Two of a Kind (Scotland & Catalonia, England & Spain)

Edinburgh, Scotland, October 2004

"Ah think it's quality."

"Really?" Catalonia glanced at Scotland, an uneasy smile flickering across his face. "There's been so much criticism … and the costs have risen a lot…"

"Quality", Scotland repeated, smiling back affirmatively at Catalonia. "And don't worry too much aboot what people say. The architectural critics luv it, and I suppose that's what will matter in the end. They say it melts into the landscape and creates a nexus between man-made culture and the landscape … lemme show you…" He pulled an issue of the Architectural Review out of his briefcase and flicked through it. "Ah, here: They write it's a Celtic-Catalan cocktail to blow both minds and budgets and that it creates a new seam of National Romanticism refined and reinterpreted for the twenty-first century. Sounds well good, innit?"

"A Celtic-Catalan cocktail, huh? I like that." Catalonia's smile broadened, his initial uncertainty forgotten.

Scotland laughed. "Aye, and that cocktail's pure magic! Two proud countries who seek independence from their brothers clan together in order to construct a building that's awash with light and open in order to show my glaikit bastard of a brother what a modern parliament should be like!" He extended a hand towards Catalonia. "My actual name is Alba, by the way. Alasdair, if you prefer human names."

"Catalunya", Catalonia said and grabbed Scotland's hand for a firm shake. "Bernat, if you prefer."

"C'mon, neebur, let's have a bevvy", said Scotland and put his arm around Catalonia's shoulders jovially. "All that talk about cocktails has made me hoora thirsty."

"I only understand half of what you say, but getting something to drink sounds like a decent idea."

England flicked his mobile phone open and called Spain. He had his number on speed dial since he knew a Catalan architect had designed the new building for the Scottish parliament at Holyrood.

"Mmh? Inglaterra?" a sleepy voice greeted him.

"Worst-case scenario, Tony. Scotland's actually becoming friends with him!"

"¿Con quién?" wondered Spain, still sounding rather sleepy. "And don't call me Tony; that's your prime minister's given name."

"I mean your stupid brother, Antonio!", England barked into his phone.

"Which one?"

Legitimate question. England didn't particularly like his brothers either. "Catalonia", he replied.

"Ah, sí, Cataluñ—Wait, what? Escocia is becoming friends with Cataluña?" All at once, Spain sounded a lot less sleepy.

"Yes, that's what I've been trying to tell you all the time, silly twat! I think we should start to rework our anti-independence strategies."

Notes

The Holyrood (the Scottish Parliament Building at Holyrood to the east of the city centre of Edinburgh, inaugurated in October 2004) was designed by a Catalan architect, Enric Miralles Moya (1955-2000). The symbolism isn't lost on me.

Both quotes from the Architectural Review can be found in Catherine Slessor, "Scotland the Brave: Operatic in Both Conception and Execution, Scotland's Long Awaited New Parliament Will Help a Fledgling Institution to Mature and Evolve", in: Architectural Review 216 (2004), pp. 46-63, on p. 48.

I named Catalunya (Catalonia's name in Catalan; the spelling Cataluña is Castilian/Spanish) after Bernard of Septimania (795-844), who was Count of Barcelona from 826 to 832 and from 835 to his execution in 844.

The British prime minister in 2004 was Tony Blair (*1953, British Prime Minister 1997-2007). He initiated referendums for devolved parliaments in Scotland and Wales after his first election to office in 1997.

Some Scots English terms I used:
- quality: great, excellent
- glaikit: stupid
- bevvy (beverage): drink
- neebur (neighbour): friend, mate
- hoora: very
Feel free to correct me if I didn't use them properly.

Con quién means "with whom" in Spanish. Inglaterra is England and Escocia is Scotland.