Shattered Souls

by AvionVadion

Light begets darkness. There can not be one without the other. The Keepers of Hearts, the guardians of man and those of whose hearts have been lost... Irene and Maria are in for quite a surprise. When she was young Maria had went missing only to never been seen again, yet thirteen years later Irene gets a visit from a certain Organization. Kidnapped, she learns of her role...

12. Of Desperation and Certainty

I had followed Zexion into the lab with only the slightest bit of hesitation, concerned about what would happen in the hallway and if Maria and the other members would start fighting. I glanced over my shoulder, paranoia only growing stronger when the door closed behind us and I was unable to see what was happening.

"Keeper."

The calm montone velvet of Zexion's voice snapped me out of my thoughts- though it did little to cease my panic. My fingers twitched nervously as I looked up at him, pondering as to how exactly we were going to figure out my element. I knew very little about anything, even with the short explanations that had been given to me by some of the members. "Y-yeah?" I choked out, mentally taking note of the ginger giant leaning against the wall in the corner of the lab.

His eyes were closed as if sleeping, Lexaeus leaning against the wall with crossed arms. He remained silent as ever, and I was seriously beginning to wonder if he was Zexion and Vexen's personal bodyguard. Was he the bouncer for the lab? I kinda missed hanging out with him; he let me ramble and actually paid attention when I talked. Most people just learned to tune me out after a couple of minutes.

Though he was quiet, he was pretty darn cryptic when he spoke. I wanted to be alone with Zexion when I go to tell him about the dusks, but… I don't think Lexaeus would blabber if he heard. I was pretty sure that he and the slate-haired man in front of me were close.

When Nobodies are created, do they look like the person who had died?

The thought came to me randomly. They said they rely on memories- does that mean they were someone else before? If so, were Zexion and Lexaeus like… best friends before they become Nobodies? How old is Lexaeus? He has to be in his thirties, if not older. Vexen was definitely somewhere in the forties. Zexion was a year or two older than me, so… perhaps a parental figure?

Zexion speaking again caught my attention and I turned my gaze back to him. "Are you ready? Once I send you in it will be up to you whether or not you return."

"M-My name's Irene," I stammered, seriously questioning why he refused to call me by name when he had done so at least once before, "a-and what do you mean "return"? What are we even doing?"

I was briefly aware of Lexaeus opening his eyes and making his way over slowly.

"A-And-And another thing! I have a question about… about dusks?"

The shadow that was hovering over me most definitely belonged to the seven foot tall ginger behind me, but I didn't really mind. Lexaeus had made it clear that he had no intention to harm me and even went so far as to carry me around a bit to avoid me falling down anymore staircases. Not to mention how he was the one who had brought me food while I was staying in the lab, and how on the first time we met he told me I could sit in his chair at the kitchen table so I wouldn't keep standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen floor. He was nice.

A little intimidating and could probably break all the bones in my body without trying, yes, but he was friendly. Waving my hands about as I spoke, anxiety making me act a little more antsy and restless than usual, my hyperactive brain didn't take notice of the way Zexion's eyes narrowed and stared at the cut on my cheek. I also didn't notice how Lexaeus settled himself between me and our slate-haired companion, hovering over us both, and watching with quiet intrigue and speculation.

"I-it's… um… d-do dusks only listen to Nobodies? O-Or just the Organization in general? Or… can they listen to other people, too? How do they work?"

"They obey us, the members of the Organization, because we are a higher power," Zexion carefully explained, eying me sharply in unspoken demand for the reason of my question, "but under no means should they follow the orders of another person."

"O-Oh…" My voice went quiet and I lowered my head, a tightening in my chest as I thought about how I might have done something wrong. Swallowing thickly, scared that they might be mad at me and possibly start yelling, I began to fiddle with the chaos ring on my finger. "Demyx said that… that the Keeper of Darkness could control weaker Heartless, but… earlier I-I ran away from Marluxia and encountered some Dusks?"

The two men stared at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue.

"I-I thought they were going to attack me, but they just stood there after chasing me for a bit a-and… when I tried to talk to them they acted like they understood? I-I asked some to slow down Marluxia, a-and one latched itself onto me," I awkwardly patted the spot on my shoulder where the dusk had wrapped around my body, "and showed me where Demyx was when I asked. Demyx said Keepers of Light aren't supposed to have control over anything, b-but the dusks… listened."

When I raised my gaze to look at Zexion, hoping and praying to whatever higher beings out there that he wouldn't be upset with me, I was surprised to see only his expression of inquisition. In his mind, I had most likely been promoted from lab rat to test monkey. His stare didn't bother me as much as it would have before, because his last experiment had led to me being able to breathe normally again.

Now, Vexen on the other hand is… something else entirely. He still makes me extremely uncomfortable, but as long as I had Zexion and Lexaeus on my side I don't think he would actually do anything to me.

To my relief Zexion didn't look angry, but it did leave me feeling even more confused than before. Forcing myself to speak again, dreading the continued silence that had happened after my speech, I asked, "Is… Is that a bad thing?"

I could almost see the cogs turning in his brain, the young scientist gazing at me with calculating eyes and with a new interest. Rather than bothered, it was becoming a more comforting look as it meant he was working to reach a conclusion and/or an understanding of something. In this case it was most likely to figure out why the dusks had listened to me at all.

"Whether bad or good is something yet to be discovered," Zexion settled on, his voice quiet and sharp eyes narrowed as he speculated on multiple theories within his mind, "but it does call for further research. Nine is correct on the fact that the Keeper of Darkness has the ability to control weaker Heartless- being the purest form of Darkness there is- but you, the Keeper of Light, should not have control of anything that isn't on the side of light…"

He trailed off and turned his head away to the side, briefly meeting Lexaeus' stare. I made a face, even more confused than I was before, because his lack of silence made me question two things: Was I supposed to have control over anything at all? And… was I meant to be the weaker of the two Keepers? It wouldn't surprise me if that was the case; I was never very strong in the first place.

Maria was also incredibly strong. Even if I unlocked my element and trained I would never be able to catch up to her; I was just… me. I knew nothing of magic and only knew the barest parts of how to fight with a blade because of my father. I was clumsy and weak, and I probably wasn't even supposed to be able to talk to the dusks.

Light always triumphs over the Darkness, but I think… in this case… the Darkness triumphed over the Light.

I think that whatever chose me for this role I was supposed to have picked wrong. It might have gotten distracted o-or something and went into me thinking I was someone else. I don't know. I just- I can't have been meant for this. I'm grateful that I was cursed and that I might have found my sister, as unlikely as it had been, but I'm nowhere suited for this. I'm just a teenager. A kid. I was still in High School.

I worried at my bottom lip fearfully, realizing that Maria was right in one context; I had no real idea as to what I was getting into. I can cry and plead and argue all I want about how I wasn't meant for this, but the fact of the matter was that I was here. I was picked to be a Light Keeper and was brought to this castle by the Organization.

I only knew the story of how the Keepers came into creation, that there were beings called Heartless and Nobodies, and how the Organization's goal was to steal hearts in the hopes of gaining their own hearts. I don't want to hurt people, but if there was a peaceful way of getting them their hearts back without hurting others I would like to do it.

I just… I just don't understand what I'm supposed to do. A part of me is still convinced none of this is real.

"Nobodies neither reside in the dark nor the light, so the Keepers of Heart should have no control over them." Fingers curled up to his chin, azure eyes flickering with intrigue, Zexion finally spoke again. "But you… was it because you were poisoned by the dark for so long without the protection from mana, or did it have something to do with the previous Keeper of Light?"

The previous Keeper of Light…

Oddly enough, my mind went back to the continuous dreams I had whenever stressed. Of the little boy with blond hair and the dark-skinned woman he was always with. I didn't really remember much of the last dream I had aside from how the three good fairies were there and there was some backstory, but it was difficult trying to recall specific details. What was that dude's name again…? Michel? No… No, Michael? It was something like that.

Returning to the conversation at hand, I raised my eyebrows and said, "I mean… it could be? How would the previous Keeper have affected whatever abilities I have?"

"In a multitude of ways." The young scientist responded, finger tapping lightly against his nose as he thought. "It's just the process of figuring out which way it had happened. Of course, that will be rather difficult seeing as the previous Keeper of Light is now deceased."

