She hated hospitals. Just as many other places where people tended to lie for the benefit of others. It was comping from a place of kindness and compassion and sympathy. And Saskia could only ever appreciate it at a distance. Hearing conversations she didn't have to be a part of, the accidental eavesdropping that happened in the emergency waiting rooms was giving her a headache from time to time. Especially if there were children. Children were lied to the most. She also despised the smell of hospitals. So sterile and yet very much sickly, deathly.

The young nurse giggled after Dazai whispered something to her. Saskia was doing her best mental job at not listening, ignoring, and wiping out any memory of their interaction whatsoever. It felt a tad purvey to be privy to a conversation that should be happening behind closed doors and tight locks. It felt even stranger the familiarity they seemed to share. It could be nothing but her imagination. Yet she was willing to bet two hundred yen Dazai was somewhat of a frequent patient due to his tendencies. That or they've slept together. Either way, Saskia wanted to forget desperately. Dazai flashed a smile to the nurse, yet Saskia caught him giving her a side-eye.

"Should I leave?" she mouthed to him. He spared her a smile of a different kind.

"You should be all better in no time," the young nurse said with a bright smile. Whatever it was Dazai was telling her, it sure as well worked to lift her spirits way above the world so high. "You are lucky you didn't get a concussion."

"He's too thick-skulled," Detective mumbled under her nose. It was the little joy she could suck out of the situation that sucked so much.

"So, it's alright if I have a visitor?" Dazai asked with a cock of his head and a sly smile.

"I'll do my best," the nurse replied. Blok gagged. Any more sweetness between them and she'd be hospitalized too for developing severe diabetic shock. But with the last exchange of pleasantries, the nurse finally went on about her business. There sure was a spring in her step Saskia didn't notice before. The nurse closed the curtain, leaving Saskia and Dazai separated from the outside world, leaving them trapped together until the latter got permission to leave.

"I don't think me being here was a problem in the first place," Blok said without looking at her partner. "You kinda made it a problem, though." That last part was mumbled under her nose so incoherently, Dazai raised a brow at the sudden display of insecurity and indignity.

"Oh, I didn't mean you," he said with epiphany. Saskia perked up. Someone else was coming to visit Dazai despite the triviality of his condition. That was unexpected. He didn't mention a name of the person and it would be reasonable to expect someone from the agency to come for them. But it was also about Dazai. Why would they? Kunikida would have informed everyone of what had happened. What she made happen. Dazai was purposefully vague about the visitor, and she couldn't help but want to know. "Curious?" Osamu asked calmly, playing with the IV tube stuck in his arm. The nurse had done a great job at keeping the layers of bandages undisturbed enough to stay yet just enough to do what needed to be done. "I lied, by the way."

"No one's coming?"

"No, he'll come," Dazai spoke, and the more he spoke the grimmer he sounded, "just not for me." Blok visibly tensed. Dazai's invitations to people to meet didn't end up good so far. And she had one meeting already, she had plenty for one day. The curtain separating the two of them from the rest of the ward had been pushed aside to reveal a man in a brown double-breasted coat with a notebook in his hand. Sudden appearance made Saskia jump in her seat, but it only mattered for a second. Neither of the men was interested in her reaction as they looked each other in the eye for a long moment. The tension was palpable, but it dissipated with Dazai's cheery voice.

"Ango!" he chirped with offensive exhilaration. The expression on his face could trick anyone into believing in such a joyful showcase. But Saskia guessed that the visiting man wasn't buying into it either. "You came!" Dazai spoke again. The tone wasn't as exhilarating as before peeling off the layers of obvious deception. "I sure do hope you'll keep your end of the bargain till the end," he finished with a bone-biting chill. Saskia shivered, understanding in a spilt of second that whatever this man had done wrong was severe and unforgivable for the ex-mafia. And she'd never wish upon herself to her Dazai speaking to her in such a manner. It certainly was a blessing that Dazai's ability couldn't cause harm at a distance.

