Alright...news.

So, apparently, my carpal tunnel went from being 'a slight nuisance after writing a few sentences by hand' to 'acute pain unable to bend my wrist in any direction and constantly throbbing'. So yeah. That's a thing. My doctor says that I'm lucky that I manage to type in a certain way, because my habits stop it from agitating my wrist. I've been wearing a brace a few days, and it's been getting better, though, so at least there's that.

But here's a chapter that's bigger than usual, so at least there's that! :)

Chapter Fifteen - Rhodey, Pepper and Happy, Part Two

"Alright, I'm twenty years old," I said, "And I'm married to a wonderful man who's currently on the other side of the country. Sorry guys, none of you are our type."

"Our?" Pepper squeaked.

I shrugged. "We're open to other people joining us. Depends on the situation. If we both fall in love with someone, or one of us falls in love with someone, then we'll talk it out. Polyamorous relationships are mostly pushed off, but they should be taken much more seriously. Plus, I find that communication makes things so much easier. Where I come from, there's a group of kids that I would bet all of Tony's money would end up in a poly relationship when they're all older."

The four were staring at me, even Tony.

"Right, it's 2010," I sighed. "Anyway, continuing on. As Rhodey has already heard, I know the future and also have magic. Those are not as related as you think; my magic doesn't allow me to see the future. Also, it's only a possible future. Now that we've come and started fucking things up, we're already on a different path."

The other three stared at me, Tony no longer surprised. I floated a cake slice over to Happy.

"Are you an alien?" Rhodey finally asked.

"No, I'm not an alien, yes, this is my real hair color," I answered. "And in the future, I will be teaching 'How to Care for your Pet Genius 101'."

"Hey!" Tony said.

I paused in my cutting. "I guess this slice is for me, then?"

His eyes widened. "No, please Elle!"

"It can't be that good," Rhodey said.

"Then I'll just take yours!" Tony shouted.

I used my magic to push him back down onto the seat. "Bad Tony. Now you really shouldn't get another piece of cake, I was just teasing originally. No stealing."

"Please!" Tony whined.

"No," I said, turning and putting the cake back in the fridge. "Jarvis, are their electronic locks on the fridge door?"

"Yes, there are," Jarvis said. "Would you like me to regulate them, Mrs. Dreyar?"

"Yes, please," I said, closing the door. "Tony needs someone else if he wants to get in."

"Understood."

"Traitors!" Tony shouted, sinking down in his chair.

"I don't get what you're making such a big deal about," Rhodey complained, finally taking a bite. He swallowed it. "Okay, now I'm starting to see it."

"He's my best friend, we steal food from each other all the time," Tony complained.

"Is he alright with that?" I asked.

"Yes!"

"Just for the record, I am not alright with you stealing this cake," Rhodey said, taking another bite. "You know I'll usually give you what I'm eating, Tones, but this is the exception."

"But caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake," Tony whined.

"I still don't understand what's going on," Pepper said slowly.

I nodded, ignoring Tony's whines and eyes. Now he looked more like a kicked puppy than a cat. "So, since I know the future, I also know how to fix Tony's dying problem."

"His what?" Pepper shrieked, paling. "He was telling the truth?"

"Why would I lie about that?" Tony asked.

"I don't know!" Pepper yelled. "But it's better than it being true!"

"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you!" Tony yelled back, throwing his hands in the air.

"I mentioned fixing it, right?" I interrupted them. "Look, he's gonna be sick for a while, but we're gonna find a solution, and I do have some Healing Magic, enough to buy us a lot more time."

"How are you dying?" Rhodey asked, turning to Tony.

Tony sighed. "The palladium in the arc reactor has been discharging into my bloodstream. If we don't find an element that will be accepted by the human body, then I'll end up dying from palladium poisoning."

"But you can fix it?" Pepper turned to me desperately, and the others followed her gaze.

I nodded. "He'll be okay. He's probably going to be acting a bit weird for the next few months, so I'm gonna be his impulse control."

"I've known you one day, Elle, and I'm pretty sure you have no impulse control," Tony pointed out.

I stuck my tongue out at him. "I'll be able to stop you from making really, really, REALLY stupid decisions." Like the racecar driving and the party, I thought. I looked at the other three. "He's gonna be sick for a while, but he'll end up okay."

