A/N: Might have gone overboard this time... Usually I do like 25 but this time there's over 80! I couldn't stop writing them. Anyway, hope you all enjoy and I'll see you for the next chapter! XOXOXOX!
Chloe: THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL
Chloe: BUT THE FIRES SO DELIGHTFUL
Chloe: AND SINCE WEVE NO PLACE TO GO
Max: I understand the jukebox is driving you crazy, but do you really need to share the pain?
Chloe: ...let it snow let it snow let it snow :(
Max: I can hear music!
Max: Can I come hang out? Everyone else is in class I'm super bored :(
Dana: duh of course! You don't even need to ask! I haven't gotten max gossips in a while :)
Max: Kay I'll be down in a minute!
Max: HOMEWORK IS THE WORST
Chloe: youre almost done baby, then i get you for a whole month!
Max: Can't wait. I love you!
Chloe: i love you MORE
Max: WHAT
Chloe: yeah
Max: That's SO not a thing we're going to do now.
Chloe: ok sure but that sounds like u know its true
Max: NO. I love YOU more, Chloe.
Chloe: but i love you most
Max: OH HELL NO
Victoria: The more I think about it, the more I think there was something wrong with my controller last night.
Max: Wow, you're such a sore loser!
Victoria: I'm serious! I used a different controller the first time and I kicked everyone's ass!
Max: Just admit it, you're the Smash Bros. equivalent of A Flock of Seagulls
Victoria: EXCUSE YOU
Max: Babe I love you to death, you mean the world to me, you are my sunshine.
Chloe: ...but?
Max: But PLEASE stop sending me the turtle kid video. It's not funny anymore.
Chloe: woah man i gotta ask whens the last time you checked yourself
Max: Chloe
Chloe: cuz you are dangerously close to wrecking yourself
Max: Chloe please
Brooke: Hey, this a weird question, but do you have any suggestions for Christmas presents for Warren?
Max: the trick is to breathe thru your nose and not eat a lot beforehand
Brooke: Um?
Max: OMG I'm SO sorry! That was Chloe! She doesn't have a good filter for when things are appropriate.
Max: Anyway, Warren likes all kinds of stuff, you know that! I'm sure he'd love anything to do with games or pop culture, maybe something you're both fans of!
Brooke: No, hang on. What's Chloe's number?
Chloe: max max hey guess what hey max
Max: Lol, Chloe I KNOW. I was there too!
Chloe: oh
Chloe: but guess what!
Max: SIGH. What?
Chloe: we hella did the thing!
Kate: And then the graphics got very strange and they ate a cake made of organs
Kate: I did not like it
Max: I'm sorry, Kate. I don't know why she showed that to you.
Kate: It started so nice! :(
Max: Don't worry, I'll give her a talkin' to.
Chloe: so then pete just told the guy to get the fuck out!
Max: Hahaha oh man that's nuts! Then what happened?
Chloe: he got the fuck out?
Max: Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense. I was just expecting something more exciting.
Chloe: damn man come on i think weve had enough excitement
Max: You're not wrong.
Chloe: aint never been wrong once in my life
Chloe: okay maybe there was that one time and also that other and usually three times a day
Alyssa: Hi Max, would you be interested in coming to our next book club hang out?
Alyssa: Brooke said you'd probably be into it. We basically just sit around and read out loud.
Alyssa: Starting Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman this time.
Max: That sounds so fun! So long as you go easy on making me read out loud.
Alyssa: Don't worry. Book club also = social anxiety club
Max: Sweet! A twofer!
Chloe: babe come to warrens
Max: Warren's? Wait, are you here?
Chloe: ya!
Chloe: you were in class so i came to bug warwar instead
Chloe: hes grumpy i made him hook up his ps2 so we could play katamari
Chloe: also doesnt appreciate me singing the theme song into his ear
Chloe: so yeah, real chill peaceful vibe we got going on here
Max: It makes me so happy to see you getting along with people
Chloe: hey sure lets call it that
Max: Hi Courtney, when are you leaving for the holidays?
Courtney: Not for a few days. Why, what up?
Max: I think I'm going to need your help with something...
Max: Chloe Elizabeth
Chloe: ffffffuuuuuccckk
Chloe: im sorry! i thought shed like it!
