As Chloe tipped the bottle to her lips, her eyes crept across the room. She had to wonder if Joyce's 'no parties' comment was simply an obligatory parental joke or something meant with sincerity. Either way, she wasn't too worried about having to explain herself. It wasn't like she was throwing a rager that would end up with puddles of puke and holes in the walls. At least...it shouldn't.
Wonder what kind of parties Mom used to hang out at. Dad used to have a leather jacket, so probably pretty hardcore. Pfft. I bet this one's cooler.
"Oh, okay dude," Chloe said with a little giggle, swishing her beer in the direction of the TV, "I fucking told you Papa John's had the hookup for the low." She arched her eyebrows and looked at Warren expectantly.
"I didn't...not believe you," he chuckled from beside her on the couch, cramming his hands against his face. "I was just saying if we were also getting wings, we had better options for price and everything." He jostled her with his shoulder. "Stop looking at me like that!"
Shit man, since we're all throwing in, we can get decadent as fuck. Tanks of lobsters! Tanks driven by lobsters!
"Look how yummy it looks on there," Max said dreamily, safely snuggled within Chloe's arm on the other side of the couch, "I want to be a food photographer. Like how they make McDonald's look amazing?"
"Yeah, seriously," Warren said, "how do they do that? Photoshop? The real food always looks like someone just stomped on the commercial version."
"I think that's just called Instagram, Max," Chloe snickered. She nodded to Dana as the girl exited the kitchen, each hand holding a bottle by its neck. "You'd probably know, Miss Model."
In some ways, she weirdly reminds me of Rachel. I wonder if they were friends?
"She's hitting on me again," Dana snarked at Max, plopping down on the floor next to Trevor. She looked up in thought as she handed him a beer. "Come to think of it, I think most of my posts are food. ...what the hell?"
"Called it!" Chloe held her hand out as if accepting Dana's words. She peered through the glass of the backdoor and smirked. "Yo, look at Justin," she said in a playful hush, "Taylor's been laughing for like a minute straight."
"Is there..." Max began to speak, then made it a point to aim her question at Dana specifically, "is there a limit on how many people in one social circle should become involved?"
"If there is, we crossed that line a long time ago," Dana laughed.
"Justin pre-gamed, so he's pretty blazed. She's probably just laughing at him being an idiot," Trevor added with his own dose of laughter.
Of course he is, buuuut at least they're not doing it here. We JUST got the brownie stench out. So many spray cans and candles...
"Besides," Dana continued, looking at Max, "you're the one smushing us all into one clusterfuck." She smiled at Warren. "Like, we've never hung out with you before! I get to see what all the Warren fuss is about."
"I, uh, don't think there's a fuss," he responded quietly, running a hand through his hair awkwardly.
"There's so much fuss," Max egged on, nestling herself deeper into Chloe's side. "You don't even know."
"Thought so," Dana said, pleased with herself. "Where's Brooke? You two are together, right?"
Oh, you mean Ms. Buzzkill USA?
"She has a lot of homework," he explained, then held up his hands in preemptive protest, "like, actually. It wasn't just an excuse or anything."
Yeah, whatever. We're cooler than homework. Er...obviously. That'd be sad if we weren't.
"Oh, yo," Trevor lazily gestured in Warren's direction, "you game, right? We should get down on some Mario Kart or something."
"Yeah, sure," he replied, looking down into his lap. "That'd be cool."
Hell yeah, Warren. Make those dude friends!
Chloe felt a vibration against her thigh and brought her arm over Max's head, accidentally bonking her in the process, and dug down into her pocket to retrieve her phone.
Victoria: ARE YOU THERE WEVE BEEN KNOCKING FOR LIKE 5 MINS
Victoria: omg
Victoria: OMG
She glanced around wildly, almost expecting to find Victoria glaring at her in disapproval. With a chuckle, she stood up from the couch and gave Max a nod, answering the question she hadn't yet asked. She trotted to the front door and pulled it open.
"It wasn't locked?" she said with a confused smile. Victoria pointed her thumb at Kate, directing the blame for their persistent manners. Chloe's smile grew wide and mischievous when she looked down at the girl standing between Kate and Victoria. "There's the little rebel," she said playfully.
"Um, hi Chloe," Abigail responded, struggling to position herself in a way that seemed less...frightened. "Thank you for inviting me."
Yep, that's definitely a 'first party' face if ever I've seen one.
"Hey, no problem." Chloe waved a dismissive hand. "It was your sister's idea to get you out of the house. Have some fun in a safe environment!"
...somewhat...safe environment?
"Plus since Max and Chloe are your idols now," Kate teased, nudging her sister.
"Hey, she's got good taste!" Chloe stuck out her chest with pride, then puffed out her cheeks grumpily. "Don't roll your fuckin' eyes, Victoria."
"I didn't roll anything, you narcissist," Victoria said, smiling back with endearing fierceness, "not everything's about you!" She whacked Chloe's arm softly. "By the way, Courtney said she'd be here in about an hour."
I'm way too awesome to be a narcissist, Vic.
"Okay," Chloe chuckled, turning back into the house, "but if we eat all the food before she gets here, I'll hear none of her complaints!" She pushed the door shut and nodded to the living room. "Sit wherever, grab a chair from the dining room, I don't care." As the three girls started walking down the hall, Kate gave Chloe a knowing look. Receiving the message, Chloe caught the back Abigail's sleeve. "Hey, c'mere," she whispered, shuffling backward to the staircase.
Right. Talk time.
"Did...did I do something?" Abigail asked, eyes wide with nervousness. She turned her head when the boisterous noise of welcome for Kate and Victoria came down the hall.
"No, no," Chloe laughed. She realized she was bent over in an attempt to match Abigail's height and stood up straight so as to not seem condescending. "You didn't do anything, but I wanna lay down some rules for you, okay?"
"Y-yeah, sure." She nodded.
"Okay, so," Chloe held up an index finger, "rule numero uno is no drinking and no going out back." She glanced to the side and wobbled her shoulders. "Er, how old are you?"
"Um, fourteen," she said.
That's a bit of a gray area. Then again, I'm morally colorblind, so...
"That's what I thought. Look," Chloe motioned in the direction of the living room, "if you're really itching to have some wine or something, I don't mind, but you'll have to go through your sister." Abigail shook her head feverishly at the suggestion. "Good, I was banking on that answer. Aaaand no backyard because people are smoking cigarettes. Which are gross. Riiiight?" She angled her ear at Abigail in a way that seemed to desire a response.
"Right," she agreed. Each hand was stuffed in the opposite sleeve of her sweater, anxiously twisting them around her wrists. With a warm smile, Chloe slowly pulled her hands apart, keeping them within her own once they were untangled.
"Have you ever been to a party before?" she asked.
"Birthday parties," Abigail responded. "Not like, high school parties. Drinking parties."
This is so cute.
"You freakin'?" Chloe's smile grew bigger, baring her teeth as she sat down on the steps.
"N-no, no. I'm not freaking." Something tightened in her jaw as she pulled one hand out of Chloe's grasp and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "...I am. A lot. I don't think I should be here."
"You definitely shouldn't," Chloe agreed with a grin. "Buuuut you are, so I mean..." She winced when she heard Justin shout 'fuck yeah, bro!' "If you want to leave, that's okay. But look at it this way, would Kate be here if she didn't think it was an alright time?" Abigail thought it over.
"No, I guess not," she said. "I'm really surprised... Kate's kind of a prude." Chloe let out a loud 'ha!'
Get rekt, Kate. Damn.
"Abby!" Max appeared from around the banister, a look of feigned insult on her face. "Why haven't you said hi!?"
"Oh, uh, Chloe just-" Abigail began.
"I'm just making sure she's okay," Chloe snickered, reaching through a slot in the railing to swat at Max's leg.
"Oooh, I getcha," Max said. She glanced behind her, then back at the girl. "These people are cool. We wouldn't hang out with them if they weren't, you know?"
"You hang out with Victoria," she said with a single snort of laughter. Chloe swished a hand through the air in a failed attempt at justification and looked at Max.