Oh. Oh…. right. Xemnas did say something like that. A Keeper has to die in order for another to be born; if I was here now… that meant there was someone before me. Head pounding a little, I raised a hand up and ruffled my hair, unable to ignore the sudden throbbing. "R-Right…"

The voice that spoke up next was not the demanding velvet of the slate-haired man beside me; no, it was deep and ironclad. "How did you receive the cut on your cheek?" I paused, lowering my hand and allowing my bangs to fall back into my face as I glanced up at the ginger giant. Lexaeus stared down at me, face as angry-looking as ever, but nothing in expression revealing any sort of "emotion".

"Cut?" I blinked, pressing a few fingers against my face in an attempt to find what he was talking about. Hand brushing against a rather sore spot, I winced and pulled away, surprised to see bits of blood on my finger. "Huh. Maybe- oh… when did I-"

A sudden memory of when the dusk had flown off my shoulder to get Demyx's attention came to me.

"Well then." Gingerly placing the back of my hand against the cut one last time, hiding a wince as I checked for anymore blood, I shrugged. "It's fine; I get hurt all the time anyway- though a cut on the face is definitely new. A-Anyway, what… what are we doing?"

Unimpressed by my dismissiveness, Zexion tilted his head to the side as he let out a soft sigh. "I am going to be sending you into your heart; through that you will be discovering your element and choice of weapon. Though as a Keeper of Light your main talent is healing, you do have an specific element tailored to your personality that you will excel in."

"Wait- choice of weapon?" I know they spoke about it before, but the word was bothersome on my tongue. The thought of actually wielding a deadly object frightened me. I knew a little about swordsmanship, dad making sure I knew what I was doing, and I was fairly decent at archery… but I didn't exactly want to use any weapon against another person. "Into my heart? The heck do you mean "sending me into my heart"? Is this a meditation thing? What-?"

"You'll figure it out."

"That's not-!" A hand reaching towards my face had me stumbling back in alarm, boundaries bursted without warning. Next thing I knew Zexion had a firm grasp of my shoulder and rested the tips of his fingers against my forehead, ignoring my obvious discomfort of the proximity. I stood there, face scrunched up in displeasure, only to have a sudden wave of exhaustion wash over me as a bright light flashed in my vision.

My legs buckled underneath me and I fell forward, the world around me turning black. There was a breeze, a warmth, and then voices as I drifted downwards into an abyss… reminding me of all that had happened in the past.

…

"Well, well, well," A voice rang out, full of amusement, a corridor of darkness opening from above the lab floor on the ceiling, "ain't this a party~?" The tense atmosphere surrounding the room only thickened as one of the oldest members of the organization appeared, landing on the ground with a practiced grace. A grin spread across his face, Xigbar stood and placed a hand on his hip. "Now, what are so many members of our Organization doing gathered in a lab?"

Axel was the first to react; his emerald green orbs narrowing into a glare, muscles tensing as if prepared for a fight. Xaldin eyed the younger member, taking a step forward and holding an arm out to stop him. The redhead was still cross over the young woman's actions to dive headfirst into the teenager's heart, knowing full well that Irene's light was stronger than ever before and that Maria's darkness was going to be falling apart within it. The closer the woman fell to the girl's heart the weaker she'll become.

And the last person the flurry had wished to see decided to make himself comfortable in the lab, walking around like he owned the place and speaking with a tone full of mockery and arrogance. Demyx took a step closer to the door, only to flinch and move behind some lab equipment when he nearly bumped into Marluxia. Lexaeus stood as still and unperturbed as always, watching the new development with hard, observing eyes.

For not long after Xigbar made his presence known another member came to join them, all curious blue eyes and amused grins. The portal closed behind Luxord as he landed beside the older member, hands shuffling a deck of cards. "What a warm welcome we've received." The gambler commented, noting how everyone was staring at them with cold eyes. Even Demyx's cheerful facade had dropped, however briefly, to scowl at the newcomers. "Why, if I didn't know any better I'd say that you all wouldn't want us in here."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Zexion commented, voice laced with polite sarcasm as he crossed one arm over his chest, the other waving in the air, "but the lab is starting to get rather crowded…"

"LIke I said," Xigbar exclaimed, waving his arms in the air and walking over the young scientist. A small grunt escaped Zexion's lips when the sharpshooter slung an arm roughly around his shoulders and nearly knocked him over in the process, "it's a party! There's, what, seven of you in here? That's half the organization! Include me and ol' gamblin' man that's nine! Plus the two Keepers of Heart who are… what?"

He looked at the two, single amber eyes noticing the way Maria's darkness had formed a protective barrier around her and the sleeping child. A faint white light appeared to be emitting from the girl, dim slivers of the light slowly trailing up Maria's hands- almost as if it were trying to purify her darkness. Interesting. Saix was right- she does have a soft spot for the little brat.

Xigbar could feel a small smirk spreading across his lips, widening as he thought of ways to use that to their advantage. "So she dove into the kid again, huh? Cute. What happened to the brat this time?"

The older man blatantly ignored the cold azure glare that was sending invisible daggers into his skull. Shrugging off his arm, Zexion took multiple steps back towards Lexaeus, speaking with a hardened voice, "The Keeper of Light came here to awaken her powers. However, the Keeper of Darkness felt the girl was not ready and dove in after her."

"One thing after another." Xigbar mused, crossing his arms over his chest. "So- any idea when they'll wake up?"

Closing his eyes, the slate-blue haired man shook his head. "It can not be said for certain. Only after awakening her powers fully and discovering her true element will she wake up- and as for the Keeper of Darkness… it could either be before the child rises or not at all, for her darkness will have been snuffed out by the light."

"Or," Vexen interrupted, glaring at Xigbar, "the child's light will be contaminated by the darkness and she will fall. Naturally, there's always the possibility of where they inadvertently destroy each other- the strength of their hearts snuffing the other out. The Keepers of Hearts have a bond unlike any other, but the two can never truly become one without overpowering each other. This is why they were split into two separate entities- a being of pure darkness and a being of pure light. Never in history has there been a meeting of the two that didn't end in utter disaster."

Axel's expression only darkened with each word the mad scientist spoke. Demyx's expression went blank, sea green eyes turning to the table to look at the girls. In his chest he knew there should be an ache- a concern or anxiety- due to what was happening and what he was being told, but all he had was the memory of that feeling. Even if his fists clenched at his sides, there was nothing inside him.

Only a confusion in his mind- the lack of understanding as to why the two Keepers went so far. Why Maria, who claimed to despise everyone and the role she had, kept going to save the one person she wanted to avoid more than anything; and why Irene, who was scared of confrontation and violence, and knew there was more to her being here than what she was told, went out of her way to defend the people that were her captors.

"I doubt it will be such an… unpleasant end," Marluxia's suave voice rang out, sending Vexen a condescending smile, "I'm sure they'll be fine. After all, the Keeper of Darkness did send you into a heavy sleep… she's not so pathetic to fall here. As for the girl… well, she has her moments." He brought a hand up to his chin, humming to himself thoughtfully. "If she can stand up to Larxene on more than one occasion I'm sure a little darkness is nothing she can't handle."

Axel's disbelieving voice cut in, the shadow in his expression still there. "Seriously? I mean, sure, she burned Vexen a little… but she was shivering like a scared rabbit earlier. You should've seen her when we first met; kid looked like she was gonna cry."

"But she didn't, did she? She even intervened earlier when the dark one was asking for a fight with Larxene and myself. You saw. You deny her tenacity?"

Luxord chuckled at the conversation taking place, pulling out two cards from his deck. Instead of the normal suits or even tarot cards, these ones had pictures of chess pieces. One was a black queen, and the other… a white pawn. "I'd say both the girls are a bit headstrong, though each in their own way. One is determined to live life as she wishes it, unbowing to the rules of others, and the other wishes for nothing else but peace, determined to adapt and live life as she knows it to be. Thirteen years they've been separated; thirteen years that they've survived. Yet, when all is said and done… are they not more alike than what we see at first glance?"

"You speak in riddles." Xaldin stated, dislike for the blond's roundabout way of saying things becoming known. "They share a physical resemblance, yes, but their personalities couldn't be more different. The Keeper of Darkness is fire itself- and flames burn brightest in the dark."

"Which again leads to the question-" Vexen spoke again, a look of deep thought on his face. "-what will the girl's element be? She was able to use fire, however weak it was, which means her element is one that is able to transmit heat."

