Max couldn't decide if she'd rather Kate just ignore her entirely as opposed to what she was doing. That being, in true Kate Marsh fashion, she still spoke to her and made no real effort to avoid her, but...there was just this thing hanging over both of them. A few days had passed since their night at the carnival and she still hadn't had, or been given, the opportunity to truly talk about it. So, it just festered, making her increasingly more uncomfortable as she sat across from her in class.
She did get to talk to Victoria about things, and that helped much more than she had anticipated. Victoria pointed out to her how, as different as the finer details may be, it wasn't entirely unlike her connection to Nathan and the feelings that came along with that. Though it was rather sobering to realize the people closest to Kate were only one degree away from the people who hurt her most, intentional or not. It was a miracle, she thought maybe even literally, that Kate was as trusting and loving as she was after all she'd been through.
"Okay, so," Ms. Waters said, checking the clock, "the bell should be ringing any second. I hope you all have a great spring break! I'll extend the deadline on the assignment by a week so you can try and decompress instead of still be all stressed out about school the whole time." She nodded with a grin at Stella who seemed especially pleased by the extra time. "Thought you guys might like that! And, when we-" The bell rang and students immediately stood up, severing any attention they had been giving her. "Okay! Go forth! Shoo!" she laughed as she waved her arms to the door.
"Kate, can I stop by a little later?" Max asked. The girl hesitated, then nodded.
"Sure," she said, then scooped up her books and got up from the table.
Ugh, this is killing me.
"Dude, this fucking sucks," Max said once she was gone, burying her face in her hands.
"Welcome to life, Max," Victoria said, a little smirk painted onto her face. She reassuringly rubbed Max's shoulder. "I'll talk to her too. It'll be okay." She looked at Taylor. "What's your deal for today?"
"What do you mean what's my deal?" she asked with a hint of insult. "I'm going to get some stuff together and go home! But I'll make sure I stop by before I bounce." She laughed and let her head droop back. "When we get back, we'll have to have another little party. Because," she pointed to the back of her throat and made a muted gagging noise, "I'm going to miss you guys."
"At least it's only two weeks this time," Max chuckled, packing her supplies into her bag. "Unless I get officially excommunicated from the group." She frowned. "Kate might smite me."
"Might smite," Taylor mused, narrowing her eyes. "That sounds cool."
"She's actually upset," Victoria said, glaring at Taylor. The girl held her hands up.
"I mean, I know! But...it's Kate, you know?" She shook her head as if confused. "She forgave us! She puts her tongue in your mouth now! I think everything's going to be okay. It seems...like, obvious?"
That's comforting in its own...Taylor-way.
"Let's hope," Max said, then shrugged, "or pray, I guess." She pulled her phone out of her pocket. "I'll catch up with you guys, I have to message Chloe." Victoria and Taylor both nodded and left her be. She sighed as she tapped.
Max: Going to talk to Kate in a bit.
Chloe: thats good. should i come?
Max: Nah, I can handle it. Plus, you'll distract me from packing.
Max: Just like last night.
Chloe: fair point. lmk when to come getcha
Max: Will do. Love you.
Chloe: love you more
Max: Fuck OFF.
"She's always picking fights," Max mumbled to herself with a snicker. She pulled the strap of her bag over her shoulder, then stood up and headed for the door.
"I see you, Max Caulfield!" Ms. Waters said. There was a brief jolt of discomfort in her throat, but she turned around. Ms. Waters leaned against her desk, smiling brightly as she beckoned Max to her. "You okay?" she asked. "You seem kind of bummed out." She pouted. "You didn't even laugh at my Man Ray joke!"
She seems genuinely hurt by that. Aw.
"Yeah, sorry, Ms. Wa- er, Maddie," Max chuckled, "just in one of those moods. I'm okay. It was a good joke."
"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that," she said. "If there's anything I can do, you know I'm open to talk about it." She glanced out the window and nodded her head. "We all have those moods sometimes, I totally get it." She turned her upper-body and picked some papers up from her desk. "Are you excited for the break? It'll be good for you to chill out."
So much excited.
"Yes, I'm pretty hyped about it," Max admitted. "I'm going home to Seattle for the first time since starting here. Bringing my girlfriend with me, too!" Ms. Waters raised her eyebrows and gave Max a quick look up and down, then smiled.
"That will be cool. Has she ever met them before?" she asked.
"I actually used to live here when I was younger, so they know her from then. We were best friends since, man, I don't even know," Max said. With a bit of a devious grin, Ms. Waters leaned close to her.
"Does she go here?" she whispered. "Do I know her?"
Is my teacher trying to gossip with me about my own love life? Why is that so endearing?
"No, but she used to," Max replied. "You might have seen her around, though. She's here all the time. Long, blue hair? Always looks like she's jamming to loud music in her head? Her name's Chloe Price."
"I'll have to keep an eye out," Ms. Waters said with a wink. Then she furrowed her brow in thought. "Wait, Chloe Price...that does sound familiar. Where have I heard that before?"
Ah, right. I'm sure she was fully debriefed.
"Oh," Max bared her teeth awkwardly, "you probably heard she was the one who was...uh, shot in the bathroom?"
"Holy shit," Ms. Waters said, her eyes going wide, "that's crazy! God, I still can't believe all of that happened. So horrible. I'm so glad to hear she's okay!" She took in a small, sharp breath and squinted. "I just cursed, huh?"
"You did," Max giggled. "Don't worry, I won't tell anybody." She looked left and right, despite there being no one else in the room. "Not a fucking soul," she whispered.
