Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer and JKR own every person, place, and thing.

EsPOV

Little Henry is soon becoming the apple of each of our eyes. As soon as we leave Edward and Hermione behind to talk to the headmaster the sweet bundle woke up. The first thing I noticed is that the poor baby was suffering a furious case of bed-head. His curls are sticking up in every direction. He looks up at Rosalie and smiles showing a full row of teeth on his cherubic face. That smile nearly brought me to my knees. My grandbaby. He looks to be about the size of a 9 month old baby although he is only 2 months according to the headmaster. He looks away from Rosalie's cooing at him to view each of us. His bright brown eyes take us each in and I can't help but fall in love with him all over again when he gives us a small wave. We wave back and he hides his face in Rosalie's neck and smiles.

"He is the cutest!" Alice screeched. "We have to shop for clothes, and bottles, and a crib, and clothes, and shoes, and diapers, and clothes…" she goes on but I eventually tune her out. I look beside her at Jasper who is smiling like a loon. He must be feeding of Rosalie's emotions. I have never seen her so happy.

"Carlisle, I can honestly say that coming to wizarding Britain was the best decision of our lives." I say as I look at my husband and gesture towards our children.

"I know. We were only supposed to stay a few months and go back but I don't think I could even fathom doing that when we are so out in the open here. It is wonderful not having to hide. We everyone we met so far have been so nice and welcoming."

"Don't worry dad, we won't be going back." Alice informed us. "Albus will commission us a house on the grounds near the castle before school starts. We won't be leaving it for the foreseeable future."

I can't help but be excited at that prospect. It is hard moving around all the time and little Henry deserves stability. He is squirming in Emmett's arms now with a big grin on his face as. I was worried that Emmett wouldn't be ready to be a father; maybe there is hope.

"Emmett, can I hold him?" I ask reaching for him. Henry reaches forward to me and I hold the giggly baby in my arms.

"Welcome to the family little one." I say as I poke his little belly to illicit a gurgle sound. What a cutie. I notice little Henry stops for a moment and starts grunting and getting red in the face. Oh no.

"Here you are Emmett. He wants his daddy." I am anxious to see how Emmett handles this. To my right I see Alice in hysterics so I can only imagine.

EMPOV

I take my son back from my mom. The little tyke is so cute. I can't wait to teach him pranks! First I will actually have to teach him puppy-dog eyes so he can get away with the pranks. Rosalie can't resist them.

All of a sudden I start to smell something awful.

"Eww Rosalie! Did you fart?" I ask. She looks back at me with disbelief and… is that pity on her face?

"Emmett we are vampires. We don't fart. I do know what the bad smell is though." She tells me as she points to Henry.

"Don't call my baby boy smelly!" I shield him away from her insults. He is just a harmless baby. As I go to move him I notice that his back is wet, and so is my pant leg. Where did this green stuff come from? Did the baby get a hold of some peas? I bring it up to my face and I realize what it is.

"Holy Shit!" I yell looking for some sympathy.

Instead, Rosalie looks at me and says, "Exactly." She gives me an evil smile and hands me a diaper and some wipes.

What the hell? She expects me to change him?!

"Rosalie, you do it! I have crap all over me so I should go clean up." I try to reason with her.

"No reason for it to get on both of us." Damn infuriating woman. I take Henry to the bathroom with me so I can get him changed. Okay, first thing first is to get out of the poop infested onesie. I undo all the buttons and move it up and past his shoulders. I didn't realize it at the time but I just spread the poop up his back and into his hair. Gross. Rosalie comes in and gives a change of clothes for the both of us and runs back out cackling like mad. I will show her! I can get our baby clean! The next step is to remove the offensive diaper. That was easy enough. I am gathering the wipes when I feel a string of pee hit my chest! Noooo! I grab the poopy diaper and try to cover him up until he is done but the only good it did was smearing the shit even more. Good grief. Just when I thought it couldn't get worse I hear the telltale signs of his grunts and he poops all over the table.

I wipe him off enough to get him into the bath. Before I put him in there I change clothes so I could be rid of the smell. I wash him up and pay particular attention to his hair. He is such a good little man since he has done nothing but laugh the entire time. He looks clean enough but I can still smell the crap. Oh well. I walk outside to join the others so they can praise me for cleaning the baby. I hand Henry off to Rosalie so she can give him her approval.

"Well, the baby is clean Emmett." That's it? That is all I get? She didn't even say it with a straight face. Why is everyone laughing?!

"Emmett" Jasper interrupts my fuming. "You have shit on your face." This causes them all to get louder! I run to the bathroom and sure enough I have shit on my face. I take a quick shower and join the others. I won't forget there ridicule. They each have pranks coming their way. I WILL BE AVENGED!

EsPOV

"Honestly, I am surprised he did that well. I am sort of proud of him." I tell the group.

"It was surprising that he even agreed to change him without putting up more of a fight." Rosalie agreed.

The group shared a look at one another and it seemed that we all shared the same line of thinking. Mature Emmett won't last long. We embarrassed him and that means he will want to retaliate.

"We need to watch our back for him" Jasper informed us all. We nod in agreeance.

We are silent as Rosalie tries to get baby Henry back to sleep. Shortly after Emmett comes back, stain free. Cedric joined in about five minutes later and we caught him up on what happened.

