A/N: New little batch of text messages! I hope at least one person understands the WoW one :p Hope you enjoy and I'll see you guys for the next update!
Max: Chlo
Max: I have a really important question for you.
Chloe: what is it sweet child o mine
Max: Will you...
Max: Be my...
Max: Valentine?
Max: :*
Chloe: fuck u max god dammit
Max: Wow, honestly not the response I was hoping for?
Chloe: i have glue on my fingers bc i was makin you a cute card
Chloe: to ask
Max: Oh, I'm sorry! You can definitely still give it to me.
Chloe: just gonna drink the rest of the glue
Max: Chloe!
Chloe: YEAH ILL BE YOUR VALENTINE
Warren: So...Kate and Victoria are a thing now?
Max: Yes but I think it's kind of on the low. You're the only person they said I could tell.
Warren: Wow...
Warren: It's kind of hard to wrap my head around it.
Max: Tell me about it. I've seen them kiss! Three times!
Warren: THREE!?
Chloe: will u go with me to my dentist appt?
Chloe: i always get nervous
Max: Of course babe
Chloe: thank you
Chloe: something about getting stabbed in the mouth over&over just puts me off
Max: And they're always so condescending. "You should floss more."
Max: Maybe YOU should floss more, dentist man.
Chloe: mhm u tell em
Taylor: what you up to
Max: Hey! Waiting for Chloe to get back for food. Late dinner tonight :(
Max: What about you?
Taylor: idk I've been watching these youtube videos where people put stuff in lava
Max: That sounds kind of awesome?
Taylor: It is but have you ever really seen lava?
Taylor: it looks delicious
Max: I don't think your digestive tract would appreciate eating lava
Taylor: Don't crush my dreams plz
Max: I think as your friend, I'm gonna have to crush this one
Chloe: blackwell is real eerie without any students
Chloe: like just u, me, kate, vic, samuel
Chloe: that monster man that looks up thru the shower drain
Max: Dude I am in the bathroom right now
Chloe: oh tell him i said sup
Victoria: Has Kate said anything?
Max: For the millionth time, no. She has not 'burst into divine flames of regret.'
Victoria: That can happen! I've read about it!
Max: You know, if you want this to really become a relationship, you'll have to talk to her about this stuff.
Victoria: It makes me so mad that you're actually the best source of information with this
Max: Trust me, it's super weird for me too.
Chloe: i cant wait until mom and david go on their trip
Chloe: have a whole house to ourselves!
Chloe: ILL NEVER WEAR PANTS
Max: You BARELY wear them anyway.
Max: Every single morning it's like I have to explain why you need to.
Chloe: dont like em
Max: Hey Evan! Are you excited for the new photography teacher?
Evan: She seems okay. Her early work is far better than anything she's done the past few years but I suppose every artist needs to change their style at some point. It's just a shame she didn't keep up with the industrial focus as I find her shots in that genre to be quite fascinating. Her portrait skills are rather weak, though I do think her last few have a noticeable improvement over her initial foray into that space.
Max: Right...
Chloe: hey guess what my favorite flower is
Max: I feel like I should know this :/
Chloe: cauliflower
Max: Wut?
Chloe: cuz they grow in a caulfield
Max: Insert groan here
Chloe: later
Dana: You're coming to the game right?
Max: Yeah, I'll be there. Only cuz you asked so nicely.
Dana: Yay! It'll be fun promise!
Dana: I'm nervous about our new cheer so it makes me feel better to know you'll be there
Max: I'm sure you'll do great!
Max: Bigfoot pride and all that
Dana: Don't be too enthused
Chloe: the one downside to still using cds is they start skipping
Chloe: nothing like being in the groove and and and and and and and andandandnandnansdndnsnd
Max: That's what you get for being a caveman
Courtney: Sorry I totally derped and did vertical video but
Courtney: thats my little bro opening his presents! Isn't he precious?
Max: Oh my god, so cute! Look at that smile!
Max: Who is the guy with his belly hanging out on the couch?
Courtney: UGH UNCLE ARNOLD
Max: I like his mustache
Max: These glow in the dark guitar picks are so cool omg
Chloe: did you literally wait until i had to work to play?
Chloe: i wanna hear!
Max: Soon! Promise, soon.
Chloe: fiiiiiiiine
Chloe: picture me sighing real long and big
Chloe: fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
Max: I got it, Chlo.
Chloe: how did u even make it dark enough to glow
Max: I didn't, I just keep stopping and cupping it in my hands to peek.