Max: In what UNIVERSE would Kate enjoy Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared?
Chloe: idk! the cool one!?
Max: You're a mess, babe.
Chloe: nows probably a bad time to tell you i bought her a chuck palahniuk book, huh?
Frank: hey max, it's frank
Frank: Chloe's phone died so she told me to text you that she's almost off and will be over soon
Max: Okay, thank you! And now I have your number, muahaha!
Frank: what's that evil laugh for
Max: I can annoy you all the time for cute pics of Pompidou!
Frank: You say that like I dont already have hundreds on my phone
Chloe: so the madre wants to go out and get a tree tomorrow, wanna come with?
Max: Yeah! That sounds fun! My parents have been doing a fake tree for a while and it makes me sad.
Chloe: kinda disappointed your pops isnt living up to his lumberjack look
Chloe: i thought cutting down trees was like his version of a morning crossword
Max: More like snickering into his coffee as he watches cat videos
Chloe: the internet was a mistake
Kate: WHATS YOUR FAVORITE IDEA!?
Max: Kate? It's 2AM
Kate: MINE IS BEING CREATIVE!
Max: Wait, have you been rewatching it?
Kate: I think I understand it now. I have many theories! You can come over and I can make tea and I'll tell you about them!
Max: It's 2AM?
Kate: Chamomile it is!
Chloe: dadvid chronicles entry #493
Chloe: the subject has bought me a small pack of sour patch kids
Chloe: he said they reminded him of me
Chloe: subject has also taken the time to show me his favorite albums
Chloe: quality must be further analyzed. results at this time are inconclusive
Max: Jesus Christ this is enthralling.
Max: Victoria what if we didn't need to blink
Victoria: ?
Max: I'm going to try
Victoria: Are you like, totally baked?
Max: Are you like totally snaked
Max: list of burn centers in the united states
Victoria: Did you just fuck up your own joke by trying to google in our text messages?
Max: I had to blink is too hard
Chloe: or a trampoline!
Chloe: i could sneak in while your in class and hide under the desk!
Chloe: the blackwell pool obvi, we shoulda just did it the first time
Chloe: AT THE TWO WHALES WHILE IM WORKING!
Max: Those all seem like they'd end with us in jail.
Chloe: IN JAIL!
Warren: I AM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I GET BROOKE FOR CHRISTMAS
Max: Why does everyone keep asking me for gift advice!?
Warren: YOU ARE GIRL. WHAT GIRL GIFT.
Max: A "girl" gift? Really dude?
Warren: Okay sorry but also help pls
Max: Hang on.
Max: waaaaaaarrreen what up babybear
Warren: Chloe?
Max: ya sec let me read
Max: ok so what your gonna wanna do is practice your ABCs
Warren: I'm so lost
Max: lol ill text you
Chloe: guessss who just had the coolest table ever
Max: Who!?
Chloe: noooooot fuckin meeeeeee!
Chloe: spent the whole time whispering about my looks and then didnt tip
Max: Woah, what a bunch of assholes.
Max: Maybe they were super jelly because you're the hottest thing around
Chloe: i mean OBVIOUSLY but its still hella rude!
Max: Never change, my love.
Daniel: Hi Max
Daniel: Thanks again for letting me sketch you! Not many people let me.
Max: Of course, Daniel! It was amazing! They'll regret it someday when you make it big!
Daniel: That's so kind of you. Here's to hoping.
Max: I don't know how you can say that with a straight face.
Chloe: in fairness nothing about this face is particularly straight so
Chloe: checkmate as fuck
Joyce: Hey sweetie, just letting you know some of your clothes turned up in the wash. They're here when you need them. =)
Max: Ohhhhhhkay. Thank you Joyce! Don't know how that happened, sorry.
Joyce: Yeah, it sure is a real mystery.
Max: MORE
Chloe: MOST
Max: I love you x10000
Chloe: i love you a million and twelve
Max: I love you more than there are stars in the sky
Chloe: well i love you more than that
Max: Wow what kind of Konami Code bullshit is that
Dana: Hey thank you SO much for helping out with the decorations!
Dana: Would have taken me forever by myself.
Max: Hey, Dana-da.
Dana: You give me shit for puns but I get it from you.
