Disclaimer: I do not own any person, place, or thing. Stephenie Meyer and JKR own all.

EPOV

Molly managed to take Emmett, Fred, and George and cart them off towards their punishment. I would not want to be in their shoes because that woman seems absolutely terrifying.

"We should all head to Madam Pomfrey to see if she can fix us." Hermione explains to us as I look across the room. We each start heading towards the infirmary.

"Oh dear! What happened?!" Madam Pomfrey asks.

"Emmett, Fred, George."

"Enough said." The sweet nurse stated as she shook her head at the boys' antics.

First she is able to separate Alice and Jasper by using a quick spell. She then moves on to baby Henry and gives him a potion to regrow his eyebrow. Rosalie's hair is fixed with a potion as well; however, it looks like it needs a good wash.

"Where are Carlisle and Esme?" Hermione asks.

I didn't even realize they were missing from our little group.

"I will go find them while you are being tended too." I give her a little kiss on the lips and try not to stare at her… um… enhancements.

I try to sniff Carlisle and Esme out but I can't find them because their scent is all over the castle. After 10 minutes I finally hear a scuffle come from the broom closet. I can faintly make out Carlisle's voice. I guess the boys must have rigged the closet to close them in as another one of their pranks. It takes a lot of strength but I break down the locked door. I managed to fall during the excursion so I sit up on my knees expecting to look up and see Carlisle and Esme's relieved faces. Instead, I come face-to- face… in a manner of speaking…. with Carlisle's ass.

"Ahhhhhhh!"

"Edward what are you doing in here!" I look at them and I realize Carlisle had kept on the outfit but it didn't cover anything since Esme's feet lifted it up from the back. Oh sweet heavens. Why me?

"I thought the boys pranked the door to trap you! I could faintly hear your voices outside!" I quickly explain while holding a hand over my eyes. I am trying my best not to gag at this predicament. I can hear them shuffling to get their clothes righted.

"Right, we will meet you in the infirmary." Carlisle states. As I am leaving I can hear his thoughts directed at me. Cockblock.

I rush to the infirmary.

"Madam Pomfrey! Is there a way to make me forget the last five minutes of my life?!"

"Well… yes. I could obliviate the memories for you but that would seem a bit extreme don't you think?"

"Do it." I tell her. Anything, I will do anything!

"Obliviate!"

"Why are all of you staring at me?" I ask because… well, they are staring at me.

"No reason." Hermione states but she is holding a slight smirk. I wonder what that is about…

"Show Madam Pomfrey your tattoo so she can remove it."

I look at the nurse reluctantly but turn around and lift up my shirt enough for her to see. She starts to giggle and it takes all I have not to storm out. Has she never heard of professionalism?! She does a series of intricate wand waves and I feel a cooling sensation on my back.

"There you go. You are as good as new." Oh thank heavens. I am just glad it came off.

Carlisle and Esme shuffled in looking worse for the wear. Wonder what happened to them?

HGPOV

"Hey Hermione." I turn around towards the voice calling my name. To my surprise it was Rosalie.

"Hey Rosalie. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you and Edward could keep little Henry while I run to the orphanage today?"

I look at the gurgling baby in question. He looks too angelic to be true. He has grown over the past week but Carlisle said that it is slowing down subtly.

"I would love to. I am not going to lie, I didn't think you would trust me with him."

"You and Esme are probably the only ones I would trust. Alice would treat him as a human doll and I shudder to think of what Jasper and Emmett would do left to their own devices." She has a good point.

"I can take him now if you want? I will go inform Edward that we have a tag-along for today."

She hands me the baby and he buries his head in my neck for cuddles. I swear I could feel my heart explode. He is such a sweetie. I walk my way towards Edward who smiles as he sees me approaching.

"Hey love." He gives me a slight peck. "Hey sweet baby Henry" he coos at the baby.

"We are watching him for Rosalie today. You didn't have any plans did you? I should have asked before I agreed."

"No plans so don't worry. I figured we would work in the library today."

"Sounds good. Let's head that way and we can take turns entertaining him. It shouldn't be too hard because he is looking a little sleepy."

We get to the library and I set up Henry's playpen. I put a couple of toys in with Henry and he seems content to just play. I get started on sorting through the books making sure they are in alphabetical order according to subject.

"You can start on that pile over there since it is close to Henry."

