Chapter 22

For a long string of seconds, Alexis was glued in the doorway, staring at the men. She tried not to stare at Moreno too much. He did remember her, didn't he? She wasn't sure how he'd miss her, seeing as how she and Javier had questioned him not four days ago. Her eyes flicked past Seth and Dominick, who looked at her like she was a bug they'd like to crush under their shoes. Moreno's lips quirked up, but he otherwise showed no emotion. Was that a good sign, or a bad one?

"This is Alexis—" Kevin began.

"Harper. Alexis Harper," she answered.

"She's a regular at the club," he explained. Alexis noticed Seth and Dominick scoff at that explanation.

"We know who she is," Seth said. "We've already made some memories." Kevin's eyes narrowed at that, but didn't engage with the two men.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Moreno said, nodding at her in greeting. She remained glued in the doorway. She was suddenly struck with a sense of deja vu. He'd said more or less the same thing when she and Javier had introduced themselves to him. That time he'd shaken their hands. Maybe context was everything. Maybe without her partner by her side and her badge, he couldn't place her. Maybe if he did remember her at all, Kevin's explanation would assuage any suspicion. His wrist hung past the cuff of his shirt, and she saw the beginning of a black, inked design there.

"She was just leaving," Kevin continued, his voice sounding more and more like the lilt she'd come to associate with Fenton.

"You don't need to stop your games on our part," Dominick sneered.

Neither Kevin nor Moreno batted an eye at the comment, instead letting it hang in the air. Kevin nodded to the door. "I'll call you later," he said to her, a clear dismissal. Alexis took her purse off the couch, passing the men on her way out. She didn't speak to any of them again. As soon as she reached the pavement downstairs, her legs began to shake. By the time she'd hailed a cab and was on her way home, she was putting together the puzzle pieces, her hands shaking and her heart racing.

It wasn't a coincidence that the man she'd interviewed a few days earlier in connection to a murder was showing up at Fenton's apartment and controlling everyone in the room. Was that Fenton's boss? And if that was the case, the was Moreno connected to the club? Was Fenton connected to the murder she and Javier had found? Was he connected to Amelia's murder? Connections were firming in her mind, but she didn't have all the pieces, she needed more information. She texted Fenton's burner phone.

Thanks for a great night. Can't wait to talk you again.

She shoved her phone back in her purse, her stomach twisting with fear and anxiety. Protectiveness told her to call in Javi and whoever else would come to help Kevin with the likely murderer that was in his apartment. But no, she couldn't. She couldn't blow his cover.

Hopefully she hadn't blown it already.

Alexis waited as long as she could to call Kevin, but once it passed 9 pm, almost twelve hours since she'd left Fenton's apartment, she couldn't wait anymore.

When she finally heard his voice on the other end, she thought her heart would explode. "Why haven't you called me? I left almost twelve hours ago."

"And?" Even with the monosyllable, she picked up on the Fenton-esque quality in his voice.

"And I was worried about you!" She hated how shrill she sounded, the way her guard went up in the face of that single word and all the carelessness that accompanied it. She cleared her throat and tried again. "What happened after I left?"

"We took care of business."

She waited to see if he'd elaborate at all, but after enough beats of silence, she realized that he didn't plan to. Why was he being so cagey? He'd been nothing but kindness and reassurances and gentle demands for her to open up to him. Now it sounded like he couldn't care less. She sighed, "Do you want to come over and we can talk? We never really finished our conversation earlier."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

She blinked, and her heart plummeted into her stomach. "Are you joking right now?"

"I think it'd be best if you stayed away from me for a while. At least until things settle down. I've got a lot riding on work right now."

It didn't take a detective to read between the lines: he was dismissing her till his assignment was over. Regardless of the fact that it could take another year to complete, that he'd been all too eager to play with her in the last few weeks, regardless of the fact that she had her own reasons for wanting into the club. Regardless of everything he'd told her that morning about having feelings for her, about forgiving her and wanting her. Regardless of the fact that she wanted him, too.

"No," she answered, her resolve steeling in her chest. "I'm not going anywhere. I have my own work to do, and we are not finished."

