Chapter 30

Kevin met Javi at the elevator, a brown paper bag held in the crook of his arm.

"Hey, Ryan," Javi said. "What have you got there?"

"Made some minestrone soup for Alexis," he said as they got in the elevator together. "It's her favorite. Or it used to be."

"You gonna bill the hospital for all the food you've provided for their patient?" Minestrone wasn't the first meal he'd brought the redhead in the days since she'd woken up, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last.

"Hospital couldn't afford it." Kevin smirked. "This is top-notch stuff."

"How are things in narcotics?"

Kevin shrugged. "I get to keep my job, if that's what you're asking."

"Really?" Kevin could hear the surprise in Javier's tone. "No punishment?"

Kevin was more than a little surprised himself. "Probation and three weeks unpaid leave."

"How'd that slap on the wrist feel?"

Kevin snorted, not unaware of the edge in Javier's tone. His former best friend hadn't forgiven him. Not yet. But Kevin found that he was okay with it. As far as he was concerned, he had plenty of penance still ahead of him. "I think it helped that we got Moreno. It happened in pretty much the messiest way possible, but we got him."

"You think they'll send you undercover again?"

Kevin shook his head. "Fenton O'Connell's out of mileage. I'll be handling other undercover assets when I get back. Not the worst change." The elevator doors slid open and they stepped onto Alexis' floor. "And I don't wanna leave again."

"It's about time you stopped running,"

Kevin didn't disagree. Javier knocker on the door, and they heard a muffled "come in."

The detectives stepped into the hospital room. Rick was seated at a small table next to the window, his laptop in front of him. When he saw them gracing the doorway of his daughter's room, he closed his laptop and looked between Kevin and Javier. "No Captain Beckett today?"

"You'll have to find another time to ogle my boss," Javier quipped.

Beckett had visited a handful of times since Alexis had ended up hospitalized, always bringing that quiet kindness, helping wherever she felt it was appropriate to do so. And it was during those visits that Alexis' boss had gotten to know her father. The two got along surprisingly well, despite how little they knew each other. More than once Kevin or Javier had been at Alexis' bedside, keeping an eye on her during one of her many naps, while Beckett treated Castle to coffee downstairs, or vice versa. When he'd asked about it, Kate had just said that it helped Rick to process his grief and understand his daughter just a little bit better. Her life at the precinct was a piece she'd always kept separate from her father.

"Hey, chica," Javier said as he moved toward Alexis, who was also seated at the small table. She'd been typing into her cell phone with a small frown on her face when they'd walked in. "How's my favorite invalid?" Though he was reticent to talk about it, Kevin was sure Javi felt guilty for Alexis' state, and as a result he visited almost as often as Kevin did.

Alexis hugged him back, her good arm wrapping around his back. "Long time," she smiled. "I was w-wondering when you'd show your face around here."

That remark sent a thread of tension through the room.

"Honey," Rick said, "Detective Esposito was here yesterday. Remember? He brought you some fresh flowers to brighten up the room." Rick gestured to the vase of lilies in the corner, next to her bed.

Heat spread across her cheeks, and her shoulders curled forward just a little bit as she glanced at the lilies. "That's right," she said with a smile that better resembled a grimace. "Sorry, Javi." It didn't take a detective to read between those lines. She didn't remember.

"Don't worry about it," Javier said.

It was then that her gaze landed on Kevin, then briefly dropped to the brown paper bag in his hands. He watched that familiar crease appear between her eyes. Confusion. She always had that look around him now, like he was a particularly challenging case she just couldn't figure out. He wished he could speak to her alone and find out exactly what was so difficult for her to understand. Of course, with Rick or Martha or Javi always around, Kevin didn't see that happening anytime soon.

"Minestrone," he offered as he held up the bag with a small smile.

"I love minestrone," she said, then her eyes widened a bit, her expression brightening as she realized she'd successfully remembered something about herself. "You remembered that?"

"I did." He set it on the counter next to the sink for later. An empty tupperware was set next to the sink, the container from yesterday's enchiladas.

