Hello! It's me! This is actually an old one shot I found a few days ago, so I decided to finish writing it and then publish it! It's actually a sweet/bittersweet type story and... That's it.
Enjoy!
Fond
Cera Li-vi Britannia looked down at the infant in the crib, too afraid to touch the delicate face of the peach skinned child. All she could do was admire her silk, raven hair and long, dark eyelashes from a certain distance. She did wonder about the color of her eyes, though. As far as she knew, they were golden irises - just like hers - but she never got to see up close before. She had only seen them in pictures and from a distance, but today… Today was her first time back home in three months and she would love to hold the sleeping infant and cradle her to her chest.
She had only held her three times since the day she was born.
But she was afraid.
The door creaked all the open, catching her attention and forcing her to look from the child to the person standing in the doorway of the room. She gave him a small smile and he returned it, welcoming himself into the room. He walked gracefully but quietly, something he had always been good at, making sure that he didn't make any type of noise that would wake up the child in the crib.
When he was in her space, he grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers. As always, his large hands fit perfectly in her smaller ones and it always made her smile. There used to be a time when she didn't even want him to touch her or be within her presence simply because she found him childish, rash, and annoying.
After all, her husband had been two years younger than her when they met back in his second year of high school.
She had always been sickly as a child and was in and out of the hospital, so she was always being pulled out of school for long periods of time, constantly having to repeat certain grades if she didn't attend enough school days. She was out of school for most of her senior year at Ashford Academy, so she found herself having to repeat the year all over again when her health had improved enough for her to attend school again.
There were no clubs she was interested in and she couldn't join any clubs that caused her to be constantly active, so the school suggested she join the Student Council. Begrudgingly, she did join and that's where she had met him.
Her husband.
Lelouch vi Britannia.
The oldest son of the president of Britannia, Charles zi Britannia and his first lady, Marianne vi Britannia.
He had made a name for himself among the students, especially the girls (and some boys). He was known to be kind, handsome, and as vice president, constantly involved in the planning of school events.
At first, he had been kind and introduced himself with a charming smile that had left her unimpressed, so she had said, "You like receiving attention, don't you, little boy?"
That had been the end of it from there.
Her observation had immediately made his whole demeanor change; a twitching eyebrow, clenched fist, and an annoyed look was all it took for her to know that he wasn't going to take a liking to her anytime soon. It had been his friend, Suzaku - one of her closest friends now - who had to hold him back and tell him to calm down.
She had decided she didn't like him after that.
But for some odd reason, after that, he had constantly done things - anything - that would get her to pay attention to him. All his attempts were pretty futile because it would always end with her unimpressed, slightly annoyed, and her calling him childish, which finally resulted in him calling her "witch" after he became fed up.
That had impressed her.
She had never heard such a childish but amusing nickname before, so in return, she decided to play along and called him her "precious warlock." That didn't sit too well with him, but it got a small smirk out of him that was filled with amusement.
It was the moment she became fond of him.
She started to tolerate his presence around her and instead of trying to impress her for some reason she had not figured out then, he genuinely decided to start spending time with her - mostly in school - even if he insisted that she was just "an annoying witch with no friends" and he should keep her company. When he finally suggested that they should hang out outside of school, she just rolled her eyes, not looking up from her book and saying:
"I thought you would never ask. Being around someone as childish as you in this room gets boring."
"I'm only two years younger than you."
"And your maturity level doesn't prove that much, does it?"
"Tch."
It was on those friendly hangouts that they found out much more about one another. Lelouch was an inspiring writer and wrote most of the plays the school had had since his first year; his father had been president of Britannia for the last six years, but their family was already very well known for being a wealthy family, his father having been a CEO and a his mother a former ballerina. He had two younger siblings - Rolo and Nunnally - and many cousins that he knew all by name and face, but didn't quite like any of them except for two. He was also - what she found out - gentle, kind, caring, selfless, and very strong morals to match with the negatives about him.
It wasn't too long before he asked her out on a date.
She was expecting it.
The words had smoothly rolled off his tongue, but his entire face was as red as a tomato while he did so.
"Hmm, you're still childish."
"I'm only two years younger than you."
"That's a baby."
"C.C., you're nineteen."
"So?"
"Ugh."
