By Any Other Name (Austria, Bavaria, & Prussia)
"That's always been my parking spot!"
"Now it's mine, kesesese! An awesome parking lot is due to someone as awesome as me!"
"Oh shut up, you stupid Siach!"
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Austria lowered the book he had been reading with a sigh. There went his Sunday rest. He could put up with Prussia and Bavaria when they appeared single, but both of them at the same time were straining his nerves way too much.
Caustria seemed to sense his mood, like cats did, and jumped onto his lap. "At least, you have some compassion for me, Wolferl", he addressed the animal.
"Wolferl?", an incredulous voice asked from the direction of the door. "Caustria doesn't exactly look like a wolf. That old bedside rug of yours doesn't even look like a tiny version of a tiger!"
"You really have no clue, Saupreiß", Bavaria cut in. To Austria, he said: "I always knew you're odd, but don't you think it's a little exaggerated to name your cat after Mozart?"
"You think so? Brother dear, didn't you once bottle-feed a lion cub at Hellabrunn Zoo? If I remember correctly, you called it 'Tassilo'", Austria replied sweetly.
Bavaria turned a conspicuous shade of pink. Prussia smirked and was probably about to make a cheeky comment on Bavarian lions, but Austria didn't let it get that far. "Ah, yes, Prussia", he added, "didn't you call your horse 'Frederick' once? In the Napoleonic Wars, wasn't it?"
"Frederick!" Bavaria snorted with laughter.
"Why, 'Tassilo' isn't any better!"
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
"Come on, Wolferl", Austria told his cat, "let's brew coffee." With these words, he left the squabblers alone. He didn't tell them he'd actually have preferred to name Caustria after Beethoven, but the name 'Ludwig' had already been assigned to someone else…
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Notes
"Siach" is Bavarian and Swabian dialect for "stupid, repulsive guy". "Saupreiß" is a Bavarian swearword for "Prussians", i.e. basically everyone north of the German River Main.
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827) and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791) are composers of the Viennese classicism. "Frederick" is Frederick II. of Prussia (1712-1786), of course, and "Tassilo" refers to the last Bavarian duke of the Agilolfings, Tassilo III. (c 741-c 796). The Hellabrunn Zoo in Munich, Bavaria, exists since 1911.
The idea that the countries name animals after historical characters is inspired by Condé (1766-1804), the horse of Frederick the Great, which was named after the French commander Louis II. de Bourbon, prince de Condé (1621-1686).
The title "By Any Other Name" is an allusion to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet: "[T]hat which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet" (Act II, Scene 2).