Dana: lol
Dana: I LEARNED IT FROM YOU MAX. I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU.
Chloe: come on maxine
Max: Come on what?
Chloe: i swear well i mean
Max: I'm confused.
Chloe: at this moment YOU MEAN EVERYTHING
Max: Ohhhh you're being dumb.
Chloe: how dare you i wrote that song for you
Victoria: Hey, can I ask you a kind of weird question?
Max: Are you going to ask me what you should get Kate for Christmas?
Victoria: ...no
Max: Vic.
Victoria: Okay, MAYBE I was going to ask something that was sort of kinda in that ballpark.
Max: And by in that ballpark, did you mean literally up to bat?
Max: Don't worry, you're not the first person to ask me what they should get for the person they like.
Max: Seriously, both Warren AND Brooke asked me! Weird, right?
Victoria: What do you mean LIKE?
Max: Oh, right. You still think it's a secret! Sorry! :p
Victoria: I'm going to come over there and punch you in the tits.
Max: I'm not sure she'd like that, you can't break your hand twice! That's basically re-gifting!
Max: LOL I just heard you scream
Chloe: so now that were banging
Max: Is that really what we're going to call it?
Chloe: ?
Chloe: boning? slamming? humping? porking? screwing? fornicating? nailing? flompbuggling?
Max: That last one sounds like a Dr. Seuss word.
Chloe: i will flomp you in a chair, i will flomp you anywhere!
Max: Jesus Christ, it's Niagara Falls in my pants.
Chloe: yeah see, i know how to get you going
Kate: Thanks so much again for agreeing to look after Alice while I'm away.
Kate: Car rides make her so anxious so I try not to make her go through it when I can
Max: Aw, the poor thing! It's no problem Kate, I'm excited to have a roommate!
Kate: I told her she was going to be staying with Aunt Max and her ear twitched so I think she's excited too!
Max: Kate Marsh – the bunny whisperer! You could have a show!
Chloe: truth or dare
Max: Oh, we're doing this now?
Chloe: im bored!
Max: Alright. Truth.
Chloe: oooooooo
Chloe: have you ever touched my butt while i was sleeping?
Max: Is that seriously the question you had in the chamber?
Max: Of course I have. I even build a little shrine to it and pray sometimes.
Max: Cuz that thing is #blessed
Chloe: no hashtag
Max: Hey Jul
Max: I heard about you and Zach. Just wanted to say sorry and I'm here if you need to talk.
Juliet: Thanks Max, I really appreciate it.
Juliet: I'm proud of myself for finally ending it for good but it still hurts to not have someone, you know?
Max: I can imagine. But I'm here for you and so is everyone else! Come to the next Avril Lavigne hangout, it'll take your mind off it.
Juliet: The what hangout?
Max: It's what me and Dana call getting stoned with all the skater boys.
Max: That guy you made out with that one time is usually there!
Juliet: I forgot about him! Lol, he seemed nice.
Chloe: it was one of those pushpop ones thats like orange sherbet flavor?
Chloe: we used to eat them all the time when we were kids
Max: Oh man I totally remember now! Those were awesome.
Chloe: yeah! so anyway in my dream it had chicken legs and was chasing me through a hedge maze
Max: That's really fucking weird.
Chloe: what do you think it means?
Max: I think it means I want one of those now.
Frank: I didn't know you smoked. you don't really seem the type
Max: Yes, well, Chloe can be persuasive. As I'm sure you're aware.
Frank: yeah no kidding. She's a pain in the ass sometimes but she's a sweet kid.
Frank: you know actually, I'm really glad she has you
Frank: She deserves happiness after all this time, you know?
Max: That's really sweet. You're a big ol' softie.
Frank: maybe. Don't tell anyone.
Frank: And if you and the brat want to hang out and smoke up sometime, I'm available!
Max: Soooo, hey. Just a heads up. Not a big deal or anything but...
Chloe: whats wrong? are you okay?
Max: Oh yeah, I'm fine! Nothing weird like that.
Chloe: k good. so whats the not a big deal but actually probably?
Max: I'm like 99% sure your mother knows.
Chloe: DAVID YOU TRAITOR
Max: Mmmm noooo. Remember how we couldn't find my underwear and you said the force of our makeouts must have vaporized it?
