A/N: Posting this while my train is delayed. Any mistakes, blame it on the train! Hope you all have a fantastic weekend, and thanks for reading and reviewing!

The Loss

Chapter 10

Christine lay awake in Aramis' arms that night.

Visions of the aftermath of the explosion haunted her thoughts.

...The face of Bernard as he fought Treville to stay in the infirmary, the way Etienne pleaded with the surgeon to do something, the pain in D'Artagnan's eyes, Athos needing to be helped to the infirmary by Porthos, the look of fear and panic that momentarily flitted across Aramis' normally calm and confident face in the infirmary as he assessed Adam's injuries…Then, the remains of the four who took the brunt of the explosion, the covered and still body of the young boy…Adam…the gruesome way his body had been punctured as he tried to shield the boy from the flying debris…

She shuddered and fought the sob that threatened to escape with the tears that had begun to fall from her eyes. Aramis drew his arms tighter around her and gently kissed her shoulder.

"You're not sleeping," he said softly and sadly.

She shook her head and brushed the tears from her eyes. "No," she said, "Neither are you." She turned onto her back and gazed up at the canopy of the bed. She allowed his arm wrapped around her waist to pull her close as he propped himself up on his elbow and studied the worry lines on her face.

"Christine," he whispered and held her close as she quietly cried.

"Aramis, I'm scared," she said. He said nothing but continued to hold her against him. "This Ramero," she said, "He's a monster. Before he killed for money. Now he'll kill you for pleasure… and the four of you are offering yourselves to him as bait for his pride. His pride!"

"Sh, mi tesora…sh," he soothed.

"No Aramis, you're a soldier. You know how many lives are lost to a man's pride. That's why it's one of the seven deadly sins," she snapped at him. She felt him tense at these words, but he still held her close. She turned towards him and wrapped her arms around him and wept into his shoulder as he stroked her back.

"I lied to him Aramis," she whispered miserably as her tears began to settle.

"To who?" he asked as he gently brushed the hair from her face. She would not meet his eyes.

"To Adam," she whispered finally. "I told him that the boy had lived. I said that he had saved him. I said he was a hero! I couldn't let him know that his actions…that he sacrificed himself for nothing. And I can't watch the ones I love do the same! The thought of seeing Athos or Porthos or D'Artagnan that way…the thought of losing you…Aramis, mi tesoro, I can't…I just can't…"

Her eyes burned as she raised hers to meet his. His breath was taken by the fierceness of the love, the depth of the pain and the scope of the determination he saw in her eyes. In that moment he sent a thankful prayer to God for blessing him with the miracle of this woman and her love.

He ran his hand along her face and held it against her cheek so she couldn't look away.

"Christine," he said seriously, "You did not lie to Adam. You saved him. It was in the effort to save the boy – to willingly risk his own life – that is what made Adam a hero," he said. The tears once more began to fall from her eyes, but she did not look away.

"Danger happens everyday. You and I are both too well versed in loss for me to have to explain that to you, my love. I cannot tell you what the Lord has in store for any of us. I can tell you that Ramero is a madman and must be stopped. I can tell you that my brothers and I – and you too Christine – will do everything we can to prevent anyone else from falling victim to his mercilessness. I cannot say that there is no risk – that injury, or even death, are not possible outcomes of this plan. I can tell you Christine that I love you, with every fibre of my being," he said. "You will never lose me. I will keep you in my heart until its last beat – be it if I die on some battlefield in a distant land, or get run down by a cart while crossing the street or as an old man surrounded by our grandchildren. You will never lose me Christine, because I will never let you go. I will always find a way to come back to you."

He kissed her and held her close and she did the same. They held each other, breathing as one, their hearts beating as one, and were comforted and fortified by the love they shared for each other.

As the dawn light slowly filtered into the bedroom, Christine ran her hand along the face of the man she loved so deeply, cherishing each ray of light that touched him.

"You have all of me, Aramis. All of me," she said, clasping his hands in hers and bringing them to her lips. "God has given me the miracle of your love. You will come back to me," she said, partly as a prayer and partly as a promise.

"I swear."

oOo

The next morning passed quickly. Treville listened to their plan and though the fire in his eyes flared at the danger he knew these men would be facing, he, like Christine, could only relent and ask how he was to play his part.

As the musketeers exited Treville's office and made their way to where their horses stood waiting in the courtyard, one of the stable hands approached them.

"Aramis?" the lad said apprehensively.

"What is it Jacques?" the marksman replied warmly.

"There was a man who was asking about Bella…" The musketeers stopped and looked at the young man inquisitively.

"What did he say?" Athos asked bluntly.

"Nothing really lieutenant…he said that he had seen her around and thought her beautiful. He even called her bella…he said…he said she looked like a jealous creature."

Aramis raised his eyebrows at this comment and turned to look at his brothers. The three of them were well aware of the horse's jealous and protective tendencies when it came to her rider.

"What did this man look like Jacques?" D'Artagnan asked the lad who blushed deeply under the scrutiny of these men.

"I didn't get too good of a look at him as he was wearing a hood, but his eyes were dark and he had a bit of an accent…he sounded Italian...or Spanish…"

"Aramis?" asked Porthos as the marksman paled slightly.

"Yesterday…while returning to the rue St. Germain…Christine joked about Bella's jealousy…"

"The man asked me to give you this," said Jacques hesitantly as he passed Aramis a sealed note. Aramis stared at the letter and took it wordlessly.

"Thank you Jacques," said D'Artagnan warmly, as the lad continued to look nervously at Aramis.

"I'm sorry Aramis if I did something wrong. The man made me nervous…I didn't want to let him into the garrison or anywhere near the horses…"

"You did well, Jacques, thank you," said Aramis kindly and dismissed the boy with a small smile.

His three brothers gathered close to him as he tore the note open and read it, his eyes widening immediately as they took in its contents.

Instantly Aramis had crumpled the note; dropping it to the ground, he leapt onto Bella's back and bolted from the garrison. Athos knelt to retrieve the note.

"Aramis!" cried Porthos as he mounted Flip and prepared to take off after his brother.

"He's at Christine's! Go! Go! We'll follow!" Athos shouted as his blue eyes scanned the paper.

Without further prompting Porthos went barrelling out of the garrison gates.

Athos shoved the note into D'Artagnan's hands along with the reins of his horse as he hoisted himself onto Roger.

"She looks beautiful in green this morning, hermano" was all the note said.

oOo