Edward gives me a small peck and goes towards the pile that I pointed towards. Around 20 minutes later we hear small whines coming from Henry.

"The little guy needs a diaper change. I will take him and get him cleaned up." Edward tells me.

"Okay." A give him a small smile. He is such a good uncle. He takes the baby and I settle back into my task.

It is about 10 minutes later and I notice Edward still hasn't come back yet. It doesn't take that long to change a baby. What is he doing?

I decide to go check on him to make sure everything is okay. I open the bathroom door but I don't see them. I continue to search the area and I finally find Edward frantically running up and down one of the halls.

"Edward, what are you doing? Where is Henry?" this can't be good.

"Umm… Well… you see… "

"Edward!" *eye twitch*

"I LOST HIM!"

"HOW CAN YOU LOSE A BABY?! ALL YOU WERE DOING WAS CHANGING HIM?" oh no… Rosalie is going to kill us. Or me, rather, because I am going to kill Edward.

EPOV

I take Henry and all the necessary things to change his diaper to the nearest bathroom. I lay down the baby changing mat and open the diaper. Good God at a vampires enhanced ability to smell. Henry looks up at me with a knowing smirk. Cheeky brat. I start cleaning him up and finally have him in a clean nappy.

"Okay Henry. Stay right here while I go wash my hands."

I walk over to the sink and scrub my hands vigorously. I take a few minutes to peer at my reflection above the sink. I am having an extremely good hair day. I stare at myself for a few more minutes and decide it is time to get back before Hermione freaks out. I turn around but I don't see little Henry.

"Henry?" I call out. I don't know why I do… it is not like he can answer.

I start checking under all of the stalls thinking maybe he is hiding in one. He is not there. I am starting to mildly panic until I notice the door is slightly cracked open. Opened just enough for a baby to crawl through. Oh shit! Madly panicking now! I start searching the surrounding areas. He couldn't have gone far. I was only at the sink for a few minutes. Plus he can't even walk yet! I am frantically searching the hallway surrounding the bathroom when I see Hermione in the distance. Oh shit!

"Edward, what are you doing? Where is Henry?" How do I tell her I lost my nephew?

"Umm… Well… you see… "

"Edward!" Did her eye just twitch?

"I LOST HIM!" way to break it easy, Idiot.

"HOW CAN YOU LOSE A BABY?! ALL YOU WERE DOING WAS CHANGING HIM?"

"I changed him and then I went to wash my hands. When I turned around he was gone!"

"Okay. Yelling is getting us nowhere. You continue to the hallway to the left and I will look to the right." She runs off in her direction and I continue down the hallway to the left. I enter each classroom and search frantically for the little guy. I enter a room of nothing but spare robes and I hear rusting coming from behind one of the stacks. Oh thank goodness!

"Henrahhhhhhhh" a large ginger cat pounces on my and frantically clawing at me anywhere it can. It is spitting mad and I must have woken it up from its slumber. I don't really have time for this so I grab the cat by its scruff. It has managed to shred my shirt to bits of cloth barely hanging on my body. I examine the cat and notice it is really ugly. It's face is smooshed almost as if it was hit with a shovel at birth or ran face first into a wall too many times.

"You are an ugly little beast." It gives me a hiss and I set it back down and run out of the room before it can attack again.

I venture into another room that contains nothing but vacuum cleaners. No Henry. I really hope Hermione is having more luck than I am.

CDPOV

I am going through the castle looking for the headmaster to yet again apologize for sabotaging his lemon drops. The stubborn man won't hear me out! I am searching the ground floor when I come across baby Henry.

"Hey little dude." I pick him up. "What are you doing here?"

I decide to take him with me to check for the headmaster. I check the old man's usual haunts but he is nowhere around. I decide to try Hagrid's hut.

"Want to go see Hagrid, little Henry?" He gurgles at me. He is such a cutie. We walk the stone path over to Hagrid's newly rebuilt hut. I knock on the door and Hagrid greets us with a wide smile.

"Hey Ced… err.. Ed… which one are'ya?"

"Cedric and I brought little Henry with me. You haven't happened to see the headmaster have you?"

"He still avoidin ya aint he? He was really put out without his candy. I haven't seen him though." Well dang, there goes that. Oh well, at least I have a baby to play with.