Chloe: vaguely. sounds like something id say
Max: Yeah so it turns out I was right when I said that was impossible. They actually ended up in your laundry with some of my other clothes.
Chloe: that is unfortunate
Max: But I mean, hey! Look on the bright side!
Chloe: yeah?
Max: I didn't have to do my own laundry!
Justin: yo Max
Max: Hey dude! What's up?
Justin: nm. I just wanted to say thanks for being so cool and I'm happy that we're friends.
Max: Uh...I mean, thank you and the feeling is mutual, but where did that come from?
Justin: meh I'm sober, caught in a thought loop so im texting all the people I care about
Max: Oh nevermind, I figured it out.
Chloe: what was wrong with it?
Max: I was just resetting the clock instead of actually doing a cooking time.
Chloe: wtf kind of microwave are you using
Max: I don't know! It's like prehistoric. I think Samuel dug it up.
Victoria: So like is Chloe a good lay what are the details
Max: That's a little personal, no?
Victoria: Ohhh come on! Friends talk about stuff like this!
Max: Fine, she was perfectly lovely tyvm.
Victoria: Wow, sparing no details I see.
Max: What do you want to hear? That we made love while riding a unicorn through space?
Victoria: UH YES?
Chloe: is my turn
Max: Kay, truth or dare?
Chloe: dare!
Max: How am I supposed to dare you over text message? I kinda assumed this was truth only.
Chloe: idk ill take a picture or something to prove it
Max: Ha! Good idea. I dare you to send me a dirty pic ;)
Max: Okay WOW I was not expecting you to do it!
Chloe: that was your first mistake
Mom: Maxine Caulfield, I cannot believe you don't want to spend Christmas with your family!
Max: What!? That's not it at all! Dad said it'd be okay if I stayed with Chloe!
Mom: Oh believe me, I've already talked to him about it. I just can't believe you don't want to see us.
Max: Mom! I do too! I just thought it'd be easier to stay up here and I'd get to spend my first Christmas with her.
Mom: JK, we're going on vacay to San Fran to see your aunt! But I still want a Skype call at some point!
Max: Mom that was so mean
Chloe: hey qt, wanna go on a date tonight to this cool new place i discovered?
Max: Hell to the yeah! Where?!
Chloe: its called the bone zone
Max: You are such a dork.
Chloe: yeah but u love it so many
Max: It's true...FOR SOME REASON
Chloe: rude
Max: DO YOU UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS
Taylor: What? he's still talking? i've been daydreaming.
Max: About what? Let me in there so I can escape this hell of numbers
Taylor: idk just thinkin about like if pools were upside down
Max: I'm sorry?
Taylor: Yeah! and you could still swim in them for some reason but to get out you had to swim down and then fall onto a trampoline.
Taylor: Also how you get in btw
Max: Woah.
Taylor: ikr? I was totally zoned lol. Anyway, have I missed anything important? fill me in just in case he calls on me.
Taylor: Max?
Taylor: oh are you serious
Max: Baboo can we get pizza tonight? I'm craving.
Chloe: yeah that sounds really good actually
Max: And maybe some breadsticks?
Chloe: thats so much starch, we'd prolly die
Chloe: they are good though so yeah ill get some
Chloe: toppings?
Max: Hawaiian!
Chloe: wtf is wrong with pepperoni holy goddamn
Max: I've been making Chloe watch it, she totally loves it
Warren: Awesome! It should be required viewing for everyone.
Max: I think she has a legit crush on both Mustang AND Hawkeye
Warren: I mean I wouldn't kick Colonel Mustang out of bed for eating crackers
Max: Gay for an anime character. This is why I love you.
Chloe: pete just yelled at me!
Max: What did you do!?
Chloe: i was totally spacing and didnt hear a customer come in
Chloe: in my defense, i was thinkin about how cute you are
Max: Stop, you're a butt.
Chloe: maybe be a little less perfect then. its not my fault!
Max: We can use this chat as our super secret pirate club.
Kate: This is so exciting! I've always wanted to be a member of a secret club.
Chloe: yeah we gon wreck shit up!
Max: Actually, my main goal here was to give you a place to text us in case you're not feeling great, Kate.
Chloe: yeah like if were hanging out and you start to feel anxious, text here so we can take care of it but sneakily
Kate: That's so sweet. I love you guys!
