(A/N: hey, guys. So, a little info behind this piece: basically, I had a rough couple of days recently, due to a couple of jerks making me feel like I couldn't have my own opinion, and that I was an idiot for feeling that way. It wasn't so bad on its own, but it brought up some bad memories, which made me fall into a slump, and I didn't really know what to do.
Then this story came to mind. The one reason why I love writing stories, above all else, is that stuff like that in my mind just goes away, and it helps me to deal with any doubts or insecurities, especially when you guys show the love and support you have. Just knowing you guys like reading my stories makes me feel wonderful, and without it, I'd likely have called it quits some time ago, so thank you all for making this worthwhile.
Thank you all for reading, and enjoy.)
It was yet another day in Royal Woods- to be more specific, it was yet another Saturday, and for the Louds, they were each spending it at home, not doing their usual trip to the mall due to it being shut after a recent power malfunction, and while his sisters weren't happy about it, Lincoln was more than happy to spend the day at home. As he hummed to himself while preparing some peanut butter, jelly and sauerkraut sandwiches, he turned to the viewer. "Hey, everyone!" He greeted the viewers. "Well, it's Saturday, and for once, I'm not carrying around all of my sisters' bags at the mall! Which means I get to take it easy today, since I don't have any homework, and I plan to make the most of it."
He picked up his plate and began to head towards the living room, but upon entering the dining room, he saw his younger sister Lucy sat at the dining room table, staring at her now empty plate. 'That's… unusual for her,' he thought, failing to recall any moment where he had seen her do something like that. He put his plate down opposite hers, the small clang it made snapping her out of her sudden interest in the dinnerware and getting her to look up. "You okay there, Spooky?"
She took a second before answering, only giving a small nod and a quiet, "yeah, I'm okay."
"You sure? I mean, you-" He didn't get the chance to finish, the goth taking her plate and putting it in the kitchen sink before walking off, presumably towards her room. After blinking, Lincoln said "alright, then" to himself, before grabbing his plate and heading into the living room, which he was thankful to see was empty. Placing down the plate on the coffee table, he walked up to the tv, kneeled down and turned on his games console, before returning to the couch with the controller and turning on the tv with a grin. "Alright, Card Shark," he said to himself, taking a bite from his first sandwich, "time to get Savvy."
Starting up the game, Lincoln began what would become an hour-long session of gaming with the platformer game. The game had a save feature, and it was one Lincoln had completed before, but he had set himself a new challenge: that being to complete the game in one sitting without being defeated once. While this sounded like a daunting task on paper, Lincoln had an almost robotic memory of the game, its layout and its enemies' attack patterns, meaning that the first few levels practically faded away within minutes a piece. The early enemies and boss battles proved no threat to the white-haired child, who even beat one boss while holding the controller in one hand and using the other hand to eat his sandwich. There was eventually one level which Lincoln had some difficulty with, since it was notorious for being one of the toughest platforming levels in the franchise's history, but he got through it before the level timer ran out.
Then came the final boss, the fish-based villain King Shark. It was a villain that Lincoln had beaten before, but never in one go, so it was going to be a test of Lincoln's gaming abilities. The battle started off simply enough, with Lincoln managing to avoid the boss' basic initial move set, but as things went on, the AI began using a more complex and less predictable range of attacks, which Lincoln didn't escape unscathed, but he managed to avoid being beaten too easily. Both health bars, the one for Ace Savvy and the one for Card Shark, we're going down, with neither of them having healing abilities, so once they both began blinking red, Lincoln's eyes narrowed. He dodged the oncoming toxic waste barrel, jumped onto the near by platforms, and after waiting for the right moment, he jumped over an oncoming pipe and onto the boss' head, draining the last of its HP.
"Yes!" Lincoln cheered, jumping to his feet as the shark baddie crumpled to the ground in defeat, stars spinning around its head. In his moment of celebration, however, he heard someone give a small yelp, turning to see Lori holding her hand on her chest. "Oops… sorry, Lori."
