By Surprise

by WolFang1011

Erza tells Gray to be more upfront about his feelings, but what happens when he follows up on her advice then and there? Because what is the balcony scene without The Balcony Scene?

Erza leaned forward on her elbows, into the wind. She liked the way the cool night's air caressed her hair. After a long, stormy day, it was something she was grateful for.

Living the life she did, Erza'd had to learn to appreciate the small things. Even when she was weighed down by a thousand different burdens, the simple things in life could make the situation so much more bearable. A gust of wind, a nightly stroll, counting the thousands of shimmering, lit windows of a city from a vantage point – all of these things helped.

"Be it love or hate... perhaps what I speak of is too heavy a burden to bear..." she whispered the words, hoping against hope that the wind would scatter them. Too much had happened in the past few days and all she wanted was, for once, to cast off all her burdens. Have someone else carry them. If even for a single night.

"Did something happen?"

Inwardly, she smiled at the question. While it was true that the little things in life helped, nothing gave her more comfort than the company of a beloved friend. And Gray, who she knew was staring at her concernedly, waiting for an answer, was the oldest friend she had.

They had started off on the wrong foot. Disastrous. It had taken a lot of time for them to build up trust in each other and bond, but he was the very first person in her life who had accepted her unconditionally. No strings. No expectations.

And in having no expectations of her, Gray had set her free.

Erza wondered briefly whether it would be unfair to tell him what had happened with Jellal on the beach. She had been giving advice about his love life, after all. Telling him that he ought to be more direct and let his feelings known. She ought to follow that example. Practice what she preached. But here she was, acting like a hypocrite and denying him the chance to help her, too.

The burden really was too heavy. No matter how much she wanted to hang up the weights, she couldn't. They were her weights, after all. Nobody else deserved to be roped into her failures.

"No," she replied and sighed, mind made up. Straightened and turned to walk away. "It's already late. Let's go back."

Yes, this was for the best. That he cared was solace enough. She knew full well that if she were to open up her heart, Gray would share in her pain more willingly than all the others. It was just the kind of person he was – always breaking himself for her. She knew. She'd noticed. It was impossible not to. And for that reason, she would never – could never – use his kind nature for her own gain. It would be taking advantage of something she had no right over.

As she walked away, though, a heaviness gripped her heart. Something cold and strong, pulling her back. Every fibre of her being screamed at her not to do this, to talk to him a little more. What was there to go back to, anyway? An empty room. Unwanted memories. Tears.

Desperately, she wanted him to stop her. She knew he wouldn't – he was too much of a gentleman – but she hoped regardless. Hoped for something. The silent walk back to her room would be more than she could handle.

"Soft!" Gray spoke suddenly, shattering the night's quietude. Indeed, Erza jumped, and had to contain herself lest she yelp. "What light through yonder window breaks?"

Erza whirled around, mouth agape. She had wanted him to say something, but what-

"It is the east," Gray continued, half turning to smile at her. "And you are the sun!"

Eyes wide, Erza almost swallowed her tongue. "Gray, wha-"

However, Gray ignored her completely. He raised his left hand, the side facing her, to shoulder level while saying, "Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious... uh, moon." He looked back and pointed at the actual moon. "Who is already sick and pale with grief." Then he faced her fully, holding his fists close to his chest, his face bowed. "That thou, her maid, are far more fair than she."

By then, Erza had clued into what he was doing. A performance. To lift her spirits. He knew very well that she loved acting – though, admittedly, her talents were somewhat lacking in that department. Gray, though he could act, wasn't really an exhibitionist – a real one, anyhow – and that he would even attempt this farce to make her smile was touching.

But then something happened that she wasn't expecting. At all. Gray slowly lifted his head and, when his eyes met hers, sighed deeply. His hands fell limp by his sides and when he spoke next, his voice seemed low. Defeated. Tired. Erza subconsciously stepped closer to listen better.

"It is my lady," said he, forlorn. "Oh, it is my love. Oh, that she knew she were. The brightness of her cheeks would shame the stars as daylight doth a lamp."