Max: We love you too Kate :)
Chloe: she said she loves me its too cute
Kate: Um...can we still talk about other pirate secrets too?
Max: Lol of course
Kate: Yes! That is hella cool.
Chloe: my child
Max: Did I tell you you're going to be an aunt?
Chloe: a million questions
Max: Lol. I'm looking after Alice while Kate's away
Chloe: BUNNY?
Max: Mhm!
Chloe: BUNNY
Trevor: That pic you took the other day is so sick! Thx for the copy!
Max: You're welcome! Sorry if the scan is a little weird on it.
Trevor: its fine. Seriously that shot is so dope! youre like a wizard!
Max: Aw, thanks! But you're the one who actually did the trick!
Trevor: that part comes easy to me, I think what you do is way harder
Max: We're all good at different things, that's what makes us special!
Trevor: That just gave me the most real flashback to watching Mr. Rodgers
Chloe: so i was digging through some piles of junk in my room
Chloe: and i found a notebook FULL of the most emo music shit
Max: Hahaha aw! You were such a cute lil loser.
Chloe: yep, lemme read you some stuff from it
Chloe: "when i grow up, i want to be just like hayley williams. she is so cool and hot and the best singer ever! i want to dye my hair like hers!"
Chloe: "i think that taking back sunday is better than brand new because i dont really get brand news lyrics."
Chloe: "i want to be a groupie for mcr! we can follow them all over and maybe gerard would even make me his gf!"
Max: Wow, that is some...next level cringe, babe.
Chloe: sure is! wait a sec...huh, it says all these ones were written by 'Max C.'
Max: ….no
Chloe: HAHAHA YES. you dont remember us writing in this thing? o man.
Max: Burn it please
Chloe: never gonna happen
Max: Hey Pop, thanks for being so cool about me staying here for the holidays.
Max: You're the best father I have!
Dad: FINALLY! Take THAT all of Max's other dads.
Max: You'll receive your trophy and ticket of authenticity within 2-3 weeks.
Dad: I'll be sure to put it right next to my silver "favorite husband" trophy on the mantle.
Max: Hahaha omg, Mom didn't even give you first place?
Dad: I've made peace with the fact that she'll never look at me the way she looks at Ryan Gosling.
Chloe: guess who just came into the two whales
Max: Tupac?!
Chloe: that would have been way cooler
Chloe: it was the reporter that down with the vickness lit the fuck up
Max: Are you for real!? Did he recognize you?
Chloe: uhhhhh maybe idk
Max: Chlo...
Chloe: ok yea he definitely recognized me
Max: You shit talked him didn't you?
Chloe: no! i very kindly let him know that if he did it again, he'd be lucky if vic got to him before me
Chloe: and then i may have told him 'sorry were out of bird seed' because he has a honkin ass beak now
Max: I can't even be mad, you know I get all swoon-y when you act tough for Kate.
Max: I don't know! It's weird, man! It's freaking me out!
Warren: Then stop watching the video?
Max: I can't! It won't let me!
Warren: Dude are you serious right now
Max: Why does its head move so slow what is wrong with this planet
Warren: Okay, for future reference, you're not allowed to watch videos of praying mantises while high anymore.
Chloe: hey i know your in class but i just wanted to say i love you more than anythin
Chloe: and i wanna use ur butt as a pillow
Kate: Hey guys, do you think Victoria would like a drawing for Christmas or is that stupid?
Chloe: YES YES YES YES YES
Max: DO IT
Kate: That was a stronger reaction than I was expecting but okay!
Chloe: so...what are u wearing now?
Max: Actually, just a towel. Just got out of the shower.
Chloe: omg what yes! tell me about the shower
Max: Well, it was reeeeally steamy and I was all wet, obviously.
Chloe: go on...
Max: Then I got shampoo in my eye! It still burns!
Chloe: i just made a pterodactyl noise and now customers are looking at me
Chloe: u suck so much at dirty texting
Max: I'm okay with that.
Dana: So we should pee on all his stuff!
Max: Zach's an ass, but I'm not really down for bullying.
Max: Fire with fire just means more fire, you know?
Dana: ARRGH you are such a buzzkill!
Dana: And right, of course. Why do you always have to be right?