Got you beat.
"Victoria is fine," Max said, shaking her head at Chloe. "Despite whatever differences you two have in opinions of Lady Gaga." Abigail burst into laughter.
"Wait, did she take me seriously when I said I thought she was the devil?!" She giggled into her hands, proud of her accomplishment. It abruptly changed to a frown. "Wait, that's..." she sighed, "it was easy to believe because that's the sort of thing you expect from the Marsh family." Max rocked her head back and forth in a 'yeah, kinda' gesture. "Oh...man. People think we're freaks."
"Don't worry about that right now," Max assured. "Come on," she took Abigail by the hand, "you're going to have fun and I'll hang with you all night." Chloe added a thumbs up as she hoisted herself to her feet. "Do you want to get something to drink first?"
"Um, a soda?" Abigail responded, walking with Max into the kitchen. Chloe followed after them and was pleased to see Warren pouring himself some wine. She took two giant steps behind him and looped her arm around his neck.
"Abby, this is Warren," she said. Abigail waved shyly. "He's me and Max's baby."
"Uh...what?" Abigail asked.
"He's our..." she trailed off and looked Warren over analytically while he simply stared back in confusion. She licked her thumb and rubbed at the corner of his mouth.
"Alright!" he said, throwing his hands up and sliding under Chloe's arm. "Alright. You are getting so carried away with that bit." He pointed at Chloe. "No," he scolded. At her dramatic look of insult, he rolled his eyes and turned to Abigail. "Hi, Abby. You're Kate's little sis?"
"Yes," she replied shortly, taking the can of soda from Max.
"Very cool," he said. He brought the cup of wine to his lips, missing his mouth and spilling some on his shirt. "Less cool," he scoffed.
Been there, dude.
"See, Abby?" Max asked. "He's an awkward little thing too. You're among friends."
"I..." he sighed in defeat and held his arms out, "if it makes you feel better, yes."
"Okay," Abigail laughed, covering her mouth with her hand, "it does make me feel better."
Soda in hand, Max led Abigail out of the kitchen and into the living room. Chloe swung around the corner and made a 'psssst' noise that was loud enough to draw everyone's attention.
"Hey guys," she said, gesturing to the girl, "this is Abby. She's Kate's sister!" There was an incoherent but enthusiastic group greeting in response. "Okay so," she went down the line, pointing at each person, "Taylor, you know Vic, that one's your sister, Dana, Trevor and Justin." She flailed behind her. "Already met Warren. And you know the cute one." She tipped her head at Max, who was busy dragging a chair further into the room so she and Abigail could be next to each other. "We might have two or three more joining us later."
God, that was exhausting. We need less friends.
"Hi..." Abigail said, eyes wide as she held her hand up in a half-completed wave.
"Oh!" Chloe placed her hand on the top of Abigail's head. "Don't give her any booze or cigarettes. She's like a gremlin."
"That movie rocks," Justin said, bobbing his head in agreement.
"How old are you, Abby?" Dana asked, offering her most comforting smile. "Oh, and I don't know if Chloe told you but if you're hungry, there should be food here any minute."
"Fourteen," she responded, taking a seat next to Max, "and thanks, I am pretty hungry."
"Nothing really happened," Juliet said, popping the last bit of pizza crust into her mouth, "but I had an alright time. The movie was good."
I'm glad Jul came, she seems kind of spotty with her hangout skills.
"Wait," Taylor shook her head in disbelief, "you went on a date with someone named Romeo...on Valentine's Day?" She furrowed her brow. "I don't think that's like...okay. There's a glitch in the Matrix or something."
"I know," she said seriously. "Even if it did turn into something more, I think I'd be too embarrassed to tell people. One of us would have to change our name." She picked at the edge of her paper plate. "I mean, probably him."
"That's funny," Abigail said quietly, grinning as she listened to the recap of everyone's Valentine's Day. She turned red when she noticed Trevor looking directly at her.
"What about you, Little Kate? Break any hearts?" he asked as he leaned into Dana.
Is that just a cute nickname to try and make her feel included or did you forget her name already?
"Oh," Kate laughed gently, "she's too young f-"
"I had a Valentine!" Abigail protested, crossing her arms defiantly. Kate swiveled quickly in her direction.
"Wait, not the guy who makes noises when he eats?" Max muffled as she chewed.
"What? What guy!?" Kate directed her attention to Max.
"No, not him," Abigail assured. "It's another boy."
"That's good," Chloe laughed, "don't need anymore love triangle drama between you and...uh, what was it? Cassie?"
"Love triangle!?" Kate held a hand to her chest with a horrified expression. "Cassie!?"
"No, actually Cassie ended up with the first guy. The one with the eating!" Abigail flicked her hand casually. "Once she knew I wasn't interested, she made her move. I gave her my blessing."
"Sneaky," Max said, shaking her head with a smile. "Well, I'm glad everything ended up okay. Did you go on a date with the new guy?"
"I cannot believe my ears," Kate droned. Abigail's mouth twitched and she leaned forward.
"Are you jealous I had a Valentine and you didn't?" she asked smugly. The room immediately fell quiet, the only noise coming from Justin awkwardly clearing his throat.
Ouch.
"I, uh..." Kate glanced at Victoria, then looked down as she nervously pat her lap. "Yes, that's exactly what it is."
"I'm sorry," Abigail said, her face red as she shrank at the silence. "That was mean. I-I got carried away."
Sibling sass. Pas bien.
To the relief of everyone within a ten mile radius, there was a knock at the door.
"Food!" Dana proclaimed with forced exuberance. She jumped to her feet and turned to Chloe. "Where's the money?"
"I...think it's on the floor by the door," Chloe said, eyes angled upward as she thought. "No change, let 'em have a good tip." Dana clicked from the side of her mouth and shot a finger gun at Chloe before disappearing into the kitchen.
"So," Max looked at Taylor, "did you see that new lava video on Yo-"
"Um, Abby?" Kate interrupted. She wasn't looking at her, but rather straight ahead with something steely in her features. "Can I talk to you? I want to tell you something." Victoria's eyes bulged and she mechanically pivoted toward Kate. Abigail grew more uncomfortable when she noticed everyone else in the room was looking in any random direction that wasn't at her.
Uh...Kate?
"Um, yeah," she said. Kate smiled, but it was pulled taut into a straight line and she stood up from her chair. "I'm...I'm sorry," she repeated from earlier.
"It's okay," Kate said calmly, then turned to Max and Chloe. "Do you two mind coming with us?" she asked. They exchanged a brief look.
Here we go again.
"Yeah, of course," Chloe said, "we can talk in my room." Victoria grabbed hold of Kate's wrist and shook her head fearfully.
"No, you stay," Kate said, though it was posed as a gentle request rather than a command. Abigail's eyes narrowed as she tried to decipher what was happening.
"Come on," Max encouraged, placing her hand on Abigail's shoulder as she stood up. She motioned in the direction of the stairs and they set off. Chloe hung back for a moment.
"Jesus Christ, guys," she snickered wildly as she too reached her feet, glancing around the room with her hands on her hips. "Constructive criticism for next time: don't go so fucking quiet that it sounds like a funeral. She's probably terrified."
Seriously, she probably thinks she's walking to her death.
"I'm terrified," Victoria hissed, doubled over in her seat. Chloe rolled her eyes.
"Taylor, shove pizza in her mouth," she commanded.
"Aye, aye," Taylor replied with a salute.
Chloe hurried up the steps to meet the others, flinging herself between Kate and Max to grab the doorknob. She threw the door open in grandiose fashion.
"Sooo, this is my room," she said in a singsong voice, taking a broad step in. She turned back around to Kate and cringed. "Please don't mind the, uh, underwear and cigs and...and weed and..." She placed her hands on her waist and blew out a gust of breath. "I am seriously a dumpster."
Is that a fucking bottle of lube on the desk? Oh my fucking god.
"It's nice," Kate giggled, patting Chloe on the arm. She gestured for Max to close the door and turned to Abigail. "Abby..."
