This may not be the best chapter. I said it was gonna get a little angsty. For people who just want to read my smut, I'm sorry. No one writes in a vacuum and I'm just a ball of insecurity right now. I know that's evident in my writing. I'm sorry it's not great.
As Mike lay in bed trying to fall asleep, he couldn't stop replaying the events of the day back in his mind. He had a girlfriend now but it wasn't just some title to him. While he'd never had one, and honestly kind of figured he never would, he was a little scared at how intense his feelings for El had become in such a short period of time. He knew it was a little silly from an objective point of view; they had only known each other for a week and that shouldn't be enough time to develop such strong feelings, and yet they had crossed so many lines and done so many things Mike had only ever thought about doing.
Mike was afraid of the things he was already thinking about regarding El. College, the future, long term things. He tried to keep himself from it, trying to go with the flow so he wouldn't end up getting hurt, but his brain was a machine that could never be turned off. It was constantly working, thinking, planning and hoping and Mike was helpless to stop it.
The next morning, Mike put the panties back on. He told himself that no one would know and that he only had to wear them until lunchtime and then he'd get to be alone with El. At school. It was both scary and exciting and Mike hoped he wouldn't chicken out.
When he went downstairs to breakfast, Mike forgot that he was wearing El's panties crusted in his own cum. He forgot his name for a second. El was standing in the kitchen and the sunlight bathed her the way it always seemed to. She wore long black socks that went above her knees and Mike could see a few inches of her thighs between the socks and the gray skirt she was also wearing. Her shirt was nothing spectacular, just a black polo shirt, but on her it looked sexy as hell, fitting her perfectly and showing off the swell of her breasts.
"Oh, hey, Mike. I got up early so I could take a shower without getting in anyone's way." El was popping Eggos into the toaster.
"Sweetie, were you going to take your lunch today or eat what the school is having?" Karen asked. She was busy making Holly's lunch.
"Um," Mike wasn't sure what to say.
"Oh I've seen the menu," El winked at Mike. "He'll definitely want to eat what he's served at school."
Mike was in his head most of the morning. They had ridden to school together but it hadn't gone unnoticed by him that El kissed his cheek well before they approached the school building. Mike worried about what that might mean.
Does she not want anyone to see?
He somehow made it through his morning classes, not really listening to the teacher but feeling sick instead. He felt sick because he couldn't stop thinking about how attached he felt he was to El. He told himself it was ridiculous, that it was way too soon, but the feelings remained. He wondered if he'd made a mistake by getting physical so soon. But then he wondered if she would have ever looked at him differently if he hadn't gotten physical. After all, he was kind of nothing. Everyone knew it.
In English they had a substitute and Mike and El found out that their project deadline would be pushed back. Since the teacher was dealing with some personal things and they'd have a sub for a few weeks, they had a lot more time to complete it.
"So, how you feeling?" El asked, smirking and looking at Mike's crotch as they sat together in English.
Mike was suddenly sure that sex was all she wanted from him. But he wanted her, in whatever way possible, so he was going to do his best to make sure she got what she wanted.
"I'm feeling like I'm ready to give you back what's yours. With maybe a little of what's mine attached." He winked at her, feeling like he could do this. He could be whatever she wanted him to be as long as she wanted him to be something.
At lunch El spotted Mike across the cafeteria and motioned for him to follow her. Mike kept some distance but found her in the girls' locker room, just like they'd talked about.
El was on him in an instant.
"I can't believe we're doing this at school," she said as she kissed him, pushing him down onto the bench in front of the lockers.
"It's what you wanted, right? I can't believe you've been here all day with no underwear. El, you know exactly how hot you are in these socks."
El looked at him, the two of them laying on the bench, El on top.
"Lift my skirt and show me how that makes you feel."
Mike did. His hands went underneath the wool fabric, pushing it up but keeping it bunched around her waist. He had planned for needing to remove her panties from himself so he'd worn shoes that he could easily slip off. He kicked them to the floor while his hands squeezed her tight ass.
El reached between them and unfastened Mike's jeans. Their lunch period was only about forty-five minutes and they had already spent at least fifteen finding each other and getting to the locker room.
"Did you like wearing my panties? I like seeing your hard cock peeking through them. You made me cum so hard last night. I want you to do it again here. So that next time girls give me a hard time when we're changing I can think of how well you fucked me while they were stuffing their faces with square pizza and fucking corn."
"I like how they feel. They feel different than my briefs. Knowing you're gonna put them back on makes it so much hotter. Want me to take them off now?"
El kissed him hard, feeling his erection against her bare pussy. It was straining through the fabric of her panties and she knew she had him where she'd hoped. Hard and ready to do whatever she asked.