Max: Someone has to be or else there'd be no one left.
Chloe: did u know that coyotes greatest natural threat is gravity?
Max: That doesn't sound right.
Chloe: it is im watching a documentary right now
Max: Would this documentary happen to be sponsored by ACME?
Chloe: ooooo im way more high than i thought i was
Max: Hey gang, need some new music to study to. Any recommendations?
Chloe: punchline, bowie, rancid, rx bandits, alkaline trio
Victoria: The new Miley Cyrus album is so good!
Chloe: thats garbage
Victoria: Fuck you, you gangly punk wannabe
Chloe: you fuckin wish, i know you want this
Victoria: I'd rather slit my throat with rusty scissors
Chloe: yeah if by rusty scissors u mean this puss all up in that face
Victoria: Yeah FUCKING right, I'm literally gagging
Max: DUDE
Max: Victoria, don't be a bitch to my girlfriend!
Victoria: Sorry Max
Max: Chloe, stop being a brat. You sing Wrecking Ball all the time!
Chloe: lol yea
Kate: I've been listening to the Lilo & Stitch soundtrack a lot lately, you should try that!
Max: ...thanks Kate
Chloe: kate is so precious i want to puke
Chloe: HOW DOES SHE NOT KNOW
Max: I just don't think she's really looking for it, you know?
Chloe: does vic know we kno?
Max: Yeah, but she still hasn't outright admitted it.
Chloe: playin the long game. i can respect that.
Mom: I'm going to put your presents in the mail tomorrow! :)
Max: Dang, so that means no pony then.
Mom: What sort of mother do you take me for?! But my goodness did it take forever chopping him up so he could fit in the boxes!
Max: Wooooah Mom. Too dark, reel it in.
Mom: Oh shoot. It always gets away from me.
Chloe: leaning toward jesus christ superstar but i have a little list to pick from
Max: It's so cute how you're going full Santa mode for our friends.
Max: Hey you didn't like, go overboard on stuff for me, right?
Chloe: nope
Max: Promise?
Chloe: well overboard is a relative term, whats overboard to u may not be to me
Max: Awww man I have to find like a million more things for you now.
Chloe: NAOOOO i dont want
Max: You're so difficult
Taylor: its the one with the really pale bald guy who can move stuff with his mind
Max: I have NO idea what movie you're talking about.
Taylor: damn, I think it'd be a good one for a movie night
Taylor: Even asked warren and he didn't know
Taylor: I thought he knew every movie ever?
Max: That's just what he wants you to think.
Taylor: well that's rude and false advertisement, I could sue
Chloe: this book makes me feel stupid
Max: What do you mean?
Chloe: he introduces a new character or place like every other sentence
Chloe: how am i supposed to keep track of this?
Max: It'd be much easier if you'd just watch the show with me.
Chloe: you mean this whole time i coulda been snuggling you and watching it instead
Chloe: fuck this warren can have it back
Max: You're going to be home for the whole break? :(
Kate: Yes but it's not that far! We can still get together! You could even visit me at my house!
Max: At your house? With your family?
Kate: Mhm!
Max: So...don't bring Chloe then.
Kate: Oh. I hadn't thought about that...
Kate: You know what? No. You and Chloe are definitely coming to visit.
Max: That sounds like a super not good idea, Kate. No offense.
Kate: I don't care. You're my best friend and they need to respect that.
Max: We're going to a sleep over!
Chloe: we are?
Max: Yeah! Victoria's idea for before everyone leaves!
Chloe: who go?
Max: Me, you, Kate, Vic, Tay, Courtney for sure. Maybe more?
Chloe: so what are the rules concerning us maybe doin a lil somesome
Max: Uhhh definitely a no go?
Chloe: yo thats wack as fuck son
Max: My room is literally across the hall if you seriously can't wait
Chloe: ya ya ya lets keep that on the itinerary
Brooke: Hey, so the next book club meeting is at Alyssa's apartment
Brooke: So I was thinking we could leave together
Max: Sure! Sounds like a good plan. Buddy system, right?
Max: YESSS BROOKE ACTUALLY DOESNT HATE ME
Max: oh
Max: ...needless to say I meant to send that to someone else.
Brooke: You thought I hated you?