"I already told you, you're not going back into that club without me. And I'm not going to take you in there again. You're SOL."

She bit back a growl of frustration. "Can you speak freely?"

There was a pause on the other end. "Hold on." She heard him cover the phone, heard muffled voices, one of which was feminine. She wondered if he was with another sub, and then she stuffed that feeling as deep down as it could go. She'd already played the jealousy game with him and lost. He was a free agent, despite their sessions. If he wanted to play with other subs, he was free. Hell, he could fuck whoever he wanted, too. Whatever was between them wasn't an exclusive deal. And she had more pressing concerns than her ex-boyfriend's cover's fidelity.

"What is it?" he asked. She heard silence on the other end and wondered if he was back in his office.

"Your cover might be blown."

"Excuse me?" His voice took on a sharp edge.

"Moreno. I questioned him about a murder just a few days ago. He… he didn't act like he recognized me in your apartment this morning, but I don't see how he could have forgotten me completely."

Kevin let out of string of curses.

"Did he say anything to you?" she asked. "After I left? Did he say anything or act strangely?"

"No. I had no idea. I mean, Seth and Dominick were being dickheads about you being at my apartment. They kept bringing it up. But Andres didn't seem to care one way or the other."

"That's good, right?"

"Maybe." He sighed. "Or maybe he's playing his cards close to his chest. You cannot come back here, Alexis."

"Does the name Amelia Parry ring a bell?" she asked suddenly. Tension clenched tight in her gut. It had been lurking there in the back of her mind since she'd seen Fenton's tattoo all those weeks ago. And even finding out Fenton's identity hadn't changed that. Maybe Kevin knew her. Maybe Kevin was helping to cover up her murder for his own case. Maybe she'd been into things that Alexis hadn't know about and Kevin had to—

"Who?"

"Amelia," she said the name slower. "She was young. Twenty-four years old. Blonde, slim, maybe five two."

"Was?"

"We picked up her body a few weeks ago. Umbra's address was written on the inside of her arm. We think she might have met somebody there."

"I…. no the name doesn't mean anything to me."

"What about Hector Johnson?" she asked.

"Hector? Yeah. He's—"

"Dead," she finished. "And I think Moreno did it. I… I think he might have been connected to Amelia somehow, too."

"Shit."

"Can you come over? Please. We need to talk about all of this."

"I shouldn't be seen with you, Alexis. I shouldn't even be talking to you right now. If Moreno knows who you are—"

"Then you're already fucked, and you should get out of there!"

"I didn't read anything on him. I think I'm safe. And you're safer if you're far away from me and anything relating to this club. Just… forget the case, okay? Put it on hold. Just for a little while."

"Absolutely not."

"Alexis—"

"There are loved ones waiting for closure. Waiting for me to tell them that I've found justice for their daughter. I'm not stopping. And you would say the same thing if I asked you to stop."

"They can wait a little longer."

She blew out a breath. "Kevin, I'm working this case with or without you. I'm not asking for permission or forgiveness. I'm asking for your help because I think that if we work together, we can solve both our cases. We used to be partners, and I need a partner now. Will you help me? Yes or no."

Silence fell across the line, and Alexis prepared herself for the worst. She took a breath and used the last card she had to play. "You owe me this, Kevin."

She heard him blow out a breath. "I'll come over after I get off. Probably around three. Can you wait that long?"

"Yes," she breathed, glancing at the clock. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me." The line went dead, and she stared at her cell phone for a moment, marveling at the difference between the man she'd left that morning and the one she'd just spoken to on the phone.

She tried to console herself, tried to wrap her head around the events of the last few days. Things would be better once they talked. He wouldn't leave her to face this mess alone.

Fenton found himself knocking lightly on the door to Alexis' apartment at half-past three. Exhaustion pounded behind his eyelids; a hell of a tension headache was brewing. He'd been putting out one fire after another ever since Moreno had shown up at his apartment. Hec hadn't shown up to work, so Fenton had been covering double duty. Now that he'd spoken to Alexis, he knew why.

