Christmas Carols (Austria, Hungary, Prussia … and others)

Austria suppressed a groan when Hungary butchered his cultural heritage. 'Sleep in heavenly pea-hiiiice, sle-ep in heavenly peace', she sang with eardrum-shattering pitch and volume. How is anyone supposed to sleep in heavenly peace during such a noise?, he wondered. And when, when will people finally realise that the first 'peace' isn't even half as high-pitched as they seem to believe it is?

He left the kitchen and entered the living room, in which some of the other countries had gathered for Germany's Christmas party. Unfortunately, they had already discovered Prussia's high-fi system. 'Laaast Christmas I gave you my heart…' by Wham! sounded through the room.

Dear me, Austria thought. How often did they play this when I was shopping in December? I can't hear it any more!

Apparently, Prussia had had the same thought. 'C'mon, England, that's totally un-awesome!', the Awesome Me shouted. 'Let me introduce you to some real cool Christmas stuff!'

Seconds later, a song Austria barely recognised as 'Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer' blared through the speakers. Who'd have thought that you could squeeze that many grunts and screams in a song like this?, Austria wondered. And who had given Prussia that Metal Christmas CD, anyway?

At that, Hungary darted out of the kitchen and cried: 'Come on, guys, let's sing ourselves! Austria, you'll play for us, won't you?'

'Very well', Austria said, defeated. What else could he have done? At least, he told himself as he sat down by the piano, now it's me who gets to pick the next song. He chose 'Adeste fideles' … and immediately regretted his decision, when the cacophony of different languages hit his eardrum.

'Nun freut euch, ihr Christen, singet Jubellieder…', Germany and Prussia sang.

'O come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant…' England, of course.

'Ô peuple fidèle, Jésus vous appelle…' That was France.

'Venite, fedeli, l'Angelo c'invita…', sang the Italian brothers.

Some others were sensible enough to choose the Latin version: 'Adeste fideles læti triumphantes…'

… and Austria was certain he heard other languages as well. Why can't they even decide on a single language for one song?, he asked himself. He was tempted to slam his head on the black and white keys … but then, the musicians on the Titanic had played on as well, hadn't they?

—

Notes:

'Stille Nacht' (Silent Night) was written by Austrian Catholic priest Joseph Franz Mohr (1792-1848) and set to music by Austrian primary school teacher and church organist Franz Xaver Gruber (1787-1863) in 1818. The UNESCO declared it Austrian intangible cultural heritage in 2011.

Dez Fafara, Doug Aldrich, Blasko, and John Tempesta sing the Metal version of 'Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer' Prussia listens to on the CD We Wish You A Metal Xmas.

'Adeste fideles' was probably written by John Francis Wade (1711-1786), though this is contested. The original version is in Latin. It's my favourite Christmas carol (in any language).