She took a few moments to calm down from the sudden scare, before giving him a disapproving look. "Did you have to do that?" She chided, to which he simply smirked.
"If you were into video games, you would know that it was."
She rolled her eyes. "Well, next time you give me a heart attack, I will literally turn you into a human pretzel." She was going to head out the door, but she hit something with her foot, making her look down to see what it was. "Hey, twerp, did you drop a book?"
"Huh?" Looking down, he saw a slightly tattered black notebook. Picking it up, he instantly recognised it. "Wait, this is Lucy's poetry book. What's it doing here?"
"Maybe she just forgot it."
"No, that's impossible. She never leaves this just lying around." He then thought back to what he saw earlier. "Have you noticed her acting… off today?"
She raised an eyebrow as she asked, "off, how?"
"Well, when I saw her last, she seemed… I dunno, kind of distracted?"
The blonde shook. "Nope. Haven't really seen her today, to be honest."
"Not at all? Weird."
"Well, you can always just go talk to her, you know?"
He nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I'll go see if she's in her room." Not waiting for a response from the teen, the sole boy made his way upstairs, stopping by the middle door and knocking on it. "Lucy? It's me. Can I come in?" He waited for a response, but when he didn't get one, he decided to knock again. "Lucy? You in there?" Once again, no response. Deciding it was better to be sure, he pushed the door open, and one quick glance inside told him the room was empty. That on its own would've been enough for him to walk away and search elsewhere, but something caught his eye. "What's that?" Walking into the room, he stopped in the middle and bent down to pick up a crumpled ball of paper. While it didn't look like anything special, his curiosity forced him to open it up, and when he did, he saw that there was a poem written on it. Now more curious, since he knew Lucy rarely trashed poems, he decided to read it.
I walk in darkness, ever lost
My heart not knowing what is right
Journeying without knowing the cost
Unsure if I'll ever see the light
Somber heartbeats come from my chest
Too quiet to be heard in the dark
Never quite sure which road is best
Or if I'll ever make a mark
Told what I'm seeing is not what's real
Only that I am blind while others see clear
Knowing that everything that I feel
And see is not right, it fills me with fear
You read down the lines. What do they say?
He noticed that the poem wasn't finished, the small bit of ink on the line below the last one indicating that there was at least one more line to the poem. 'Why wouldn't she finish it?' He pondered. 'She was so close to… finishing…' The last line of the poem kept catching his attention, and realising what it meant, his eyes widened, only more so when he read down the lines of the poem and saw what the first letters of each line spelt out:
IM JUST NOT OKAY
Fear began to run through the boy's mind, his hand moving automatically to put the poem in his pocket while his legs immediately began to run. He first went into his own room, moving his desk chair to get up and look into the vents, but he saw that they were empty. He hopped down from the chair and sprinted back into the hallway. He saw that the bathroom door was open, and the bathroom was empty, so he leapt up and pulled the cable that hung from the ceiling, pulling down the stairs to the attic which he quickly began to ascend. Once inside, he began checking around, but once again found no sign of the gothic girl.
'Where are you Lucy?' He worriedly thought, the idea of his younger sister not being okay making his mind go frantic at what could happen, even if he didn't want to imagine what could happen. Desperation kicking in, he practically leapt out of the attic and ran down the stairs, his eyes quickly looking in the living room, then the dining room, kitchen and even the basement, only heading outside when he didn't see the young goth. There was no sign of her in either yard, but he did see her roommate. "Lynn!" He yelled, marching over to her. "Where's Lucy?"
"I dunno. Hey, you wanna spar? I could use a practice-"
He cut her off, grabbing her by the collar and pulling her closer. "WHERE IS SHE?!"
"I said I don't know! Geez, ever think she might have headed somewhere else?"
Once again, his eyes widened as realisation hit him. 'The cemetery.'