The door swung open, and Alexis welcomed him in. She'd traded out the skimpy outfit from last night for jeans and a dark green t-shirt. She was still pale, but it looked like she'd showered. She looked gorgeous, even with the casual getup. He realized he hadn't once seen her dressed normally like this since they'd broken up. She'd always been wearing sexy outfits at the club, or the one time he'd seen her in her pajamas when he'd brought her back after their intense session. His stomach twisted as he recalled the intimate particulars of that session. Shit, he did owe her. And he'd never be able to pay her back for the trust she'd shown him.

"Thanks for coming," she said. She closed and locked the door behind him and headed straight for the kitchen. It was straight to business for them, which was fine. It was probably better that way. "You want coffee?"

He shook his head. He'd already had more than enough today. She beckoned him over to her small kitchen table, where a variety of photos were spread out. "This is everything I have on Moreno and the two murders."

Kevin looked over the table, his eyes catching on a picture of Hector with a neat bullet hole in his head.

"You get ballistics back yet?"

"It was a .22, no prints on the bullet." Her eyes cut over to his. "Does Moreno own one?"

"It's possible. He has the means to get just about anything he wants."

"What's he into?" she asked.

"Give you one guess." She'd been around the club often enough to pick up on what they dealt in, even if she'd never sought out a dealer herself or seen a single dimebag.

"Cocaine." It wasn't a question.

"Bingo. He's my target."

"Narcotics sent you on this assignment?" she asked, a crease appearing between her eyebrows.

Confusion flashed through him, and then he realized the question there. "I never went to Boston. It was my cover. The assignment came up about a year ago, my captain in Narcotics was approached by the FBI to have me help them out." Silence settled between them. "I took it," he added unnecessarily.

"That was right after the breakup."

He nodded, suddenly unable to look at her. "Yeah."

"So you've been working this case…. Pretending to be Fenton O'Connell this whole time?"

He nodded. "It seemed like a good fit. I didn't really have anything tying me down."

Alexis thought about that for a moment, then shrugged. "I guess not." She took a breath and rubbed at her face. "Okay, so Moreno's a cocaine kingpin, right? Who's Hector to him really? Because I have a gut feeling that he wasn't ever a bartender."

"He was a dealer. And his deals kept getting busted. He was arrested once, found his way back out, but things kept failing. Moreno must have seen him as a weak link."

Alexis stood upright. "Busted how?"

"The NYPD kept getting wind of it. Maybe Moreno thought Hec was probably working with them, or giving all his secrets up to an undercover cop." Kevin's lips twitched at the irony of that statement, considering who he'd been spending every free hour with over the last few weeks.

Alexis went pale. "Shit."

"What's the matter?"

She sat down at the kitchen table. "It was me," she said. "I'm the leak." Her eyes flicked up to his, her gaze serious. "I planted a microphone in your office. And when I wasn't seeing results on my case, I dropped a few anonymous tips to see if I could scare out more leads."

Kevin allowed himself to process her words for just a moment before fury made the world around him go red. His fingers wrapped around the back of one of her flimsy kitchen chairs. After a year of spending more time in his persona's head than his own, Kevin rarely knew who was running the show anymore, and he was used to the discrepancy and the mental two-person game of musical chairs. But in this moment he and his persona were in agreement. Anger and incredulity and some small measure of something resembling protectiveness churned inside him. "You did what?" his voice had dropped low, to the voice he reserved for scumbags he was trying to intimidate.

Her eyes were glued to the tabletop. "The night Seth and Dominick found me outside your office… They caught me in the hallway. I was actually in your office before that. I picked the lock and placed the bug. I've been collecting audio recordings ever since." She finally met his gaze.

His fingers curled into fists, and he spent a long moment just focusing on breathing. "Do you have any idea what will happen if Moreno finds that bug? If the FBI finds out their investigation has been tampered with… by some goddamn homicide detective working off the books?!" His voice had risen to a shout. The fine edge he'd been living on since he'd put on the Fenton mask, eating, sleeping, lying, working every day toward a world with one less scumbag…. All of it could have been obliterated thanks to one stubborn redhead.

