Antonio (Spain & Austria)
Madrid, some time past 2 February 1602
Spain strode up and down the room like a caged animal. He was clutching some papers tightly, crumpling them in the process.
Austria paused from playing the clavichord and sighed. "I can't concentrate when you do that, Spain. Would you be good enough to tell me what those papers are you're so eager to destroy? I realise it is from one of your spies in England, but I'm not able to read your mind unless you say something. Is it bad news?" England had become one of Spain's main rivals in the Americas more or less since their discovery, so Austria's question was only reasonable.
"No", Spain growled through gritted teeth. "It's a transcript of one of those stupid plays Arthur loves so much. One of my spies has made it during a performance."
"A play?" Austria raised an eyebrow.
"He's mocking me!", Spain burst out. "That brat, that stupid little upstart on his stupid little island there is mocking me!" Spain was accustomed to describe England in much more colourful vocabulary when he was on one of his ships, but he didn't dare to use those words in the company of his well-mannered husband. After all, Spain knew his manners, too.
"In how far?" Austria's expression didn't change. Sometimes, Spain hated the fact that it was so hard to read him.
"You know, there's this quill-driver called William Shakespeare who's become fairly popular at the English court some time ago", Spain said. Then, he shouted: "I bet Arthur told him to call all of his characters who are in love with other men 'Antonio'! First, there was this Venetian merchant who risks his life for someone called Bessanio, but that Bassanio ends up marrying a woman called Portia. Antonio is the only one who remains alone at the end of that play. Now, I've received the transcript of another play where there's a sailor — mind you, a sailor! — who rescues Sebastian, the heroine's brother. This Antonio risks his life for him as well, but that Sebastian falls in love at first sight with a woman called Olivia for apparently no reason! And again, Antonio ends up alone! There's a pattern, Rodrigo, a pattern!"
"I'm sorry, Antonio, I know we don't see each other often enough", Austria said softly. He took Spain's hand in his and made Spain's anger vanish into thin air.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Many years later, Spain secretly asked himself if England and his playwright had cursed him.
Notes
The clavichord is a predecessor of the piano. The plays Spain mentions are The Merchant of Venice (first printed in 1600) and Twelfth Night (first recorded performance on 2 February 1602) by William Shakespeare (1564-1616). The "many years later" may refer to Austria and Spain's "divorce" during the War of the Spanish Succession (1701-14), to Austria's "marriage" to Hungary in 1867, or both.
A remark by NepheleNilfhain (from the German fandom) that England must have known Shakespeare prompted me to jot that little headcanon of mine. Thank you!