Because her eyes were fixed on the newcomer, she saw the way he reacted to those cold and dark words thrown at him. An expression best described at that of a dull throbbing pain one gets when probing an old wound. "Of course," Ango confirmed, sounding defeated. His attention quickly turned to Saskia who has been observing him in an obvious manner. "Sakaguchi Ango." He introduced himself with a polite bow. Yet Blok didn't feel like getting up for the courtesy, bows, and pleasantries. It just so happened she had killed someone just a few hours ago. Pleasantries just weren't eager to come out.

A few second had passed, no one said anything. For whatever reason, the woman expected Ango to continue talking and explain his presence since Dazai didn't bother. "Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Blok asked bluntly.

Ango pulled out a wiping cloth from the inside of his coat and took off his glasses. "No," he said calmly with a hint of amusement. "I suppose Dazai didn't bother with explanations," he started to wipe his glasses. "As always." She was intrigued by the last comment. This Sakaguchi man had known Dazai as good as anyone could truly know a man like him. And it would be so easy to ask for answers from him. There couldn't be two people immune to her ability in one room.

"I work with the Special Ability Department," Ango continued.

"That's a special government department designated to handle cases involving ability users," Dazai explained, sounding very bored.

"I'm here to offer you a job," Ango pressed further. There was a string of annoyance in his voice. All that Saskia was able to produce for a response was a confused huh. "Blok Alexandra," he opened his notebook, "homicide detective with the police force of Yokohama." He was listing off things very matter-of-factly. Saskia directed her attention towards Dazai. It would be easy to question Ango as to where he got this information from. For a man working for the government it wouldn't be hard. But if it was Dazai, it meant adding another bone to pick to the plate.

"You had failed the entrance exam to become a public prosecutor," Sakaguchi seemed to be done for the moment. Blok eyed Dazai curiously catching that meager reaction. It was all in his eyes. It wasn't him.

"Homicide burns people out," she quoted.

"Ah, speaking of that incident—"

"Shut it," she spoke harshly, with anger and spite. She could take that from fellow officers since they knew what it was like. But this man had no right to comment on that incident. "If you have something else to say and you want to say it, you better get to it now."

"I see." It wasn't hard to recognize how hard it was for Sakaguchi to not sigh. "Your ability would be useful for the department."

"The government wants to get me into the prosecutor's office in exchange for working for them?" Saskia tilted her head. A sweet carrot dangling right in front of her nose.

"In a nutshell, yes," Ango nodded. Blok hummed thoughtfully. Her mind was going down a dark path now that her past was so callously brought up again. Special Ability Department dealt with cases involving ability users. If they were any good at what they were doing, they couldn't ignore ADA and Port Mafia's existence. And yet those organizations existed right under their noses. More so, Detective Agency had built a reputation for themselves and got involved with the military too. There was only one reasonable explanation for the government secrecy and organizations that were specifically aimed at employing ability users.

"What are you willing to do to get me to work for the government?" she asked calmly. "Threaten and blackmail me as well?" Ango looked at Dazai for a moment who feigned a lack of understanding. Not that this government official had bought into that.

"No. Your ability could be helpful but not essential," Ango spoke.

"Lie to me."

"I — I — Ah, I enjoy namako."

"Good enough," Saskia spoke, wincing from pain and rubbing her head.

"Is that how your ability works?" the man asked with carefully disguised curiosity. "You can detect lies through pain."

"When spoken only," she added. Dazai didn't reveal that either. He must have been extremely vague. She got up from her seat but only to reach the ability nullifier. The moment her finger lightly touched Dazai's finger, the pain had disappeared as if it never was here. "Two more questions and I'll give you an answer."

"You don't have to give an answer right now," he spoke with submission. It was suspicions how defensive and nonconfrontational he was. He started to back away like he had sensed something was off.

"Correct me if I got it wrong about anything," she asked gently. "The government has a secret department that handles ability users all over Japan. And while they maintain secrecy, there is such an organization as Armed Detective Agency, employing ability users, working with the military. Does the government allow certain organizations to exist?" It not like she needed a verbal answer to know the truth. Ango discovered how her ability worked. There was no point of him opening his mouth unless to speak the truth. "On the other hand, there's another organization with a far less noble cause," Blok continued. "Port Mafia. It couldn't be that your department doesn't know of Mafia's ways or who it seeks to recruit. Does the government allow Port Mafia to continue their operation?"

