brokenness. Some reason for all she had to live… No justification, but a way for her to explain her life, and not feel so empty, incapable…

"Don't be, Cherry. I'm not glad for the pain, but it was worth it. I would've never met Bruce if not for that. I wouldn't be able to understand him, and help him. If I had to do it all over again, there isn't much I would change. And marrying my abusive husband is not one of them."

Anna-Grace was sure of what she was saying, and when she looked in Cherry's eyes, she only saw understanding. Because for the first time since she escaped her poisonous marriage, she was talking to a mother. Something Peter, Rosie and Natasha were not. There was something Cherry understood that none of her friends would ever grasp, no matter how much they loved Bruce. Looking in her steel equal's eyes, Anna-Grace knew Cherry agreed: there was nothing a mother wouldn't do.