Chloe: your such an adorable weirdo
Kate: Max! What are you up to?
Max: Pretty sleepy. Chloe and I were about to head to bed.
Max: What's up? You okay?
Kate: Yeah, I'm okay! :) Just a little wired so I can't sleep.
Kate: Are you and Chloe going to do sex?
Max: GOODNIGHT
Max: I found your toothbrush on the floor
Chloe: yea in case the carpet wanted to get sparkly white
Max: …
Max: I got you a new one.
Chloe: thx gorgeous
Warren: Max you need to CONTROL YOUR GIRLFRIEND
Max: Oh god, what is she doing now?
Warren: She has fallen off of Teldrassil THREE. TIMES.
Warren: I'M LOSING MY MIND
Max: How is that possi...dude, we're HORDE? How!?
Warren: FOUR FUCK IM GOING TO DIE
Chloe: hey whats that song you keep playing when we make out
Max: Which one? You know I made a whole playlist right?
Max: See, I don't know if that was a weird thing to admit
Chloe: how many songs is it?
Max: I'll check
Max: 34
Chloe: WOW
Max: You know what's fucked up
Max: We've made it through the whole thing three times
Max: So do you and Warren have anything fun planned for Valentine's Day?
Brooke: If we do, I'm not aware of it yet. Maybe he's planning something.
Max: Totally! You know Warren, always on the ball. Always thinkin with that big brain.
Brooke: I know, he's so cute. Now I'm excited to see what he comes up with.
Max: Yeah haha
Max: Wanna go on a date tonight?
Chloe: fuck yes! what do you wanna do?
Max: Let's see a movie! I've been wanting to see Her or the new Paranormal Activity
Chloe: is her the one where he fucks his iphone?
Max: You have such a talent for making things sound unappealing
Chloe: so thats a yes then
Chloe: iphone sex or moving furniture 4
Chloe: lets see both
Max: Okay! If I get scared will you hold me?
Chloe: well see
Warren: Alright guys, serious talk here
Max: Lay it on me.
Chloe: no dont thats my thing
Chloe: whats up warbin
Warren: What color lightsaber would you have?
Max: Oh of course it's not actually serious.
Max: I should know better with all of you by now.
Warren: Excuse me? I've never been more serious about anything.
Chloe: i believe that
Chloe: i guess blue
Max: I want mine to change colors.
Victoria: That's not how they work.
Chloe: lol the fuck did u come from
Max: CHLOE
Max: CHLOE I HAVE CALLED YOU FOUR TIMES
Max: ANSWER
Chloe: woah woah whats going on? i cant answer right now
Chloe: are u okay? i can duck out real quick if you need me to
Max: You left your fucking bowl on the nightstand and GUESS WHO DROPPED BY FOR A CHAT
Chloe: if u say david i will literally throw up right now
Max: Yes of course fucking David!
Chloe: was he mad? disappointed?
Max: He didn't say anything. He just picked it up and looked at it on his way out the door.
Max: I froze, I didn't know what to say! I'm sorry!
Chloe: i mean he has to know i smoke right
Max: On Blackwell property?!
Chloe: NOT HELPING NOT HELPING
Kate: Is it okay if I give Abby your number?
Kate: She thinks you're so cool. I'm a little jealous lol
Max: Yeah of course! And don't be jealous.
Max: She's still young. I used to think a lot of stuff was cool when I was her age.
Max: Now I just cringe. David Archuleta? What was I thinking
Kate: I don't know who that is but I'm sure they're very nice.
Kate: And you ARE cool! Stop being mean to yourself!
Chloe: ampycakm
Max: What babe?
Chloe: fructose badger
Max: WAT BABE?
Chloe: lol sry, phone going crazy in my pocket
Chloe: lmao what is a fructose badger
Max: Tay holy shit I am watching these videos with Chloe
Max: They put a soda can in it and it crinkled up but also the soda got hot
Taylor: I cant tell if you're making fun of me or not
Max: Omg no I am completely enraptured
Max: We should make it a group activity
Taylor: I think I've seen them all though
Max: Do you understand how big youtube is?
Taylor: do YOU understand how bored I was
Max: I keep thinking how weird it's going to be when school starts back up
Max: I'm developing a dependency on waking up next to you
Chloe: you are so fucking cute
Max: I've become a Chloe junkie
Max: I'll be showing up outside your house at 3am in a cold sweat like 'one more'
Chloe: ill be your dealer any day
Chloe: can we not use this metaphor?
