Awesome Heroes, Just Like You and Me

by Kate Marley

Ficlets about various countries, most of them funny. Almost exclusively Gen (no pairings). Latest: "Bach" about a music request by Austria, "Morning" about Austria and Switzerland, and "City of a Hundred Spires" about Czechia and "her" Prague.

6. Canton Leftover (Vorarlberg & CH)

Canton Leftover (Vorarlberg & Switzerland)

'Let me become your little brother!'

'Sorry, Vorarlberg, I already have a little bro—' Why was Austria's image popping up in his mind? Switzerland shook his head violently to get rid of it. 'Er, I mean, a little sister. A very cute little sister. I don't need a little brother.'

'But there's no way I stay with that loser Austria!', cried Vorarlberg. 'I don't want to be a federal state. Let me become one of your cantons!'

'Why would I want a semi-industrialised region like you as one of my cantons?', Switzerland sneered. 'Consider yourself lucky you're good enough for cleaning the cloth I refine. Just take the money for it and be quiet.'

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Almost a century later, Switzerland ran across Vorarlberg when he visited the Austrian estates of one of his municipalities in the Rhine valley.

'Hey, Canton Leftover! Still want to become part of glorious Helvetia?'

'C'mon, you don't really think I'd still want that. Your country is just expensive and your border police are impolite', Vorarlberg said. 'I'm making my own money now. You know, working for modern Southern German companies is way nicer than cleaning cloth. I don't need you any more.' Now it was Vorarlberg who sneered. 'Seems like the grass is greener on my side of the border now.'

Switzerland's jaw dropped. The only thing stopping him from grabbing Vorarlberg by the throat was the fact that his cute little sister was standing right next to him.

—

Notes:

After the Central Powers, among them Austria-Hungary and Germany, had lost World War I, a referendum on 11 May 1919 in the Austrian federal state of Vorarlberg found that 82 per cent of all voters favoured joining Switzerland as a canton. Switzerland and the Allied powers were against it. As a consequence, the Swiss — or, according to the Swiss newspaper Neue Zürcher Zeitung, someone from Vorarlberg who favoured annexation by Germany instead of Switzerland — derogatorily called Vorarlberg 'Canton Leftover' (Kanton Übrig). Today, especially since Austria's joining of the European Union in 1995, Vorarlberg has become a thriving and wealthy region. Some thousand commuters still work in Switzerland, but most people in Vorarlberg don't want to become a canton of it any more. In spite of that, Swiss municipalities in the Rhine valley (Rheintal) still own vast estates in Vorarlberg.

Thanks to the user savicra of for the plotbunny. :)