Tony nodded. "It'll take a while," he agreed. "But-"

He was unable to finish over the simultaneous groaning from the other three.

"'Course there's a catch," Pepper said darkly.

"What?" I asked, confused. "There's no catch. Why do you think there's a catch?"

"He said 'but'," Rhodey said plainly.

"Well, as you can tell from the cake, we're working on Tony's communication skills," I said. "He originally wasn't going to tell you about this, but he made contingency plans in the case of his death, and even though he's not going to die," I emphasized, "Tony and I agree that some of those plans should still be implemented."

"Yeah," Tony said, nodding. "Like, Elle's gonna be my new PA!"

"What?" Pepper cried.

I facepalmed. "Tony, communication. What did you forget to tell Pepper first?"

"What do you mean?" he asked me.

"She thinks you just fired her!" I told him, gesturing to her pale face.

"Oh, shit!" he spun around. "No, no, no, I'm not firing you! I'm giving you a promotion!"

"What?" Pepper asked, some color returning.

"Well…if I died, I wanted the company to be in good hands. But then I realized, you're already doing just about everything other than actual engineering in an unofficial capacity, and you should get recognized for it. So, I'm making you CEO!"

The three stared at him.

"You're making me…CEO?" Pepper asked in a strangled sort of voice.

"Yep!" Tony said eagerly.

"I don't think you can bump someone straight to CEO from PA," Happy said.

"Don't care, doing it anyway," Tony said. "My company, my rules."

"Not anymore," I pointed out. "Pepper's company. Well, I mean you still have majority stock, but you get the idea."

Tony pouted at me, before spinning back to look at Pepper. "So, I figured we should throw an announcement party! This Friday, in New York!"

"What?" Pepper asked.

"There's already that one charity ball, see? We can announce it there!"

I shook my head. "No, Tony, that will redirect attention from the charity to Pepper. We should do it the day after."

Tony pouted. "So, Saturday morning?"

"That makes more sense," I nodded.

"I'm still dragging you to the ball," he told me.

I rolled my eyes.

"Wait, I haven't even agreed yet!" Pepper pointed out.

"But you're not going to disagree," Rhodey said, and Pepper sighed.

"No, I'm not," she sighed.

"Perfect," Tony said. "What else was there?"

"A week from Friday, we'll be making an announcement regarding your health," I reminded him.

Pepper's eyes widened. "Tony, if you tell people you're dying, SI's stock is going to drop like crazy."

I shook my head. "We've been planning it out. Tony has some tech that will slowly be released after his death because SI's board teemed it too high tech for the modern person."

Tony nodded. "It's true, too. Even commercializing holograms, it would still be too much for consumers. Tech needs to build itself up first, otherwise it'd overwhelm the public and they wouldn't want to use it."

"In addition to that," I continued. "We'll be using Tony's 'impending death'-" I made quotation marks to remind them that Tony wasn't actually going to die, "to be able to make some more things and make certain deals with the government in our favor."

"You're really doing this?" Rhodey asked.

Tony nodded. "Just hold off the government for a little bit more, Honey Bear. Please. We know what we're doing."

"What about me?" Happy asked.

I shrugged, "You keep driving Tony."

"I can drive myself!" Tony said.

I didn't really blame Tony for wanting to drive himself. His parents died in a car accident, and he also wasn't the one driving when the convoy was attacked in Afghanistan, which probably just added on to his fear in his subconscious.

I'd seen Happy drive a car with Tony in it, but the only time I can think of is when Happy and Tony were dropping off Peter in the beginning of Homecoming.

"Tony, it's not reasonable for me to teleport you everywhere," I muttered rolling my eyes. "And I'm not exactly comfortable with you driving when you're sick."

As he opened his mouth I continued. "And I don't know how to drive, remember?"

I lived in downtown Boston, less than ten minutes away from my workplace. I didn't need a car.

And I always just sort of teleported back in Fiore.

"Fine," he sulked.

I rolled my eyes. "Less driving means more time experimenting."

He brightened at that.

"Uh…" Rhodey interrupted, him and Happy staring behind me. Tony and Pepper twisted around in their seats.

"Milo! Get off the counter!" I said to the kitten.

He froze.

"Milo," I said sternly. He looked back and forth between me and the frosting left on the counter.