Max: Yeah it got kind of weird huh
Dad: Did you get the pics?
Max: Yes! I'm sure Mom will love them.
Max: It's so cute how you guys still go all out for Valentine's Day
Max: Gives me something to aspire to
Dad: Seeing the way you look at Chloe, I don't think you'll have much of a problem.
Max: Really?
Dad: Trust me. I'm wise.
Max: That's true.
Max: Well, since you're so wise I'm sure you'll remember to take the price tag off the earrings.
Dad: Oops. Good catch!
Max: Kate and Victoria just held hands and I fucking shrieked
Chloe: ur going to scare them off, they're like skittish animals
Max: I don't care, do you have any idea how long we've had to wait for this!?
Chloe: good point. call me and put me on speaker so i can shriek too.
Max: Hey. I KNOW how you are so just thought I'd give a fair warning.
Max: Brooke definitely thinks you have an elaborate plan for Valentine's Day.
Warren: Wait what? Why does she think that?
Max: I don't know, man. You know how girls are.
Warren: What did you do
Max: I'm hurt you'd assume I had anything to do with it
Max: Also I asked if you guys had plans
Warren: Oh man
Max: And then instead of smoothly backing out I doubled down and told her you did
Warren: OH MAN
Max: So I'm sorry but also start planning.
Warren: Crap dude. Fine...
Warren: When is it?
Max: I can only help so much
Chloe: frank like
Chloe: "oh golly chloe i aint so smart at the vidya games"
Chloe: just want his help figuring out this puzzle its like hes braindead
Max: He doesn't even sound like that
Chloe: "he dont even sound like that nope, gosh he dont"
Max: You get so bitter when Zelda treats you poorly
Chloe: fuckin elf music PUSH THE BLOCK
Courtney: Btw how's the hair?
Max: It's kind of faded already but now it looks kind of badass.
Courtney: Aw, didn't last very long. Let me know if you want me to touch it up!
Max: Are you officially my hair stylist now?
Courtney: Mhm
Courtney: And if you cheat on me with another barber I will kill them
Max: You went from zero to Sweeney Todd so fast
Chloe: we need a new cook at the two whales whaaaat the fuck
Max: You should train so then you can make me foods!
Chloe: o im sorry princess is my cereal pouring game too weak for you
Max: You do spill it a lot
Chloe: wow i feel so attacked rn
Dana: Maxxxxxxx I need a partner for Trevor's V-Day gift!
Max: Please elaborate
Dana: rofl
Dana: No, you perv.
Dana: I want to make him something homemade and thought it'd be a fun activity for you and I
Dana: Chloe will like it toooooooo
Max: Haha, sure Dana. I'll help any way I can.
Dana: YES
Dana: No takebacks!
Max: I think we're having a back to school party
Max: Not actually thrown by the school, just like our friends
Chloe: im not going back to school though
Max: Oh well yeah, you're not invited. I was just telling you.
Chloe: fine ill just crash it then
Max: Soooo are you guys girlfriends now?
Victoria: What? I don't know!
Victoria: Are we!? What have you heard?
Max: Holy shit
Max: Will you calm down?
Victoria: I MADE THE RELIGIOUS GIRL GAY
Victoria: HOW CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW STRESSFUL THIS IS
Max: I just had the craziest flashback
Max: Do you remember when we made that slingshot and you shot my dad with that penny?
Max: The perfect red circle it left on his cheek. I'm laughing so hard.
Chloe: yea! omg lol
Chloe: wait
Chloe: he never gave it back
Max: He did not.
Victoria: So I'm supposed to be working on this paper
Max: Ew, you got homework? For what class?
Chloe: dont be silly, vic doesnt have any class
Victoria: Ignoring you.
Victoria: Brit Lit, Max.
Kate: I already finished mine, I can help you if you want.
Chloe: hi kate how are you
Max: That suuuucks. I didn't get any assignments.
Kate: I'm hella ok Chloe, how are you?
Victoria: Katie please yes help
Chloe: im good!
Chloe: help your gf kate
Victoria: Ignoring you.
Kate: I will :)
Chloe: FUCKING BOOB SWEAT ON MY HANDS NO
Max: You have boob sweat on your hands that isn't mine?
Max: What sort of salacious behavior are you up to?
Chloe: no its fuckin
Chloe: the girls that stick their money in their bras
Chloe: THERE IS SNOW ON THE GROUND WHY IS THE MONEY DAMP
Max: Please wash your hands
Max: When tf are you coming back bro?