"This is really weird," she said, glancing around her in a crazed manner. "What's going on?"
"Calm down," Kate hushed, taking her sister by the hands. She led her over to the bed and sat down. "I just want to have a very honest talk with you, okay?"
"I...I guess?" Abigail looked to Max and Chloe, finding little comfort in how unsure they seemed to be.
Alright, hang on.
"Okay, wait," Chloe said, waving her hands. "Just...just to be clear, you're going to tell her?" Kate nodded and Chloe took a step forward. "Tell her," she stressed, "the...thing?"
"Tell me what?" Abigail was bunching up the ends of her sleeves in her palms.
"You know Victoria," Kate said, not bothering to phrase it as a question. Abigail nodded. "See, um," she thought it over and sighed, "the thing is, there was another reason why Mom's freakout upset me so much." Instinctively, Abigail glanced at Max and Chloe, the corner of her mouth twitching with discomfort. "Because...because, not only was she disrespecting my best friends and also disrespecting my...uh, situation, but because I knew for sure that she might no longer accept me for who I am."
"Who you...are?" Abigail asked. "What does this have to do with Victo-" There was a glimmer of recognition in her eyes and she started mouthing words to herself, her face contorting in thought.
"I did have a Valentine," Kate said, dragging each word out with purpose.
"You...did..." Abigail's eyes spiraled around her head in an attempt to connect dots. "I don't think I understand..."
"I...I kind of think you do," Kate replied with a small smile. "Victoria and I are dating."
I've seen this movie before.
"Why?" Abigail asked, scuttling away from Kate. "You're dating? Like how Max and Chloe are dating?" There was a visible sting of pain in Kate's expression as her sister moved away.
Ah fuck. Not the movie I thought it was.
"Yes, like they're dating," Kate said, her tone resolute and slightly barbed as she gestured to the two girls. "I wanted to tell you because..."
"Why...why her?" she asked, irritation creeping into her voice.
"Abby," Kate reached out for her, her shoulders slacking in relief when Abigail didn't pull away, "I know it's hard to understand with the things we've been taught growing up but..."
"No," Abigail shook her head, "I mean why her? Specifically? She seems so...not like you. She seems mean!" Now Kate was the one who recoiled, cocking her head curiously.
"Waaaait," Max elongated the word, "are you...being protective of her?" She glanced at Chloe, flashing an amused look.
Nevermind, haven't seen this one yet.
"Well, yeah, I mean..." A look of horror registered on Abigail's face when she noticed Kate crying. "I'm sorry! What did I do?"
"I was so worried," Kate said, brushing her knuckle below her eye. "I didn't know how you'd react."
"Kate..." Abigail stared down at her lap, clutching at her pants, "you said...you said wanted to kill yourself..." She sniffled, then shrugged and looked away. "I mean, unlike Mom, I just want you to be happy." Kate showed a brief look of regret, then nodded in understanding. "It's kind of shitty to hear that about your own sister, you know?"
Oh damn, Abby bustin' out the swear words.
"I'm sorry." Kate scooted closer to her sister and wrapped both arms around her. "I know. I wish you didn't hear that."
"Have you ever wondered why I think they're so cool?" Abigail gestured to Max and Chloe. "You said they helped save you."
Oh woah, that's heavy. Hey, wait...
"But...we're also just cool in a normal way, right?" Chloe asked, pointing at her with both hands.
"Yes," she chuckled. She sighed reached around Kate's arm to take her glasses off. "Victoria helped too?"
"Very much," Kate confirmed. "I really like her, Abby." The girl narrowed her eyes at Max and Chloe, seeking their input.
"She's cool," Max assured.
"They're disgustingly cute," Chloe added. "Seriously, it's fucking awful." She crossed her arms and looked away as if disinterested. "I hate it a lot."
"Fine." Abigail leaned into Kate's embrace. "But if she hurts you..."
"Don't even worry," Chloe said, growing a wolfish smile as she punched her palm, "I will beat her up."
"Oh, stop," Kate snickered. There was a secret nod exchanged between Abigail and Chloe.
I gotchoo, girl. We'll wage war.
"Thanks for, uh, telling me," Abigail said. "After Mom and everything..."
"I wanted you to know. But you are the only one so far. Dad doesn't know either." She broke the hug and let go of a tense breath. "But I trust you."
"Dad's been trying really hard," Abigail mused. "He's even asked me if anyone at my school is gay and what I thought about it." She laughed. "It's kind of awkward, like he's trying to be hip?"
"Dad Marsh is cool," Chloe said. "He bought us dinner." She wrapped an arm around Max's shoulders. "On the topic of Victoria, you should remember that the girl smashed her fucking hand to literal pieces for your sister."
"Oh jeez, yeah," Abigail said. She giggled again. "You know...this doesn't really help Mom's whole 'you can catch gay' thing. You're kinda proving her right."
"Yep, we're like the flu," Max laughed. "One minute you've got a fever and the next you're barfing rainbows."
Huh. Would that taste like Skittles?
"Haven't had that symptom yet." Kate smiled. She stood up from the bed, helping her sister up after her. "Thank you again. I love you, Sis."
D'aww.
"Love you too," Abigail replied, showing a bit of embarrassment that such a moment was taking place in front of Max and Chloe. She put her glasses back on and shook her head. "High school parties are so hard." She glanced to the side in thought. "Can I...have some wine?" Kate grinned and pulled her into a hug.
"Absolutely not," she said.
"Smoke?" Justin asked, approaching Chloe as she slid open the backdoor.
"Yeah," she said. "Come with?" He nodded and pulled his hood up, the bill of his hat sticking out from underneath. She shivered as she stepped outside. "Fuuuck, it's cold." Still adjusting to the darkness, the only thing she could initially see was an orange ember swiftly turning in her direction.
Oh, there you are.
"What the fuck just happened in there?" Victoria asked, pointing into the house with an aggravated look in her eyes.
"Kate told her," she replied casually, putting a cigarette between her lips. She patted her pocket and groaned. "Justin, give me a light."
"I got you," he said, tossing his lighter to her. She fumbled it a few times because of poor visibility and blinked hard to force an adjustment.
"But what happened!?" Victoria snarled, grabbing Chloe by the shoulder.
"Jesus, you're like a cartoon," Chloe said, peeling Victoria's hand off of her. "It's fine, dude. Calm down." She let her head roll back as she took a drag. "Abby is cool. She's not going to snitch to her parents." Then she cracked a grin. "Actually, her first thought was if you were good enough for her." Victoria's expression shifted from scared, to relieved, to incredulous.
"Good enough for her!?" She crossed her arms and glared in through the glass door. "The fuck is that supposed to mean?"
Take a stab in the dark, Vic.
"Prolly 'cause of your reputation," Justin offered with a lazy smile. "You're like, kind of aggro."
"Excuse me, who asked you?" Victoria growled. Chloe shot her a look like 'really?' and she sighed. "Okay. I know. I have a hard enough time believing I actually am good enough for her, even if I do really think I've changed."
"You have changed, I promise. But I don't think that feeling's going to go away," Chloe said, jauntily strolling over to the swing set. "I still don't think I'm good enough for Max and I'd bet you anything she'd say the opposite. Kind of what happens when you love someone." She sat down on the swing. "Just go with the flow."
I'm way too big for this thing, my ass is almost touching the ground.
"It's...really hard to chill when I have to worry about all of the shit attached to this," Victoria admitted. "She keeps pulling these stunts like that dinner with her dad and now telling her sister without even warning me beforehand. I'm...I'm really glad she feels comfortable enough to do those things but it's really fucking stressful."
That's actually pretty fair.
"Have you talked to her about it?" Justin asked, giving Chloe a little push and sending her forward on the swing. She looked over her shoulder at him in amused surprise.
"No," Victoria muttered. "I haven't. I know I should."
"You need to be honest with her," Chloe added. "It's not going to work if you keep that bottled up. As fun as lying can be, you just have to take that step and be honest."