"I didn't know who you were!" She stood up, not back down an inch. "How the hell was I supposed to know the FBI was involved? Up until a few days ago I thought you were just some criminal. I thought—"

"Jesus Christ, did you think I was the murderer?" As soon as the thought appeared in his mind, he couldn't let it go. It poisoned every memory of every scene he'd ever done with her. "You thought you were subbing for a murderer?"

"No! I mean, I wasn't sure... After…. After our first scene, I didn't think you could be the murderer. I knew that you weren't capable of killing someone before I knew who you really were."

Her attempt to placate him wasn't anywhere near enough. "What the hell were you doing in that club in the first place?"

"I told you. Amelia—"

"No, I asked what you were doing in that club. Alone. Without your badge or any backup. You were running around that place for days before we ran into each other. Why? What exactly were you hoping to accomplish?"

She paused, and her eyes slid away from his as she considered how to tell him the truth. Kevin knew that look, and he knew that if she had that look on her face, he wouldn't like the truth she was about to share. She handed him a photo of a girl in a torn, skimpy outfit. A thick, iron collar cut into her neck. Kevin could tell from the state of her clothes and the pattern of bruises on her body that she'd been assaulted before she'd been killed. "That's how we found her. That's… what her murderer did to her."

It took only a second for Alexis' words to click. For the memories of her bouncing from dom to dom wearing a series of very similar outfits to come rushing forward. He recalled the moment he'd seen her in the private room with Seth, alone, a bruise rising on her cheek. "Oh fuck…" he shoved the chair aside, letting it smack loudly against the wall, and stepped into Alexis' space. "You didn't. You haven't. Tell me it's not what I'm thinking. Tell me you're not using yourself as bait to catch a rapist murderer."

She squared her shoulders. "I didn't have another choice."

"Yes, you fucking did! Maybe try your actual job? You know, the legal route where you have a gun and badge and someone watching your back?"

"Our leads dried up. The traditional way wasn't working!"

"This isn't the first time you've done this, is it? This case isn't your first solo act."

"I get results this way, Kevin. I get justice, and those families get closure—"

"And you're gonna get a bullet in your goddamn head!" He grasped her shoulders. "What part of this do you not understand? There's a reason you have a partner, Alexis. What does Javi think about all this?"

"He doesn't know. He suspects, I'm sure." She cleared her throat. "But the mayor is thrilled with our case closure rate, so he and Beckett can't stop me."

Kevin was speechless. He stepped back. "What the hell is wrong with you that you're willing to kill yourself for a higher case closure rate?"

She just blinked at him for a moment, her face betraying shock and hurt at his words. She blew out a breath, then turned away from him, looking back at the table. "It's not about the numbers. Those families—"

"No, don't put this on them. There were grieving families before, back when you and I were doing this together, and even when you and Javier were working together. You didn't used to do this."

"I did this on our very first case," she reminded him. "This is how I work."

The memory of that case was enough to make him pause. Her bruised ribs and screams of pain were burned into his memory. He'd never forget seeing her held at gunpoint, a cut on her cheek, her face ashen as she tried to reason with the man she'd tracked down by herself. "You weren't alone, not when it mattered," he said quietly. "Who do you have to call now? Because it cannot be me. I am up to my eyeballs in this shitshow and I can't be there protect you."

"I never asked you to," she stared at the photos on the table for a long string of seconds. "And I'm not the only one here who's kept hurtful secrets, Kevin."

He let her comment hang in the air. He'd fought that battle enough times already, and he didn't see the outcome changing anytime soon.

She cleared her throat. "Do you know if Seth or Dominick have tattoos?"

The question was so out of left field he almost didn't register it. "What?"

She pointed at a stack of papers on the table. "In Amelia's journal, she talked about the man who invited her to Umbra. He was her dominant, and he introduced her to that dynamic. She never used his name, but she did mention a tattoo."

"I... " Fenton thought back to the times he'd seen the men around the club in various state of dress. "I don't think they do. At least not anywhere you'd see while they're playing the role."

She nodded, like it was just as she suspected. "I've noticed the same. And Moreno?"

"What about him?"

"He has a tattoo, doesn't he?"

"I think so. On his forearm. Where are you going with this?"