Max: BRO
Max: :(
Warren: When break is over?
Warren: Why are you being aggressive at me?
Max: I MISS YOU BRO
Max: D:
Warren: I'm picturing you flexing in a tank top in front of a mirror with tub of protein powder under your arm.
Max: Who says I'm not
Chloe: hey im bored and your taking a shower and told me i couldnt come with
Chloe: horrible gf
Chloe: o nice you left your phone here of course
Max: your right chloe im a horrible gf!
Chloe: i know max but maybe next time youll let me tag along
Max: absolutely i dont know what came over me
Chloe: oh i know what will come over you heheh
Chloe: okay im dirty texting myself this is getting really weird
Max: it is
Chloe: oh god please still love me after you read these
Frank: Hey this is out of nowhere but how is Kate doing?
Frank: been thinking about her a lot lately.
Max: She's...very good, actually.
Frank: Really? that's great. She got everything sorted with her folks?
Max: No...
Max: That part just got way more complicated
Max: Remember how her resolution was to 'figure herself out'?
Frank: yea...
Max: I think she may have.
Max: I assume you will be compensating me for the film you used last night.
Chloe: i think u mean thanks for the sexycute pics chloe theyre the best ive ever seen?
Max: No, if you look closely at your phone you will see that those sentences are very different.
Chloe: wait r you serious? im sorry i can totally pay you back
Max: You better.
Chloe: how much is film again? i can try to find some after work
Max: I never said anything about money ;)
Chloe: ok
Chloe: u know i appreciate the cut of your jib
Chloe: but you just had me so fkin scared i upset u
Max: Aw, I'm sorry babe.
Max: I'll "pay" you back ;D
Chloe: YOU better
Taylor: Vic keeps mentioning this big thing she has to tell us but will only do it in person
Taylor: IT IS STRESSING ME OUT
Taylor: lol
Max: Really? I wonder what it is.
Taylor: uh huh pretend like you dont know
Max: So how about that snow it sure is everywhere
Taylor: It is
Taylor: just like your liessssss
Max: You know what's terrible?
Chloe: idk
Chloe: giant crabs with swords
Max: Uhh?
Max: I was going to say being without you but
Chloe: the crabs are pretty terrible
Max: They REALLY are
Chloe: and it sucks because they already have sword like hands to being with
Max: Hands?
Chloe: grabby crab hands yeah
Max: Hey
Max: Guess who me and Chloe just ran into at the grocery store
Kate: Who was it? Was it someone famous?
Max: Nope.
Max: Your mom.
Kate: Oh my gosh! Did she say anything rude to you?
Kate: I'll be so mad!
Max: She didn't buuuut...Chloe may have kissed me very dramatically in front of her.
Max: I'm sorry. She feels terrible about it. We know we shouldn't make this harder than it already is.
Kate: No...it's ok Max.
Kate: Maybe seeing love will actually give her some of her own.
Max: WOAH
Max: I am SO blaming Victoria's influence on that
Chloe: david caught me for a 'talk' when i stopped at home
Max: Uh oh. How'd it go?
Chloe: sigh. good and bad?
Chloe: he wasnt mad about the weed but he did ask where i got it
Max: Oh no...
Chloe: i didnt want to lie to him but now hes even more against hanging with frank
Max: I guess that makes sense but...you know. I wish he could just know that Frank is cool.
Chloe: yea...have to figure out how to convince him
Trevor: theres a full moon tonight
Max: Okay... Thanks Trevor? Haha you stoned?
Trevor: lol no in case u wanted to take pics of it
Max: Aw, I got you. I'll try and take one for you.
Trevor: I do that a lot now
Trevor: ill see something and be like bet max could take a sweet shot of that
Max: That's awesome! It's nice to be able to look at things from a new perspective.
Max: I fell down the YouTube rabbit hole and now I'm watching conspiracy videos about Elvis still being alive.
Max: They make some compelling arguments.
Chloe: well yea i mean hes hiding in the ice wall at the edge of the earth
Chloe: since its flat
Max: He's also a lizard person, that's why his hips move so snakelike
Chloe: cue the x files theme
Max: That song still creeps me out
Alyssa: Hey Max! Sorry I've been MIA all break. How was your holidays?
Max: Really nice! How about you? Looking forward to school starting back up?
Alyssa: Yep.
Alyssa: Just like I look forward to a root canal.
Max: So...pumped, then?
Alyssa: Ecstatic.
Chloe: call me asap something crazy just happened
Max: Okay give me five minutes. Are you okay?