"I know," she said, "but I'm so scared that one wrong move is going to ruin everything. The whole thing is so fucking weird, I don't want to break the spell."
"Well, yeah but," Justin pushed Chloe a bit harder, "what if that wrong move is not telling her?" Victoria perked an eyebrow and stared at him curiously.
"That's a...good point," she said.
"That was surprisingly well put," Chloe chuckled. "Oh, wait." She held the lighter over her shoulder for him to take. "Don't want to steal your lighter."
"I don't even think it's mine," he laughed. "But yeah, you should talk it out with Kate. Just let her know you want to be, I don't know, included in her decisions."
Check you the fuck out.
"You're not high anymore, are you?" Chloe asked with a wide smile.
"Nah," he said, "but I do have a decent buzz going from the beer." He pushed her again, this time with both hands. "Oh, hey. Trev said something about hanging out with Warren. He's cool?"
"Yeah man," Chloe replied, straightening her legs out to get higher into the air. "He's a bit of a nerd but he's a good dude. I bet he'd even help you with some of your grades if you asked, he's really smart." She planted her feet on the ground, jerking the swing to a stop. "It's so weird that you guys are all in school still."
Ergh, weird feels.
"Do you miss it?" Victoria asked.
"Er...no, I guess." Chloe twisted left and right in the swing. "But I regret bailing. It kind of sucks that some people just assume I'm stupid because of it. I just had a lot going on." She snickered. "I get on Max's case about it a lot."
"Max will be fine," Victoria said. "She really is talented with that camera of hers. That's partly why I used to be so jealous."
I know she will. I have so much faith in her.
"Yeah," Justin laughed, "one time she took this pic of Trevor right after he rocked himself in the knob. It was sick."
"Ha! No way!" Chloe spun around and stared at him. "Holy fuck, I so wish I saw that." The chill of winter night glided across her neck and she shuddered. "Kay, I'm cold and I'm starving. There's food left, right?"
"Yeah dude, you got like way too much," Justin said.
"That's straight up slander," Chloe said, hopping to her feet. "You can never have enough pizza."
"Oh, what the hell?" Chloe shook the bottle around in her hand. "I thought I just got a new one. Did you drink some?"
"Nope," Max said, "I guess you're just a thirsty bitch." She gave an open mouthed smile at Chloe's reaction. "Better be careful, you're going to end up with a beer belly."
"Start wearing sweat-stained beaters all the time," Chloe replied, planting her hands on her stomach.
"I love you but no," Max said sternly.
Wow, shut that down real quick.
"So, are you going to Blackwell next year, Abigail?" Courtney asked, having finally made it to the party a half hour earlier.
"I want to," she said, "but Kate had so much trouble convincing my parents that I'm not sure I'll be allowed."
"You should! I bet you'd be very popular." Dana's voice lilted on the word 'popular.'
"Oh, I don't think being one of the popular kids is my thing," Abigail giggled. "I'm sure they're a pain to deal with at Blackwell."
"Nah, it's not so bad," Max responded. "I mean, it was at one point but the majority of the most notorious ones are..." She stopped and looked around the room, her brows knitting together. "Wait, are we the popular kids now?"
"Well, there are the jock bros," Taylor said.
"Yeah, but," Max pointed at her, then Courtney, then Victoria. She gestured to Dana. "You guys are like, the popular people."
"Oh my god, that's really sad," Warren chuckled, covering his face.
"Yikes," Chloe laughed. "Where did you go so wrong?"
"It isn't sad!" Kate argued. "It's nice, I think everything has kind of leveled out."
"See that, Abby?" Chloe shook her hands in mock celebration. "The bar is excruciatingly low!"
As the night crept on, Chloe found herself in an increasing state of unmarred happiness. Even when she sat quietly, buried in the cushion of the couch, she felt a sense of bliss at simply listening to her friends talk. It had taken years to stop feeling like an outsider, but she was finally becoming happy to be where she was on a consistent basis. At one point, Victoria and Abigail disappeared to have what she could only assume was a talk about everything. It seemed to go well, since they both eventually returned and sat next to each other. The atmosphere slouched into a relaxing tempo as music became a focal part of the evening, allowing people to sober up in peace.
"Before this river becomes an ocean," Kate quietly sang, rocking side to side, "before you throw my heart back on the floor!"
"Should've figured you'd be into a song called Faith," Chloe teased. She rested her head against the back of the couch. "What time is it?"
"Late," Dana answered, throwing her arms behind her in a stretch. "We should probably get going. We have to be up really early." She patted Max on the foot. "Right?"
"Huh?" Max frowned at her. "Why do I have to be up early?"
"Because you promised me you'd help take down the Valentine's stuff at school," Dana said, raising an eyebrow. "You're my little décor secretary."
"I have no memory of this," Max mumbled.
"Yeah, well, you were roasted so I'm not surprised," she laughed. "Do you want to come back with us so you don't have to wake her up for a ride?" She nodded in Chloe's direction.
"I don't mind," she said. "I barely have a sleep schedule anymore."
"Nah, she's right, babe." Max pulled her into a tight hug. "You're probably going to want to get some rest, especially in case you have a hangover. Let me know when you're up and then we can hang out!" She narrowed her eyes at Dana. "Apparently I'll be wide wake."
Aw, man. Boooooo.
"Fine," she said, turning up her nose. "I guess someone doesn't want sexy times."
"Sorry, Abby," Max groaned, "and everyone else." Chloe beamed and pressed her cheek against Max's.
"You cool to drive?" she asked Dana.
"Yep, haven't had anything in a few hours." She nudged Trevor and Justin with her foot. "C'mon, boys. Train's leaving."
As to be expected, Max couldn't leave without an overly theatrical performance lamenting her separation from Chloe, but eventually she departed with Dana and the boys. This set off the chain of everyone leaving until only Kate, Victoria and Abigail remained.
"You don't need to help clean up," Chloe said with a smirk, snatching empty bottles off of the dining room table. "I got it covered if you guys are too tired."
But it is kind of nice that they stayed.
"We don't mind," Kate said, answering for everyone. She took a trash bag from Abigail and brushed several paper plates into it. Chloe stopped and stared at the young girl.
"What in the fuck does your mom think you're doing right now?" she asked. Without taking her eyes off of her, she continued to clean.
I can't believe I didn't question this earlier.
"Sleepover with Kate," she said with a slight flair of mischief.
"Which isn't a lie!" Kate was sure to add. "I mean, not technically!"
"Nice," Chloe chuckled. She gently swung the trash bag so that it collided against Victoria's leg. "Do you condone this behavior? Your girl is turning into a misfit. Only a matter of time before she's shoplifting rosary beads."
"I'll be sure to keep an eye on her," Victoria replied, pulling a giggle out of Abigail.
"And you two are all cool now?" Chloe asked.
"They better be," Kate said in an adorably threatening tone.
You couldn't intimidate a dumb little baby, Kate.
"Hey, so," Abigail dropped a bag by the back door, "how long has this been going on?"
"It's only been like five minutes," Chloe gestured to the trash. She laughed at Abigail's scowl and leaned against the table. "I know what you meant."
"A little over a month," Victoria answered without looking up.
"Really?" Abigail seemed to be thinking something over. "So, wait, you guys were together when you had dinner with Dad?" Kate bared her teeth in awkward confirmation.
Oh and what a time it was.
"I've never sweat that much," Victoria snickered. She pulled the drawstrings of the trash bag taut and tied them together. "Is that the last one?"
"Uhhh," Chloe looked around her, "sure, why not? If I find anything else, I'll get it later."
"Then our work here is done!" Kate said happily, dusting her hands off in triumph. "I guess we should head back. I think Abby and I are going to have a long talk." Her sister's eyes went wide.
"What? Why? You already told me you're making out with her," she pointed at Victoria, "what else do I need to know?!"
"I just mean in a sister hangout way?" Kate grabbed the cloth of her sweater at the shoulder and tugged her in the direction of their coats.
"It's going to be like a 7th Heaven monologue," Victoria said to Chloe matter-of-factly.
