Chapter Seventeen

When Fenton put his car in park, he sighed. Was he overstepping? Was he not doing enough? He wasn't sure whether or not he should be taking Alexis home himself. Not because he hadn't done it before. Since Seth and Dominick had made their opinion of Alexis evident in the raised indentations in her skin, since his own sessions with her had become so intense so quickly, he'd made a habit of taking her home when he could. It gave him peace of mind to see her walking into her building unharmed. It made him feel like he was actually helping her with… whatever the hell she was hoping to get out of their sessions.

But tonight was different. And Fenton didn't know how to handle it. How could he help the woman he'd forced himself on?

Christ, just thinking about it made him want to crawl under a rock a die. The whole scene, Alexis had been right there, present, so compliant. Hell, she'd been begging for it, begging for him. He should have known better than to cross that line, to touch her where he'd promised he wouldn't. And after the first time, he should have known better than to keep touching her, to keep pushing. He sure as shit should have known not to get his dick out. Maybe he could have felt okay about everything if he'd made it about her pleasure alone… but he'd gotten caught up in her. He'd lost control. He'd been compromised.

The part that puzzled him the most was how okay she seemed. Inside, he was ready to tear himself apart, and Fenton hadn't even dared to let the detective out of the corner of his mind he'd shoved him in… right before he'd started touching Alexis.

"Thanks for the ride," Alexis said softly.

She was watching him with thinly veiled concern. What the hell did she have to be worried about him for? She should worry about herself. He'd felt the way her whole body had seized up when he'd pushed inside her. He'd heard the hitch in her voice, the plea as she whimpered his name. He'd felt her tremble in his arms when he'd released her from her restraints, when she'd buried her face in his neck, obviously to hide how much he'd terrified her.

"You're welcome," he said gruffly. He looked her over, from her still slightly mussed hair to the high heels and stockings covering her feet. Those pretty lace panties had ended up in the wastebasket. She didn't have much use for them after he'd torn them in half. Christ, he was beyond compromised. "Are you sure you're alright?"

She pursed her lips, looking down at her lap. "You stopped when I asked, Fenton." He heard the subtext in her gentle reminder, and he didn't want it. He didn't deserve praise for doing the right thing, especially after he'd done the wrong one.

"We should probably talk." He looked at the steering wheel gripped tightly in his hands. "When you're up for it."

"Now's fine. You can come up." She left the car, and he followed suit, surprised at her offer.

"You're inviting me up?" he asked. "After what just happened?"

She squared him with a look. "I may wear the submissive hat for you, but that doesn't mean I can't knock you into the pavement if I feel threatened. Besides," she shrugged, "I don't think you're gonna give me a reason to feel that way. I'm not afraid of you." She turned up the steps to her building.

"Maybe you should be," he muttered, following after her.

He'd never lost control like that with a sub before. He'd always kept to the established boundaries, and though he'd had baser thoughts during one scene or another, it was never been a hardship to set that temptation to the side. Alexis was proving to be different in that regard, and it wasn't just because of the man inside of his head, the man who still loved her, the man who—though he'd never admit it aloud—still wanted to be with her. Fenton liked Alexis. She was proving to be a good sub for him, even if she didn't always comply to his commands all the time, but even that made him like her. She was strong willed and who didn't like a trait like that?

He liked her, respected her in a way that had nothing to do with the skimpy little outfits she paraded around in. He'd feel the same way if they'd met working some white collar desk job, rather than at a kink club.

Alexis unlocked her door and walked in, leaving it open behind her. Fenton stood awkwardly in the hallway for a few seconds before he finally walked into her place. He closed the door behind him, while taking a brief look around.

Her apartment was nothing like thought it might be, but that didn't surprise him. Alexis was good at keeping him guessing about her. Her apartment was bare. She didn't have much in the ways of furniture. She had a small, but comfortable-looking couch sitting against her wall. A TV on the other side. It looked to be quite small, maybe a thirty inch screen, a lot smaller than the sixty inch he was used to. There was a standing lamp in the corner of the living room, that didn't allow a lot of light as Alexis turned it on.