Max: Uhhhh I don't know. I wasn't really sure, I guess.
Max: This is awkward, sorry.
Brooke: I don't hate you! I think you're really cool!
Brooke: And trust me, I've done way more awkward things.
Max: So I got a box from my parents with presents! ^_^
Chloe: score! did they get u the 3 pounds of coke and the fuzzy handcuffs like you asked!?
Max: Totally! And by totally, I mean no!
Chloe: wooof thats just disappointing
Max: Anyway, the REASON I'm telling you is because there's some stuff marked 'Chloe'
Chloe: OMFG REALLY!?
Max: Uh huh!
Chloe: now im crying
Max: Aw babe :*
Chloe: DONT LOOK AT ME
Courtney: Did you get the pictures?
Max: Yes, but I'm bad at this kind of girl stuff. You look awesome in all of them.
Courtney: You don't think the red one is a little much? I prefer the navy but idk.
Max: Then get the navy one!
Courtney: Buuuut the navy one doesn't have the same like, sense of regality that the red or green one has.
Max: Wait, now I'm confused. I thought they were all the same shirt but just different colors?
Courtney: Omfg Max!
Max: I'm sorry! I don't know the difference! Have you seen my wardrobe?!
Courtney: Well now Victoria's yelling at me to get out of the dressing room. Sigh. Why is life so difficult?
Max: Get the navy one!
Chloe: my mother bought poptarts without frosting
Chloe: this is an act of aggression and i wont stand for it
Max: I didn't even know they made them without frosting?
Max: What's...the point?
Chloe: THANK YOU!
Justin: ayo we gon to jared's apartment 2night?
Trevor: Yeah bro, at least a few of the guys are
Dana: I'll be there! And bringing along a special guest
Chloe: i think we can swing by, nothing else planned
Justin: wat special guest?
Max: o hai guyz, we talkin about smokin that wacky tobaccy?
Trevor: hahahahaha
Dana: I'm bringing Juliet, Justin. Do you know if Aiden will be there?
Justin: prolly, he follows the green like the elf from lucky charms
Chloe: elf? justin man...
Trevor: let him have it
Trevor: so wait, thats a yes for max and chlo?
Chloe: oui oui!
Max: Yes, I would like to smoke of your dankest bud please.
Dana: rofl Max I am in tears
Chloe: fucking shoot me in the ears
Max: No, your ears are so cute.
Chloe: ive been listening to generic racist trucker #4 complain for like 15 mins
Chloe: millenials, mexicans, smartphones, its just too much man
Max: That's the unfortunate part of customer service :/
Chloe: im sorry what
Chloe: this motherfucker just dropped 'illuminati' like it wasnt a big deal
Max: Okay, well now I'm just interested.
Max: Courtney said you were acting weird this morning and now I can't find you
Max: I'm worried, please answer.
Victoria: Sorry, I'm here. Been packing/sleeping/moping.
Max: Not excited to head back to Seattle for break?
Victoria: I guess so but it's a little sad. I'm gonna miss you guys while I'm gone.
Victoria: You there?
Max: Yeah sorry, was just sending the screen cap of that to Chloe and Warren.
Victoria: Or maybe I won't
Max: Btw, Kate really wants us to visit her during the break.
Chloe: of course, i figured we probably were going to anyway?
Max: I mean at her house.
Chloe: where her family is?
Max: Yeah.
Chloe: that sounds fuckin hilarious im so in
Chloe: do you think theyll explode if i kiss u?
Max: That's a very real concern! I'm like actually nervous.
Chloe: ill be on my best behavior, pwomise
Dad: ARE YOU SEEING THIS
Max: I just checked it! This whole year has been crazy!
Dad: So proud of my Seahawks. We're gonna win it all!
Max: That would be WILD but they need to get through Denver or NE.
Dad: I raised you to have better faith than that, Maxine!
Max: Pop, you also raised me to scream "showtime, synergy!" every time I entered the room.
Dad: And I stand by that.
Chloe: so this is my life now just sharing six packs with david
Max: Still weird?
Chloe: very, but its a good weird
Max: I'm sure Joyce is thrilled.
Chloe: ohhhh she doesnt know. he even pulled a 'dont tell your mother'
Max: Wow! Just like a real dad!