"Well, you guys have fun with all of that," Chloe said, unleashing a long yawn, "I'm fucking beat so I'm going to faceplant my pillow."
After an exchange of goodbyes, Chloe stood by the door and watched as the car took off down the street. She gave one spirited wave and headed back inside, beelining to the backdoor to collect the trash. Once they were deposited in their correct bins, she lit a cigarette and stepped further out into the center of the yard.
Man, I'm exhausted. Hosting is hard!
She stared up at the moon, glowing fiercely in the black sky.
When we had two moons did like...the tides get fucked up or anything?
"Whatever," she said, shaking her head. "Shit's above my paygrade." Expending the cigarette, she tossed it into the trash and went inside, making sure to lock the door behind her. Room by room, she flicked each light off, letting out a shrill 'fuck!' when she accidentally jammed her toe into a piece of furniture. By the time she actually got to her bed, she already felt doubly tired. Flopping down on top of it, she flung her arm to the side and patted the space where Max should be.
This sucks.
"Okay, Fake Max, you're up to bat," she bemoaned, hanging off the side of the bed and grabbing the teddy bear Max's mother had gotten her for Christmas. With an unsatisfied grunt, she tucked it under her arm and closed her eyes. "Sorry about the mean name," she said sleepily, "I should give you a real one at...some...point..."
And she fell asleep.
"Chloe, I am awesome! WE are awesome!"
. . .
"It's like that Chinese proverb," Chloe said, her breathing heavy and jangling in her chest, "a spark can start a fire that burns the entire prairie. You know, like that butterfly thing..."
"So I've heard," Max replied with a somber chuckle. She tossed the tissue into the trash can and took a deep breath, turned on her heel and headed over to the TV. Searching through the drawer for just a moment, she pulled out the case for Blade Runner and wiggled it for Chloe to see. The small smile in response was all she could do to show her readiness. Max slipped it into the DVD player, then returned to the chair beside Chloe. Cast in a blue light from the screen, they exchanged a look of muted excitement and then turned their attention back to the movie. The volume was low, the explosive bursts coming out more as a soothing rumble that eventually lulled them both to sleep.
. . .
"I...don't know how to say this but," Max's expression was pained as she spoke, "I am truly sorry about what happened to Chloe."
"Me too." William nodded sadly. "All it takes is a few minutes to change a girl's life. But she's alive. And she's been a trooper." His hand slid forward on the table, pushing away the paper he was just studying.
"She is amazing. I'm so glad you're here to help her and...be her father." Max took a moment to look over the bills on the table, trying her hardest to keep her face as neutral as it could be. She swallowed, regaining her composure.
"Max, I just hate to think of what would happen to Chloe if I wasn't here..." Despite William saying it without any sort of inflection, Max still flinched at his words. As if somewhere deep in his eyes, beyond conscious thought, he knew something was off.
The scene bubbled inside of an orange filter, mashing shapes together in different places, reconstructing a memory.
"Max, I just hate to think of what would happen to Chloe if I wasn't here..." William's voice said, slipping in from somewhere else.
Chloe took a fearful step back and pulled the trigger, her body growing rigid in horror as she watched Frank fall to the ground lifelessly.
The orange haze pulled everything apart and reassembled it.
"...what would happen to Chloe if I wasn't here..."
The train emitted an ear splitting screech as it threw on its brakes, sparks showering from the track as it tried to stop. Chloe yanked at her ankle desperately as she screamed for Max.
. . .
Max moved slowly into the empty room, looking around herself in stunned heartache. She searched through a cardboard box, finding several pair of shoes. They had been stored away, unneeded in Chloe's current condition. When she found the pair of crutches, she sat down and buried her face in her hands. Joyce and William had kept the hope of Chloe walking again, but after talking to Joyce, it seemed an impossibility. She quietly sobbed, pressing her palms against her eyes hard enough to hurt.
. . .
"...I want this time with you to be my last memory. Do you understand?" Chloe was crying, but her words were strong and resolute. Max heaved forward as if the air had been knocked out her, her eyes darting back to the photo in the album.
"Yes," she said as if just saying the words hurt, "I do."
"All you have to do is crank the IV up to eleven." Chloe spoke so calmly that it hardly seemed real. The words just did not match the voice. Max collapsed into herself, her lips scrunching together as she began to cry.
"Chloe..." Max shook her head pleadingly.
"I'll just drift asleep," Chloe assured with something like hope in her breath, "dreaming of us here together...forever."
Max stared at her for a moment, then stood up from her chair with a look of defeat. She took hold of the morphine dispenser and turned it up, the quiet cranking noise sounding ugly in her ear.
"Thank you so much." Chloe's voice had already lost some of its power. "I'm so proud of you for following your dreams. Don't forget about me..."
"Never," Max whispered.
An orange wave washed over the room, plucking apart the colors and stitching them back together.
"I'll always love you!" Chloe declared, rain soaking through her as she backed away from Max. "Now, get out of here, please! Do it before I freak!" She looked down for a moment as if steeling her nerves. "And Max Caulfield? Don't you forget about me..."
"Never," Max replied, heartbroken as she held the butterfly photograph.
The memory reversed, dragging Chloe back over to Max as it replayed just a snippet.
"I'll always love you!" she said.
The memory twisted back to Max sitting by Chloe's bedside, the morphine making its way through her system.
"I love you, Max." Her voice was barely there as her eyes drooped shut. "See you around..."
"Sooner than you think..." Max answered, falling to pieces as she watched Chloe drift to unending sleep.
. . .
"She's never leaving me!" Chloe proclaimed.
"That makes all of us," William responded as he opened the door. Chloe perked an eyebrow curiously, waited for him to leave, and walked over to Max. She was bouncing up and down enthusiastically.
"Max, you are being so fucking strange. You feel okay?" she asked.
"Chloe, I am awesome! WE are..."
The words fizzled out as the memory shifted.
"Chloe, I'm so, so sorry. I tried to make things different for you... I...I did try. I'm sorry." Max was crying, her eyes begging for forgiveness.
"I don't know exactly what you're talking about, but come on!" Chloe grabbed her by the hands. "You have made things different, like my whole life. You're my best friend. I've got you and a great family. What's to be sorry for? We'll be best friends forever! And when we grow up, we're taking over the world." With each word, Max grew more upset.
"Listen, whatever happens, I want you to be strong." Max tightened her grip on Chloe's hands. "Even if you feel like I wasn't there for you... because I will never abandon you, Chloe. I'll always have your back. Always."
Chloe shrieked as she lurched upright. It wasn't rooted in fear, but of raw anguish escaping a place she thought had been buried deep enough to never be found. She clutched her head and sobbed, the inside of her skull coated in a thick, hazy vibration. It was painful. She was unable to think, as if her mind were just too bright, blinding and preventing her from following a train of thought. When the feeling subsided, the first thought she found was one of William. She wailed again, choking as she cried and tore at her hair.
"Dad!" she croaked, digging her nails into her eyelids.
He was there! He was right fucking there!
"Fuck! Fuck!" she screamed in a ragged voice, lunging forward and grabbing a handful of her blankets. She brought a fist down forcefully against them. "Come back! Please!" The vibration pulsed again in her head and she winced, swaying to the left as she became dizzy. A chill dragged itself across her skin.
Argh, what the FUCK IS THAT!?
"...Max?" she asked, her eyes clamped shut as she pressed against her temple. At the lack of response, she ground her teeth together, tears hastening their way down her cheeks. She replayed the image of her father opening the door to greet an eighteen year old Max. The pain sparked through her once again.
Gonna be sick...
She woozily crawled to the edge of the bed, hanging over and planting a hand on the floor before working herself to her feet. Stumbling for the door, she kept one eye screwed shut to try and lessen the pressure in her head.
It hurts...
"Dad?" she said again, this time in the form of a question. Aching at the quiet that answered back, she couldn't help but feel the almost forgotten burn of both her father and Max's disappearance.