Ango's eyes were not at all like Dazai's. It wasn't about the colour but how expressive they could be. Dazai's eyes were deep and dark as a forest in the night. The light could be seen in the distance, yet one could never be sure of their true nature. Ango's told everything to Saskia. All she needed to know. He didn't say anything but neither did he waver. He never broke eye contact.

"I know," Saskia said with a sigh, "it's hard to talk to me now that you know about my ability."

"I take it you declined the proposition," Sakaguchi politely bowed again. Not quite as low, however. The difference wasn't great but noticeable.

"Sorry," she replied without a hint of regret. The two men exchanged looks one last time. Dazai's was filled with fondness. She didn't bother to take notice of another man. There were quite a few things she needed to chew one while her mind was focused on something else. Before she would spiral down the stairs of guilt and sin. The Special Ability Department had something going on between the Agency and Port Mafia.

"Since you are wondering, the government gave Port Mafia a business license," Dazai spoke matter-of-factly. It was so obvious for him to guess what she was thinking. But she had to always walk in the dark. Blind and deaf, hoping she wouldn't stumble and fall, hoping that, eventually, her hands would find something in the dark that would help her find answers.

"That department is going to clean up the mess I made," Saskia mumbled. "You sold me out twice. Because you needed information and reassurance. And now they know I exist. Doubt they'll let me be despite Sakaguchi's submissiveness," she sighed lamentedly. Before she had to worry about Port Mafia. Now it was the government she technically was working for. "But it couldn't just be all to meet me."

"Well," Dazai agreed, "the government is interested in keeping their secrets and ability users."

"The Contemporary. I get it. It was them leaving bodies behind. I guess the unfortunate souls Mori thought were about to betray Port Mafia. That must be what Tolstoy meant about his freedom being taken away. They have a way to take people and control them."

"You are catching up quick," Dazai concurred. "Won't be an issue then." She didn't say anything to that, preferring to zone out. The conversation would lead to the place of discussing the agency and her status with them. And she didn't know what she wanted to do. If she wanted to do anything.

"I get it now," she said lazily. There was little chance she could turn the tables on him, yet she could try. "I think." Saskia yawned, placed her hands on the bed and rested her head. Her eyes were watching Dazai's carefully constructed expression of bewilderment. Yet he didn't speak up — just tilted his head as if to invite her to talk more. He was listening. "This thing about you."

I think most people have a void inside them. Some might have as long as they remember themselves, something missing deep inside them. Sometimes it's life that leaves void inside us. It's not that bad, after all, if you are empty, you can be endlessly filled. And the task of being a human being is to tend to that void. Fill it with something like human connections and beliefs. Sometimes all that can be done to that void is to confine and seal it, tending to the walls built around it so it won't break through. That's the most human thing, I think, that's what makes a human. That void like the garden of our soul, even if it's the garden of sins and vices. Your garden had died without ever blooming.

Or something like that. I am not poetic. But it's not the problem with you, is it? Your void is immense. The sheer magnitude of it — people and beliefs won't be enough. Nothing will be enough. Your void is all-consuming. You can try and fill it, try to confine it, build walls around it… It would never work.

She couldn't bring up the moment her lips stopped moving and the words ceased to come out. Her thoughts remained unspoken as they started each other in the eye. Dazai cocked a brow in question, waiting for a continuation. It didn't come. She laughed for a moment at her cowardice

"Move a bit, will ya?" Saskia got up from her seat to stretch her aching back. Dazai moved a bit aside. She hopped on the bed beside him not missing the smirk on his face as she laid back on the bed. Nor did she miss the fact that Dazai brought up a book with the red cover, worn but not tattered. "That book is just for show," Saskia mumbled sleepily. Someone's weight was placed on the pillow beside her head.