Again, her expression tightened. "That's . . . very nice. Thank you." He wished he could tell if the falter in her speech was due to her injury or if she genuinely struggled to understand him doing something nice for her.

"You're welcome. How'd you like your meal yesterday?"

"It was . . . very . . . um... " she paused. "Delight?" She looked at her dad.

"Delicious," he offered.

"Delicious," she amended, turning her reddening face back to Kevin. "I like the chicken enchiladas the best."

"I'm glad. How'd they measure up to the chocolate chip cookies?" he asked, referring to a snack he'd brought in a few days earlier. This was a game they'd played every day since he'd started bringing her care packages. He brought her favorites, home-cooked meals and snacks he knew she liked to eat, and then the next day he quizzed her on them. Unlike the gifts she'd received from others and the conversations she'd had with other people in the days since she'd woken up, Alexis never seemed to forget the care packages he brought.

Her lips twitched. "No comparison. It's like apples and… o-oranges." Her lips pulled back into a full-blown smile when she turned to her father, who was watching their exchange with interest. "Dad ate most of them, though."

"Chocolate's my weakness," Rick confessed.

"One of many," Alexis said. If her father disliked being teased about his shortcomings, he didn't show it.

"Good thing I've got my brilliant detective daughter to bail me out, huh?"

Alexis' smile faltered just a bit, and she turned to Javier. "How are things at the precinct?"

Kevin sat nearby, feeling like a third wheel as Javier and Alexis chatted about work. Rick typed away on his laptop, working on a new project for the first time in years. Kevin tried not to focus on the fact that Javier was telling Alexis a story for the third time in five days, and she was taking it in with as much as interest as if she'd never heard it before.

He'd spoken with the doctor outside her room the day she'd finally woken up, and Dr. Campbell had mentioned this possibility. Had told him how Alexis didn't remember anything about being assaulted and was even missing several days leading up to her abduction. How she struggled to find words, struggled to remember things associated with past memories. How, difficulties aside, she could read and write and speak and listen, and that was the best sign they could hope for.

But still, she was recovering. The bandages had been removed from her eye, and true to Dr. Campbell's promise, Alexis could see. Her face was still bruised, but she was able to move around her hospital room now for short periods of time. The cast on her arm would be on for another month, but she spent more and more time awake. She was taking less pain medication. She was reading and writing faster and seemed to have almost no problem understanding things people said to her.

She'd have a long recovery ahead with the damage to her liver, not to say anything of her mental recovery, but she was bouncing back. So Kevin held onto that hope and found himself marveling every time he saw her smile. The fact that she could still smile, even if it wasn't at him, was amazing. She was amazing.

"You expecting a call?" he heard Javi ask.

Alexis blushed and slid her phone back into the pocket of the thin robe the hospital had given her. She'd been checking it on and off during their visit. "Sorry."

"No problem. I gotta get going anyway. Hot date tonight," Javier smirked.

"Tell Lanie I said hi."

Javier hugged her briefly before stepping back. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Bye, Javi."

He patted Kevin's shoulder on the way out of the hospital room, and Kevin nodded to him in farewell. Alexis and Kevin were left alone, save for Rick typing away in the corner. Alexis glanced down at her phone again, and a crease appeared between her eyes as she slid it back into her pocket.

Who would she be texting? From what he'd gleaned about her personal relationships, pretty much everyone in her life visited her in the hospital every day. Maybe she was talking with her grandmother. Martha was doing a quick, week-long tour for her most recent show.

Kevin cleared his throat. "I'm, um, running out of ideas on food to bring you. Any suggestions?"

She didn't respond at first, and he wasn't sure if he should nudge her or if she was just considering her answer. It seemed like Javi had taken all the warmth—in the room and in Alexis' personality—with him when he'd left.

"I'm not sure," she finally said.

"Well, there was that tiramisu," he suggested, remembering the dessert he'd made after their six-month anniversary. "You liked that."

"No tiramisu. I don't see what there is to celebrate."