Her kitchen was very clean. The only appliance sitting out was a coffee maker, and other than that she didn't seem to have anything. That, or she was very tidy and everything was hidden away in cabinets.

Alexis cleared her throat a little and Fenton turned towards her.

"Are you just gonna keep lurking in doorways, or…" A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, and he knew she was teasing him. This was a different dynamic, and Fenton wasn't sure he liked it. In the club, Alexis was the stranger and he was in control. The tables seemed to have turned. And Fenton immediately felt that itch, that bone-deep need for control.

"So what happened between us—"

"Do you want to sit?" she asked, perching herself on the edge of her couch. A soft looking throw blanket was draped over the back of it, and he could imagine her wrapping herself in it for warmth and comfort. Kevin remembered how much she loved curling up on the couch with a book or a movie on those lazy days off together. He'd loved cuddling with her. He missed it.

"Fenton?"

He shook his head, snapping out of his reverie. Fenton suppressed a frustrated sigh, attempting to shoo the detective back to corner of his mind. Fenton needed to have a talk with his sub, and it was better if Kevin wasn't present. Fenton crossed the space between them and took a seat on the opposite end of the couch. He took a breath. "There are some things I need to say."

"Okay . . . "

He licked his lips. "I'm sorry for the position I put you in tonight. I was out of line, and I was reckless, and I was an asshole."

"You respected my safeword," she reminded him, looking confused.

"I did," he agreed. "I stopped when you asked, but since that's pretty much the bare minimum for not committing assault, I'm not feeling nearly as good about it as you. You don't understand, Alexis. If I were doing my job, you wouldn't have had to use your safe word. I never would have touched you like that. I would have respected and followed the boundaries we agreed on when we started this."

Alexis was quiet for a long time, finally sighing. "I didn't mind. I . . . I liked it, at least until—" she blushed, and it was so goddamn adorable that Fenton felt a smile stretch across his face for the first time all night.

"That doesn't change the fact that it was my responsibility to take care of you and make sure that, regardless of how caught up in things you became, you were never pushed past your boundaries. That's what a good dom does."

"What do you get out of that kind of arrangement? It seems like I'm the only one benefitting."

Fenton shook his head. "I get you, all submissive and sweet and… trusting. You get freedom and a release, I get control and a different kind of release."

"I felt that tonight," she said softly. "Did you feel it, too?"

With a sigh, he shook his head. "At moments, but I was too out of control when we began. I shouldn't have touched you at all, not while my head was such a mess."

"What happened?" she asked. "Did something upset you?"

Fenton bit his lip. He couldn't tell her much of anything without implicating her. "Nothing you need to worry about."

She frowned again, her lips taking on that maddening pout. "Fenton, you can tell me."

"No, I actually can't," he insisted.

"Does it have something to do with me? You were acting so…. Possessive, I guess."

Fenton kept his poker face up. "No," he shook his head. "Just work stress. And I'm sorry I allowed it to affect my behavior. It won't happen again." He paused. "That is, if you still want to do scenes with me."

Alexis cocked her head to the side. "I don't see why I wouldn't want to."

"Really?"

She nodded. "You've been very respectful and humble. You made a mistake, but it seems like you're going to learn from it."

"You're really okay with… with everything—"

"I'm not that breakable, Fenton. Yes, I'm fine. I still feel safe with you. I still want to do scenes with you."

Fenton couldn't believe his ears. He couldn't imagine getting off so easily.

"And actually…" Alexis licked her lips, looking nervous. "I'm willing to renegotiate our boundaries, if you're interested."

"Umm…. how?" he asked dumbly, beyond shocked. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Kevin was about to lose his shit.