Everyone went silent at that, pondering as to what it could be. The girl lacked the passion, the ferocity one needed to wield such flames. She didn't have the force for metal or the spark needed for electricity. Water seemed the most likely, but it didn't match up at all with what the mad scientist had told everyone.

"Perhaps she's a plant type after all?" He mused, frowning deeply at the thought. It was no surprise to anyone that Vexen and Marluxia hated each other, and the very idea that the Graceful Assassin would be the one to train the girl left a sour taste on the Chilly Academic's tongue. "Pity…" The man straightened and looked down at his fellow scientist, wondering if he would have any any better ideas. "What do you think, Zexion? You've spent more time with the girl than I have; you must have thought of something."

Azure eyes met acidic green, and the young man lowered his head in thought. He didn't see why they were all trying to figure it out when it would be revealed once the girl awoke, but it did help to pass the time. Index and middle fingers resting lightly on his nose, he recalled every meeting and conversation with the girl thus far.

She appeared fearful of many things, a few members of the organization included, but she was accepting of just as much. She had her own will and opinions on most matters, but in situations she was unfamiliar or uncomfortable with she would back down and let others take the lead. Irene was passive submissive- from the very first time they met. She wore her emotions like an open book, expressing her doubts and concerns, and yet… there were still times when she would try to hide what she was thinking, molding her expression into something a bit more neutral.

Even though she was afraid she stood against Axel, she argued with Larxene, she burned Vexen, and appeared to act as the peacemaker between Marluxia and Maria. The girl would follow another's lead without hesitation, but she would not stand for anything that went against her beliefs. Her desires. She was honest and she was loyal, timid yet strong-willed. She would defend those she believed was in the right, as proven when she stood against Maria to defend him when he suggested they use her powers to help the Organization.

Maria wasn't wrong when she said Irene looked up to him. Zexion knew the girl held more faith in him than the other members; he understood that to her he was someone she could… trust. Or, rather, rely on. Unlike most of the Organizations he didn't go out of his way to pick fights, he didn't outright threaten people, and he didn't try to harm her upon first meeting. Irene confiding in him about the situation with the Dusks just confirmed what he had already known.

And as for Lexaeus- she seemed to look to him for guidance. The giant had grown accustomed to carrying the small girl around since she was so prone to accidents. Most were intimidated by him at first glance, and would still be so even after spending time with him, but the girl wasn't bothered by it. She actually behaved rather relaxed around him, something that could have been caused by his natural guardian instinct.

Back before they had lost their hearts- before they had become Nobodies- Lexaeus' other had been a castle guard. He even acted as a bodyguard for Zexion in present day when times deemed it necessary, and once Lexaeus had been assigned as an escort to Irene… the giant made it clear he was going to keep her from coming into contact with any sort of danger.

Unless, of course, Zexion or the Superior ordered him otherwise.

She cares for Demyx and acts in a similar childish manner, but still has a calming presence similar to that of Lexaeus with a loyal nature almost competitive to his. She's compliant and is adapting to the life at the castle, but she's still grounded to the life of which she had been living. The Keeper of Light makes decisions based on her morals and uses logic to justify them. However, that logic is based around the life she had where magic did not exist.

That is why Maria claimed her heart to be in chaos. The ground Irene walked on had been shaken, and her heart- which had accepted what it was- had trouble piecing together all that was happening. Her resilience to persist as she was regardless what was happening around her has become her downfall.

If she can win against the light and the pain in her heart, and truly accept what she is now rather than what she had been before, she'll become steady again. The ground shall become still and her mind will be strengthened.

It was staring them all directly in the face this entire time. A quiet, barely audible gasp escaping his lips as realization lit up in his expression, he turned his gaze to the girl lying on the nearby lab table. If he had to wager a guess on what she could possibility be, that would definitely be it. Opening his mouth, he let one word slip through- a word that brought the image of surprise on all faces except one.

"Earth."

...

"This is a Chaos Ring. It helps protect you against the adverse effects of Darkness."

"It's survival of the fittest here and it's best you learn that quickly."

"You apologize quite often despite us being your captors… do you not believe your attack on Vexen to be justified?"

"You are a being of light, surrounded by complete darkness… yet stand too close to the shadows and your glow will get extinguished."

"Be wary of those you meet."

"You shouldn't hold onto things too tightly, lest it all fall to pieces."

"Why is she here when she didn't ever exist there?"

The voices vibrated through my mind, reminding of all that was and is. Memories flashed through my mind, pulling me deeper into the black abyss that was my heart. The barest traces of wind blew by, calming and gentle, and slowed my descent. Light flickered against my eyelids, so blinding I was unable to open my eyes. I was falling, yet hadn't the slightest idea which way was down.

All I could do was listen, silent as the memories continued to flash through my mind. From the most recent, to those in the far past. Of before the Organization, before I had been attacked, and when I had first heard of Maria.

"Who's that?"

"...You look just like her. Your expressions, your eyes…"

"But who is she?"

"Your big sister. Maria."

"...Where is she? Why doesn't she live with us? I wanna meet her!"

"You can't…"

"Why not?"

"Because she's gone."

Maria. As a child she loved to wrestle with our brother, the two as close as can be. She slept wherever she could, lethargic and tired, until I was born. Apparently she was mad at me for a short time because our brother spent time with me, but then her anger died out and she liked to spend time with all of us. Her illness went away, but mine was hereditary.

And then she disappeared; it was sudden and unexpected, but I began to grow weaker and more ill day-by-day. The doctors didn't know what was wrong, nor my parents, so they could only give me random prescriptions in hope that it would help somehow. My illness didn't get really bad until Middle School, where I tried to make a new start. After mother and father had divorced, my cousins moved in with us and… the eldest of the three little ones was insane.

She ruined everything.

But then they moved out and I was able to escape, so I tried a start a new leaf. I acted more true to myself- even being noted to have left the "turtle shell" I hid behind in Elementary School, and tried to make friends.

And those friends left in High School, changing and preferring other people. Until Skylar, that is. She helped me through a lot, as I did vice versa for her, and we became close. When Xigbar and Axel showed up she was the one who stood up and tried to help me. She stopped Xigbar from attacking anyone else.

She was the only who ever truly defended me.

And now I'll never see her again. Her, Clara, Darien, my parents…

It would have been nice to see them one last time- to tell them goodbye. That I loved them. That I was okay. How I was safe.

But I'm not safe.

I'm living in a castle where the Organization members argue and fight, tearing away at each other's flesh and blood because of petty arguments. Where they are people who had formed because of another's death; where they are people without living and beating hearts.

People who bled without having the heart to bleed.

Magic, violence, hatred, and… through it all… most definite manipulation.

I was going along with all of their whims because I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I know I defended them, saying that they wanted to protect me and that the woman everyone was claiming was the sister I lost so long ago, but they were lying. Xemnas' eyes- when we first met- were far from trustworthy. Larxene had attacked me- she still wants to attack me- and Marluxia is far too nice to me.

If they really wanted to protect me, would Axel and Xigbar really have attacked the other students and then try to kill me? The only ones who have done anything resembling protection was Demyx, Lexaeus, and Zexion.

I just want to go home.

Home, where it's safe… where my family is. Home, where I can talk to Skylar, Clara, and Darien through Facebook or text. Home, where the most I ever had to worry about was failing my math classes and when the next event for Band Class was going to be. Home, where I would continuously switch houses due to the divorce and never really settle in one place. Bouncing from place to place, everyone arguing about the other, I had no real place to call home. I had family, friends, but there was no single land that was home.

Home is where the heart is, where there are people waiting for you, and right now… I didn't have that. I just want my family. I want hugs and cuddles and burrowing under blankets, watching Steven Universe with my brother. Having Clara yell at me for crying over an anime or TV show, saying that I owed her another dollar for shedding tears, or having Dad nag me aggravatingly for something or other…

I just want someone.

"Why does she have to look so much like her!?"

Darkness. Peering into a room lit only by a yellow lamp, mother hunched over at her desk with her face buried in her hands. Crying to herself, a phone on speaker.

"It's all there…! She even draws like her, Mom. It's like the Lord is mocking me…"

"Irene isn't Maria… God was probably taking pity on you, giving you a child like her to help with the grief."