Kate: I heard you playing again last night :)
Max: Ahhh that's so embarrassing :/ I hope I didn't keep you up.
Kate: No! In fact, it was pleasant to fall asleep to. You shouldn't be embarrassed.
Kate: Someday we will play together, I just know it.
Max: Maybe... I'm slowly getting better I think.
Kate: Good! I'm proud of you for keeping at it!
Max: YOU
Chloe: me!
Max: DID YOU TAKE HIM
Chloe: what? who?
Max: CAPTAIN BEARBEAR
Chloe: no why would i take your teddy bear?
Max: Because you're sick and would derive pleasure from something like that!
Chloe: ok u need to chill babe, im sure he's around
Max: ...sorry
Chloe: oh could you speak up?
Max: IM SORRY
Chloe: hahaha its okay
Max: I couldn't see him under your beanie.
Max: How'd you get him to hold the chocolate bar?
Chloe: took waaaay too long dude
Max: Oh man oh man
Max: I'm so sorry! I was trying to surprise you by washing the dishes and I dropped one of your glasses!
Max: I'm sorry! I'll get you a new one!
Joyce: Hon calm down, it's okay. We have too many dishes anyway.
Joyce: The gesture alone is worth so much to me. You're a real sweetheart.
Max: Kay :( thanks for being cool as always
Joyce: Don't you give me that sad face! I'm not mad or anything, I promise. I'll give you a hug later.
Joyce: And I love you!
Max: Love you too Joyce. You're the best.
Max: You need to have a talk with your son.
Chloe: wat whys he only my son when hes in trouble?
Max: Because you're the one with influence.
Chloe: fine what did he do
Max: He totally beaned me in the back of the head with a snowball!
Chloe: lol sick
Max: Is this how it's going to be if we ever actually have kids?
Max: Hello?
Max: It was a joke...I mean...mostly.
Chloe: sry i blacked out whats going on
Max: I...would you know? With you? That'd be amazing.
Chloe: yeah...somewhere down the line to have a little baby max running around
Chloe: wow what the fuck we are in love huh?
Max: Oh! I'm glad you're finally catching on!
Max: We're at the store now. Any snack requests for movie?
Warren: Get one of those Christmas tins of popcorn!
Taylor: Caaaaaaaaaan I get some skittles?
Brooke: Warren's popcorn is good enough for me.
Courtney: yeah me too!
Kate: I have a bunch of candy canes I can bring!
Victoria: Idc just surprise me.
Max: You're putting your faith in Chloe's hands just so you know.
Victoria: As long as she washed them first.
Max: WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
Chloe: so there's this trick with the ABC's
Max: Har har, very funny. Didn't sound like I needed that trick last night.
Chloe: hahaha o shit, that was such a fast reply
Max: Babe, I'm being serious. Isn't there anything at all I could get for you?
Chloe: ok fine lemme think
Chloe: i want you to take 5 pictures and give em to me
Max: Pictures of what?
Chloe: anything
Chloe: i love when you explain your photos to me
Chloe: how u can make a fuckin bench seem like this incredible and beautiful thing
Chloe: idk i like being able to see things the way you always do
Chloe: makes me feel close to you. is that dumb?
Max: Wowsers, Chlo. No. It's not dumb. I'll get right on it.
Warren: Chloe left her jacket here, fyi
Max: Oh! Thanks, we'll get it in the morning.
Max: Aaaactually...did she leave anything else there?
Warren: I don't think so, but I'll look.
Max: K thanks
Warren: WHEN DID SHE TAKE OFF HER BRA?
Max: When you want to the bathroom :)
Warren: WHY
Max: Cuz bras suck, dude. Also my hands were cold so she warmed them up for me.
Warren: My couch isn't like...defiled, right?
Max: Oh get over yourself, ya drama queen.
Max: I febreezed it!
Chloe: i wanna snug you so bad it physically hurts
Chloe: this bed sucks
Chloe: these pillows suck
Chloe: i just want my maxy :(
Max: I was going to joke about how it's your fault for making me do homework but the emoji made it too real.
Chloe: im sorry, i dont know why im like this all the sudden
Max: Just a few more days and we can cuddle every single night
Chloe: promise?
Max: I promise baby. I'm here, okay? Call me if you need to.
Chloe: dokay. i love you so much