"I liked almost everything you did tonight." Her hands were curled in the blanket that she'd pulled into her lap. "I liked how you touched me, and… spanked me. I liked it all." She finally looked up at him. "I still don't want to um, have sex or anything, but... " she glanced back down at the blanket, "if you're interested in more, I'd be willing and… eager."

Fenton blinked, just staring at her for a moment. This was not how he'd expected their conversation to go. Obviously she wasn't as shaken by their scene as he was, but he still had never dreamed she'd ask for more.

'No!' Kevin shouted in his head. 'There's no fucking way you're screwing around with her anymore than you already have.'

Alexis' soft voice pulled him out of his head. "Do you want that?"she asked.

He licked his lips, still mulling things over. "No sex?"

"No sex."

"Is that the boundary? Anything short of my cock being inside you is just fine?" His heart was racing. This was not how their conversation was supposed to play out.

"If that's what you want." Her voice was softer now, almost like she was afraid he'd reject her.

"That's what you want?" he asked, gritting his teeth at the way he was just talking in circles, but he had to wrap his head around it. He had to be sure before he touched her.

'You shouldn't be touching her,' Kevin reminded him. Not once should Fenton have ever touched her. Alexis wasn't his. And if she knew the truth…

"That's what I want," Alexis confirmed.

Christ…

"But it's okay if you don't want the same things," Alexis said, her voice becoming less vulnerable. "We can just continue like we've been doing." She stood up, and he caught her wrist.

As his thumb drew circles on the inside of her wrist, words stalled on the tip of his tongue. He wanted that, too. But even as that bittersweet mix of self-loathing and desire set in, he knew that agreeing to more would be wrong. She didn't know who he really was, and until that was the case, he had no business digging himself even deeper. For a half-second he considered telling her the truth—he knew he needed to tell her the truth. He was already overdue, wasn't he? He was already in over his head, in so deep there would be no finding his way out.

"I think I'm gonna go clean up, get out of this outfit," she said, gently freeing her wrist from his grasp. There was a slight twist to her lips, probably disappointment that he hadn't yet answered her question in the affirmative. Of course, he hadn't said no, either. "Will you be here when I get out?"

Fenton shrugged. He honestly didn't know what he was doing there in the first place, so who was he to know how long he'd be staying? It was obvious that Alexis was the one calling the shots. Every word that she'd said since they arrived at her apartment had taken him by surprise.

"Depends on if you want me to be here. Your call."

Alexis seemed to consider it for a bit, before she took a deep breath and nodded. Alexis disappeared behind her bedroom door and it only took half a second for that little bubble of happiness to burst. Fenton sighed. Why was he there?

He could leave. He didn't have to stay. If Alexis were to get done with her shower, come out and find him gone, she probably wouldn't be too surprised. Fenton wasn't a guy was supposed to get attached. Working at the club made it easy for him to just do his job while different women entered and exited from his life. Then Alexis showed up and everything changed. His job was infinitely more difficult and now that she was his sub, things were becoming more difficult on a personal level. He should have never allowed for it to happen.

Fenton was in new territory. This wasn't part of his job. Alexis wasn't the job. Making sure her feelings were intact wasn't the job. Yet, there he was, standing in the living room of her apartment, all alone.

If he were a better man, he'd leave. He'd get Alexis blacklisted from the club. He'd cut ties and make sure she was never caught up in his selfishness again. He could leave at anytime, but Fenton, despite himself, wanted to stay.

While Alexis was tucked away in the shower, walls separating them, Fenton allowed himself just a moment to release the tension that had been boiling inside him. There was residual disgust at himself, sure, but there was also a whole other person with a whole other set of reasons for being furious with him inside his head, so Fenton let the detective on his shoulder have his say.

Kevin was a fucking mess. He made Fenton's own reactions seem tame and subdued, and for a moment, Fenton was overcome by the all the noise in his head. They needed to tell Alexis the truth about who Fenton really was. They needed to put as much space between Alexis and Fenton as possible. They needed to get Alexis out of that club altogether. They needed to stick by her side and make sure she was okay. They needed to protect her from all the shitty criminals posing as doms in the club.