"Okay, thanks Hagrid. We'll get out of your way." Henry gives him a small little wave.

"Well Henry, what do you want to do?"

"Sqwuiiid" squid?

"You want to go see the giant squid?" he claps his hands so I take that as a yes. We spend about a 30 minutes feeding the squid before he starts drifting off. I should really find his parents so he can sleep peacefully in bed. I don't recall seeing them about the castle. Hmm… maybe Carlisle will know where they are at. I head towards the infirmary. As soon as I walk in I see Carlisle and Madam Pomfrey.

"Hey Carlisle. Have you seen Rosalie or Emmett? I found baby Henry here wondering the castle."

"Emmett is still recovering from what Mrs. Weasley did to him. Rosalie went to the orphanage today. I am not sure who she left in charge but when she founds out someone is a dead man. If you want you can lay him here since the beds have rails." I lay the little man down and see the headmaster rushing past one of the infirmary windows. You won't escape me now old man!

EPOV

We have been looking for 45 minutes to no avail!

"Okay, we need to cover more ground than what the two of us can do. Let's go recruit Carlisle and anyone else we see along the way." Hermione says.

"Great plan! You are bloody brilliant my love!" Maybe it will…

"Sucking up will not make me forgive you Edward!" Damn.

We get to the infirmary without passing anyone along the way. We walk in and see Carlisle.

"Hey dad. We need your help. Isortoflosthenry!"

"Can you repeat that last bit Edward?"

"I sort of lost Henry" I can feel Hermione's glare settle on me.

"Oh, well Cedric found him and brought him here. He is in that bed right over there." He is the infirmary bed. Was there something wrong with him? I rush over to check him over. I can feel Hermione right on my heels. We pull back the curtain and breathe a sigh of relief.

"Okay everyone. Rosalie is never to know." Thankfully everyone agrees. They know Rose would be on a warpath.

CPOV

The stinking headmaster has managed to evade me again. Maybe I will go for a quick fly. That always cheers me up. On my way to get my broom I see Rosalie.

"Hey Rosalie. I had fun with little Henry today. Let me know if you ever need a babysitter. It must be safer than having him roaming around the castle all by himself."

"What are you talking about Cedric? Why would he be by himself?"

"I found him all by himself in an abandoned hallway. I kept him with me though. We went to see Hagrid and fed the squid. I left him in the infirmary with Carlisle because there were beds in there. Little guy wore himself out. I am sure he had an exciting day. Well, I will let you go. I am going to go for a quick fly."

RPOV

THEY WILL DIE! This is why I don't trust people. Hermione was supposed to be responsible. My rational side is saying that he must have escaped under Edwards care. I will give Hermione the benefit of the doubt but make no mistake… Someone will pay.

EPOV

The infirmary door slams open and Rosalie slides in looking murderous. Oh shit. She knows.

"IT WAS EDWARDS FAULT! HE TOOK HIM TO THE BATHROOM TO CHANGE HIS DIAPER AND GOT CAUGHT UP LOOKING AT HIMSELF GIVING HENRY TIME TO ESCAPE!"

"Hermione!" how could she? Judas!

"I am not taking the fall for your mistake. I hope you live but if you don't I will send your ashes to Justin Beiber." She runs.

Rosalie is slowly approaching me and I look to Carlisle for help only to see him ducking behind a bed.

"Rosalie, it is not like it sounds." I am trying to back up but I am against the wall. "Please don't kill me."

"Do you know what could have happened to him Edward?! The staircases fucking move!"

"I know. I swear I took my eye off of him for only a minute and he was gone."

"You narcissistic asshole! If you weren't too busy admiring your appearance than you wouldn't have lost my baby!"

"I was having a great hair day!" oh… those were the wrong words. She is advancing now with scissors in her hand.

"I will make sure you will never have another one of those again!" she pounces! I can feel her overpower me as I see chunks of my hair start to fall.

"Not my hair! Noooooooooooooooo!" She finally gets off of me and I run to the mirror. My hair is cut to all different types of lengths and missing chunks! The only way to salvage it is to scalp it off!

"I turn to chastise Rosalie and I see her holding little Henry who is now awake and clapping at our antics. Rosalie swoops past me sending a hiss in my direction. I don't relax until she is all the way out the door.

"You know son, she let you off easy."

"I know. Now excuse me. I have a traitor to find." Hermione here I come!