She made her way into the bathroom, smashing her hand against the light switch and, with no room for gracefulness, crashed onto her knees in front of the toilet. The lid banged against the back as she forcefully flipped it open, the sound amplified threefold in her dazed ears. She stared at the water, the vague, barely there image of herself looking back up at her. Her breathing was hectic and uneven as she waited for the uneasy feeling in her stomach to force its way up through her. Ripples expanded in the water as a few tears fell into it.
The memory of her final breaths as the overdose took her shook inside of her head. She heaved as the vibration, almost like a pulse of electricity, burst in her brain once again. Still, nothing came up. She shut her eyes and tried to focus on her breathing. There was the sound of another quiet splash from the toilet, but something about it sounded different. Heavier. Her eyes fluttered open slowly.
Something horrible pulled at her insides as she watched a red cloud spread out in the water, dark nearest the center where it was thickest. Shaking, she brought a finger below her nose gasped.
What? What...is this?
Another droplet fell. Chloe watched it numbly, entranced at the way the blood spun out into entirely unique shapes. Her breathing spiked again, audible gusts of air escaping only one nostril at an increasingly rapid pace.
"No, no, no, no," she whispered to herself, frightened at the sight. A blaze of anger swelled within her and she screamed, an enraged, frayed sound that pierced through every wall in the house. Her fingers began to ache and she realized she'd been repeatedly slamming her hand against the floor in a desperate manner. Shakily, she pushed herself to her feet and turned to the mirror, seething at the ghostly girl staring back at her.
"You..." she muttered, though it was laced with venom, "who are you?"
Everything within her, the contradictory emotions that melded into an ambiguous shape of confusion, coiled itself hotly around her lungs until there was no more space for it to contract. It exploded out of her in another, agonized scream and she lunged at the mirror, knocking everything off of the shelf below it. She gazed hard into her own eyes.
I don't understand. I...I don't fucking understand!
"Fuck," she spat, letting her forehead rest against the mirror as she trembled with tears. "Dad... Dad..." Her breath lapped at her reflection, partially burying it behind a layer of fog. After what seemed an eternity, she peeled herself off of the mirror and stood up straight. Her limbs hung from her limply as she focused on the now brownish stain on her lips. She moved to the sink and turned it on, jerking the towel from the shower rod. The cool water on her face almost stung.
But what hurt more was that she already knew she couldn't even begin to fake it to herself. She knew this wouldn't be a matter of shaking it off and locking it away as she had done for months regarding many things. She had never told Max with complete honesty how badly the dream of her killing Frank had fucked with her head. Or how she still constantly worried that Max would have a nosebleed. How meeting Sean Prescott bothered in a deeply dark way. She...had to be the strong one.
Even now, it was taking an extraordinary amount of effort to not crumple back to the floor in a puddle of tears.
"Me?" she whispered, once again looking into the mirror. She collected a bundle of her hair and pulled it straight, taking note of its length. It was jarring to see herself with short, uncolored hair after all this time. She could almost see it now looking back at her. She brought two fingers to her throat and lightly pressed, feeling it undulate as she swallowed.
I had a tube in my neck. I couldn't even move my fucking head.
She felt like a stranger in her own body, disconnected from the tiny movements she made in the mirror. Her thoughts catapulted back to her father and she recoiled away from herself, unable to bear the sight.
He was talking. He talked...
Shambling back out of the bathroom and into her room, she looked through the window. It was still dark, the moon hanging behind a small smattering of clouds. She grabbed her phone and hesitated, her lips tightening to the side as she watched it jitter with her shaky hands.
What do I do? What am I supposed to do?
Finally, she worked up the nerve to find her chat with Max and slowly typed.
Chloe: dream.
It was all she could bring herself to say. She stood there for a moment, untangling the web of thoughts expanding in her brain. With a small nod to herself, she scooped her keys off the desk and put on her jacket, marching down the steps as a crater formed in her heart.
The sun had not yet crept its way over the horizon and, truthfully, she didn't know if the cemetery had some sort of business hours she might be disregarding. She didn't really care. She stepped through the rows of tombstones, unflinching as she navigated by the dark shapes protruding from the earth. She was acutely aware of how similar her current state was to the night she dreamt of the Dark Room. She'd argue she was far more lucid now, but even she'd admit she wasn't sure she could trust that judgment. Occasionally, she placed a hand on her stomach in an attempt to soothe the restless concoction of beer and junk food jostling around inside.
Too dark. I can't find him.
"Where are you?" she whispered, flicking on the flashlight of her phone. She stumbled to the side to avoid stepping on someone's grave. "Sorry," she said, turning and aiming the light down a path between the gravestones. Plodding forward, she swept her phone left and right until a sense of familiarity struck her. Her feet dragged her in a new direction, automatic and working without her input. As she walked, she read some of the tombstones.
Roberts. Jacobs. O'Neil. I wonder how you all died. I...wonder if there are more of you still alive somewhere. In another place.
She came to a stop and found herself face to face with the weathered plating bearing her father's name. She remained still, reading it over and over again. Reading the year of his death. The numbers almost seemed to blur. With a single sniffle, she sucked on her teeth, giving her own emotions a passive-aggressive warning to stand down.
"Hey," she said, her voice hollow and lost, "long time no see, huh?" She looked around her at the dimly lit graveyard, finally seeing the beginnings of sunrise, and nodded to herself. "Kind of fucked up that you're here and not...I don't know. Home." A ripple of sadness flowed through her. "I just now realized that fantasy I've always had of you magically coming back is really complicated now. You'd need to find a job and, I mean, the economy is fucked. Plus David would...would need to leave, I guess? That doesn't seem fair. I..." she slipped a hand under her beanie and scratched at her scalp, "I guess people fucking moved on." She let go of a single, sad chuckle. "Kind of feels like when I found out Santa wasn't real."
Don't cry. Don't cry.
"I don't know what to do with all the shit in my head anymore, Dad." Chloe held her hand out, tensed like a claw. "I...I just saw you. You were alive. You said things I've never heard you say. You...you fucking looked older! Stressed out. You had more wrinkles. You...you weren't..." she gulped and felt a tear slide down her cheek, "you weren't my dad, though." She sighed out some of her pain. "When you die, your body stops. It rots. It turns into fucking...worm food. But you died and somehow you got older?" Her teeth gnashed together as she tried to stave off a particularly bad impulse to sob.
You're going to break. You're going to fall apart. But...not yet. Just hold it together for five more fucking minutes.
"It's like I don't know if there are two of you in that grave or a million or fucking none," she said. "I...I don't know how Max does it, Dad. I really don't. It's..." she flailed her arm, gesturing to the world around her and let it slap against her thigh, "it's really fucking hard to grasp this. And she can't understand. She was always herself. She never had to see another her that she didn't fucking remember being." Her body grew tense and she brought her hands to her head, but didn't touch it. "Oh my god, what the fuck is this?" She lowered herself to the ground, dropping her phone beside her so that it cast a beam of light up into the air.
"For her, it was just a fucking cast of characters changing costume. But...I saw myself kill one of my best friends. One of the only people who was there for me after you left." She swallowed down another sob. "I just fucking killed him. And his dog. In some...fucking other reality, I'm a murderer." With a quiet sigh of disgust, she roughly dragged her arm across her eyes. "I watched myself die. At...at her hands. I mean, I don't blame her. I'm not mad. But what am I supposed to do with that image? The love of my life...ending it?" She hung her head. "But it wasn't me. Not your daughter, but another you's daughter."
"The worst part about knowing and, and seeing alternate timelines or realities or whatever is knowing that there's at least one out there right fucking now where you're alive and I'm alive and Mom's alive and we're all together and..." she shook her head, "how is it possible to be jealous of myself?" She tapped the ground beside her, solid from the cold weather, hesitantly. "I saw we went to France. I'm glad I...had fun. Pretty hardcore that you guys entertained the possibility of me going to school there..."
Jesus Christ, just fucking say it. Get it over with.