Guilt and fury laced through him as Kevin relived every moment that Fenton had touched her, all the places he'd touched her, and the promises he'd violated.

'You're here to do a job, not try to fuck my ex-girlfriend when she's not asking for it!'

That moment, that one moment that played on a loop in Fenton's brain, when Fenton had been inside her, dominating her with his strength and size. It was too far. And everyone in the room knew it.

Yes, he'd stopped when she'd asked him. And yes, she'd been just as lost to her desire as he'd been up until that moment. But Fenton knew from both Kevin and his own experience with Alexis that she was high-strung, tightly coiled and closed off. It was his responsibility as her dom to give her a safe space to let go, not to take advantage of her when she finally did.

He looked around her small apartment trying to get a sense of what she was like outside of the club, whether her daytime life had changed much from when Kevin knew her, but there was no signs that Alexis was even living there. Her apartment looked more like a storage for her things than an actual home. He wouldn't be surprised to learn that she had things that were still packed in boxes somewhere.

When Alexis returned, she was wearing a robe, but she definitely had clothes on underneath it. He could see black and white striped pajama bottoms covering her legs and she appeared to have a black shirt underneath her pink robe. Her hair was brushed and hanging down straight over her left shoulder. She smiled shyly at him.

"Small place," he commented.

"I don't need much room."

"I can see. It doesn't look like you have a lot of things."

"Do you want something to drink?" Alexis walked into the kitchen, and he followed, leaning against the doorframe.

"I'm fine, thanks," he said.

He watched her carefully as she walked to the counter, picked up a mug and started filling with water. She turned back towards him, taking a drink.

"Where'd you get that?" Fenton pointed to the mug.

Alexis ran her fingers over it. "Someone that I used to know bought it for me."

"A friend?"

"My ex."

"Oh," he looked at the mug again and really paid attention to it. Kevin saw that it was from a gift shop of the aquarium that he and Alexis had gone to when things were so much more simple for the both of them.

She had loved the design so much and Kevin could still remember the smile on her face when he bought it for her. Fenton had never seen Alexis smile that big before. He thought it was a good look on her. When he backed away, he saw her staring at him.

"What are you staring at, gorgeous?" Fenton asked as Kevin's defenses went back up.

"Sometimes when I look at you, like, really look at you, I'm reminded of him."

Fenton didn't know how to respond to that, but he knew that he couldn't freak out about it. "Is that a good or a bad thing?"

Alexis shrugged. "I'm not sure. Sometimes it during our scenes, I get a little lost in my head, because every once in awhile, I'll be thinking about him."

"Did he and you ever do any of the that things we have?"

"No, not like we've done, but I think I could have seen myself doing some of things we've done with him."

"Maybe that's why you think about him when you're in those moments."

"Maybe, but I guess I shouldn't think about it. I shouldn't think about him at all really."

"Were you thinking about him tonight?"

She bit her bottom lip. "Not until it was over."

Fenton honestly didn't know what to say about anything that Alexis was telling him. Of course he was going to remind her of Kevin, but she couldn't know why. He also knew that changing the subject wouldn't help.

"You enjoyed tonight, right? Before the end?"

Alexis nodded. "Yes, I enjoyed it, but sometimes I just think about what other people would think if they knew what I was doing."

"What do you think he'd say?"

Alexis shook her head a bit. "Considering that we ended on bad terms and he's out of my life permanently, I'm pretty sure he'd think I'm some kind of slut."

Fenton suppressed the indignation, the need to comfort her. He noticed the way Alexis practically spat out the words, like she was still bitter. Of course she was. "When you say bad terms?"

"What about it?"

"Well," Fenton stopped himself. He needed to do this subtly if he ever wanted Alexis to say anything. He needed to throw her off a little. "He wasn't abusive to you, was he? Did he ever hit you?"

