A Certain Airing of Magical Girl Kanamin
"Magical Girl, la la la!" Index, plopping down in front of the television, hummed the theme song of her favorite show. The sound of a vacuum cleaner interrupted her, and she cast a furious look at the offender. "Touma! Hurry up with that! Magical Girl Kanamin is almost on!"
"Hold on just one minute!" Touma parked the vacuum in front of the television and shot a scolding look at Index. "Don't you feel any shame? Mr. Kamijou is trying his best to keep this apartment clean. And most of this mess is your doing, isn't it? But all you do is eat me out of house and home! Don't you feel like you should pitch in and help me clean before you sit down in front of the television to watch your show?"
"Hmmm!" Cheeks puffed up, Index groaned like a child whose favorite toy had been taken away. "But, Touma! She's fighting for justice and stuff! You can clean later!"
Kamijou sighed and shook his head. "Never mind. You're hopeless." He moved to turn the vacuum back on, but as he did the handle slipped away from his hand. It slid away and struck the television screen, shattering it.
Index stared at the shattered screen, a look of shock on her face.
"Crap!" Beads of sweat poured down Kamijou's face as he watched Index. Pleading, and moving his hands slowly, Kamijou said, "Now, Index, stay calm. I'm sure if you go next door, Tsuchimikado's stepsister will let you watch your show. So, please, there's really no need to get angry!"
"Tooouuuumaaa!" As she stood, Index tilted her head. Her eyes were two pools of evil and her lips were pulled back in a snarl, her teeth flashing dangerously.
"Hold on!" Kamijou took a step back, but tripped over the vacuum and fell onto his rear.
It was too late for escape. Index was already on top of him, sinking her teeth into his shoulder.
Roaring out from the pain, Kamijou cried out, "Rotten luck!"
With shining eyes, Last Order peeked over the back of the couch at Accelerator, who was looking through his refrigerator. "Oh boy, Misaka Misaka says, looking at you earnestly! Misaka Misaka is so excited to watch Magical Girl Kanamin! Misaka Misaka has been waiting all week for this, Misaka Misaka tells you, trying to let you know of her anticipation. It's an amazing show, Misaka Misaka informs you. The tumults of youth, the passion of a young girl's heart, and the burning quest for justice! Misaka Misaka says, stringing these phrases together to help you understand. Can you think of anything better than a show like that? Misaka Misaka asks."
"Tsk." Accelerator clicked his tongue as he turned around and cast an annoyed look at Last Order. "Anything would be better than that crap."
"How can you say that? Misaka Misaka wonders in shock. Magical Girl Kanamin is-"
"Stop. I don't need you to remind me. You haven't shut up about this little kid's show for the past three and a half weeks."
"It is not a little kid's show! Misaka Misaka says, puffing up her cheeks and pouting to show her disdain for your comment!" Turning her back on Accelerator, Last Order crossed her arms and plopped down on the couch.
Accelerator sighed and shrugged. "Yeah, whatever."
"Oh nos!" Last Order suddenly exclaimed.
Accelerator tensed a little. "What?"
"Is that really the time? Misaka Misaka inquires, looking at your clock and hoping it isn't so. Misaka Misaka cannot believe it! Could Misaka Misaka truly have been having so much fun hanging out with you that she lost track of time? The show is already over, Misaka Misaka says with tears in her eyes!" On the couch, Last Order sprawled on her stomach, and sobbed as she flailed her limbs about.
"Tsk…" Accelerator had come over and put his hand on the arm of the couch, but seeing how stupid the problem was, he now turned away with a disgusted look.
"Huh?" As Last Order turned on the television and her eyes went through the text there, her tears stopped. "Somebody recorded it." Last Order turned an entreating gaze upon Accelerator. "Did you remember Misaka Misaka wanted to watch this? Misaka Misaka asks, giving you an entreating look and awaiting your heartfelt answer."
Accelerator was silent.
"Or wait, maybe you like Magical Girl Kanamin too, Misaka Misaka suggests. Do you secretly have the burning passion of a maiden?" She watched Accelerator with a dopey open-mouthed grin.
"Like hell I do!" Accelerator, looking irritated, scratched the back of his head as he sat down on the other end of the couch. He faced away from Last Order, with his elbow on the armrest and his head leaned against his arm.
"So you say, Misaka Misaka says, noting that you're sitting down to watch with Misaka Misaka." Last Order donned a sly look.
"Shut up. There's just nothing else to do if you're going to hog the TV. So just hurry up and let's get this over with."
"Yay! Misaka Misaka cheers, secretly ecstatic that you're going to watch with her! Misaka Misaka will explain everything so that you understand the story!"