"Hey, Dad," Chloe said, her voice hitching in her throat. She pulled her knees tightly to her chest and rested her cheek on one of them, her finger listlessly sketching in the dead grass beneath her. "Something is really bother me and I need to say it out loud to someone or it's just going to fucking eat me alive." She roughly exhaled from her nose and gave into the sadness, allowing herself to openly cry. "It's just that, um, Max goes through all these different realities, right? Or...she creates them or whatever. One where you're alive and I'm a cripple. One where I kill someone. One where I'm dead in the junkyard. In the bathroom. And then changing it so instead of being dead, I'm alive again..."
She coughed out a strangled whimper and pressed her forehead hard into her knee, clutching her ankle in a vice with both hands.
"I love her more than anything. I love her to death. I really do. But..." She coaxed the words out of her mouth. "But now I can't stop thinking about how I'm probably not...her Chloe. I could be the eighteenth Chloe she's met. Or the hundredth." She whined in despair. "Does it even matter? Are we all the same or...or what? I just don't understand." Her hands were turning numb with the pressure. "I never really stopped to think about it, but that day of the storm when she 'came back' after the party. Where did the other Max go? Who was I with that night? She just...what, disappeared? I just..." She clutched her head. "Fuck, I don't understand! I don't understand any of this! Doesn't she wonder if everyone around her is just some copy of the version she originally knew?"
A cheap knockoff. Not the...real one.
"I'm having a literal existential crisis," she said, managing to summon an acidic chuckle. She puckered her lips. "What happened after I died? What would you and Mom have done? I mean, she was only doing as I asked. It was a favor. I'm not sure if it was fair of me to put that on her." She rocked herself forward and crawled closer to William. "You know, when Max was going through her thing... When she was having that crazy PTSD shit, we came up with the idea that she just had all of these memories stuffed way down inside her. I'm like, really kind of scared about what that all means."
"God dammit," she growled, "I can't even focus. I keep going back and forth between that and seeing you." She moved even closer, now on her hands and knees directly on top of the grave. "I thought I was okay now with you being gone. It's not fucking fair I get to see you and not at least fucking hug you." With sudden weakness, her arms trembled and she fell into the dirt. "God, I miss you," she whispered, running her fingers through the grass. She began crying harder, letting herself lie completely flat on the ground. "I miss you."
"Chloe?" the voice asked for the fifth time, finally stirring the girl awake. The first thing she saw through bleary eyes was the stone of William's grave and she groaned, rolling herself onto her back. A man was crouched beside her, though the glare of the sun cast him in a silhouette.
"Dad?" she asked. She heard a pitying sigh in response.
"No, Chloe. It's Officer Berry," the man replied.
Ah, that's...that's wonderful.
"Hey," she said, her voice scratchy and weak.
"Are you alright?" He dipped his arms beneath her and helped her into a sitting position.
Nope.
"Yeah." She squinted at him, faking the best smile she could. "Yeah, I'm cool." He nodded, showing relief.
"Good. I...I uh, well, you know I have more than a few questions," he said.
"Yep," she responded dryly, "that seems pretty fair." She shielded her eyes and glanced around her. "What time is it?"
"7:30." He sighed and stood up straight. "Can you stand?"
In this reality, yep.
"Mhm." She allowed herself to be pulled to her feet. "Listen, I know this looks...pretty bad."
"It doesn't look good, no." He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Listen, I'd really like if you came down to the station with me."
Fuck.
"How much wiggle room is there for a pass?" she asked. She bent over and picked her phone off the ground, wincing at him.
"You're not in trouble, I'm just worried." He turned and looked over the grave contemplatively. "Your dad?"
"Uh huh. I guess I kind of had a tiny meltdown. I'm fine though. Promise." She held her hands at her side as if presenting herself. "No hurts."
"It'll be quick," he said, clearly trying his best to calmly and nicely convince her, "just want the medical staff to look you over." She frowned and looked at her phone.
Dammit, I fucked up here.
"Can I charge my phone there? Someone probably has a charger," she said, holding it out to him in demonstration.
"Sure," he replied with a comforting smile.
"Dooo I have to ride with you?" she asked, glancing in the direction of the entrance.
"I'd prefer it," he said. "I can bring you back once you're done."
No point in arguing this.
"Alright," she said, giving William's tombstone a final look. "Take me away, copper."
Obediently, she followed behind him, compulsively pressing on her phone's power button over and over. She hoped that Max would assume it was just another harmless dream and she'd fallen back to sleep. As they approached the main gate, she spotted something moving out of the corner of her eye. When she looked, she saw a doe standing in the distance, still as a statue and eyes locked on her.
...you again. What's your deal? Ugh, I'd ask if he sees it, but then if he can't that's really not going to help my case.
Reluctantly, she turned away from it and followed Officer Berry to his cruiser.
"Shotgun?" she asked, drumming her fingers on the top of the car.
"Protocol is backseat, Chloe," he responded with a smirk.
"Kinda figured." She stood aside as he opened the back door, then slipped inside. "Well, didn't plan on ending up back here again." She dragged her finger across the grated divider. "Who sold me out?"
"One of the staff. Name's Ferguson," he said, bent down with one arm on top of the car.
"What a narc." She crinkled her brow grumpily. "I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to him," she said, nestling herself against the seat. In response, Officer Berry snickered and closed the door.
"All good?" Chloe asked, swinging her feet as she sat on the examination table. The medical examiner backed up and looked over a chart, then turned to her and nodded.
"All good," she confirmed. "I can't make the call, but it sounds like you experienced some sort of dissociative episode." She tilted her head down and looked over the brim of her glasses. "Unless drugs were involved...?"
Oh Jesus, last thing I need.
"No drugs," Chloe said. "Just...I guess like you said, some kind of freak episode." She rubbed her nose as she grimaced. "Are you going to make me see a shrink?"
"Do you think you need to?" the examiner asked.
I mean, yeah, probably.
"Nah," she waved the notion away, "I'm fine. I guess I'm just worried about catching a cold from being out there so long." She grinned. "Hey, lucky a bear or something didn't come get me. Or like, a wolf. A whale? Arcadia Bay's most bloodthirsty predators?"
"Lucky indeed," she responded with a smirk. "Okay, you do seem to be alright but if you want my two cents, maybe seeing a therapist wouldn't hurt."
"I'll keep it in mind," Chloe said, sliding off of the table. "Does this go on my record or anything? I mean, was I technically arrested?"
"No, not arrested. Officer Berry will probably have some paperwork to fill out but I wouldn't worry about it too much," the examiner said.
"Well, that's some good news, at least." She made for the door, then stopped and spun back around. "Aaaand maybe we don't have to mention this to David? I know he's buddy-buddy with some of the people here." She clasped her hands together as if begging. "That'd be real swell."
Seriously, let's try to contain this as much as possible.
"Probably better taking that up with Anderson," she giggled. "You're nineteen, so we're not compelled by law to tell them. It'd really just be gossip."
"People do love to gossip," Chloe said with a roll of her eyes. She turned and walked over to the door, waving over her shoulder as she did so. "Thanks for the check up, Doc."
"Go home an get some rest, okay?" Officer Berry said, holding onto the door as she stepped out of the car.
"Sure thing, I'm pretty beat," she laughed. "Got a hell of a kink in my neck. Turns out the ground isn't too comfy."
"I can certainly imagine." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Look, I know you've been having a tough time. If you ever need anything, you can ask us, okay?"
"Thanks," she said. "I appreciate it. Just keep the Prescotts off of me, I guess."
"We will." His face turned grim. "Promise, we will."
Cool, that reaction was way more serious than I expected. Cool.
"Then we're all good!" She slapped the side of the car. "Better get going, I'm sure there's some jaywalkers that need cuffed. Arcadia Bay needs its hero!"
"Wiseacre as always," he smiled, "take care of yourself, Chloe. ...please."
She stood by as he started the car, giving a flippant salute as he pulled away. As she turned in the direction of her truck, she caught sight of a man staring at her from inside the graveyard.
Please don't talk to me.
"You okay?" he called.
"Peachy," she responded with a thumbs up. Realization struck her. "Are you Ferguson?"