Chloe: yea just...call me.
Max: Had so much fun last night! I'm glad you came out with us!
Juliet: Me too! I don't know why I don't do it more often.
Juliet: And that boy was pretty cute, huh? Do you know what his name was?
Max: Romeo
Juliet: lol
Juliet: But really, do you know it?
Max: No, seriously, it was Romeo.
Max: That's why were were laughing so hard and biting our thumbs.
Juliet: EW NO TELL ME YOU ARE LYING
Max: I am not.
Juliet: I want to die
Max: Shh no spoilers!
Chloe: good morning! sorry i didnt wake u up
Chloe: you just looked so fuckin cute, i couldnt do it
Max: I was so sleepy!
Chloe: i figured, you started growling when i started to move around
Max: Oh, I had a dream about wrestling a sumo wrestler
Max: I guess I was pretty into it?
Chloe: did you win?
Max: We called a truce and had tea instead
Abigail: Hi Max, Kate gave me your number. Is that alright?
Max: Hey Abby! Yeah, it's alright! How are you?
Abigail: I'm okay. Things are still kind of weird at home but I think they're getting better.
Max: That's good. Sorry again for...that. How is the boy situation going?
Abigail: I don't like him anymore, he makes weird noises when he eats
Abigail: Me and Cassie are friends again tho
Max: Lol that's good. Told you it'd sort itself out.
Max: I can't get over this record player
Max: Now I know how protective mothers feel with newborn babies
Chloe: next thing your gonna tell me u named it
Max: Lol that'd be so weird. Who would do that?
Chloe: ...what did u name it?
Max: Samson.
Victoria: Let's do something I'm bored
Max: Meeeh okay what
Victoria: Idk what are you in the mood for?
Max: There's that weird game closet in the common room
Max: Maybe there's something fun in there?
Victoria: Ew no I'm scared of that closet
Max: I kind of thought you had recently dealt with any issues concerning closets
Victoria: Max
Victoria: I hate you
Max: You loooove meeee
Chloe: would u still love me if i was a slime monster
Max: What in THE hell
Chloe: this is important to me
Max: Yes, I would.
Max: Seriously though what
Chloe: thanks max i knew you would
Max: Chloe wait
Max: So...hanging out with Victoria tonight huh?
Kate: Yeah, I think it's clear we need to talk about some things.
Max: Definitely, yeah.
Max: So if you need me or Chloe you can just shoot us a text, okay?
Kate: Okay, thank you! We might watch a movie or something, I'll let you know!
Max: Right. But if you need us for anything else
Kate: Like what? I don't think I understand
Max: Basically we'll rip Victoria's hair out and feed it to her if she upsets you
Kate: Oh! That's very scary. Please don't do that.
Kate: I...really like her hair.
Max: I've been thinking about this whole roadtrip with the RV thing.
Chloe: oh?
Max: Yeah. Maybe this summer we can try and convince Frank to take us somewhere?
Chloe: omg yes! yes yes yes lets go...
Chloe: lets go to kentucky!
Max: Why Kentucky?
Chloe: idk it was the first place that came to my mind lets go there!
Justin: angry max
Max: Angry Max, huh?
Justin: yea gotta be careful with copyright stuff you kno
Max: Eh, I can break it in. How's tricks?
Justin: good u know i mean its hard with the snow but
Max: Lol it just means what's up, Justin. How are you?
Justin: does it really
Justin: can i use that?
Max: Of course, why wouldn't you be able to?
Justin: copyright stuff man gotta be careful
Chloe: hey cutie it looks like its going to storm pretty hard so text me if u need to
Chloe: in case it gets a little scary
Max: Thanks Chlo. You're the best.
Chloe: second to you
Max: Cavities
Warren: Fine, what are YOU doing for Chloe?
Warren: Should I tell her you're going to pluck stars from the sky and gift wrap them for her?
Max: I already did that for Christmas
Max: But! I do have some stuff planned, but I'm still not sure how it'll go yet because I'm kind of nervous.
Warren: Remember when you were nervous about Christmas and then you nailed it? Don't be nervous.
Max: Thanks, dude. You're always there for motivational support.
Warren: Of course.
Warren: Now tell me what the fuck to do for Brooke
Chloe: i cant stop seeing it
Chloe: it just plays over and over
Chloe: i think im losing it
Max: Chloe, I'm so sorry. Please come over as soon as you can. We can talk about it. I can help.
Max: PLEASE
Chloe: i think i forgot what his voice sounded like