"No, keep them on. I want to add to the cum. Add it while you fuck me against the lockers. Mike, I think you'll have to be fast or we'll be late to our next class."
Despite whatever questions or qualms he had about his feelings or their relationship, Mike was determined to rise to any occasion. He set aside his doubts, his doubts about her feelings not being as strong as his, and focused on giving her the fantasy she wanted. He knew her well enough to know some things she liked.
With one swoop he pushed her up, holding her and swinging her around until her back hit the metal lockers. Mike pushed her shirt up until her breasts were revealed to him and then commenced sucking on them. He knew time was of the essence but he could still make it memorable. El was pulling at his hair, her skirt still around her waist and now her shirt was almost around her shoulders, the only thing keeping it on her was the fact that her arms were still in the sleeves.
"You want me to make you cum? At school? Such a dirty, needy girl. Instead of lunch you need cock. I can get behind that," Mike said as his tongue lapped at hers. Then he turned her around.
In the girls' locker room the lockers did not have real locks. Anyone could open them because they were really only to stow belongings during gym class and not for long term. Mike knew this, and he opened two of the lower lockers. When El stood on the floor of them Mike didn't have to bend his legs as much.
"I know before I cum I'm gonna lay you out on this bench and fuck you in the prone position. I love looking at your ass. But right now I'm gonna pound you from behind. Gonna split you in two."
"Fuck, just do it already. Please, " El begged.
As Mike plunged his dick into El's dripping pussy, all his doubts dissolved. Right now at least, she definitely wanted him. Right now at least, she definitely craved what he could provide. And she felt so good. Mike watched her fingers grip the lockers, her digits finding the grates and holding on tight as his dick ravaged her from behind. She was trying to be quiet, he knew that, but the locker room made sound carry and he found himself surrounded by echoes of their own lustful moans and heavy breathing.
The excitement of doing it at school only enhanced everything.
"Oh, fuck, El. Can I move you? This is so good but I want you on the bench," Mike breathed, his lips grazing her neck and the baby fine hairs there.
"Put me on the bench then," she breathed back.
Mike had intended to lay her face down on it, to keep her legs straight and bone her from above. But when he placed her on the bench her legs spread and he found himself fucking her while she straddled the bench. He knew it would have pussy juice and no doubt his own cum on it when they were finished. He didn't care. Feeling his own thighs against hers as he straddled her, allowing his cock to penetrate her while she hugged the wooden bench, made it all so much better. Mike noted that any skin to skin contact with El made him instantly feel more at peace.
"My clit is rubbing on the b-bench, Mike. You're being such a g-good boy." El was mumbling, so caught up in feeling the rhythm of Mike's thrusts.
Mike liked being good at what he did. But right then, he was so immersed in feeling himself sliding into El, he could smell her lotion and he could hear her breathing, encouraging him, wanting him, that he couldn't censor himself.
"Can I turn you over? I really wanna kiss you while you make me cum."
El moved in a split second, as though she had been thinking the same. Mike fell on her once she was on her back. His cock found its home once more and his lips found hers. They kissed until Mike felt the bubbling in his balls. He wanted to warn her but she wouldn't let go of his hair.
"El, gonna, c-cum," Mike said, trying to break away long enough to tell her what was happening.
El seemed to know. She only let his face part from her lips a fraction of an inch.
"Me too. Kiss me, Mike. Don't hold back."
Mike connected with her once more. Just a second later he was cumming, feeling himself shoot deep into El's pussy. He knew she was cumming too because he could feel it. He could feel the telltale rhythmic pulses on his cock as his own continued inside her. She kept kissing him even after he had emptied into her, her fingers no longer gripping his hair but stroking it lazily while her kiss carried on.
They lay together on the bench until they were almost out of time.
"I guess you want these back?" Mike asked. He'd worn her panties the whole time.
"I do. I want to watch you take them off and I want you to watch me put them on. Is that okay?"
"Definitely." Mike had let his jeans fall before the lockers so now he was only wearing his shirt and her cum covered panties. "I hope I didn't stretch them out too much." He shimmied out of them and stood half naked like Winnie the Pooh, while he watched her put them on.
"It doesn't matter. I'll make sure they stay up. I'm gonna have your cum against me for the rest of the day. Wish I was staying with you tonight." El said as she put the panties back on. She pulled them into her slit, feeling the wetness of the new cum that had splashed on them, and sighed.
"Yeah, but hey, next week, right?" Mike asked, assuming it would be the same.
El's face fell a little.
"Well, that's the thing. I got put in a group in history this morning. It's worth like 40% of my grade. So I'm gonna have to work on that as much as I need to. You understand, right?"
Mike didn't. He of course did, but he didn't know how he could possibly deal with her having other things to do that would be more important than him.