After a couple of seconds, he practically threw Lynn to one side, leaving the jock to watch in confusion as her dorky brother ran off. "What's his deal?"
The boy ran. He ran faster than he had ever known he was capable of. He ran from his house on one side of town, to the graveyard on the other. He ran across streets with reckless abandon, along sidewalks without paying mind to other passers by, across the park without caring if the groundskeeper yelled at him for running across the grass. Even as his legs began to feel like jelly, his breathing became heavy and his face began pouring sweat, he ran. He eventually reached the cemetery, sprinting through the red brick gateway and along the grey path set out, looking every which way in search of his sister. It took him a minute of searching, but he eventually saw a dead tree, its branches no longer bearing leaves and its wood now dry and dark. Sat against it was the girl he was searching for, her arms wrapped around her knees as she held them against her chest, her chin resting on top of them. He wanted to run over to her, but his adrenaline rush had worn off, so he could only walk over to her, almost hobbling. As he stood in front of her, she looked up at him and saw him looking down at her.
"Lincoln?" She said, surprised by his sudden appearance. "What are you-" When she saw him drop to his knees, she was about to ask him if he was okay, but she didn't get the chance before he pulled her in close with a tight hug, his hand resting against the back of her head. She couldn't see because of how he held her, but his eyes were squeezed tightly shut, as of trying to hold back tears, and though there was part of her that enjoyed the embrace, it was dwarfed by the part of her that didn't understand what was happening. "Lincoln?"
"I'm so glad I found you," he managed to choke out, his body now shaking slightly. "I was so… worried."
Lucy's eyes softened, more out of curiosity than anything else. "Why? Why were you worried?"
He finally released the hug, but kept his hands on her shoulders as he backed up, allowing her to look him in his teary eyes. "Lucy… I want you to be completely honest with me. As your brother, as someone who cares about you deeply, I have to ask… are you okay?"
Lucy restrained a gasp, though her face showed a sudden shock which she quickly tried to play off. "M-me? Yes, I-I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"
His frown deepened. "Lucy… I know you're not okay. You don't have to lie to me."
"Wh-what makes you say that?"
"Because you said so yourself."
She let out a small gasp, but tried to play it off by saying, "I don't know what you're talking about." He didn't verbally respond to her statement, instead reaching into his pocket and pulling out the poem. Once he opened it up and showed it to her, her face blanched. "Where… where did you…"
"Lucy." His voice wasn't stern, or cold, but it was serious. The look he gave her was a mix of concern with one that told her he wasn't playing around. "Please. Talk to me. It's my job as the older brother to know you're alright."
"But you can't." He heard a slight croak in her voice, and though hearing her like this made him sad in his heart, he knew he couldn't interrupt her here. "You can't know how I'm feeling all the time. That's not how things work."
He nodded, sniffling to hold back any tears. "I know… but I can be there for you if you aren't." He lowered his hands so they were on the sides of her upper arms instead of her shoulders. "Please, Lucy. Talk to me."
She opened her mouth to try and speak, trying to think of anything to say, but all that managed to come was tears, and the typically stoic young goth began to cry, an action that Lincoln didn't let go uncomforted. He immediately pulled her into a hug, allowing her to grab at his shirt as she returned the hug and bury her face into his chest. He didn't care about the tears soaking his shirt, he only cared that they were coming at all. He didn't care that he was shaking, but he cared that she was. In this moment, his one and only concern was Lucy, and being there for her.
"I k-keep getting… t-told by people that… th-that I'm n-not n-normal," she finally opened up, shaking her head slightly against his chest. "Th-That I sh-shouldn't like the th-things I like, th-that they m-make me a f-f-freak. I… I've t-tried to ignore it, tried t-t-to tell myself that th-they're wrong… but I can't. I c-can't shake it, th-that voice in m-my head, t-telling me th-that they're right."