"No need for that. Just play it already."
"Alright."
"Tsk." Accelerator clicked his tongue and opened one eye as the program began playing. "What a pain…"
A blank look on her face, Mikoto Misaka sat in front of a television, images of a magical girl show flashing by.
"Sissy, you really should-"
Out of nowhere, Kuroko Shirai appeared in the room, giving Misaka a fright.
"Ahh!" Misaka jumped out of her seat. "Kuroko, don't do that!" she furiously cried out.
"Sorry, Sissy. Oh my…" Kuroko's gaze fell onto the television. "Who left this playing? Sissy, don't tell me this is the sort of thing you like?"
"No!" Misaka's cheeks flushed red. "Obviously, it just happened to be on this channel when I turned the TV on."
Kuroko nodded and, holding her hand to her chest, exhaled a breath of relief. "Thank goodness for that. It would be most unbecoming for you to watch something so childish. You truly are a model of sophistication, Sissy."
Kuroko moved to grab the remote on the end of the bed, but Misaka's hand closed over it at the same time, and wouldn't surrender it.
"Sissy, let go!" Kuroko said.
"Hang on, it's almost over!" Misaka said, her gaze torn between the screen and the tug-of-war.
"Argh! This simply will not do! What if someone catches you watching this? Your reputation as an outstanding young lady will be ruined!"
"It'll be fine! Anyway, let me worry about my reputation!"
"No, Sissy! I won't let you do this!" Kuroko threw herself at Misaka, knocking her onto the bed, and at the same time she reached for the remote in Misaka's outstretched hand.
"Kuroko, knock it off!"
"Arrrhhhh!"
With her electricity, Misaka fried Kuroko. Collapsing, the other girl rolled off the bed onto the floor, with smoke pouring off of her.
"S-Sissy's electricity… Wh-what a pleasant sensation…"
"Now then." With a smile, Misaka turned to the television and watched the rest of the show uninterrupted. Before she knew it, the episode was over.
"Ahhh, man! Over already? But what's going to happen? Is she alright? Are they going to defeat the bad guy?"
"Misaka is also on the edge of her seat in anticipation as a result of the story's tension and lack of resolution, Misaka informs Big Sister."
"Arrh!" Mikoto Misaka let out a little yell when she saw Misaka 10032 sitting beside her on the bed, munching on popcorn in a bowl. "Where did you come from? How long have you been there?!"
"From Big Sister's response, it would seem as though she doesn't want to see Misaka, Misaka says with a despondent look." She said this, but she didn't look very despondent as she continued eating handfuls of popcorn.
"I didn't mean it like that! But if you just show up like this, people will get suspicious!" She checked the floor to make sure Kuroko was still unconscious.
"Then Big Sister doesn't mind Misaka being here? Misaka asks, with a cute tilt of the head to win Big Sister over."
"I… guess I don't mind."
For a short time, it was silent, save for Misaka 10032 munching on her popcorn.
"Wanna watch it with me again next week?"
"Misaka gives you a thumbs-up to show her affirmation, Misaka informs Big Sister, wearing a secret smile that betrays her happiness at having been invited."
Cheeks reddening a little, Mikoto Misaka scratched her nose. "Yeah, geez. You don't have to get sentimental like that."
"What the hell are you doing?" Hamazura asked, staring in shock at the magical girl show playing on the television, and at the girl sitting and watching it.
"Frenda and I used to watch this show all the time before she ultra-died. So I'm ultra-honoring her memory," said Kinuhata.
"Frenda did? But that show is for children… She wouldn't…"
"…"
"What?" Hamazura didn't like the look of the murderous glare he was getting.
"Are you ultra-doubting me? I'm going to ultra-kill you."
Hamazura shrieked and ran as the girl barreled after him. And he shrieked some more when she kneed him in the back and pinned him to the ground. "Cut it out!" he yelled as she pulled on his hair and twisted his arm behind his back.
"This is your ultra-punishment!"
"Eeeeeh!"
Kinuhata slammed Hamazura's face against a wall, then threw him to the ground. She pinned him to the ground with her foot and pulled his leg back. "Do you ultra-give?!"
"Yeah, alright, alright! Please, have mercy!" Hamazura was in a lot of pain. "You and Frenda totally watched that show! I believe you! And there's nothing weird about you watching it at all!"
Kinuhata winced. "You don't sound ultra-sincere right now. Ultra-punishment time!" She twisted Hamazura's leg back even more.
"Arrghhhh! It's awesome, alright?! Magical Girl Kanamin is great! I'll watch it with you!" Something cracked. "Noooo-ooo!"