It was exceptionally cheesy even by Erza's standards, and she was the one with a stash of bad romance novels under her bed. Despite that, she couldn't shake the sudden breathlessness that had taken a hold of her.

The earnestness with which he delivered the lines... it was moving. The way he looked at her, as if she were the only thing of any importance in his world, intoxicated her. Light-headed, her breath but a tremulous gasp, Erza felt her knees go slightly weak.

"See how she threads her fingers through her locks." Gray lifted a hand to indicate how the breeze was ruffling her hair, and Erza stopped her efforts to tame it immediately. "Were I but a glove on that hand, that I might touch her hair..."

He trailed off, and, when she saw his outstretched hand fall back down, a bubble of emotion burst in her chest, flooding her with an inexplicable grief she could scarcely control.

The one man she had loved and desired and devoted herself to had decided to hide behind a lie. A bad one at that. Gray, though performing, had put such conviction into it that it almost felt like a real confession. The way he spoke, the way he looked at her, the longing and sorrow in his voice... everything combined made her wishshe were the woman on the receiving end of a love like that.

Why can't Jellal do something like this?

It seemed unfair. It was unfair. Why couldn't she have that? What had she done wrong? What about her attracted psychopaths and perverts and cowards?

The utter absurdity of the situation made her laugh. What else could she do? It was better than crying. She really didn't want to cry in front of Gray. Not after he had done all that for her sake.

And what he had done deserved recognition. Erza clapped as she laughed, and walked up to him. She felt a bit more relaxed now. The sudden bout of laughing had released most of the tension she'd held captive in her body.

"I don't know what to call you to praise you for this performance, but what's in a name?" She grinned. "An idiot by any other name is still an idiot."

Gray stared at her a long moment. His eyes held hers and Erza thought he was searching for something. Something she wasn't sure he got an answer for. Then, whether he found it or not, Gray barked out a laugh and pocketed his hands. "Enjoy that, huh?"

"Very much so. I needed that." She clasped her hands and lowered them. "Thank you, Gray. That was an exceptional performance."

"Thanks." Gray looked amused. He was still smiling to himself. "There's just one little problem."

Erza blinked. "Problem? What problem?"

"I was being serious."

Her brain refused to compute that statement, so Erza blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"You asked me to be upfront about my feelings," he answered, shuffling his feet. "I dunno how to be more upfront than that."

"Wait." Erza gulped, hoping that it would help her swallow her thundering heart. "You mean... you meant... all that was..." She pointed at herself, not even registering her shaking fingers.

"Yeah." Gray nodded. "That was... dramatic, I know, but now you know why I don't think too much of Juvia."

She heard the sounds he was making, which was a miracle in itself because her thumping heartbeat almost deafened her to her own thoughts. Erza had to remind herself to breathe. To concentrate on deciphering his words. Find out what all this meant.

"But-but-this is so sudden, I mean, I never knew you liked me or anything, well, of course you liked me but not in that way is what I mean." Stop babbling. "But wow. This is... this is... wow. I can't even think." Erza cradled her head. "I need to... sit down."

So saying, she began to sit down. And she would have. Right there on the paved stone. Her brain was fried and her legs were jelly and she needed to process all this. Frazzled from all the nervous strain, she started the process of sitting down – her knees were only too happy to collapse – and she came down heavily. But not on the floor. Even in her state of distress, Erza felt the familiar shape of a chair under her, which was very strange because chairs did not have a habit of casually conjuring themselves under nervous wrecks.

However, she knew immediately what it was as soon as she sat down. The cold gave it away.

"You made this?" she asked Gray, who had taken a few cautious steps forward.

"I am a conjurer of cheap tricks," he replied. "But seriously. Are you okay? D'you need water?"

"No, no, that won't be necessary." Erza kept her gaze fixed on his chest. She couldn't bring herself to look anywhere else. "I will be fine. I just need to... think. I think."

"Well, sure, but if you need something, lemme know. I don't wanna give you a heart attack with my feelings or anything."

Erza laughed. It sounded more like a croak but, given the circumstances, she would take it. She took a deep breath and tucked a few stray strands of hair behind her ear.