"Yeah," he yelled back.
Alright then.
"You're a dick!" she shouted, laughing as she held up her middle finger. Not bothering to wait and see if he understood it was in jest, she made her way to her truck and hopped in. Gingerly, she laid her hands on the wheel, stretching out her fingers and took a long, deep breath...and burst into tears.
"Fuck," she said, her voice creaking in a whisper. She dug her phone out of her pocket and unsteadily typed in her password. She'd seen at the station that Max had responded to her, but decided to wait to read the messages until she was alone.
Max: Time dream? Are you okay?
Max: Was it bad?
Max: Babe?
Max: Hopefully you fell back asleep. Text me when you wake up please. Love you.
She also noticed that she had one missed call from Max, coming somewhere between a pair of texts. Sniffling, she set her phone on her knee and threw her head back against the seat with a cushioned thud.
What the hell am I supposed to tell her? How honest am I supposed to be? Am I supposed to tell her it fucking hurt and my nose bled?
Chloe: dad
Seriously, that's all you could manage?
Unsurprisingly, her phone rang almost immediately. She cleared her throat and answered.
"Hey hey," Chloe said, "what up, baby?"
"Chloe, are you okay? What did you see?" She winced at how shaky Max's voice was. Clearly she'd been dreading this for a long, long time. There was barely enough time to answer before she spoke again. "Chlo?"
"Pretty sad," she admitted, absentmindedly digging her nail into the material of the steering wheel. "I just saw, I dunno, I was in a chair and he was there. Pretty crazy." She rolled her eyes hatefully.
You're not fooling anybody, you fucking liar.
"...Chloe? Are you okay?" Max repeated, this time stressing the seriousness of the words. "Talk to me, please."
"I mean, I'm kind of fucking shook up," she said, then she cringed. "Sorry, that sounded way meaner than it was supposed to. I guess it's just kind of a lot." Max was silent for a moment.
"Can you come over?" she asked. "I want to see you. I know... I can tell you're not okay."
Of course you can.
"Yeah, I'll be there in a little bit. Going to grab a bite first. I'm hella hungry. Gotta get smokes too and maybe stop by The Two Whales to ask about a shift." As she finished speaking, she crammed a hand against her face to snuff out any involuntary noises of sadness.
Lie. Lie. Lie. What are you doing?
"Al-alright." Max didn't just sound upset, she sounded genuinely afraid. "I'll be here, okay? Just call me if you need me and...I'll see you soon?"
"Of course," Chloe said, pushing another dose of cheeriness into her tone. "I'll be there. Get those huggin' arms ready for meh." Before Max could speak, she skipped forward. "I love you, I'll see you in a bit."
"I love you too," Max said, her voice strained. "Um, bye…"
"Bye cutie," she responded, then ended the call.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.
Without thinking too much about it, she found her and David's text messages. She hesitated, then began typing.
Chloe: heya david, just checkin in. hope everythings cool and youre having a good time.
Chloe: love you guys
She wasn't sure what her plans were, but she wasn't ready to look Max in the eye just yet. She didn't know if she'd be able to hold it together. With a twist of the key, the truck groaned to life. She glanced at herself in the rearview, the sight of her glassy, red eyes knotting her stomach. With no destination in mind, she drove off.
"What the fuck am I doing?" she asked herself, the words sounding tired in her ears. She flicked the wheel of her lighter and lit the cigarette, taking a deep drag and submerging herself in the buzz of nicotine. As she slowly strolled forward, she reached a hand out and touched the metal surface. Her fingers dragged along it, the jagged texture of rust burning her skin. A familiar, clanking roar far off to her left caught her attention.
I wonder...if Max wasn't fast enough the first time. Did she have to watch me get...?
The rhythmic churn of the train grew louder until it was deafening and she leaned against one of the dilapidated cars as it passed by. Though it carried on smoothly, she could just see the sparks rocketing from the tracks.
I remember thinking...this is it. I got saved in the bathroom just to have my guts spill out all over some rusty fucking rails. Right after I got her back...
"Why were you in the dream?" she asked quietly, directing the question at the disappearing train. "That's never happened before. It was like..some edited video?" She swept a hand in front of her in a pushing motion. "Forget it." She put pressure on the hood of the car, then sprang to her feet. Despite not really wanting to, she plodded over to her old hideout.
As she already knew, it was devoid of her and Rachel's belongings, though she took some solace in the remaining graffiti, especially the piece she'd added when she was last there with Max. A scowl worked itself into her features when she noticed a worn out blanket in the corner, strewn over a collection of other various possessions.
Looks like someone found a place to crash. I guess...I don't know, I guess it's good they have a roof.
"Whatever," she said dryly, ducking through the doorway leading back outside. She milled about aimlessly, inspecting different objects that had been worn down over time. Then, finally acknowledging a circling thought, she made her way to the spot where they found Rachel.
"You know," she glanced into the sky, squinting at the sunlight, "this place really took too much from me." She scuffed her foot along the dirt that used to cover her friend. "I found Dad's car here. I found you here. Hell, according to Max, even I died here." She looked over the cigarette between her fingers that had gone out from neglect and frowned. "You're not even here. I'm talking to nothing. And I mean, hey, who knows, that might also be true at the graveyard."
"She never specified," Chloe said. "She didn't tell me exactly where it was I died here. In the clubhouse? In a pile of trash?" She let out a bitter chuckle. "Sure can't wait to see for myself." She flicked the extinguished cigarette onto the ground and began walking back to her truck. A fluctuation of emotion danced above her sinuses, tearing the embers of anger down into the abyss. Pressing the flat of both index fingers across her eyes, she exhaled and wiped away new tears.
Bye forever, American Rust.
Chloe kept her head down as she climbed the steps to Blackwell's campus, wearing not only her beanie but a hood as well to obscure her face as much as she could. The prospect of entertaining discussion with anyone, even those she considered close friends, threatened to unravel her sanity. Luckily, she made her way to the dorm without incident.
Being actually in the dorm, however, was a different matter. Though she kept her eyes low, she could see the shapes of people moving around her as she headed down the hall. She could also tell some of the rooms had their doors wide open, giving even people who weren't actively walking around a shot at initiating conversation with her.
Fuck, I'm friends with like half of these people now. Please just let me get to Max's before anyone notices me.
Much to her relief, she managed to reach Max's door without drawing any attention to herself. Or rather, none that resulted in a need for social behavior. She'd be surprised if more than a few people didn't notice the bundled up girl scurrying her way through the hall. She breathed in deeply through her nose and raised her fist to knock on the door.
Okay, Chloe. You can do this. Just hold it together.
She knocked twice, only just loud enough for the person inside to hear. The door jerked open with clumsy speed, revealing a doe-eyed Max. Her eyes showed signs of recent tears, only further proving just how badly she wished Chloe had never seen those memories of her father. She said nothing, only silently gazed at Chloe.
Fuck.
Chloe worked up a smile. She hoped it was at least somewhat believable.
"Hey," she said, but the sound fell apart as the word bubbled in her throat. She glanced at the floor, then back up at Max, rebuilding the smile. "How are-" She wasn't even really sure if she finished the sentence. Max, and the room behind her, slipped up and out of her view, replaced with the blue of her carpet. As her knees slammed into the floor, she felt two arms wrap around her tightly, catching her from tumbling too hard. She fell forward, sobbing as she buried her face into Max's chest. Max shifted around her and she could hear the sound of the door closing. She tried to speak again, but could barely recognize any of the noises as English.
No no no please just make this all stop it has to stop.
"Shh," Max whispered soothingly, planting her lips into Chloe's hair, "I'm here." She squeezed tighter as Chloe cried out again, heaving as she clawed into her shirt.
"You're my Max, right?" Chloe whimpered, though her words sounded far away from her.
"Of course I'm your Max," she responded with an understandable tint of confusion in her voice.
"I j-just..." Chloe began, but the sentence flatlined in her mouth. Instead, she wailed, choking on her sadness and giving all of herself to Max's embrace.
A/N: :c