Chapter 4

The last 4 weeks had been hell for both Eddie and Jamie, but different types of hell.

For Jamie, his hell was the emotional pain of being separated from Eddie. They'd had no contact at all. The only time they'd seen each other was for a split second as Eddie passed by his office. After that, Eddie started taking the back way, to avoid seeing him.

Eddie's hell had been much different than Jamie's. She missed him, of course she did, but she really didn't give herself that much time to think about him. She'd been working 80 hour weeks. Basically the only thing she did once she got home was sleep. The only other thing she'd done in those 4 weeks was see Oliver. She didn't really have any interest in him other than the fact that the sex was good, and it got her mind off of Jamie.

Jamie had been able to keep up the act with his family, well, everyone except Danny. He hadn't even told his dad. He didn't want the family to stick their noses in it. Some things were meant to be private, even with family.

Eddie hadn't told anyone either. She and Rachel hadn't talked about it anymore after the day it happened. The only thing Eddie had told Rachel about was the nausea she'd had about 3 weeks after the first time she and Oliver had had sex.

"Do you think you're pregnant?" Rachel asked. She and Eddie had gone to a bar after shift.

"I don't know. I hope not. I really can't handle that right now."

"Well, are you gonna take a pregnancy test?"

"Yeah, I guess I kinda have to." She stared down at her beer. "I guess you can have this, then." She slid the beer over to Rachel. "I think I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go pick up a pregnancy test and then go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good luck." Rachel said, as Eddie put on her jacket.

Eddie tossed a 10 on the table and then walked out to her car. She picked up a few different kinds of pregnancy tests at the convent store on her block, and then went home. It took her an hour to build up the courage to pee on those damned sticks. Once she did, she decided she didn't want to look at them until the morning. She quickly changed into her pajamas. She climbed into bed and got a night full of restless sleep.

In the morning, she'd walked into the bathroom and forced herself to look at the results.

The first stick said pregnant. The second one had 2 blue lines. The third said 3-4 weeks. The fourth one said 6-7 weeks. Well, that was confusing. She was pregnant, but whose baby was it? If she was 3-4 weeks, it was Oliver's. If she was more than 4 weeks, it was Jamie's. Why did this have to be so confusing?

"So, what did the test say?" Rachel asked, as she and Eddie began their patrol.

"They all said pregnant. I took two that told you how far along you are. The first one said 3-4 weeks. The second one said 6-7. I don't know which one's correct. If I'm further than 4 weeks, then it's Jamie's. If I'm under 4 weeks, then it's not Jamie's. I'm gonna have to schedule a doctor's appointment."

"So what are you gonna do?"

Eddie rubbed her hands down her face before answering.

"I don't know. If I'm over 4 weeks, and it's Jamie's, I guess I'll tell him. If I'm under 4 weeks, and it's Oliver's, I don't think I'm gonna tell him."

"So you'd just raise the baby on your own if it's Oliver's?"

"No. If it's Oliver's, then I'm gonna get an abortion. I'm not gonna bring a kid into the world to be resented by their mom their whole life. I think a part of me would always resent them. They would've been conceived out of lust, not love."

"Would you tell Jamie, even if it's not his?"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him. If it's not his, he doesn't have the right to know."

"Don't you think Oliver does? I mean, shouldn't he at least know that he had a kid?"

"No. It's my choice. I'm not going to tell him, even if it is his. Right now, I'm not there yet. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

Well, that bridge had come.

"So, what're you in for today?" The doctor asked, as she walked into the exam room. Eddie was sitting on the exam table.

"I took some pregnancy tests about a week about. They all said pregnant. I took two that tell you how far along you are. One of them said 3-4 weeks and the other said 6-7. I just need to know which one it is." Eddie explained.

"Does it make a difference, if I may ask?"

"Yeah, if I'm over 4 weeks, then it's my husband's. If I'm not, then it's not."

"Oh, I see."

"No, it's not like that. My husband and I have been on a break from our marriage for the past month. I didn't cheat on him." Eddie didn't want the doctor to get the wrong idea.

"You don't have to explain it to me, Mrs. Reagan. I'm not here to judge you."

"I know, but still."

"Ok, well, I'm going to go get the ultrasound. I'll be right back."

The doctor left the room and then came back a few moments later, ultrasound behind her.

