How on Earth…? (Austria & Bolivia)
"Thank you so much for your medal", Austria said politely. He tried to remember when he had last worn a medal as large as the Condor de los Andes en el grado de Gran Collar… That's been some time, he decided.
"It is me who has to thank you for your visit and for rescuing my president and me two years ago", Bolivia replied.
"That was only natural", Austria told her. "You had to land somewhere with your plane, and, technically, I'm still a neutral country, so…" He shrugged.
"Still, it was very kind of you and your president to allow our plane to land and to even visit us. That's why I'd like to give you another present … um … Wait a minute, it's still somewhere behind the curtains…" Bolivia quickly disappeared behind the curtains of the room where she and Austria were meeting. When she returned, she carried a huge canvas in her hands. She handed it to Austria. "Here. That's you, made of coca leaves."
Austria stared at the larger than life-sized portrait in bewilderment. "Thank you … but how on earth am I supposed to get that through customs at my place?"
Notes:
The incident Bolivia refers to happened in the beginning of July in 2013: When the plane in which Bolivian president Evo Morales was travelling went over Europe, it ran out of petrol. Most European countries didn't give it permission to land, because they suspected whistle-blower Edward Snowden on board (he wasn't). Austria gave its permission, and Austrian president Heinz Fischer even visited Morales on the airport. Morales is still very grateful for this and believes Fischer saved his life.
This ficlet is inspired by a caption in the online version of the Austrian newspaper Der Standard on 1 October 2015. It reads "With his coca leaf portrait, the president will be in need of an explanation at the Austrian customs" in an English translation.