They dated for five years and during that time, C.C. had graduated and decided to go into music. She didn't attend college, deciding that it would be better to not attend and have to be in a situation worse than her previous one in high school. She attended local music classes instead, surprisingly enjoyinging them more than she thought.
Lelouch attended a local college and majored in English. His attitude about it was quite funny because he enjoyed creative writing more than non-creative writing and it only left him upset. So during that time, he tried to get his own writing out there, working on a book he had been writing since high school. It was about an exiled prince who ran a rebellion, hoping to make the world a better place for his sister.
After months and months of searching, he found a publishing company and the book became a bestseller, which was something he hadn't been expecting. He did end up graduating from college (despite his many protests of previously wanting to drop out because he could not write what he wanted).
During the course of those five years, C.C.'s health had deteriorated and she ended up landing herself in the hospital for a few months again. She had insisted on going home, saying she was fine, but Lelouch demanded that she stay. He didn't want anything else to happen to her again after she had blacked out in front of him. Hesitantly, she listened and stayed in the hospital for two months.
Just when she had been getting bored, he had proposed to her - in the hospital of all places - and she wasn't one to cry; emotions were almost like an enemy to her, but all the tears had flown down her face heavily because of every feeling she had built up in the last two months. He didn't want a big wedding, but she had fought him on it. She didn't know how much her health was going to improve and with it constantly going back and forth between improvement and deteriorating, she wanted to experience such.
Four months later, when her health had improved, they were married.
The wedding ceremony was short and sweet, but the reception lasted all night. Combined with their friends and family - mostly Lelouch's considering he had a very huge family - they had celebrated all night and she didn't regret a single bit of it. She lived most of her life sick and she didn't want to stop now. If her life could move forward with the man she loved, then she didn't mind being sick more than the average person.
Just as long as her life moved forward.
So she could become fond of the man she would live the rest of her life with.
And wanted to become fond of the child they had made.
But she was still scared.
She hadn't been in her child's life the last three months and wanted to be with her, so they could bond.
So they could become fond.
"I see you've met Marie."
Marianna Elizabeth vi Britannia.
"She's really beautiful," C.C. mumbled, leaning her head softly against her husband's chest. She liked to lay on his chest. It was always warm and comforting. "I missed her…"
Lelouch buried his nose in C.C.'s hair, mumbling, "I know you did, but you're back home now. With us."
"How am I sure I won't go back…?" she whispered. "I don't want to miss any more time with her…"
"You won't."
"Has she… Has she been good with you?"
"She's usually very quiet with me. It's when I'm not around that she makes a huge fuss." Lelouch let out a small chuckle, turning his head to look at his daughter sleeping soundly in her crib. "She cried when Suzaku held her… I only needed to go get her diaper bag."
"I see she's attached to you already, then," C.C. chuckled quietly.
She was happy Lelouch was bonding with their daughter, but she couldn't help but feel lingering jealousy that her husband was able to be with their daughter the last three months while she was in the hospital for observance. That meant Marie had a bond and an attachment to Lelouch - She was fond of him.
But would she be fond of her?
The thought made her worry deeply and suddenly her chest started to hurt. She gasped lowly and she felt Lelouch's hand tightened around hers. He took a step back and looked at her in concern, his amethyst eyes staring straight back into her golden ones. "Are you okay?" he asked. "Do you need to-"
"No… No, I'm fine…" C.C. cut in, giving her husband a small reassuring smile. "I was just thinking that… What if Marie doesn't know me?"
"What do you mean?" Lelouch asked.
She could hear the change of tone in his voice. She already knew that he didn't like what she was implying. She cleared her throat. "I didn't even get to touch her when she was born because of… You know… So, what if… What if she doesn't know that I'm her mother? She doesn't even know my touch well enough…"
Her husband's eyes narrowed slightly and a frown turned up on his lips. He squeezed her hand again while turning to look down at their daughter who was shifting in her sleep. She turned to look at her with him. "She knows you. You're her mother. She'll always know you," he said quietly but firmly. "Nothing will change that."
"But-"
"Nothing will change that no matter how often you fall sick, Cera."
C.C. closed her mouth, deciding to think on his words silently. As she did, Marie had awakened and her golden eyes were wide and curious, the sleep from them quickly disappearing. She looked around as if she were searching for something. Her eyes landed on C.C. and she shrunk back away from the crib.
What was she doing?
How was she scared of her own baby?