"Of course I understand. Whatever you need to do." Already he could feel the old feelings, the ones he'd tried to push down, resurfacing.
"Cool. You're the best."
El kissed his cheek and then was gone, leaving Mike alone in the girls' locker room. He got dressed and went to his next class, feeling unsure and afraid and benign and like a piece of nothing.
And she was busy a lot after that. Mike didn't get to spend much time with El at all anymore. It wasn't doing anything for his psyche.
Mike felt like he was going crazy. Since El had been put in the group in her history class she seemed to spend all of her time with them. She never had time for Mike anymore and it was slowly killing him. The fact that they had finished their English project on a night that she was supposed to be staying over at his house, but then once they were finished she left saying she had to go do something with her other group and that she was going to spend the night with one of the girls in it, only made him feel worse. Mike felt like she was leaving him, like she'd gotten what she wanted and now had found better things. And sadly, he felt like she deserved better. It still hurt though. They hadn't broken up but Mike felt like he never saw El anymore. She always had other things to do.
And it hurt like nothing he'd ever felt. He found that even going into the basement hurt because it only made him think of her.
In fact, Mike was having so much trouble with it that he even talked to his older sister about it when she was home one weekend. It wasn't his style but apparently Nancy had noticed that he was more sullen than usual and she called him into her room on a Friday night.
"Hey, little brother. Come in here for a second?" She asked, her door open, as Mike walked past it.
"What is it?" Mike asked.
"You tell me. You seem down. Want to talk about it?"
Mike's shoulders slumped. He wasn't particularly close to his sister but seeing how concerned she looked made something in him snap and he felt like he was going to cry.
"It's stupid," he offered.
"Bullshit. Sit down. Tell me what's wrong. Is it a girl?"
Mike sat down on the end of Nancy's bed, thinking to himself that the last person to sleep in that bed had been El.
"That makes it sound like dumb high school nonsense. But yeah. Only…I don't know. It's more than that." He rested his head in his hand and looked solemnly at the blanket on the bed.
"Okay, you need to talk about it. So talk. Tell me everything. I can tell by your face that this isn't some run of the mill crush. You look like you just saw your best friend get murdered."
"Am I weird? You know, like, if you met me at college, if I was in one of your classes, would you think I'm the weird guy? I mean, you know the shit they say at school but we both agree that Hawkins is a hellhole so who cares, but in the actual world…am I weird?"
Nancy started to speak but Mike went on.
"Like, there's this girl El, and she's new, and Nancy, she's like…well on a scale of 1 to 10 she's easily an 11 and I'm what? Like a 3? Tops? And she even shaved her head and she's still amazing but it's more than that. I felt like I knew her for forever the first time we talked. And Nance, um, we've done some stuff. Like, a lot of stuff and I know I'm a guy and I'm supposed to like, be collecting sex and upping my numbers or what the fuck ever, but I dream about her. I think about her all the fucking time. It never stops. I mean, she's my girlfriend but I never see her anymore because she's in a group in her history class and I guess it's really important but I miss her and I don't feel like I can say that because before that she didn't have any friends and now she kind of does and I don't want to be the kind of guy who doesn't let her live her life however she wants. But God, I miss her. And it was so fast! I mean, my feelings went from crush to falling in like two seconds and that scares me but mostly because I'm afraid she doesn't feel the same way. I'm not afraid of my feelings for her. I'm just afraid to not have her. I know. It's obsessive. You'll probably say if a guy was like that with you that you'd do everything you could to keep him away from you."
Nancy sat with her mouth open looking at her dorky little brother, though now she was really looking at him. Looking at the man at the foot of her bed instead of the irritating boy who had stolen money from her piggy bank. She could see her was hurting.
"Well, yeah, you're weird. But that's what people want. Sure, there are dumb girls who want that jock-alpha-male-can't-read-four-syllable-words type guy, and I hate those bitches by the way, but girls fantasize about smart guys who are good in bed and who can make them feel safe and loved. At least I do. I can't speak for everyone. And Mike, maybe she's not the one. Ever think of that?"
"That's just it though. I know that she is. But I also think that she deserves way better than me. I mean, what am I good at? Writing? Science? If I don't nail it I'll just be another dude working at some asshole place and wearing a name tag. I'm not gonna be a doctor. If I fuck it up, I'll be nothing. And she deserves way better than nothing. If she even wants me. I really just want her to be happy. But, Nancy, I really wish it could be with me." Mike's voice trailed off.
"You're too smart, little brother. You need to be able to see things like normal people do. You need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. Don't you think she deserves that?" Nancy asked.
"Yeah, but what if I ruin it? What if I tell her how I really feel and it's too much and I lose her forever? Nance, I've been thinking about the quarry sometimes."