"It just makes it worse! It's been ten years and it still hurts. I love my children, but it hurts to look at Irene."

I'm sorry. Fingers dug into a shirt, my thirteen-year-old feet backing up slowly, long hair falling into my face. I ducked my head, turning around and quietly walking away. Heading into the bathroom, I opened the cabinets and stood on the rims of the inside, trying to look into the mirror. I stared at my reflection, chocolate hair a mess and even falling into the sink. Do I really look that much like her?

I was too little to remember her face. Only the barest trace of glimmering hazel eyes reached my memory, but even that was hard to imagine. Was it my long hair that reminded them of her? I didn't have any freckles and my eyes were too brown; I was a little frail, but much wider than the descriptions they gave of her.

I've seen pictures of her, but… I can't see any resemblance.

Am I supposed to be like her?

What aspect of my personality or appearance was "me"?

Who am I?

Hopping down from the sink, my feet hit the floor- or, it had before the floor beneath me gave way and I was falling into light, a scream erupting from my lips as tendrils wrapped around my legs, pulling me further down. More memories flashed by, of the self-hate and confusion, of the suffering under the people I lived with, of the endless questions I had about the sister I never really knew.

My existence. If father would still be alive by the time I graduated High School, or if we would ever learn what truly happened to Maria. If my friendship with anyone would ever really last.

If there was a reason why Maria was taken and not me. It would be easier to kidnap a toddler, right? So why did they steal a nine-year old?

As I fell into the light, white wrapping higher upon my legs, trailing to my waist and tugging down insistently, I could only struggle. The Light seemed to envelop my senses, pulling me deeper into the fray and underneath the clouds of white. I was sinking further in, heart breaking and tearing apart as more emotions swept in and overwhelmed me. The memories, the feelings, the thoughts- all keep rushing forth, the voices of home there beside me yet just out of reach, vanishing before I could call out to them.

Everything that was there was now gone, lost, and I was alone.

Alone in a sea of memories, a chain of connections threatening to break. My heart struggled against the hurt, suffocating from the feelings that seeing my loved ones brought. I hate this. I hate… all of this… I hate being alone. I hate being torn away from everyone I care about. I want… I want it to end.

I don't want to be by myself anymore.

Opening my eyes, vision blurred by the tears, I blindly reached out. It was a pointless maneuver, the white stretching up to my chest and preventing escape, but I was scared and I wanted out. I didn't want to be here anymore.

I'm scared…

I was nearly swallowed whole by this point, only my face and the arm I was using to reach unobscured by the light. Strangling a sob, I tried to struggle. Anywhere but here would be fine; just somewhere away from these painful memories and back where I could hold onto someone. Back where warmth was.

Before long, all that was left as visible on my face was a single brown eye, dotted with specks of silver, and golden tendrils slithering like veins onto the white. My body had gone numb, and unable to hold my arm up anymore I sank under, falling into the abyss of suffocating white.

"-were you thinking?"

Just before my hand sunk under completely, pale and slender fingers gripped tightly around my wrist. It pulled with such strength my head was able to resurface and I coughed, wheezing and gasping as my hand went lifeless in the woman's hold. I couldn't see the woman, my eyes blinded by the light, but I could feel her heart.

Something strong… something bright… and something very dark.

"Listening to some manipulative ass you just met. I swear, when this over I'll kill you myself. So wake the fuck up!"

The darkness that was determined to not let me be used; that argued with me to not be foolish. That dove into my heart to save me from death. The darkness that went so far as to buy me a magic ring so I would not fall so easily into the black. The person… the woman… who was supposedly my sister.

And, even if she's not exactly what I imagined her to be… she was still there. She was there when I needed help. And she is here now.

She's violent and angry, but that's because she was hurting… and I think, with the way she got mad at me earlier, she was trying to stop me from becoming hurt, too.

Maria was not the sister I imagined, but if she is my sister… that in and of itself is enough.

With a desperate cry for survival, I reached up and clasped my hands around her wrist. Eyes, silver and gold, shimmering with bottled up magic and fearful determination, I pulled myself out of the deadly abyss of white. There was a flash of light and then- as the mist around me dispersed- I found myself standing upon a glass mosaic platform of green and blue, with a long staff in my hands.

The cold metal was surprisingly smooth against the palms of my hands, the length of the golden rod long and firm. Small rings encircled the shaft of the staff at different intervals, both decorative yet simple. The top was adorned with a large metal circlet, the small rings wrapped on different places, and much larger rings hung loosely from it, dangling freely and swaying with each movement of the staff. A curving, decorative heart rested in the center of the circlet, it's top and bottom held in place by several gleaming orbs connecting it to the ring around it.

Polished and shining in brilliant whites and golds- it was a soft and almost delicate looking staff, and I would have mistaken it as such if it weren't for its weight and the raw… power I could feel flowing underneath the metal casting. Out of sheer curiosity, I swung it around a few times to test its weight. It was a little heavy, leaving me struggling to hold it with my trembling hands, but overall it felt nice.

Almost like it was molded specifically for my hands to wield it. There was a strange warmth radiating from it, an odd sensation flowing through my fingers and touching my heart, and I couldn't help but think about how cheesy the design was and how fitting it was for someone like me. Simple, but still a little out there.

Being a little childish, I moved about the platform and swung the staff, listening to the jangling of the rings and the swish sounds the weapon would make due to the way it hit the wind. As I stepped along the glass, spinning the staff experimentally in my hands in a bit of a giddy, amused fashion, I paused when I came across the face of a young boy. Looking down at the platform I was on, I could make out the face of a child around thirteen or fourteen.

My eyes widened when I realized I recognized this figure; with his messy blond hair and light colored lashes. The attitude the image gave off due to his crossed arms. Setting the tall staff down beside me as I knelt down, I reached out and touched the picture, stunned from this discovery. "You're… Michael…"

Why is he here? He was just a fictional character I dreamed up- with the three good fairies, Yen Sid, and Mickey Mouse; he was a boy who lived and died, who had watched his best friend die, who had… been taken away to learn magic. He was the spitting image from the dream of the woman's death, with the long yellow sleeves and the black short-sleeved top unbuttoned over it. He isn't supposed to be real…

Scooting closer to his visage, I ran my fingers lightly along the glass, wondering if any of this was actually real and if I was in a coma-induced hallucination. If this was real and this was my "heart" as Zexion had said, then did that make that vision of Maria real? Was Mickey Mouse real?

Oh gods, I'm really falling into insanity, aren't I?

"I-I don't… understand…"

"That's because you only just started to learn."

The voice spoke without warning and in my shock I nearly fell backwards, shooting up onto my feet quickly and scrambling to pick up the khakkhara- monk staff- and hold it defensively in front of me as I tried to locate the unfamiliar voice. It was a soft voice, gentle, and yet held a certain tone of authority to it.

Trying to summon as much courage that Miroku from Inuyasha would have, I stumbled around trying to locate any person. Unfortunately, all I saw was darkness- an infuriating white light in my peripheral vanishing every time I turned. "Wh-Who are you!? Where are you!? I-I have a-a… staff thing, and I'm not afraid to use it!"

Yes. Yes, I was. I was freaking terrified. I was never really one to be scared of the dark, but more of what was lurking in its shadows.

"The path of the Keeper is not a joyous one. It is often wrought with despair."

"What?" I continued to look around, searching desperately through the darkness surrounding me and trying to locate the person who was speaking. I could see nothing in the endless black, the only thing visible being the light illuminating the glass platform I was on. Circling around one more time, I let out a squeak and jumped back when frost began to form at the edge. Ice slowly crafted its way down the white-and-black checkered rim, through the circular paintings, until it reached the blank teal center.

"You will be tested again and again. Lives will undoubtedly be lost."

As the frost continued to spread, coating the glass, a ball of light began to shine through the darkness. It floated towards the rim of the platform where the ice had first appeared, before it gradually began to change shape into something more… humanoid. As the light dimmed a single white boot stepped onto the ice, a new layer of frost seeming to burst out and adding more to what had already formed. The figure- a young girl barely older than me- walked out.

She was thin, her body adorned with a silvery blue coat covered with frost. Underneath appeared to be a dress, colored with differents hues and shades of silvers and light blues, and dark leggings made out of lace. It was as if she were meant to be the embodiment of winter itself, the blue eyes shining out from underneath the hood as cold and quiet as ice. When she moved it was with a purpose, each step along the ice creating more layers of frost that splintered out and went in different directions.