Okay. Focus. What data do you have to work with?

Gray had no reason to lie. He had nothing to gain by it, and she respected him too much to consider this some sort of elaborate joke. And if what he was saying was true...

Cheeks burning, she tilted her face up and stole a glance at him. It was a risk, but a calculated one, and it paid off. He wasn't looking at her, which further emboldened her to look at him a little more.

He was hovering, somewhat awkwardly, a few feet away. Scratching his cheek. Shuffling his feet. After all the confident posturing, he was feeling awkward now. Probably just as much as her.

Oh good. I'm not alone.

The realisation made her relax. Erza rolled her shoulders and smiled up at him. "Gray?"

"Hmm?" he turned towards her immediately, all attention. "Need something?"

"I do. I need information." She hesitated for just a second. "When? How? Why?"

"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay." Gray knelt down before her. "Erza, it's okay. You don't – uhh, can I hold your hand? I dunno what else to do with mine."

Erza snorted. Every time she laughed, she felt a her nervousness melt away a little bit. This was Gray, after all. Her oldest friend. Not some random person on the street proclaiming their undying devotion. She wanted to know what had led him to this moment. What had he seen in her? What even had happened? For that, she had to put Gray at ease.

She held out her hands and Gray took them gratefully. His skin felt cool to the touch, making the fine hairs along her forearm stand up on end. Her breath hitched as he spoke.

"Look, Erza, you don't hafta do any of this," Gray said, squeezing her hands gently. "I didn't tell you this to make you uncomfortable, or get you to give me an answer, or any of that." He kept his head bowed. It bothered her slightly that he seemed to be focusing on the ground while addressing her. "I just thought that... if I hadta start being honest and stuff, you deserved to know first. I haven't told anyone else. Nobody knows. And I hope this doesn't make things awkward for us going forward because I don't wanna phase outta the group. I mean, I will if I have to, but-"

He was word vomiting. Panicking. She had to stop this, otherwise he'd derail himself. Erza squeezed his wrist. "Gray?"

"Yes?"

"Look at me."

She saw his shoulders sag. That in itself sent her mind racing but when he looked up, and she saw the resignation painted across his face, she knew for certain.

He's expecting to get rejected. He knew from the start.

That realisation broke her heart a little bit. What gave him the strength to confront his feelings so selflessly? What code of honour made him want to fight a battle he knew was already lost? Was he really expecting nothing for everything he had said and done?

"Why did you tell me now?" she asked quietly. "Why not before?"

"There was no point," he answered. "I always knew the outcome, and I didn't wanna make you feel bad or awkward."

"What did you think the outcome would be?"

"C'mon, Erza." He laughed a mirthless laugh. "Anybody with any sense at all knows you have eyes only for Jellal. Nobody stands a chance."

Erza bit her lip. Was that really what everyone thought? What Gray thought? Did she really project an image of being so in love with Jellal that Gray couldn't even approach her? Or consider her romantically?

"How did all this... begin?" she asked next, reserving her frustration for later.

Gray sighed. "Erza, let's not-"

"I want to hear it." She squeezed his hand again in what she hoped was an encouraging and reassuring manner. "I need to know."

"All right," Gray said after some consideration. "All right. The answer is I don't know."

"You don't... know?"

"I don't. I really don't. I can't point to a certain incident and say that was where it began. No." He shook his head. "It happened over time. It started when we were kids, after we'd become friends. I liked talking to you, spending time with you. Getting into trouble with you." A small smile appeared on his face. "It's a lotta little moments like that, chained together. I experienced your courage, your nobility, your patience and your faith. Your affection, your praise." Erza smiled, too. It was so innocent, the things he was listing. "And I was fine with that. Then one day I realised that I was in love with you, and my fate was sealed."

Erza's mouth fell open. "You're in love with me?"

"Well, yeah." Gray blinked up at her. "Why else would I be kneeling on the ground here like some knight before a maiden? Wasn't that obvious from the speech?"

"I-I-I didn't... didn't think, umm." Oh, what did the heroines in her novels always say? "I thought you..."