Alexis immediately shook her head. "No, he never laid a hand on me, well, not to hurt me anyway."

Fenton nodded already knowing the answer. "Well you never know. Some of the sub' I've been with come from bad relationships."

"I guess I can see that, but I'm not like them. He wasn't that kind of a person. He would have never hurt me. Sure, we had our differences and problems, but we talked it out. We never resolved things with violence. He's a good man."

"Then why didn't it work out?" Fenton wasn't entirely sure that those were actually his words. Kevin seemed stronger than usual.

Alexis sighed and Fenton knew she was getting frustrated. He couldn't blame her. He was a little frustrated himself. "It just didn't, okay?"

Fenton wasn't sure whether the words were his or Kevin's, but before he knew it they were coming out of his mouth. "Obviously your past relationship is affecting you. If you don't talk about it, it's never going to get better."

"Talk? To who? You?"

"Somebody," Fenton said and then made himself shut up. He wasn't even supposed to be there, let alone giving her any kind of advice. He blamed Kevin. Kevin was practically pushing Fenton into being there and talking to her about things that he shouldn't be talking about.

Her eyes narrowed. "Why do you care?"

Good question. He shouldn't give a damn, but he did. "Why wouldn't I care? You think I can spend night after night with someone handing their wellbeing and safety over to me and not care about them? If that's what you really think, then we really have no business doing scenes together anymore."

Fenton knew that talking about her and Kevin's break up would be hard on Alexis, but he knew she could do it and it had to have helped her to think that she was talking to an impartial third party.

She tucked some strands of hair behind her hair, with her shaky hand and then crossed her arms over her chest again. "The relationship ended because of me, not him. I was the one who messed it all up. I was jealous and I let my insecurities ruin the best relationship I've ever had with maybe the one guy that I actually loved."

Fenton watched as Alexis began to take down her walls. He watched tears gather in her eyes, he watched her as she took deep breaths, to keep herself calm. "I cheated on him. I ruined everything because I was jealous. Instead of trusting him, I decided to hurt him instead. Now he's gone. He moved away, and I know it's going to sound like I'm an egomaniac, but I know it was because of me. He hated me so much that he moved away and didn't even tell me. I had to find out from a mutual friend."

Fenton didn't know what to say and when he was relying on some help from Kevin, he was met with silence. Clearly Alexis' words had affected him, because he wasn't really saying much, but Fenton could feel the tension rolling through him.

"You cheated?"

"Yeah," Alexis said and then shook her head. "I was the one to end it all and now I'm stuck here wondering why he didn't care enough to tell me why he left. It's stupid, huh? I wish I could take it all back. None of it was worth losing him, but I guess I just love to sabotage myself."

"We've all been there."

"Have you ever cheated on someone?"

Fenton let out a laugh. "I'm not the type of guy to get invested in just one woman, so I guess the answer is no."

"You might have the right idea. Investments always come back to bite you at some point."

"Don't say that. You don't mean it."

"I don't?"

"You obviously don't regret being with him. All you seem to regret is that it ended and how it ended. You care. You can't lead my type of lifestyle if you care as much as you clearly do."

Alexis seemed to be letting his words settle into her brain and Fenton let out a sigh. "Why does it hurt so much? We've been broken up for a long time."

"You cared about him, you still do. It will hurt less when you learn to let it go."

"He hates me, how do I get over that?"

The detective on his shoulder was saddened by that remark, and Fenton knew all too well that Kevin didn't hate her at all. "Maybe he doesn't. Maybe that's just what you've convinced yourself."

"No, he hates me."

"How can he hate you if you love him so much? Doesn't make sense to me. Worry about the things you can do and the things that you can change, not anything else." He squeezed her hand. "And for the record, if he knew what you're doing and judged you instead of being glad that you're trying to find some sort of happiness, well, then that asshole isn't worth your tears."

Alexis sniffled and drew Fenton's eyes to hers. "I'll think about what you said."

"Good."

