Fish (Iceland & Latvia)
„Latvia? Hello, it's Iceland."
„Hi Emil, how are you?"
„Erm, fine, Raivis, but I'm not ringing for polite conversation. It's … Well … I was going to tell you … I don't want to become a member state of the EU any more."
"…"
"You know, my financial system is recovering, I'm a Schengen member state anyway, and I think being a member of the EFTA is sufficient to foster trade relations with the EU."
"It's the fish, isn't it?"
"Erm, yeees… I can't accept the EU's fishing quota. My economy is dependent fishing. After all, three quarters of my exports consist of fish."
"I knew it! I suspected in 2013 already, when your government suspended the accession talks and that singer of yours gilled fish in the video to his entry for the Eurovision Song Contest!"
Pause.
"It was only one fish", Iceland said quietly.
—
Notes
Iceland decided to join the EU during its severe financial crisis in 2009. Accession talks started in 2011, but the newly elected Icelandic government decided to suspend them in 2013. Yesterday (12 March 2015), it officially withdrew its application for accession. It was clear Iceland would do so since 2014, though.
Emil rings Raivis, because Latvia is the current holder of the Presidency of the Council of the European Union.
EFTA is short for European Free Trade Association. Its member states are Iceland, Norway, Switzerland, and Liechtenstein, all of which aren't in the EU.
The Schengen Area is a free travel area which consists of most EU member states and the EFTA states. Of the EU member states which haven't joined the Schengen Area yet, Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, and Romania are going to join it, while the UK and Ireland (who else?) are opt-outs.
The song/video Raivis refers to is "Ég á líf" by Eyþór Ingi Gunnlaugsson. If you look up the video: Attention, dead fish at 1:15.