"Ok, can you just lean back? Lift up your shirt to your bra and undo the button and zipper of your pants."

Eddie did as she was told and braved herself for the cold gel.

"Yep, there's the little one."

A white blob appeared on the black screen.

"Here you can see the beginnings of the arms and legs." The doctor pointed out. "You can see the beating of the heart. Would you like to listen to the heart beat?"

Eddie simply nodded. Suddenly the room was filled with the whooshing noise of the baby's heart.

"I53. Perfect."

"How far along am I?" Eddie asked. She wanted to get this over with. Rip off the bandaid.

"You're measuring about 7 weeks. I'm assuming that means congratulations are in order."

"I don't know if I say that, but it's definitely a relief."

"Would you like to discuss your options?"

"No. I'm not going to have an abortion. I'm gonna have the baby."

"Ok. Your next appointment will be in about 5 weeks. It'll be your 12 weeks scan."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"You're welcome, and good luck."

The doctor left the room. Eddie wiped the gel off her stomach and fixed her clothes. She walked out to the front desk and paid for the appointment. Once she got to her car, she pulled up Jamie's contract and sent him a quick text.

We need to talk. Can you meet me at the apartment?

Eddie only waited for a few moments before a reply came.

Sure. I'll be there in 30.

Eddie placed her phone in the cup holder and started her journey back to the apartment. Once home, she put on a pot of coffee and waited for Jamie to get there.

Just like he'd said, he arrived 30 minutes after he'd sent the text.

"Hi." He greeted quietly, as Eddie opened the door.

"Hi. Come on in." Eddie said, as she moved out of the way.

Once Jamie was inside, she closed the door and walked over to the dinning room where he was standing.

"Do you want any coffee? I just brewed a fresh pot." Eddie asked, trying to make things less awkward.

"Uh, no. I'm good."

"Ok."

"So, I'm assuming you asked me here to tell me you want a divorce, right?" Wow, he really wasn't holding back.

"No. That's not why."

"Then why? Why did you chose today, after 4 weeks, to ask me to come over?"

"Because I went to the doctor. I actually just finished about 30 minutes ago. I found out that I'm pregnant."

"Are you sure it's mine?" Jamie blurted out.

"Well, to be fair, at first I wasn't sure."

"Did you cheat on me?"

"No. I didn't. I have started seeing someone since the break up, though. I wasn't sure if it was his or not. The doctor confirmed it's not his. I'm about 7 weeks along. It's definitely yours."

"Oh." Jamie said, at a loss for words.

"That's all you're gonna say?"

After thinking about his next words for a few moments, he responded.

"What do you want me to say? I mean this isn't exactly the best time for a baby."

"I know that, but I'm not gonna kill our baby."

"What would you have done if it was his baby?"

"Jamie, it really doesn't matter because it's not his."

"You would have had an abortion, wouldn't you?"

"I don't know."

"Eddie, just answer the question."

"Yeah, I guess I would've. But it really doesn't matter now because it's not his. It's yours. Ours. I'm having the baby, with or without you."

"I never said I didn't want the baby. It's just a lot to take in. What does this even mean for our marriage?"

"Right now, it doesn't mean anything. We still have about 8 months to figure it out. I'm not ready for you to move back in."

"When will you be ready? When you're 9 months pregnant and ready to pop? After the baby's born? Will we be raising the baby in two different houses for 18 years?"

"I don't know, Jamie."

"I mean, if we're gonna be raising the baby in two different households, we might as well get a divorce."

"Is this your way of telling me you want a divorce?"

"No, but I'm just saying that I don't want to be married and not live in the same house for 18 years. I'm not gonna do that to our kid, or myself."

"Jamie, I think you're thinking a little too far ahead."

"Well, one of us has to."

"This is a lot for me to take in."

"And you think it isn't for me? I still love you. I still want us to try and make it work. If not for ourselves, then at least for our child. It doesn't seem like you want that."

"I don't know what I want. I really don't."

"Well I guess when you figure that out, you can call me."

And with that, Jamie saw himself out.

What had just happened? That was so counterproductive. They were now in an even worse place than they had been at the time of the break up.

Eddie collapsed on the couch and finally let out 4 weeks worth of pent up emotions. What the hell was she gonna do?