He blinked. So she remembered that meal. He wondered if she remembered what happened after their meal, how halfway into dessert they'd found a new use for the chocolate mascarpone filling and hadn't even made it out of the dining room before he was inside her. The melody of her moans echoed in his mind. He cleared his throat, shaking away the bittersweet memories. "I think there's plenty to celebrate. You're alive. You're healing. You're being released soon, right?"

She nodded. "Just a few days."

"If that's not tiramisu-worthy, then I don't know what is," he said gently, trying to prompt a smile from her. "If you like, I can bring it over when you're released. I'll make enough for you Dad and Martha and Javi and Beckett. It can be a proper celebration."

Instead, that crease on her forehead deepened, and she blew out a breath. "Dad," she said to Rick, "can you go get me a cup of c-coffee from d-downstairs?"

"Sure thing, pumpkin." Rick flashed Kevin a sympathetic look on his way out.

Kevin's heart sank. Shit. He'd come on too strong. Crossed some invisible boundary he hadn't known about.

"Kevin—"

"I overstepped. I'm sorry," he said quickly. "If you don't want tiramisu, then I won't make it."

She toyed with the belt on her hospital-issue robe. "I'm going to stay with my dad for a while. So he and Grams can keep an eye on me. Make sure I don't relapse. Make sure I take my meds. That kind of thing. I'm subletting my apartment. I probably won't go back for a while."

"That makes sense." His heart raced. Where was she going with this? "I bet it'll be nice to get out of this hospital room."

"And while I'm staying at my dad's, I've been ordered to go to therapy. Physical and mental. And once my therapists have signed off, I'll go back to the precinct part-time. Javi and Beckett are going to be working with me personally to make sure I'm up to snuff. I think," she paused, "I think I'll probably be on probation once I'm well enough to actually do my job. I-I don't know when I'll go back to active status."

"You've got a plan and a support system. That's great."

"I've got a lot of mother hens. Everyone is lining up to help me." She finally forced herself to look at him, his blue eyes clashing with her own. "I don't need another caretaker, Kevin. I'm sure . . . I'm sure you have a life to get back to."

His fingers curled tight into the palm of his hand. "Helping you isn't stopping me from living my life. You don't need to worry about that."

"And you don't need to worry about me, either. I'll be fine."

He shook his head. "What if I want to worry about you? What if I like being around you?"

She grimaced, and he couldn't help but flinch at the expression. "What do you want from me, Kevin?"

"I want to help you."

"Why?" Frustration and exhaustion bled into the lone syllable. "You don't owe me anything. Before this, you couldn't stand me. You couldn't wait to push me out of your life. What's changed?"

"How can you even ask that?" He sat forward in his seat, weeks of pent up frustration bleeding out of him. He would regret that morning in Fenton's apartment, when she'd come to him for help and he'd sent her away, for the rest of his life. "Yes, we've had some pretty ugly fights. And yes, I've lied to you. And you tried to use me, and you've told lies of your own. But after the last few months—after everything we've been through together. Working this case, doing scenes together, how can you believe that I wouldn't want to help you? That I wouldn't care about you? I think our history has shown that it's impossible for me to not want to protect you, to not—" he stopped, his voice going soft. "To not love you."

Alexis' eyes were wide as saucers. "What are you talking about?"

Kevin sat back, his eyes scanning over her confused expression. Had she—

"Knock, knock," a soft masculine voice said. They both turned to see a dark-haired young man standing in the doorway, holding a bouquet of yellow roses. His face sparked recognition but Kevin couldn't quite place him.

Alexis gasped. "Ashley?"

Kevin's stomach turned over as the young man stepped forward, offering the bouquet. Ashley Linden. The only other man Alexis had ever been in a serious relationship with. The man she'd almost married.

"You are a sight for sore eyes," Ashley said.

Alexis's shocked expression shifted, and the corners of her mouth turned up the slightest bit as she accepted the bouquet—the first smile he'd seen since Javier had left earlier.

Alexis didn't spare a single glance at Kevin. Her focus was entirely on her ex-boyfriend. "It's good to see you, Ashley."

Author's Note: Aaaaaaand we're back!