The bottoms of my feet were beginning to burn from having to stand on such cold ice.

She stared at me, curiosity buried deep in those frigid eyes. The girl stopped in the middle of where the teal glass should have been located, but it was now buried in a thick coating of ice. She tilted her her head, observing me silently. Her pale lips formed into a tight frown and she raised her left hand out in front of her; a flash of light nearly blinding me when suddenly there it was- a scepter colored in silver and covered with frost. Only the rim near the top was gold, connecting to a single blue orb the color of the sky.

"As the new Light it is your duty to support the Dark," The girl spoke, voice smooth and eerily calm. She raised the staff in the air above her head, waving it around in a circular motion, the wind around us beginning to pick up as the temperature continued to drop multiple degrees. Her expression hardened, voice raising and sounding rather angry as she shouted, "but there's no point to it if you can't even protect yourself!"

I let out a shout as the gust of wind sent me stumbling to the side, eyes wide with horror as I was nearly sent tumbling over the edge of the platform. I waved my arms frantically, almost dropping the staff I was holding in my panic, and thrust my body back just in time to avoid falling into the black abyss.

"Will yours be one of them?"

Violence was not my thing; I have said this time and time again. Every time I show an act of violence, however unintentional, I always felt incredibly guilty after. I hated hurting people and I hated people being hurt. Yet this this person, whom I have never met before until now, literally just tried to knock me off into a seemingly endless pit of black.

I'm not sure as to what exactly was going on or if this was what Zexion was talking about when he said it would be up to me whether or not I return, but I knew one thing for certain; this girl was trying to kill me. My heart raced fearfully in my chest and my breath hitched in my throat for just a moment, panic welling up inside me as I tried to figure out how to get out of this situation. It wasn't the first time someone tried to kill me- there was my meeting with Axel, then the kitchen scene with Larxene… and then I almost died from natural causes.

But each time there was someone there to save me. I was all alone here.

The blizzard began to get stronger, snow appearing out of thin air and covering the ice on the platform. I reacted poorly to the drastic weather change, barefoot and wearing short sleeves, and as such my movements were slowed and I was left a shivering cold mess. Th-Th-Think! H-How can I ge-get away from here!?

There has to be some way. I don't want to fight her.

Ouch! A small gasp escaped me and I stumbled, legs catching against the thick snow that was building up. I barely caught my balance in time, but then I felt another prick against my skin- and another, and another- shards of ice soaring through the misty white blizzard and slicing at my flesh sporadically. Red droplets splattered onto stark white, and a particularly heavy gust of wind caused me to fall forward and collapse into the freezing snow. I-It hurts! S-So-So c-c-c-cold!

I'm scared. I'm really really scared.

My body didn't want to move anymore. More shards of ice sliced away at me, frost forming from where my flesh had been cut, and frost began to spread over my skin. I was starting to feel dizzy, numb to the point where the cold began to turn into a deadly warmth. I knew it was bad; I knew I wasn't going to last long.

I had just gotten to a point where I could live without thinking I might die from a sudden breathing attack and now… I was going to be killed. I never even… I never even got to learn if Maria was truly my sister. The vision of her as a child made me wonder, but… it was not a confirmation. I would never learn how she became the way she was- who hurt her to the point of her turning into such an angry person.

I don't even think she was all that bad. She had given me a ring to protect me from darkness and… made me swear to her… as if she was scared I would end up on the same path she had been on. Maria was scary, yes, and violent… but in her own way she was kind.

I sort of wanted to see more of that side. Especially since it was her voice I heard… that had pulled me from the light. She was always frowning, always glaring, always threatening others; it was as if she didn't know how to be happy. Maria looked at her surroundings as if something would jump out at her, ready for a fight. I… I don't like that. I don't like seeing that expression on her face.

I want… My fingers tightened their grip on the staff, expression contorted into pain, to see her happy.

Though my body had turned numb and I couldn't feel anything aside from the horrible warmth I was sinking into and drowning in, a determination began to burn inside of me. A fire, a desperation to keep going. To live. As I thought about the vision of her I had seen and the way she looked now, something inside of me snapped.

And then, as if unscrewing a cork, an energy that had been left untouched for so long, that had been piling up and producing but unable to release, finally erupted. It was bright and blinding, hot and burning, and so full of pure emotion that the platform itself began to shake; the ground tearing itself apart in a way that it did not harm me, but it completely shattered the ice and swallowed up the snow that had tried to destroy me.

…

Axel's sputters broke through the silence, his hollow laughter filling the air. Marluxia even seemed to find the young scientist's statement amusing, raising a hand up to hide his chuckle. The redhead's bitterness only grew, disbelief on his features as he pointed at the ginger giant beside the short Nobody's side. "You're placing that kid in the same rank as Lex!? Are you serious right now?"

"I agree." Marluxia spoke, a smirk gracing his lips. "That's an even more outrageous statement than insinuating we have hearts."

"Which we don't." Xigbar said, grinning ear-to-ear, gesturing to the girl on the table and then to Lexaeus. "She's so emotional for a Human- there's no way she shares the same affinity as the big guy. He's as tough as tough gets; you lay a hand on the girl and she'll break like a twig!"

Zexion just fixed them with a dark glare, aware that they were insulting him. He should have known better than to play along with their little game, but there was no getting rid of the other members anytime soon and he and Vexen required silence in their workspace in order to properly concentrate on recreating the notes. "It has nothing to do with strength. Her personality merely-"

"Yeah, yeah." The sharpshooter waved him off with a roll of an eye. "What do you think, Lexaeus? Water or Earth?"

The Stalwart Taciturn, also known as the Silent Hero, did not respond. Arms crossed over his broad chest, he gave the older member a cold stare as if to tell him to behave. Vexen sighed irritably, rubbing his temples in an attempt to ease his headache. "No matter what her element is," the mad scientist began, "there's no meaning to discussing this if she does not wake up."

Luxord nodded his head in agreement. Demyx frowned, eyebrows knitting together as he stared at the girl on the table. The glow surrounding her body seemed to have dimmed some, the darkness surrounding Maria's arms stretching out to take over Irene's light. It stayed like that for a few moments, all the Organization members in the room watching… and waiting.

"She will survive." The iron strong voice rang out, finally speaking his opinion. Everyone looked at Lexaeus in surprise, watching as his blue eyes focused on the sleeping forms of the girls. "They both will."

And that was when it happened; the light around Irene's body brightened- causing the Nobodies' to avert their eyes in order to avoid being blinded. It was overwhelming, especially since they were all more accustomed to the darkness. It grew brighter and warmer, and then Maria's heart reacted. To avoid being snuffed out the darkness fought, pushing against the light, fighting for its survival. The forces clashed, neither giving in, until the glows dimmed back into their natural state.

Demyx was the one who spoke next, startled by what occurred. "Wh… What just happened?"

…

Brown eyes shifted into silver and molten gold, tendrils of light tearing out of the staff and melting all of the ice and snow that had threatened to consume whatever had been in its path. Columns of dirt and earth ripped out of the seemingly glass platform, forming sloppily-made pillars that towered above us. Every step I took, every breath I inhaled and let go, every thought that was made was mimicked by the crumbling debris of rocks and the formation of more earthen towers.

Fear and desperation coursed through me, an overwhelming sensation of pure energy flooding my senses. My mind was racing, yet everything seemed to be happening so slow. The girl dashed directly towards me, lethal shards of ice materializing in the air and being directed towards me. Each one was now aimed directly for my body, but the majority of them had been blocked by the many protective walls that now surrounded us. I was dizzy and I was still incredibly cold, and droplets of blood splattered onto the platform as I ran… but I could still move.

I was driven by panic and nothing more. Adrenaline and power rushed through me, guiding me, and before I knew what was happening the girl was across from me. Her scepter sliced through the air without warning and I let out a loud gasp, eyes wide as a loud metal CLANG rang out. Her weapon had come into contact with the base of my staff, blocking her attack.

I could feel her pushing against me, shoving me back with her strength, and frost began to spread from her scepter onto my staff. It creeped along the base, growing until it had nearly reached my hands. As the barest traces of ice brushed my fingertips I made a rash decision and dropped my staff, ducking with a small shriek and then ramming myself into her stomach. For someone who probably had years of battle experience she didn't really seem like she had expected someone without that same training to do such a thing.