"But they aren't right." Though she was still bawling, Lucy was able to move her head back enough so she could look him in the eyes as best she could, both of them doing their best to see through the tears that they shed. "Lucy, you are not- and never will be- a freak. We're all different in our own way, so no, the stuff you like might not be what people consider 'normal'. Who cares? If you like that stuff, then don't let them convince you otherwise. Because that's how they win- by getting you to think what they're saying is right."
"But… h-how do you do that?"
He sighed, looking down. "I wish I could tell you, Lucy, but it's not that simple. Sometimes it's hard… much harder than I wish it was." The way he said that told her instantly that he knew from experience, which brought up some memories of when her sisters had been like that towards their brother, and she frowned when her brain reminded her that she was no exception to them in those instances. Before she could dwell on this, however, she saw her brother look up again. "The only thing I can tell you is the thing I tell myself when I feel like they're getting to me: "they aren't me. I'm not them. What they like isn't what I like, and that's okay." It might sound cheesy, but it helps me, so if you tell yourself that, maybe it could help you too."
She took a second to consider what her brother was telling her, finding herself saying those words in her mind and being surprised at how comforting they were. It made a smile come naturally to her face, her hand rising to wipe away the tears that were slowly stopping their cascade down her face. "Thanks, Lincoln."
He smiled back, pulling her forward again into another hug, his head resting on top of hers. "Any time, Lucy. If you ever need someone to talk to, please talk to me. I'm here for you if you need me."
"I appreciate it… hey, Lincoln? Could I… show you something?"
The boy raised an eyebrow. "What is it, Lucy?"
"Well, it's… kind of a secret part of the cemetery. No one ever goes there apart from me, not even the rest of the Young Mortician's Club knows about it. You're actually the first person I'm going to show it to. That is, if you want to."
He gave a small nod. "Sure thing, Lucy." He got to his feet and helped Lucy up, before the girl took his hand in hers and began to lead them away. "This isn't a crypt, is it?"
She shook her head. "No, and it's not actually a room or anything like that. You'll see when we get there." He decided it was best to trust her, so he let her lead him towards the North side of the cemetery, past a plot of gravestones and up to a bushy area. "Through here."
He was confused as to why she had brought him here, but when she let go of his hand and began to pass through the nearest bush, he followed after her, not wanting to leave her alone right now. Making his way through the foliage, he pressed on in spite of the leaves and branches brushing against him, leaving occasional small scratches on his skin. It didn't take him long to get through, and once he had, he saw why Lucy had brought him here. He had entered a clearing surrounded by bushes and trees, and in the dead centre of the clearing, right in front of where his sister was stood, was a statue. It was a gothic statue, made of some kind of dark grey stone, and depicted an angel with skeletal wings, looking to the sky with its arms spread wide. Moving to stand next to his sister, he saw the inscription on the plinth, which read:
Fear not death, and the sadness it brings
For when you hear the angel's wings
'Tis not the end of everything
But the start of something new
"This is the reason I'm as interested in the things I am," Lucy told her brother, not looking away from the statue. "Seeing what happens when we cross over to the other side… it's both a daunting and a fascinating idea. Where we'll go, what we'll do, what we'll become. That's why, three years ago, I became who I am."
Lincoln nodded, remembering the day that she was referring to: their mother had taken them and some of their other sisters to visit her mother's grave, and when she explained to them about death, Lucy managed to slip away unnoticed. They eventually realised what had happened and began to look for her, only for Lucy to pop up out of nowhere, and while they were upset she had run off, they were glad she was okay.
"I get it," Lincoln told her, kneeling down to her height. "We don't know the answers to life and what comes after, so for you, it's interesting. I think it is for most people to some level. You're just more interested than most." He turned to her and then asked, "but can you promise me one thing?" Turning to him, she tilted her head out of curiosity. "Don't be too eager to find the answers. There's only one way to achieve that… and I don't want to lose you before your time."
She sensed the sincerity and fear in his voice as he said that, and it made her smile- not knowing that he was afraid, but knowing that he cared- so she smiled and embraced her brother once more. "Okay."
THE END
