A/N: I wonder where all my readers went? I guess I lost them over the Christmas break. Ah well, thanks to those that are still reading and reviewing - glad to have you with me still :) Not that you're going to like this chapter, necessarily... Oops?
(For disclaimer,etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 31
Wade was mad at her. Zoe couldn't exactly say she blamed him for that, but she really wished he would calm down and be a little more reasonable, especially since things were about to get a whole lot worse before they got better.
Getting a PI to look into Carrie-Sue seemed like such a good idea at the time, though it wasn't long after that Zoe realised maybe she made a mistake. There was no maybe about it anymore, it definitely had been a very bad plan, not least because Wade was just so very mad about it.
"I could almost understand you thinkin' maybe this is something worth doin', maybe," he said as he paced up and down the gatehouse floor. "But Zoe, why in the hell would you do it behind my back?" he asked her, finally stopping walking right in front of where she was sat on the end of his bed. "Whatever made you think that was a good idea? You're supposed to be smarter than that!"
"I'm sorry," she told him, for what felt like the hundredth time already.
She had started apologising before they ever left town square to head home, AB promising to take good care of JT for them while they were 'talking things out.' So far there hadn't been a whole lot of talking, just pacing and yelling and apologies.
"It was just when we got that letter..."
"Uh-uh, no, when I got that letter," Wade corrected her, pointing a finger into his own chest. "In case you forgot, you never even met Carrie-Sue, so she sure as hell wasn't writing letters to you, sweetheart."
"Fine," said Zoe, getting a little mad herself when he spoke down to her like that. "When you got your letter from Carrie-Sue," she overemphasised on purpose, "it just made me think. She had to have a good reason to do what she did. A mother doesn't just abandon her child like that. She had to be desperate somehow, didn't she?"
Wade looked like he wanted to answer but didn't want to have to agree with Zoe if he could help it. In the end, he had no choice and they both knew it.
"I guess," he eventually admitted, sighing heavily. "I don't like to think about it so much. I mean, it wasn't like me and her were in love or anythin', but she was a good person. A little wild, a little crazy sometimes, but not bad, you know? No worse than the rest of us, anyhow."
"Exactly." Zoe nodded. "So, I thought if she was desperate then maybe she needed help," she said, looking down at her own hands fidgeting in her lap. "I was also thinking of JT. I mean, you're the best dad, Wade, the best," she said, glancing up at him then. "And I try to be the best I can be for him too. JT is so lucky in so many ways, but he... he doesn't have his mom and someday he's going to ask why. And you can tell him she left him, however you want, but wouldn't it be better if we... if you could tell him why?" she corrected herself, given how he had reacted before when she made herself part of something she had no right to.
To his credit, Wade looked as if he might feel bad about that now. Not bad enough to apologise, but still. He sighed again, ran his hand down his face, and then sat down heavily on the back of the couch.
"Okay, I admit, havin' something besides 'Momma didn't want you' to say when JT asks after her wouldn't be such a bad thing, but Zoe, you're missin' the point here. It was not your call. You don't get to go hirin' some private eye to go diggin' around in the life of my ex!"
"I know that!" she yelled back at him when he started getting loud about it again. "Wade, I can't keep repeating how sorry I am, but at the same time..." She stopped and shook her head before pressing on. "At the same time, you can't entirely blame me for thinking I have a part in JT's life. You do it all the time," she said, meeting his eyes then. "You call him 'our boy', you use 'we' way more than 'I'. You made me feel like a part of your family," she said, hating that her voice started to crack before she was done talking. "You did all that and now you get mad at me for acting as if I am a part of it. That's not fair."
She didn't want to cry. Zoe was so determined she wasn't going to, but she had to swipe away one tear that escaped before she could stop it. Wade did have a right to be at least a little mad that she kept the PI a secret, but he could not accuse her of acting on something that was so entirely none of her business when he was the one who pretty much made it her business all the damn time.
"I don't know what to do with any of this," Wade admitted, hands briefly covering his face. "I just... This is crazy," he said then, looking at Zoe. "I don't know when my life became so nuts that my girlfriend is hiring a PI to look into my son's mother behind my back!"
"Life has a way of throwing some serious curve balls," Zoe said softly, clearing her throat before she went on. "Wade, I know this is a lot, and I hate to make it worse, but there's actually more that I need to tell you."
"More?" he echoed, eyes wide at the very idea.
Zoe nodded. "The message I got from the PI, it was to tell me he had news. Obviously, he didn't give me the whole story, but the cliff notes version was enough to... It's pretty bad, Wade."
"Bad how?" he asked her, biting his lip, a sure sign that he was worried about what he was about to hear.
Zoe wished she could tell him he didn't have to be so concerned, but she wouldn't lie to him like that. It was bad, she had just said as much, and she really wished she didn't have to tell him.
"Carrie-Sue, she was living in New York for a while. You said she told you she was looking to get into acting, so I had the PI start there. He found information on her pretty fast, on a stage name she was using there, but he said it might be a while before he tracked exactly what had happened, why she left, where she went."
"We know where she went," Wade reminded her. "The letter came from France, that's where she is. Come on, doc, as bad as you're makin' this sound, at least we know she ain't dead."
"She is," Zoe said fast. "Or technically she is anyway. I think the phrase is 'dead woman walking' but maybe that's only in movies, I don't know," she said, shaking her head. "Wade, there was a hit out on Carrie-Sue."