"Fuck no you haven't. Michael, that is not an option."
"But you know that it is. It's always there. I wouldn't have to think about any of it anymore. It wouldn't matter if she did or didn't love me. Yeah, I said it. I love her. But it wouldn't matter and I wouldn't have to feel this way."
Nancy had tears in her eyes, hearing her brother speak of jumping into the quarry like it was something he thought about every day. Like it was as easy as deciding between walking and riding his bike to school.
"But Mike, what If she does feel the same way? What if things are just hard for her too? What if you did that and she blamed herself for the rest of her life? And, not that it matters, but I'd really miss you."
"It just sucks to feel this way, Nance. My heart hurts. I feel like she's my fucking soulmate but how can I possibly be hers? I'm literally nothing. And I know there are better people out there, better people for her. It doesn't even matter if it's a guy or a girl, I know there are better people than me. So how could someone I look at as perfect ever want me?" Mike was starting to cry.
"You've gotta talk to her, Mike. Don't count yourself out. Not yet. Show her how special you are. I mean, I know I tease you and I'm hard on you, but you're really smart. And you're funny, and I don't want to really think about you and sex but if this girl wants to do stuff with you then I think you should consider that. If she's as perfect as you say she is and she chose you, can't you let that matter to you? Can't you see that she must see something in you?"
"I guess." Mike didn't at all sound like he believed his sister. He just thought she was trying to make him feel better and he was still feeling like he was spiraling out of control.
"Get some sleep. Things will be better in the morning. I know it." Nancy seemed so sure.
"Okay. Thanks, Nancy."
Mike went across the hall to his own bedroom and decided that in the morning he would visit the Sattler Quarry. Just scout it out.
The next morning Nancy Wheeler had just gotten up and had gone downstairs when she saw a note on the kitchen table.
Went to the quarry. Just thinking, Nancy. I love you guys.
Nancy was about to call for her mother when the doorbell rang.
"Hi, is Mike here? I'm El. You must be Nancy."
Nancy regarded the girl and she could see why her brother might be so smitten. She wanted to help, to be an active part, but she knew she needed to just steer them in the right direction.
"He told me about you. El, I'm, afraid he's not in the best headspace right now. He left a note, saying he went to the quarry to think. I'm worried about him. I don't know if you know, but Mike has some issues with depression. He's too smart for his own good. Maybe you can make him feel better. He seems to really care about what you think. El…never mind. He should be the one to tell you." Nancy gave El the information hoping for the best, not knowing the girl at all but knowing that her brother put her first on his list of people who mattered.
With great worry El set off for the quarry. When she finally got there and found Mike, he was standing on the edge on a rock, looking down at the water so far below.
"Mike? What are you doing?"
Mike was a little surprised that she'd shown up but he was too caught up in his own feelings and emotions to act that way.
"You know, when I was twelve, I was bullied by a kid. So was my friend. We were right here, and the kid pulled a knife on my friend Dustin. He said he'd cut him if I didn't jump off. I almost did. I thought, hey, it'll save Dustin and no one will really miss me anyway. But then they saw that I was actually gonna do it so they stopped. He let Dustin go and I didn't jump. But I think about it. I think maybe I should have, and then I wouldn't have to feel like I do." He didn't even turn around, only gazing at the cold water so far below him.
"What are you talking about, Mike? I don't want to think about you not being here." El wanted to go grab him and pull him away from the ledge but the way he sounded, so done with it all, so resolved, stopped her.
"You can do so much better. You deserve better than me. And you're gonna realize that and I don't think I can handle that. I lo-I don't want to see your face when you finally understand that you can have anything you want and that anything doesn't include me. You really shouldn't care, El." Mike was stoic. He could hear himself but it was like someone else was saying it.
El was growing angry, not only at Mike for thinking like that, but at herself for not letting him know how much he meant to her.
"So you'd just leave? What about what I think? Do I even get a say?"
"I want you to be happy, El. I'm not happy so how can I make you that way? And I'm nobody! You have a chance to have friends and I'll just hold you back because I'm nothing. You're so smart, and beautiful, and good at everything. You deserve better than me." Mike finally turned around to look at her.
El finally was able to move. She stepped forward and pulled his arm, successfully pulling Mike away from the edge of the quarry.
"Fuck you, Mike," El still hadn't let go of his arm. "Fuck you for trying to make decisions that should be mine. Fuck you for making me care about you. Fuck you for making me fall in love with you."
Author's Note: Sigh, I'm not having fun writing this. I'm just trying to get through it. I'm dealing with my own issues right now. It's Mike and El so obviously it'll come back around. If only real life was as pure. Anyway, angry sex at the quarry in the next chapter. Whenever that will be.