"Just take him off, Elle," Tony said. "You can't get a cat to listen."

I didn't listen to him. "Milo…Down."

The kitten leapt off the counter.

"I can't believe he listened to you," Tony muttered.

"Kitten's smarter than you," I said, ruffling his hair. "Maybe I'll give him cake."

"Elle," Tony whined.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm joking. You can't give a cat cake, it'll get sick." I cleaned up the frosting. "But I'm not that surprised he listened. He's your cat."

"But Tony doesn't listen," Happy pointed out.

Rhodey snorted.

"Not that," I said. "But they're Tony's. So they're gonna be smart."

"That's not how it works, Elle," Tony said.

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Maybe not in the normal world," I reminded him. "But remember what I said about this one? We randomly found cats in a back alley when I had decided that you should have cats. They were destined for you, and so they'll be smart. Because they're yours."

"Tony," Rhodey moaned.

"I'm not that insane," I told him.

"You sound kinda insane," Tony said. "But you also kinda make sense."

I shrugged. "I'm like 89% sure. No. Wait. I'm 88% sure." I smiled. "So there's a 12% chance I'm wrong."

Tony snorted.

"Dear God, there's two of them," Pepper moaned.

I frowned. "I thought we already cleared that up."

"No, she's right," Rhodey sighed. "There's two of them now."

"Not true!" Tony protested.

"Yeah!" I said. "I take care of people! Tony can barely take care of himself!"

"She's right!" Tony said. "and hey!"

"You know you can earn cake back, right?" I asked him.

"I'll be quiet now."

"This is insane," Happy said. "She made him quiet."

"You don't need to be quiet to earn cake back, Tony," I told him. "Being loud is who you are. And I'm trying to get you to communicate more. You just need to be quiet about certain things in particular."

He smirked. "Oh, like your name?"

"Cake is still in the air," I reminded him.

"There's nothing wrong with your name," he told me.

"There is when assholes who use Amaterasu formulas call me by it the entire time I'm there."

Tony's smile dropped off. "Oh."

"What is it?" Rhodey said, he and the others noticing the change in the air.

"Nothing," Tony shook his head. "Anyway, Pepper, JARVIS and I talked to builders and we're going to start building a tower in New York!"

He tapped the island and projected the blueprints to show them, and Rhodey approached me to take me aside.

"Walk with me," the man told me, and I followed him outside.

"So," I said after a bit of silent walking. "Is this where you give me the platonic version of the shovel talk?"

"No," He said. "This is where I thank you."

I paused and stared at him. "What?"

"This is where I thank you," he repeated. "I don't know where you come from, or what you believe, or even what your end goal is. And I don't necessarily trust you, either. But I've watched over Tony for years. And by now, I've learned when people are in it for the long run. So thank you for looking out for him when I can't. Because I can tell that you care, and that's what matters."

I smiled at him. "No problem. I like being there for Tony. He deserves more people around him."

I frowned, remembering what happened in the movies. The worst part about everything was that by the end, Tony was almost always alone.

"Yeah," Rhodey nodded, giving me an appraising look. "He does."

A few hours later, after agreeing over things, Pepper, Rhodey and Happy all left.

While the announcement of Pepper's jump to CEO wouldn't be until Saturday morning, we'd sign the company over on Thursday, and then file the rest of the paperwork over the next few weeks.

When they were gone, I turned to look at Tony, who was leaning against the island, thinking.

"So…" I crossed my arms. "When were you going to tell me about the charity ball?"

"…Friday?" Tony answered, scooping Marie off the ground and using her to hide his face.

"Of all the cats to hide behind, you not only choose a kitten, but the smallest," I shook my head.

Tony pouted and lowered Marie, allowing her to curl up on his shoulder. "I wasn't really planning on going to this one," he admitted.

"Tony, it's for charity," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I know," he said. "But it's full of stuffy old rich people. They'll spend most of the time talking about how much money they spent on their outfits. I was probably going to just go to an actual charity instead or something."

I smirked at him. "Remember the 'chaos' I mentioned? What makes you think I'd leave a charity ball alone? I'm going to fuck up the status quo, especially when it comes to fucking with them."

"You did mention that," Tony admitted. "But how?"