"I can't believe that Edward and Hermione soul-bonded!" Cedric stated. "Harry and Ron will kill him!"

"Hopefully he gets laid first. It would suck to die a virgin." Jasper says causing everyone in the group besides Carlisle and myself to laugh.

"Edward's a virgin?! But… but…. He is like 100 years old?!" Cedric exclaims.

"I will have you know that Edward is honorable." I cut in causing everyone to laugh harder. I am getting frustrated now and even Carlisle looks like he is going to bust a gut. I get up and stand right in front them.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF EDWARD IS OVER 100 AND IS A VIRGIN! HE WAITED FOR THE RIGHT PARTNER!" I roared. You really shouldn't poke a momma bear.

Everyone is dead silent. Carlisle points behind me and there stands Edward and Hermione.

Oh Shit!

HPOV

The room clears and Edward and I stand there along with the headmaster. His smile makes me want to throw something at him in upheaval. How can he be so calm?

"So Hermione and Edward. This an amazing situation you find yourself in." We just stare back at the headmaster in incredulity.

"Headmaster, no offence but I am magically married to a man I don't know anything about. I can imagine he isn't too happy about the situation either." I say but Edward just shrugs. Wait, what?!

"You mean to tell me you don't feel let down about not getting to fall in love naturally? Don't you realize what this bond will do? You will feel attracted to me even though you don't know me! It is all so superficial!" I rave at him.

"Hermione, I don't know enough about the bond to form an educated opinion." He tells me a little tensely.

Since when do you care about sounding educated? I literally roll my eyes as Edward scoffs in my direction. Stupid mind reader.

"Now is not the time for jumping at each other's throats. You should be growing the bond and getting to know each other. Hermione, I know how close-minded you tend to be about things that can be right in front of you. Are you honestly saying you didn't feel drawn to Edward right away? There has to be a reason for that." The headmaster said.

"Oh I don't think it was me who was drawn in, Headmaster" I say flippantly.

"Can we PLEASE just forget about that?" Edward pleads almost desperately.

"Sure" Meaning not a chance at hell!

Edward growls at me. Well, if he doesn't likes my thoughts he should stay the hell out of my mind!

"I can't control it. I never have been able to." Oh. Why can Cedric control it and Edward can't?

"Hermione, Edward, I am asking for you two to be reasonable. This really is a blessing. Edward how long were you without a mate?" The headmaster asks.

Edward winces. "Over a century."

He must not be thinking about his lovers when he says that. I can't help but be a little bitter. Part of my soul is trying to claim him after all….

Edward freezes. "Maybe we should explain the bond to him calmly, Hermione." The headmaster insists.

"A soul bond signifies that you have found your life mate. They are incredibly rare because that means that the souls recognize each other. Many believe it is a form a reincarnation where souls match up with their partners from their former life. The bond means that we will become possessive of one another. From my understanding it almost acts like its own separate entity. If it is not pleased than it will find a way to force us together." I explain to him in a bitter tone.

The next thing I know he is standing in front of me lifting up my chin so that I would stare directly in his eyes. "I would never allow myself to do anything you wouldn't want to do. Bond or no bond. Even if it was unhappy I would NEVER harm you or push you." His eyes are burning into mine and I can tell he meant it.

EPOV

"Thank you" she whispers back.

"Edward, I will go ahead and tell you that due to the nature of the bond you are going to have to spend as much time as possible with Hermione, meaning sharing a room. You don't have to do anything… I will let Hermione give you those details; however, it would pain you to be away from her for more than an hour. Hermione the same goes for you." We both shake our heads at him.

"He can stay in my room. I don't want to part with my library." She says looking at me.

"Library? What kind of books do you have? How many?" Oh shit. Way to go Edward! Show her how much of a dork you are! "Uh, I mean… that's cool. - cool- cool- cool- cool- cool" Good God, Edward! Quoting Brooklyn 99! Yeah, because Jake Peralta is such a ladies man. I am almost afraid to look at her but decide overall it is worth the risk so that I can assess the damage done.

Hermione looks at me almost feral-like. "You like to read?" she asks through clenched teeth.

I only nod. I am too scared for my life right now to lie to seem cool. I bet she can smell the fear. What a scary womaaa- I don't even get to finish my thought because she pounces on me and attacks my lips. She wraps her arms and legs around me and I have to hold her ass to keep her from falling down. I begin to respond because, well, I am technically a 17 year old with hormones and she is my soul mate so, duh? I hope she can't tell I am a virgin just by a kiss.

"AHEM" oh shit. I forgot the headmaster was even here. Hermione jumps away from me like I have been set of fire.

"Well, it would seem that the two of you will figure this out together. Do have a good rest of the day."

I am too busy standing there with a dopey grin on my face to notice the dismissal. Hermione grabs my hand and practically drags me out of the office because she is going so fast.

"Cullen Quarters" I hear her say to the sleepy portrait. When did we make it all the way back here? I try to shake myself out of the daze but can't help but to keep the smile. We walk in and I see Esme stand and turn her back to Hermione and I. What is going on?

"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF EDWARD IS OVER 100 AND IS A VIRGIN! HE WAITED FOR THE RIGHT PARTNER!" Esme shouted.

Dopey smile is now gone. I am mortified.

Fuck my life.