"What? That I super duper liked you?"

"Yes! Well, no, but!" Erza closed her eyes and hung her head. "I am sorry. It didn't... occur to me. I wasn't thinking..."

Gray snorted. "Okay, what did you think I was tryna do here?"

"I didn't realise you were in love! Does that mean you also want to..." Her face was burning hotter than Natsu's fire and she hated herself for it. "That you think about..."

"Yes?"

"M-m-m-marriage?"

For a long time, Gray was silent. Long enough for Erza to curse the very existence of her tongue. Long enough for her to sneak a peek at his face. Her nervousness evaporated as soon as she did, though. Gray was staring at her knee, his eyes unfocused.

"Can't lie. I did. Once or twice," he began. "Thought about what it coulda been like. Furniture, interior design. That whole thing." He hummed. "But I try not to. There's no point in building castles in the sky."

There was so much she wanted to ask him right then and there. What had he thought about? What kind of house? What colour curtains? Walls? She wanted to know everything he had thought of but stopped herself. Judging from the faraway look in his eyes, it was a dream he had given up on a long time ago. It was borderline insulting that he would give up like that – if he had thought about marriage, he was definitely serious about his feelings for her.

Then again, what have I done to make him try? What have I done to nurture his love? I didn't even know it existed!

"Why, though?" she asked her final question. "Why do you love me so much?"

And that was the main question. Why? Why her? Why, despite being convinced that he would never be able to achieve it, did he still hold onto his feelings? What made him go to such great lengths?

"Because why not?" Gray replied, cracking a genuine smile and looking up at her. "You're one of the most beautiful women I know. Your moral compass is unflinching. Your discipline is awesome. Your work ethic is unquestionable. You stand up for what you believe in and nobody sacrifices more for the guild than you. You're kind, gentle, smart and funny. Sure, you're quirky and weird too, but that doesn't take away from anything you are." He shook his head again. "I admire you and I respect you for everything you've done, but I love you for who you choose to be – a confident, beautiful person who lives life on her terms."

"Oh. Umm. Wow." She hated herself for not having the words with which to reply properly but, in her defence, none of the romance novels she read had ever had a scene like this. Caught totally unprepared, the weight of Gray's honesty was more than she could handle. "That's... nobody has said anything like that to me before..."

"In that case, I'm glad." With a gentle chuckle, Gray rose to his feet. "Because that's all I got. C'mon now. Let's get you back. You must be tired."

Erza frowned. "You don't want to know my reply?"

"I already know. You're still-"

"Jellal and I ended things," Erza told him as she stood. It annoyed her how he had taken his assumption to be fact. "He has a fiancé, or so he told me."

The look of utter horror that passed over Gray's face would have been comical, had she not been annoyed.

"What?" he croaked. "You and Jellal... what?"

Sighing, Erza led him back to the balcony. "We wandered off for a bit while you were unlocking your Second Origins. Things... happened that led him to lie to me."

"Wait. So. He's not engaged?"

Anger at Jellal's actions, coupled with her recent annoyance with Gray – though she didn't blame him for it – burned away the last vestiges of tongue-tied-ness from her mind and Erza finally found her words.

"No. He thinks that this is somehow noble. That he can't be with me if he lives the life he has chosen." Saying the words out loud, she could feel just how ridiculous they sounded. Erza glanced at Gray. "He lied and took the easy way out. You did not. You respected me enough to tell me the truth, even if you believed that I would reject you. For that alone, I admire you more."

Gray didn't say anything. He looked down at their linked hands and then up at her again, waiting for her to go on. She smiled to herself.

"During your soliloquy, I was spellbound... left wondering whether I deserved a love like that. For a while, my ideas of love revolved around Jellal, I admit. I was thrilled to see him again. Glad that he was fighting the good fight." She nodded to herself. "I was proud. But though he had seven years to grow and change, he still felt the need to protect me. That, too, with dishonesty. It can be considered romantic in stories, but is rather insulting to deal with in real life."