"You know what else he has?" she asked. "A history of domestic abuse. His wife fell off their apartment balcony, nine stories up. He was acquitted, but it does look suspicious."

"And?"

She looked up at him then, her eyes narrowing. "He's implicated in at least one other death, just recently, he has a tattoo, he runs a BDSM club, and he has a history of killing women he's intimately involved with."

"You think he killed this Amelia girl." It wasn't a question.

"I know he killed her. Now I just have to prove it."

He sighed, his headache had grown from an incessant pounding to feeling like a jackhammer was pressing against his skull. He rubbed his face. "You are not going to prove anything. He's better at covering his tracks that anyone I've ever met. Why do you think I've been doing this for a year?"

"I have to try."

"No, he will kill you," Kevin said wearily. "You need to quit while you're ahead, princess."

She froze, and suddenly he felt hot. The word had slipped off his tongue without a second thought.

"You don't get to call me that," she said.

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't think. But I do care about what happens to you. And I'm not wrong. You are in over your head, and if you just cut losses now, you can walk away from this." He took a breath. "Walk away from this, Alexis. Please."

She shook her head. "Which is it, Kevin? Am I a goddamn homicide detective with something wrong in my head? Or am I somebody you care about?"

"I'm afraid I'm going to find your body one of these days. And I know if that that happens I'll never forgive myself. I care about you…. Probably more than you're willing to hear." He reached for her hand, and to his surprise she let him take it. "And if I was free right now, to do what I want, to be who I want to be instead of who I have to be, maybe things could be different. But I'm not free, and I can't think any further ahead than tomorrow."

"You weren't saying that this morning."

"I know. This morning was… I got lost in having you around. Lost in what we used to have, between us, and between you and Fenton. And right now I wish I was back there, before Moreno came in and reminded me what I have to lose." He laced their fingers together. "I need you to let this case go. I need you to take care of yourself, okay? Whatever you think you have to do, and whatever reason you have for thinking that the answer is sacrificing yourself, forget it, okay? Nothing is worth that price. Nothing in this whole goddamn world is worth losing you. And I know that better than anyone."

Her eyes widened, and she let go of his hand and stepped closer to him. She touched his chest, tentatively at first, and then let her arms slid up the fabric of his jacket to link behind his neck. Kevin echoed her movements, letting his hands slide down to her hips. Her forehead pressed against his. "I miss you," she said.

"I know."

"We don't have to do this alone. We could be a team again. You and me at the club. We can take him down together."

"It's not a risk I'm willing to take."

"It's not an opportunity I'm willing to miss."

He pulled back for just a moment, and his eyes caught on her lips. God, he missed kissing her. He missed every little thing about her, even the stubbornness that threatened to drive him insane. He saw desire and something tender in her eyes. Saw her inching forward and tilting her head in invitation. Still, something held her back from crossing the gap and kissing him. Probably the same thing that kept him from kissing her, even though it was all he wanted in the entire world.

He stepped back, giving her hands one more squeeze before breaking their connection entirely. "Thank you for this information. I'll take it to my handler at the FBI, and I'm sure it'll help us bring down Moreno."

"And Amelia?" she asked.

"We will get justice for her. I promise."

"You promise?" She shook her head, skepticism clear on her face, like she knew better than to believe in his promises.

"Out of all the things I want to give you, it's the only thing I really have to offer." With a ragged exhale, he stepped away from her and the kitchen full of case files. "I should get back."

"What if it's not enough?" she pressed. "What if I can't let this one go?"

His hand on her doorknob, he tensed at her words. He wished he'd made it out of her apartment before she'd confessed that to him. He turned back to her, unable to wipe the regret off his face. "If you can't let this go, aside from the obvious danger you'd be putting yourself in, you'd also be guilty of tampering with a federal investigation."

Her eyes widened at his implied threat. "You wouldn't."

"You shouldn't be surprised at the lengths I'll go to when you're involved." He sighed. "I can't have this conversation with you anymore. Be safe, or don't. It's your choice, right?"

The regret on her face matched his own. "Goodnight, Alexis." He was met with silence as he left her apartment, shutting the door behind him.