We toppled to the floor, her scepter clattering out of her hand, and then suddenly she was grabbing my hair. A scream ripped out of my throat and I shouted, struggling as frost began to form once more on to my skin. She kicked her legs, hitting me hard in the ribs as I clawed at her hands. A couple curses escaped her lips, and feeling the frost beginning to seep into my bones as it spread along my face I decided to grab one arm and- ignoring the pain- forcefully moved my head and bite into her arm.

"-shit! Fuck, ow!" The girl screeched and threw me off. I rolled on the ground, wincing as pain blossomed all over my wounded body. My foot hit a nearby pillar and I winced, struggling to push myself up. Through blurred vision I could make out the girl leaning down to pick up her fallen scepter. "Damn it…"

This isn't good. Oh gods. Breathe, breathe, calm down- what to do? Her scepter can shoot ice and snow, right? That must be her "element" or "affinity" that everyone kept going on about. And if these giant towers of earth are any indication… that must be mine. If she can spread ice from her feet and hands, but create a freaking blizzard by waving her scepter around… can my staff do something like that?

It's a lot longer and definitely shaped a lot more cheesily than hers, but it has to be good for something. I need to get to it. Ah, but how? It's behind her. Blinking a few times, little snowflakes fell from my lashes. I could feel the frost melting away as I stood, silver and gold still coloring my view. Heat radiated from my body, reminding me of the time I had burned Vexen's hand.

The feeling was the same, but it was also… different. Back then it had been due to Maria as a conduit that allowed me to use fire, right? Then this time it's because of me. This is my magic. If we go by what little I remember of Xemnas' explanation, Maria and I are two halves of the same whole- two sides of a coin- but are still so vastly different.

She was fire and passion, and darkness itself. She was determination and strength.

I was desperation and fear, and extremely uncertain about a lot of things. I was weak.

But the longer I remained in this place the more I came to realize something through all this madness. Falling like I had and being put through so much in what felt like such a short amount of time...

I was light.

I felt awful for hurting the mad scientist after he threatened me and most of my anger towards the Organization for kidnapping me was mostly over the fact that Xigbar and Axel had attacked me and my friends. I was upset for being taken from my world, but I wasn't mad at anyone for it. I had willingly followed Zexion through the portal because in that moment he was the only who hadn't came off as threatening or cruel. He didn't hurt anyone.

And I didn't want to risk seeing him do so.

He was capable of it, I was certain of this; everyone in the Organization was capable of harm. I just tried to turn a blind eye to it. In this situation it was the only thing I could do… because I was just a kid. A sixteen-year-old kid that was abducted, told she was some important being of Light that needed protection, and was forced to live in a castle. There I was threatened, confused, and… scared.

I nearly died in a Corridor of Darkness, I burned Vexen, I summoned a Corridor of Light… and I nearly drowned in my own heart twice. And now here I was back on the platform, face-to-face with a person of unknown origin. She felt like someone I should know, but I didn't recognize her at all. A part of me wondered if she was one of the previous Keepers of Light, but I brushed it off because why would she be attacking me then? The snow, the ice, and the cold rage within her eyes…

It just didn't make sense why she would be essentially attacking her successor.

I hadn't accepted the truth then. The facts that were staring me right in the face. It wasn't until after I had been bleeding out, trapped in a blizzard of the girl's own making, that everything really hit me. The container inside me that snapped, releasing all the pent up power that had been buried for years. The sheer rush of magic and adrenaline that rushed through me… and the pillars of earth that erupted out of the shaking platform.

Everything just made sense then.

Even the possibility of Maria being my older sister. The memories I had been forced to watch, the sheltered sickly life I had lived, all of it made sense.

Magic was real. Nobodies existed.

I was one of the Keepers of Heart.

And this woman wanted to kill me.

You know what? Screw it. I still have enough energy rushing through me to move and how much more banged up can I get? From the looks of it the girl can't do much without her weapon anyway; she may be a bit physically stronger than I am and be able to make frost come out from her fingertips, but without her staff we're almost evenly matched. So long as I keep her scepter away from her I stand a chance.

I don't want to hurt her, o-or… anything else, but I won't let her kill me. I don't want to die.

I'll make her surrender.

And with that thought in mind I charged, running as fast as I could barefoot against the platform. The girl turned, spinning on her heel, and quickly jumped out of the way. I yelped, hands hitting air, and I twisted my body sideways to stumble backwards. Lucky thing I did, too, for the way she was aiming her scepter she would have sliced straight clean through my side. "Ha!" I let out a nervous laugh, falling to a stop as I breathed heavily.

"You're weak." The girl muttered as she got into a stance, watching me with narrowed eyes. "It's pathetic."

Still trying to catch my breath, I stood up and placed a hand on my waist, waving my right in the air. A familiar burn was beginning to build inside my chest from all the running I had been doing. Even though my lungs had been fixed, my stamina still wasn't the greatest. This cold air wasn't helping very much either. "You know… that's just not very nice? I… I'm not… a fighter, thank you very much! N-No need to be rude."

"Hmph. And you think you can withstand the dark?"

"Honestly?" I breathed, placing a hand on my chest to try and calm my racing heart. A small grin spread across my face, a bit crazed from the current events, as I said, "I really don't. But hey- that's why I'm here, ain't it?"

The girl didn't seem to like my witty response very much. It only seemed to aggravate her more. With each step the glass got encased in a thin sheen of ice and the woman lunged forward with her staff like it was a blade. With the way the tip was… well, it really felt like a rapier. I shrieked, sucked in my stomach, and jumped back. I found myself suddenly really grateful for my expert dodging skills because holy frick my shirt now has a cut in it, but my stomach is otherwise alright.

This was far more lethal than dodgeball, but I was relieved to see that I was still able to avoid the majority of her hits. I always managed to avoid being hit during gym class, even when I was by myself against a team of twenty-two people. It was strange and I wasn't even sure how I pulled off some of the moves I did, especially when I would trip and fall just in time to avoid a ball sailing directly over my head, but my team had been cheering and my teacher got annoyed because I wasn't throwing balls back. Perhaps it had something to do with my "abilities" as a Keeper of Light, or maybe I was just good at being a coward…

But regardless of the reason, this girl had landed way more blows when she had been using the ice shards against me.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see my staff. It was just a few feet away, a bit frosted over from the earlier clash with the girl's scepter, and would probably work in properly blocking the attacks. Unfortunately, my expertise in swordfighting or… staff usage… was more in the stabbing area than the blocking.

I wouldn't do very well against the girl if I tried to battle with weapons. Still, the staff had multiple rings on it and if I could get the blade caught in one of them… or even the large decorative heart…

"Oh gods, oh gods, ice, ice, ice! No!" I shrieked and waved my arms around wildly as I stepped on some of the glass that had been frozen over, sliding along it blindly. I closed my mouth quickly not long after screaming, not intent on biting my tongue off. I grew lightheaded after a few moments of spinning, stomach churning uncomfortably, and before I knew what had happened my face had rammed hard into one of the many earthen pillars.

Tears stung my eyes and I staggered sideways, a hand over my bleeding nose. It wasn't broken, but it hurt a lot. Freaking heck, man! Ugh. Wait, crap, run! Run! I tried to move, but ended up slipping on the ice again and falling on my front. The girl finally decided let out another barrage of shards, slicing through my clothes and cutting into my flesh as I hurried to cover my neck and face.

Stop.

Her footsteps were getting closer, the frozen glass getting covered with another layer of ice. Frost started to build up on my legs. I could hear her heels clacking against the ground. Closer. Closer.

No…

She was running now. Scepter raised high in the air, pointed tip ready to slice through me and end my existence.

Fear, rage, desperation. Thoughts of Maria and the idea how pointless the people saving me would have been if I were to die now raced through my head. I needed that staff; I needed something to block the attack; I can't fall here! I needed to do something, anything; now!

As I raised my arms up in the air to cover my face there was a flash- a blinding white light that was followed closely by a loud irritating CLANG! Warm metal pressed against my palms, my fingers wrapping instinctively around the base of the staff, and then I was pushing against a weight that was trying to cut me down, my back pressed against the ground. "Get… away… from me!"