"A hit?" Wade echoed. "What is this? Goodfellas?"
"More like The Godfather, only definitely not fictional," Zoe confirmed. "Like I said, I don't have all the details yet, but the messages the PI left... He said Carrie-Sue got caught up with bad people who wanted her gone. Best guess, she met a nice Italian guy someplace, got too close, maybe found out things she shouldn't know?" she said uncertainly. "The investigator can tell us more, but..."
"But you're tellin' me that Carrie-Sue, JT's momma, ran away to Europe because Don Corleone wanted to have her swim with the fishes?" asked Wade with wide and disbelieving eyes. "That is just..."
"It happens, Wade," Zoe insisted, even as he continued to be incredulous about it all. "Those movies seem crazy, I know, but these people exist. I lived in New York, trust me, I know."
It was a lot for him to take in, Zoe knew. Honestly, even being from the city, she was having some trouble with accepting that someone connected to those she loved was on some mob hit list. It had to be a hundred times worse for Wade who actually knew Carrie-Sue, who had some kind of relationship with her, even if it was mostly based on sex. She was JT's mother, come what may, there was no changing that either. To know she could never come home, even if she wanted to, it was probably killing Carrie-Sue by degrees too, but there was little she could do about it.
"I can't..." Wade ran a hand over his face and then started rubbing the back of his neck instead. "You sure about all this?" he asked Zoe then, as dumbfounded as she had ever seen him, but somewhat less mad, which was an improvement.
"I told you, I don't have all the details. The guy wanted me to call him back in the morning... which it almost is now," she noted, checking her watch, "but the facts are what they are, Wade. It's mob-related. That rarely means anything good."
He nodded to prove he understood that but didn't move any more than that or say a word. Zoe got up from the end of the bed and came to lean on the back of the couch beside him. Not for the first time in her life, she wondered what on earth she was supposed to say to make a person she cared for feel better. She had come to Bluebell to learn, to improve her bedside manner and her empathy for others. As far as Zoe had come these past months, as much as she loved Wade, she still had no clue where to begin in helping him with what he was feeling right now.
"There is a silver living," she said after a while, not surprised to see that incredulity back on Wade's face when he looked at her. "It's a small one, but still. At least you know that Carrie-Sue didn't abandon JT to be selfish or because she didn't want him. She left him with you for his safety, so that you could protect him. It means she loves her son, Wade, and one day, you'll be able to tell him that."
Zoe had her hand on Wade's shoulder and hoped that, along with what she was saying, at least made him feel a little better. If it was working, it certainly didn't show on his face at all, at least not at first.
Eventually, another huge sighed escape Wade and then he had his arm around Zoe, pulling her to him.
"I'm sorry, baby," he said, kissing the top of her head. "I know you were just tryin' to help in all this."
"I was," she confirmed, curling into him, "but you were right to be mad. I really should have talked to you about it instead of going behind your back. If it helps, when we call the PI back, I can put it on speaker, or I can just tell him he needs to tell you all the details instead of me?"
Wade shook his head. "I don't think I wanna hear it all the way he'd prob'ly tell it," he admitted. "You call, then tell me what he has to say, though I'm guessin' there ain't much more to it than what you already said, right?"
"Probably not, but we won't know until we ask."
"I guess what you said is right. At least she was doin' the right thing by JT. She didn't leave him just 'cause she wanted to. She had a damn good reason."
"Yes, she did," Zoe agreed. "But I don't think... well, it's your call," she said, lifting her head from Wade's shoulder to look at him, "but I'm not sure this is the kind of thing we should share with everybody," she said awkwardly.
"No, you're right on that," he agreed, nodding his head. "We'll keep it 'tween you and me, and then, someday, when JT's old enough to know, we'll tell him, I guess. Nobody else's business, far as I know."
Zoe agreed with that, putting her arms around Wade to hug him, kissing his cheek too. The past twenty-four hours had been way too intense, all told. First the concentrated effort to win The Bluebell Battle and the excitement of actually getting the prize money for Wade's bar, then the PI's call and the blow-up that followed. Zoe would be happy if they could avoid any more drama for a good long while, and yet, the moment she finished that thought her cell rang in her pocket making her jump.
"It's Annie Hattenbarger." Zoe frowned as she answered the call.
She felt all the blood drain out of her face as she listened to what Rose's mom had to tell her and by the time she was done with her call, Wade was looking worried for her too.
"What the hell happened now?" he asked, frowning hard.
"It's Rose," said Zoe, shaking her head. "Her appendix burst. She's in the hospital. I have to go," she said, racing for the door without a moment's hesitation.
"Hey," Wade went after her, catching a hold of her arm. "We have to go," he told her firmly, a slight smile tugging at his lips in spite of the circumstances. "Didn't you just get done tellin' me it's 'we' not 'I', doc?"
Zoe nodded her head and found a brief smile of her own before the tears streaked down from her eyes. The next moment she and Wade were rushing for the car and peeling out down the road, out of the plantation and off to Mobile to see Rose.
It seemed the drama was coming in waves tonight and they were just going to have to keep their heads above water as best they could until they reached calm seas again.
To Be Continued...
A/N2: Shout out to the lovely daisesndaffidols who inspired the idea of why Carrie-Sue abandoned JT (I don't mind admitting that when I started writing and posting this fic, I wasn't actually sure myself!)