"Do you want to hold her?" Lelouch asked her, letting go of her hand and walking closer to the crib. He smiled down at the baby and greeted her. "Good evening, sweetheart."
That caused a smile to appear on Marie's face and C.C. felt that twinge of jealousy rile up in her chest again.
"I… I can't hold her… I'll hurt her…" C.C. mumbled. "I've only held her three times… That's not enough for her to know me."
Lelouch didn't answer right away. She saw him pick up Marie and he turned around, a small frown sitting upon his face again. He took a step towards C.C. and she moved back again. A small sigh escaped his mouth and he walked forward again until he was in front of her again.
"C.C., I've known you for over 10 years now. You're my wife. You'll never hurt our daughter," Lelouch told her. "You were so excited to have her before she was born, even if that could've happened."
She could've died because it was risky for her to give birth, but she had wanted to have her no matter what.
"I know, but…"
"But what?"
"What if she cries?"
"That doesn't mean she'll hate you."
"Lelouch… Maybe another time…"
"And that'll be?" he questioned.
C.C. looked down at her hands nervously before looking back up. She shrugged unsurely. "I don't know…?"
That caused Lelouch to chuckle. He beckoned for her to sit down in the rocking chair near the crib and she did so. "Hold out your hands," Lelouch commanded.
C.C. did as he said, and though her hands were shaking from being extremely nervous, she couldn't help but feel a little excited at holding her own baby without being sick.
Lelouch placed Marie slowly in her hands. "Now put your left hand on the back of her head, so she can rest it there and hold her back with the other hand."
C.C. did as she was told, Lelouch helping her with any awkwardness she held. He bent down and smiled up at her. "See, now you're holding Marie."
"I am," she whispered.
The green haired woman looked down at the baby, who was comfortably lying her head against her chest. Her golden eyes were wondering until they turned on C.C. She froze in her seat, feeling like it would be the end of the world if her daughter cried in her hands, hit instead, the infant gave her something that was a smile of some sorts and suddenly, C.C. felt warmth spread throughout her body.
She hesitantly held out a finger and to her surprise, the baby grabbed it, causing C.C. to feel overwhelmed with emotion. Tears fell down her face and Lelouch rubbed her am in comfort.
"I knew you could do it," Lelouch said.
"I-I'm sorry about before," she said through her cries. "I was just so worried a-about hurting her and that she m-might not like me because I-"
"Hey," Lelouch called softly, cutting C.C. off in the middle of her sentence. He gave her a small smile. "It's okay."
Despite the wet tears still falling down her face, she returned his smile with a small one of her own before looking back down at Marie.
"Hey there, Marie," C.C. whispered. "We haven't exactly gotten to formally meet yet, but I'm your mother."
She didn't expect anything from the three month old, but just looking at her pretty hair, her pretty eyes, and just the presence of her altogether in her arms made C.C. feel wanted by her daughter.
Unexpectedly though, her husband's phone started blasting a very loud j-rock sound and it startled her daughter, causing the infant to cry. That caused a little panic to rise up in C.C. as her spouse cursed under his breath. "Lelouch-"
"It's okay," he said over the cries to C.C. as he hurriedly grabbed his phone and turned the music off. "Rock her gently. She likes that."
She did as he said, heart pounding in nervousness, but as C.C. rocked back and forth in the chair gently, Marie quieted down just as Lelouch had said and C.C. felt proud of herself.
Lelouch gave her a kiss on the forehead. "See… It's easy…" he mumbled into her hair. He then separated himself from her. "Excuse me for a moment."
The door closed gently behind Lelouch, but C.C. didn't miss her husband's "What the hell, Suzaku?!" from in the distance and she chuckled lightly.
She knew her husband didn't enjoy loud music, so she'd have to ask him about that later, but for now, she wanted to enjoy holding her daughter in her arms.
Even if she still had a long way to go with her daughter, the first step was contact, and as long as she continued to show her daughter that she would love and nourish her just as her father did, then she could learn to be the best mother.
She hoped that they'd become fond of one another.
"I… I love you, Marie."
That's it! I hope you enjoyed! This is technically supposed to be a series because I found other one shot drabbles I wrote connected to this, but I'm not working on any new full stories right now since I need to finish A Fashion Disaster and Fair Play... So we'll see where this goes. Maybe it'll get an update once in a while...
Read and Review!