She had been sad and disappointed then. Both because he couldn't see himself have a life outside of his duty, and because he had used a lie as a shield. The conclusion she had reached that night on the beach was correct – it was for the best that they hadn't gotten together. He would not have treated her as an equal, would have put her on a pedestal she would never be able to descend from. It would've been... suffocating.

"Listening to you talk, I didn't feel for a moment that you were speaking about something you hadn't experienced. I felt your emotions here." She pressed her free hand to her chest. "And I thought to myself, 'I want to be the woman he's speaking about.'" With a shy smile, she looked at him again. "Little did I know that... well."

Again, Gray didn't speak, but he was smiling. With an elbow on the stone and his cheek in his hand, he was listening intently to everything she was saying.

There it was again. That look. Like she was the only one in his world. Erza didn't bother hiding her blush. She could get used to being looked at this way. It excited her. Made her feel more... alive.

"Gray, you're a kind, gentle soul yourself. You're brave, creative, and I feel like you ground me when I get carried away." He chuckled. "You've been there for me for as long as I can remember. I can only do so much for the guild because you risk so much for me, and I will never be able to repay you." She faced him, trying to calm her heart as it tried to burst out of her ribs. "Gray, you're my oldest and best friend, and tonight you've given me a gift I barely know what to do with. But I do owe you an honest response and this is it." She cleared her throat. "Jellal is still fresh in my mind, so I cannot commit to a relationship right now-"

Gray nodded. "Gotcha. I just hope-"

"But," Erza went on, interrupting whatever stupid thing he was doubtless about to say. "I'm not saying no."

"-that we can still... wait what?"

Idiot.

Erza sighed as patiently as she could. "I'm not saying no. I do want to... try. You have had, as you said, a few years to develop your feelings, so it will take me time to reach where you are, but..." she took in a deep, deep breath. "I want to try. I trust you. And I think I do deserve someone who sees me as an equal and isn't afraid of standing up to me."

Gray didn't reply for a long moment after she finished. Usually, she wouldn't mind, but after opening up like that she was feeling particularly anxious. And it was a long pause. He wasn't even moving.

Did he short circuit? Did I break Gray?

Erza wondered whether she ought to wave her hand before his face, but then he licked his lips. Slapped his cheek lightly.

"What, uh," he croaked. Then he cleared his throat. "What just happened?"

"What happened is I said I want to try working it out with you." She squeezed his wrist. "But it will take me some time before I can give you the things that you've... thought about."

"But... we're friends. Won't that be weird for you?"

"Oh?" Erza tilted her head. "Would you rather I settle down with an enemy?"

That got to him. Gray laughed, finally, and Erza sighed with relief. She waited until he had collected himself before continuing.

"I'm sure it will be strange at first," she told him. "But I was attracted to what you had to say. I like this romantic side of you. It's... nice."

Gray chuckled again. "Can't believe this is actually happening," he muttered, rubbing the back of his head. He couldn't stop smiling now. It was kind of adorable to behold. "Are you absolutely sure, though?"

"Yes, Gray, I am absolutely sure that I want to give this a chance." She shoved his shoulder playfully. "Are you sure you want to?"

"I'm sure," he replied immediately. "Definitely. Still wrapping my head around it, is all."

"Mhmm. Plenty of time to wrap your head around it while we walk back," Erza told him and tugged on his hand. "Or do you want to stay here for a while longer? "

"I want to be wherever you're at," Gray said, grinning broadly. Then he stopped and frowned. "Too soon? Definitely too soon. Too much cheese, too."

Laughing, Erza pulled him along down the road back towards their hotel. "It's fine. Although-"

"You want cake now, don't you?"

"Mhmm. You're pretty good at this boyfriend business already."

"Wait, we're calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend already?! I wasn't prepared for this!"

Erza didn't reply. Making Gray sweat like this was rather amusing and, she thought, she could get used to this.

Having good friends to lean on was a necessity for dark times. She knew this to be true. But finding love in one's best friend during such upheaval was something that, up until now, happened only in stories. Not to real, actual people. Erza, as she walked with Gray down the cobbled streets of Crocus, chatting and laughing happily, couldn't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, she could have a fairy tale romance, too.