Alexis looked at him, biting her lip a little. "Are we still on for Friday?"

"You sure?"

"I'll be ready and I'll be fine. It's up to you, though."

He let out a breath and nodded, knowing that Alexis would be back. Knowing that they'd never quite settled their boundaries.

"Wait," she said, and as he turned around, he felt her arms wrap around him.

"Thanks for listening," she whispered.

"Anytime," he said with a smile as he extracted himself from her arms. He closed the door behind him and made a promise to himself never have a reason to go back. Already, Alexis was way too dangerous for him. Fenton didn't want to find out what other methods she could use to make herself even more perfect to him. Fenton rubbed his face as he jogged down the stairs. The detective on his shoulder had retreated, leaving him alone to deal with this mess.

He was so screwed.

Way too late the next morning, Alexis stumbled out of her bedroom. It was her day off, first one in a long time, and With the emotional tumult of the night before, she'd forgotten to set her alarm.

Alexis usually treated days off as just another day to be filled with distractions. Yes, it was when she did her laundry, added some food to her pantry, and usually called her father or spent time with her grandmother. However, it was also the day that she'd get some daytime footwork done on her pending cases, the kind of footwork that would give Javi a heart attack for her being involved without him. Like listening to the countless hours of audio she'd been collecting from the bug she'd planted in Fenton's office.

Alexis tried to suppress her guilt. After their talk the night before, she was beginning to question exactly what it meant for her to be collecting incriminating information from him.

If he knew what she was really doing, would he hate her?

Alexis already knew the answer to that one.

So she began brewing some coffee, looked through her fridge for anything resembling breakfast food. She was at once reminded of Kevin's French toast, and the big breakfasts they'd make when they shared days off.

That pretty much killed any hunger her belly could muster up. Instead, she pulled the bottle of whiskey from the back of her fridge and poured a bit into her coffee mug.

For the first time in recent memory, Alexis hadn't dreamed about Fenton. Despite their fierce session the night before. Her subconscious had decided to torture her in a different way, and she'd dreamed of Kevin instead. She'd dreamed he'd found out about her secret life, her nights away the club, and he hadn't been happy for her at all. Quite the opposite, really. And his judgment had wormed its way into the pieces of her she kept tucked away, hidden from her family, Javi and Captain Beckett, Fenton, and even herself.

"Once a slut, always a slut," his voice had rang in her mind.

Alexis rubbed her face, watching the black liquid drip into the carafe. She never should have shared all those things with Fenton. Digging up the past hadn't helped her yet, and last night hadn't changed anything. They were still broken. He was still living a new, probably amazing, life in Boston. She was still alone. And he probably wouldn't pick up the phone if she tried to reach out. Nothing had changed.

She still needed to get over him. To move on with her life. She wished she knew how.

As Alexis poured coffee into her mug of whiskey, a loud thump sounded at her door. She started, spilling some hot coffee onto the counter. "Dammit." She sighed, then ducked into her bedroom to grab her bathrobe. Who would be a her door? If her dad was stopping by, he would have called first. And he would have used his key and walked in right after he knocked. Alexis was still breaking him of that particular habit. Not that she ever had anyone over to her apartment. Her father wouldn't be interrupting anything.

As she reached for the doorknob, she wondered whether Fenton was returning. She doubted it, though she also couldn't contain a hint of hope. She shook her head, what business would he have at her apartment? They'd sorted everything out the night before, when he'd been a strange mix of tender and distant. Like he couldn't help but be near her and hated himself for feeling that way. She opened the door to find a delivery courier on the other side.

"Hey," the courier said, arranging the packages in her arms. "Need your signature."

"Who're they from?" Alexis asked, using the plastic stylus to sign for the delivery.

The courier shrugged. "Not my business." She handed over the two packages, one tall, the other small and square. "Have a good day."

"You, too." Alexis shut and locked the door behind her, setting the packages on her side table. The tall package was from a fancy flower shop on the upper east side. Again, Alexis thought of her father, but she wasn't sure why he'd feel the need to send flowers.