"You're going to die!" The girl hissed, the air around us turning a bit misty as a fog settled in from the sheer cold of the area. "You're just a useless brat that doesn't even know how to fight! How are you supposed to protect yourself!?"

"Shut up!"

Not knowing what else I do reached up and kicked her hard in the kneecap. To both my guilt and satisfaction the girl let out a pained screech and toppled over, leg bent at an ugly angle. Her staff fell out of her hand and she cried out, knee popped out of place. "Fucking- agh!"

The girl reached down to relocate her leg back into place, but I didn't stay around to watch.

Determined to get the weapon away I lunged, slipping and sliding against the ice towards the fallen scepter. My assailant looked up in time to watch me grab her scepter, and as I slid away between a few earthen columns (not really having control over where I was moving) I could feel the frost and cold burning the flesh on my palm. I held on as long as I could until I was close enough and then- with a desperate wave I hurled the weapon over the edge of the platform.

It toppled into the black abyss below… and I crashed into another earthy pillar.

World spinning and vision blurred, silver and gold specs now gone, I shakily stood and gripped my staff tight in my hands. I faced the girl who was now attempting to stand on her sore, swollen leg. There was no doubt that she'd be unable to move very well now thanks to my retaliation; this was actually to my advantage. She now had a handicap.

Stepping a few feet closer nervously, I looked around. The platform was a mess. Blood and dirt and ice was everywhere. Water from the melted snow and puddles of red covered the once beautiful stained glass. I tried to think of a course of action to take, but I honestly had no idea what to do now. The girl was already wounded and I don't think she'd be able to put up much of a fight anymore. I couldn't run away, either, without falling to my death.

I don't want to hurt her again.

Maybe… Maybe we can talk? Hopefully. Um.

"I-I'm sorry…" I flinched when she sent a glare in my direction and I held my staff close to my chest. Biting down on my lip I hesitated before speaking again. "I-I didn't want to fight you, okay!? Can't we just talk things out? W-We're b-both pretty roughed up, s-so… I mean… yeah. Can't we count this as a draw?"

Feeling something drip on my chin reminded me of my bloody nose. I reached up and pinched it, making a face as I wiped the blood away with my other arm. Disgusting. Gods, I was going to need a serious shower.

"Wh-Why are you even trying to kill me? I don't know you; I never did anything to you that I know of. U-unless I did… in which case I would like to know what it was! M-Maybe I can make up for it? By… doing something that doesn't include my death?" I aimed for a smile, praying it looked friendly. My heart was still racing inside my chest, but I really wanted to try to diffuse the situation. "H-Hey! Maybe we could be friends? Friends are cool! Eeeey, "cool" like ice! How cool is that!? I'm Irene! What's your name? Wow, you're really pretty with your hood down!"

It was true. She had long curly ginger locks that fell into her freckled face. The girl was very petite.

"Redheads are always so pretty; heck, Maria is kinda a redhead with her auburn hair! Both my other siblings are blond, though… I'm actually the only one with brown eyes, did you know that? Probably not, but now you do. Do you have any siblings? I'm the shortest out of mine."

She didn't answer. I made a face and tried again, setting my staff on the ground to attempt a peace offering. The girl was still struggling to stay upright as she glared daggers at me.

"Okay… I'm going to assume not. But that's okay! Not everyone has siblings. A lot of people who do have siblings tend not to get along with theirs; I mean, I didn't when I was little, buuuut then around Middle School we all kinda grew a bit close. I'm closer with my brother than my sister, and there's Maria who I didn't even know until recently and it turns out she's the Keeper of Darkness? I mean, if that Maria is my Maria, and I'm pretty certain she is… it's weird. This whole situation is weird and wow I'm kinda dizzy. Haha. Whoooa… that's a lot of blood."

I didn't know I had that much blood. Humans are weird. I don't like bodies. Bodies are gross. Humans are gross. Human fluids are gross. Blood was okay, I guess, but saliva? Saliva, sweat, and even skin to a certain point. I just don't like bodies.

I can appreciate them on an artistic level, and be able to consider a person attractive to a certain point, but when I start to take into consideration the actuality of a human body and think about everything else it's just… nasty. I have no interest in it. Oh…

The blood on my hands actually looks a little like paint. Haha. It feels warm and rather sticky. Now I can consider blood as gross. I tried to wipe them off on my jeans.

I spun in a little circle, taking in the sights. How high up did the black sky go? Only the platform and everything on it was highlighted. So strange. Oh, wait, actually, there's a light! A big red light really far up in the sky. What is it? "Are all hearts like this? How do they work? Is it a mental thing or is it, like, what all magic hearts look like? Heeeyyy… you know what's funny?"

The girl's expression finally changed. Her eyebrows knit together as I looked at her, tears stinging my eyes.

"I really miss my family… s-so why aren't I mad about being stolen from them? I should be mad, right? But, like, I'm really not? It's so weird. I love 'em and I miss 'em, but I just… I'm not mad?" My voice cracked a little and I knit my eyebrows together, dazed and finding it difficult to speak my thoughts/feelings aloud. There had been the argument with Axel, but that… wasn't really about this. "I'm just... ticked 'cause a bunch of weird stuff is happening and they hurt some people. But me? N-No. No, I don't get it. It's so silly. Like, why?"

I knew the reason. But I couldn't believe it. I didn't understand it. I just wanted someone to confirm it. To tell me what I already figured out.

The girl tilted her head, reaching a gloved hand back to pull her hood back up. Expression darkening, the girl extended her arm out and with a flash of light her scepter was back in her hold. I blinked, startled, and then mentally berated myself for having not realized that could happen when I had done the very same thing earlier.

"Because." The girl started, hitting her wounded foot against the ground a couple of times before bursting into a run. "You left willingly!"

Weak and dizzy from blood loss, I was unable to move as fast as I had done before. I managed to spin out of the way, using the heel of my bare foot to balance, and then landed on the palm of my other foot, but the girl had still managed to nick me. The tip of her scepter sliced through my side, slashing against the already torn cloth and cutting into the small wounds I already had.

I fell back, blindly reaching out for the staff I had set down, and waved it in front of me frantically in hopes something would happen. I knew I had unlocked my magic, the earthen pillars were proof of it; I just didn't know how to use it. The energy boost I had earlier was now gone and some of the adrenaline had left me. I could feel all the pain coursing through my bruised and battered body.

And let me tell you- it hurt.

I was scared. My staff managed to hit her leg again- her bad one- and she grit her teeth and glared, and not knowing what else to do I scrambled onto my feet and bolted. The girl let out another wave of shards and I slid to hide behind a pillar, but the ice I was on suddenly decided to grow. It crept up my legs and caused me to fall, leaving me trapped on my back as the bottom half of my body became frozen to the ground.

It was a miracle I had even survived this long, so Luxord must have been onto something when he spoke about Lady Luck… but now I've run out. I could barely even breathe, let alone see my opponent. The cold air hurt and the loss of so much blood made it difficult to focus. I could feel my skin absorbing the cold, the ice and frost stealing away any warmth. At this rate…

At this rate I was going to die. The ice continued to creep up my waist, snow slowly drifting down from the sky and onto us. I was shivering, freezing cold. Even my hand that held the staff was trapped, so I had no means to defend myself. All I could do was stare at the top of the girl's scepter, the stranger standing over me with eyes filled with fury.

"Why do you resist?" She demanded. "You know not of what you are or what those people want with you. You are a being of light, made to heal the worlds and their people. Are you truly prepared to face what lies ahead? Why would you rather live and face hardship than accept a merciful death? Why do you fight? Why do you try to pacify your enemies?"

Wh...What?

I sat there for a long moment, breathless and uncertain as to what she was talking about. It hurt to think or just lie there, the ice so cold it was starting to burn my flesh. A small fog could be seen whenever I exhaled or tried to speak. My gaze met the girl's and my heart caught in my throat, fear beginning to overwhelm me. As the rest of the adrenaline went away my body erupted with intense, excruciating pain and I choked. "I-I don't… I don't know…"

The ice crept further up my body, covering my torso and stretching up to my shoulders. The girl's expression hardened and she held the scepter closer to me, the pointed tip just centimeters from my throat. For a horrible moment I thought she was going to slit it open. "Then answer me this, Irene. Even if it meant being hurt, being betrayed… or being lied to… would you still allow yourself to get close to someone?"