I smiled, sitting on the couch, and a few of the kittens started hopping up to curl on my legs. Tony sat next to me and took the rest of the kittens, and Duchess gave us both a look from where she sat on the arm of the couch, upset with the shaking.

I looked at Tony. "You said they spend a lot of money on their clothes, right?"

"Accessories, too," Tony muttered.

"Okay, so here's what we'll do," I said. "I'll grab Lucy's spirit, Virgo, and the three of us will go shopping for fabric. That's it, just fabric. And we'll set a limit, like no more than a certain amount can be spent, like...$50 each."

"$100," Tony countered.

I rolled my eyes. "You don't even know what you're arguing for, but we'll see. Anyway, then Virgo will make what we're going to wear. And it'll look amazing, just you wait. And then we'll show off our outfits, and me, the clueless newcomer when it comes to the higher lifestyle, will ask why the hell they'd spend so much on their clothing when they could just give the rest of their money for charity, because that's the whole point of the ball in the first place."

Tony laughed. "That's great!"

"And we'll set the rules at the previous charity ball, and switch it up at the next one," I explained. "For example, we're the only ones who will be making our outfits cheap this time. Next time, everyone else will also do it, and so will we, but we'll add another touch onto it."

Tony nodded. "Setting a trend."

I smiled. "Let's break the internet."

We high-fived and tried to get up to go do some science, which led to the kittens getting upset.

"Wow, cats are needy," Tony muttered, and he stopped shifting.

"Yes, you are," I said, rubbing his hair.

He glared at me, but his heart wasn't in it.

"I'm getting up anyway," I told the kittens.

They didn't move.

Tony chuckled.

I sighed. "Have it your way." I grabbed the blankets from the back of the couch and warming them up, before I bunched them together and shifted the cats onto it.

"Wow, they didn't even move," Tony muttered. The cats had barely changed positions.

"They're comfortable," I said, pulling Tony's cats off of his lap and putting them with the others. "It doesn't take much for them to get back into place, but they'll stay here since I warmed up the blanket." I patted the seat of the couch. "When a cat is on a person, and the person has to leave, the cat is usually more upset by the lack of body heat than by how comfortable the position is, though that probably changes depending on the climate."

"They like heat?" Tony asked.

I snorted. "They will fight you for heat. I've seen Lucy and Happy fight over Natsu before, because he burns a lot hotter, not just because he's a Dragon Slayer, but also because his element is fire."

Tony nodded, and started leading the way downstairs. "Hey, Elle, how are you going to get Virgo?"

"I'll just go visit her in Roswell," I shrugged. I had told Tony where everyone was stationed when I was discussing part of my plan.

"Uh, Roswell is pretty far from here," Tony pointed out.

I frowned. "JARVIS, what's the distance between here and Roswell?"

"It is approximately 980 miles to Roswell, New Mexico," JARVIS said. "If one is traveling in a straight line and avoiding all obstacles."

I winced. "Well, Corvus should visit in a day or two, at least, so there's that…and I guess we can always try screaming at the sky if we need to. The Celestial Spirit World was switched over, after all, so they might be able to hear."

"Wait, how far can you teleport?" Tony asked. "Because if the jump from here to Roswell is too much…"

"It would be," I admitted. "And that's going to be another thing I'll practice this month. Fiore is around the size of New Jersey…hell, even smaller. I haven't actually ever jumped that far in comparison."

"Didn't you say you were planning to jump to Culver from Roswell, though?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, remembering the plan. "Why, how far is it?"

"It's probably around 2,000 miles," he said, giving me a look.

I winced. "…Yeah, that'll need some practicing. I didn't exactly know where Culver University is. Oh well, we have a month."

"Now," Tony clapped his hands together. "Let's get to work."

980 is my guess from using my finger as a measurement on Google Maps.

No, no one will be joining Elle and Laxus's relationship. But this is a head's up that some of the couples may gain a third member (probably not your OTPs don't worry).

Also, yes, you will eventually get the Happy and Lucy fight in Ripples. :)

Cats do love heat. In my old house, there was only one vent that had enough space to sit in front of, at the bottom of the stairs. Whenever the heat came on, both my cat and I would rush for it and fight for a spot (we eventually came to an agreement in which I pinned down blankets around the edges of the heater, and both of us sat under the blanket in the warm air.