Using a knife from the kitchen, she tore open the box and gasped when she saw its contents. A beautiful crystal vase full of three dozen yellow roses and baby's breath. It was the most beautiful arrangement anyone had ever given her, and had to have cost a pretty penny. Alexis touched one of the petals, marveling at the soft texture on her fingertips. She'd never been given yellow roses before.

There was no note tucked in among the flowers, no idea who had sent her such a lovely gift. With a frown, Alexis turned to the small box, which was wrapped in brown paper and string. The wrappings gave way to a small white box. It looked like a jewelry box, like someone was sending her a necklace. She looked between the box and the flowers, trying to understand the puzzle in front of her.

With a deep breath, she lifted the lid off the box. Her stomach leapt up into her chest. A sterling silver choker lay on a bed of velvet, adorned with strands of blue crystal. She picked it up, letting her fingertips drag over the smooth metal and stone. It was gorgeous, and Alexis had a feeling the color would suit her eyes. In fact, whoever had bought the necklace was likely planning on it.

A tiny square of white caught her attention, and Alexis pulled out a note from the corner of the necklace box.

Wear this on Friday. I'll meet you in our room. —F

Her fingertips caught on the clasp, and she noticed a tiny lock set into the mechanism. Realization dawned. It wasn't a pretty necklace; it was a submissive collar. She set it back in the box with a sigh, her excitement deflating just a little bit. She knew what it meant for him to give her a collar and ask her to wear it, but she wasn't sure she wanted to follow through, whether it was fake or not.

She set the flowers and collar aside and returned to the counter, where the coffee spill had gone cold. She wiped up the mess and took a long pull from her mug of Irish coffee. Then she took her phone off the counter and dialed Fenton.

He answered on the third ring. "Yes?"

"What if I don't want to wear your collar?" she asked without preamble.

She thought she could hear his eyes rolling over the phone. "Then don't." He didn't sound much more chipper than she was, and she wondered whether or not her apartment had been his last stop the night before.

Silence set in for a moment. She hadn't expected such an aloof response. "Why did you give it to me anyway?" she asked.

"You want freedom. I want anyone else to think twice before touching you. I figured this would solve both our problems."

She rubbed her face, frowning at the possessiveness that clearly hadn't been resolved from their talk the night before. "I'm not really yours," she said quietly. "We're just…. Playing." She sighed. She didn't think she needed to say it out loud, she figured he knew that already, but then again she'd never been sent a collar before.

"I'm well aware."

Alexis would have killed to see his expression. His voice wasn't giving away anything. "Okay. I'll wear it then."

"Good." He didn't sound like he thought it was good, or bad, for that matter. "Did you need anything else?"

She shook her head, then realized he couldn't see her. "No."

"Alright. Bye—"

"Fenton?"

"Yeah?"

Her eyes landed on the giant bouquet, and she bit her lip. "Thank you for the roses. They're beautiful."

For the first time, she heard something like warmth in his voice. "You're welcome, pretty girl. I'll see you Friday."

"Bye."

Alexis hung up the phone. Her face felt hot as she replaced the lid on the jewelry box and tucked the collar away in her closet with her club outfits. It was just another piece of her costume, she told herself. It didn't mean anything. Still, she couldn't help but think of the girl who'd been murdered, the sub who'd been asphyxiated with her own collar, a heavy, iron thing that she'd clawed at in her last moments of life.

It was part of the costume. It'd give her the freedom she needed to help solve that poor girl's murder. It was a necessary evil.

Once the packaging had been thrown out and the flowers had been given water and placed back on her end table, Alexis curled up on her couch with her coffee in hand, her computer on her lap. As she pressed play on Fenton's audio files, her eyes skipped over those flowers again, and she felt something like guilt knot in her stomach. She looked back down at her computer screen, focusing on the recording.

She knew all about necessary evils.