Wh… Why is she asking me this?

She's going to kill me. She wants to kill me.

Does it have anything to do with the Organization or Maria?

I don't want to die.

The girl shoved the scepter closer and I shrieked, leaning my head back as the pointed tip dug into the flesh of my throat, drawing a little pinprick of blood. I gasped, lips curled back and teeth ground together, my eyes squeezed tightly shut in fear. "Answer me!"

"Y-Yes! I-I would! I would! J-Just-Just d-don't kill me, please!" The tears couldn't be held back any longer. The pain, the torment, the cold, the fear… it was all too much. I had never been put through anything like this before and honestly it was overwhelming. I didn't want to die. "I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Let me go. I didn't want to hurt you. I'm sorry. I don't know what I did to you to make you act like this- I'm sorry- but please just stop.

The girl stared down at me, a small scoff escaping her lips, before she stepped back and lowered the scepter to her side. She then looked down at her right hand, a strange expression crossing her face. The ice began to melt away and I collapsed, landing roughly on the ground. "Even though it would tear you apart inside…? Doesn't that bother you?"

An unhealthy amount of blood continued to ooze out of my wounds, staining the colorful glass.

"Hmph." The girl rolled her eyes. "You really are a weakling. Here."

She raised her staff again and pointed it at me. I flinched out of reflex, having believed her about to deliver the finishing blow, when suddenly I was wrapped up in a warmth. A green glow enveloped my body and my wounds began to disappear, flesh closing in on itself. A few moments passed and I opened my eyes, wondering what just happened as exhaustion washed over me.

"...And you may refer to me as Holly."

I turned to look down at my injuries, stunned by how they were just gone. My clothes were still ripped and the blood stains remained, but I was no longer wounded. It was incredible. I was a little sore and definitely dizzy, yet there was no more pain. I went to say something to the girl, to thank her for whatever it was she did despite her having tried killing me, but…

She was nowhere to be found. It was just me, my staff, and the creepy little black shadows in the distance that appeared to be crawling out of the ground.

...Wait, what?

No. No, there was definitely creepy little black shadows crawling out of the ground. Little antennas on the top of their heads twitched as their heads bobbed back-and-forth to look around. They had big beady yellow eyes and chubby stomachs, hands and feet long and pointy. Claws.

My movements were sluggish as I raised a hand up, wiping off the tears on my face, and I used my staff to help me stand. The heart inside my chest ached and felt as though it was being weighed down, and I found it hard to remain upright. It was like… moving through water. Muggy. Slow. It made sense because I was tired and my muscles felt sore from all the moving around I had done, but this felt… different.

"Light begets darkness; there can not be one without the other.

But the shadows can not remain here."

Shadows?

One of the creatures turned their heads towards me. For a second I thought I could a hear a voice in the distance- not the one speaking to me or like the girl, Holly I think she said- but something… familiar. I was too tired to think to place it and instead focused on the creatures in front of me. They certainly looked like shadows- once they flattened themselves against the glass, at least.

Also like rabbits. Inky black shadow rabbits.

They stopped a few feet away from me, bright yellow eyes focusing intently on the golden flickering of my staff. I hummed to myself thoughtfully, noticing that they almost acted intimidated by it. Was I supposed to fight these things? Wait… shadows…

"The Heartless are born from the darkness of man's hearts.

Darkness has dove into your heart.

Use Heart's Remission; it is a staff designed by the strength and magic of your own heart. Quickly now! The longer the shadows remain the weaker you become!"

So they are Heartless after all! I'm not completely idiotic.

I took note of the voice said and looked down at my weapon, waving it in the air curiously. One of the creatures jumped back, antenna twitching fearfully for a few seconds. My staff had a name and it was supposed to reflect my heart? Well, no wonder it had a freaking heart for a design; I'm the biggest sap there is. Cheesiness and bad puns were my love.

But if that's the case… was it the same with Holly? Was she even a Keeper of Light? Who even knows anymore; I needed to focus. The man said that these Heartless were weakening me just by being here. I was already tuckered out, but a huge portion of that must be because of these guys.

I waved my staff around a bit more, deciding to test the waters a little longer and watching as the Heartless jumped back, and was about to try whacking them with the long piece of metal when suddenly I remembered- they were creatures that formed from the darkness of people's hearts. The darker the stronger.

What would happen if I destroyed them?

I would be finding out rather soon, because one of the Heartless seemed to have gotten over their fear and was now lunging through the air. Recalling what I had been told about how they like to steal hearts and seeing how quickly it was flying towards my face, I let out a shriek and swung the staff reflexively. The shadow creature smacked directly into the decorative heart in the middle of the circlet, light rippling off the golden curved edges and tearing the shadow creature apart as it flew back.

I watched in both horror and fascination as it just… evaporated into wispy black mist.

My attention snapped back to the other creatures, about fifteen to twenty of them surrounding me now. Their beady yellow bug eyes stared up at me, their inkly black tendrils of hands and antennas twitching. Some of them sunk into the ground and I panicked, stumbling back and waving my staff around wildly.

It managed to hit some of the Heartless that jumped into the air, the light from before tearing them apart and destroying them. I tried stomping at some of the ones who had sunk into the ground, their bodies flattened against the glass, but it had no effect. More Heartless began to form, taking on different and far more intimidating appearances, and they all had an insignia on them somewhere. A couple resembling little soldier men took more than one hit to take down and when I did destroy them a few hearts could be seen floating up in the air, disappearing into the darkness above.

A few shadows managed to slice my legs and I kicked at them, waving my staff around in another direction and sending light flying everywhere, but I was quickly growing overwhelmed. I was exhausted and sluggish, and there were just far too many of them to destroy all by myself. I wasn't even experienced in fighting and yet I had to not only deal with one boss battle, but now a huge swarm of enemies?

After managing to knock a few more away my attention was quickly caught by a Heartless that had just appeared from darkness. It was at least eight feet tall, round and as fat as could be. With big arms and chunky legs, its small head could barely be seen from underneath its little helmet. There's no way…

I'm not going to be able to destroy that thing. Unfortunately, it was heading directly towards me… and I really couldn't run in my current state. Not having any other options I swung my staff as hard as I could into its belly as it neared, but the object bounced off of it like it was nothing and then there was a large fist hitting me hard in the chest. A scream erupted from my throat as I went flying, my body slamming into a couple of shadows. Claws started to rake through my flesh, tearing away at my back in vengeance. "Agh-get off! Get off!"

I rolled onto my side and swung my arm, trying to get the creatures off of me. My chest and breathing hurt- as if one or two of my ribs were now bruised. The heartless clawed and scratched and bit, and more and more blood splattered and dripped. I finally managed to latch onto one's leg and threw it off of me, and then hit it hard with my staff. My movements were even slower now, more like I was trudging through mud than walking in water.

Is this… what it felt like in darkness? Was I even in darkness? The voice said it had entered my heart, but if that was the case shouldn't I be dying? Not because of my wounds, but because it was poison to my body?

The big guy charged at me again. I tried to run, or even just scramble away, but my legs gave out on me. Holly might have done something to heal my injuries earlier, but it did nothing for the loss of so much blood. Even now I was losing more and that was the problem. Unable to keep moving, I held the staff in front of me- praying that it would do something once it made contact.

Too many heartless. Too many bad guys. Too much exhaustion. Far too lightheaded.

I was done for.

As the violent creatures charged at me a huge wave of heat and flame erupted out of nowhere, enveloping the heartless. A loud enraged scream came from the back of the large bodied heartless, a young woman leaping through the air and running her blades through its back. "Back off!" Maria screeched, eyes bleeding red and black as the creature dissipated. Her voice, through gritted teeth, was a deep set snarl as she landed on the platform and twirled her blades in her hands. "Don't even think about it."

And suddenly… the darkness made sense.

At least, I was pretty sure it did.

Read and Review~ 3

Hopefully everyone is in character. Luxord is a bit tricky for me. I'm great with calculating characters or goofballs, but gamblers like Luxord and guys like Xaldin just really mess with me. XD

Yeah. Irene doesn't trust anyone, really. Like, she's comfortable around certain members and knows she can "rely" on them, but she knows they're lying about SOMETHING to her, or at least not telling her everything. Like in the first chapter- she totally "called" bullcrap on Xemnas. What are you guys' thoughts?