"Ooooh!" Ms. Waters laughed, "okay, tit for tat. That's fair. I'll let that one slide and we can keep all of it our little secret."
"Heh, deal," Max said with a smirk. "Do, uh, you have plans for the spring break?"
It's still hard to imagine teachers...living lives outside of school.
"Oh, not a lot," she said. "Mostly rest... Teaching is very tiring." She was sure to add another wink, which seemed to be one of her 'things.'
"I can imagine," Max responded. "I'm sure it's hard dealing with..." she turned and looked over the classroom, "this. Especially, um, you know..." Ms. Waters' face sunk into a dreary expression and Max cleared her throat. "I just wanted to let you know, you're doing a great job."
"Thanks," she said, her shoulders showing signs of relief, "I really am trying."
"It shows," Max said. "You have me excited about photography all over again. It's really nice."
"That means a lot to me." She smiled and pointed to Max's bag. "I love that you're doing the old, instant camera thing. I guess a lot of people probably find it pretentious, but I certainly know the appeal. It's unique." She gave Max a friendly push on the shoulder. "You're unique. I think you have bright things ahead of you. Just," she lazily swooped her hands through the air, "don't stress. Go with the flow. Ride the current. Eventually you'll reach that point where it all comes together."
How zen. Maybe I could use more zen.
"I sure hope so," Max chuckled. "Thanks. I hope you get all the rest you need."
"Oh, believe me, I'll be comatose for the first two days," Ms. Waters said, rubbing her hands together, "then I'll probably catch up on some of my shows. It'll be oh so divine."
"Sounds like a good plan to me," Max snickered. "Have a good break, Maddie."
"You too, Max," she said.
Max slowly meandered through the courtyard, taking in the signs of spring around her. The grass was lush, greener than it seemed it should be and soft, cradling each of her steps with cushion. Justin was riding in small circles on his skateboard, and he gave Max a subtle 'what's up' nod, which made her feel, to her embarrassment, cool to able to return. Hayden and Logan sat under the Tobanga, looking as relaxed and carefree as ever. Then she saw Stella and Alyssa sitting on the furthest bench, books in each of their hands as they talked.
Man, I should really get more into that book club they have. It's good to broaden my geek horizons.
"Hey, Max!" Warren said, coming out of the dorm with Brooke in tow. He hurried over, stopping with a tiny hop that landed right in front of her. "What's up? Getting ready to leave?"
"Yeah, I'm going to pack right now," she said. "What about you guys?"
"I won't get out of here until tomorrow," Warren replied. "But that's okay, I have big plans for this break!"
"Oh, do you?" Max asked with a tint of amusement.
Gonna marathon all two hundred season of Doctor Who?
"We're going to the Portland Aquarium," Brooke said, smiling with excitement. "I've never been, but I love ocean life. They discover new species all the time and it's just so...mysterious." She snorted happily. "It's basically a science freak's dream."
"That does sound very cool," Max said. "I've thought before about how fun it'd be to photograph that sort of thing. There's this series on sea turtles that I love, they look so majestic. Like you can see how they move even in a still image."
Aaaand imagine them talking in surfer slang. Surf's up.
"You could use your skills for science," Warren said. "Forget all that American Beauty plastic bag crap, I mean...you could help make discoveries!"
"Hey, I like my 'plastic bag crap' thank you very much," Max chided. She looked up at the dormitories and released a small huff. "Okay, I really do need to get in there and pack. Chloe's dying to come pick me up. If I don't see you guys, have a nice vacation."
"You too," Brooke replied.
"Yeah," Warren said, "text to let me know you get there safe?"
"Will do, son," Max laughed as she walked away.
As Max made her way to her room, she stopped outside of Kate's door and frowned. She felt terrible that, not only did she keep something so serious from her, but that she and Chloe both laughed about it at the time. Then Sean Prescott, as it seemed was the Prescotts style, showed up to ruin things. Not that it justified her actions, but she'd be lying if she said she wouldn't have preferred it remaining a secret. Sadly, she entered her room.
She'd only been packing for ten minutes or so before she thought it'd be a better use of her time to kill two birds with one stone. She sent her parents a text and received a response just a minute later. Accidentally stepping into a dirty pair of jeans on the floor, she hobbled over to the laptop and opened Skype. She kicked her leg behind her to get rid of the pants and clicked the small phone icon. After a second, the screen opened up to reveal her mother.
"Hey sweetie!" she said, waving at the camera, "you almost ready!?"
So fucking ready!
"Yup! Just need to finish packing," Max responded with chuckle, holding up the empty suitcase.
"Procrastinating... You definitely get that from me," her mother said. "But, oh, we're just so excited to see you!" She brought her hands to her chest and closed her eyes. "We've missed you so, so much. And I can't wait to see Chloe again after all this time!"
"She's freaking out about it," Max laughed, shoveling clothes into the suitcase with little care.
"Why is she freaking out?" Vanessa asked.
"I don't know. She thinks you guys are going to like...hate her or something?" Max turned to the camera and shrugged. "It sounds silly, but then again, I was the same way with Joyce."
I believe the word 'harlot' came up...
"Oh gosh," her mother rolled her eyes, "we do not hate her! We love her! She's our Chloe!"
My Chloe.
"I've tried telling her that!" Max pondered for a moment before tossing another shirt into the suitcase. "It's kind of cute, though. She's so cocksure about a million and one things, but when she does get anxious it's like...adorable."
"She does sound like she has the whole puppy dog thing going on," Vanessa said with a smile. "I never expected little Chloe to turn into such a...badass." She fluttered her hair over her shoulder. "I wish I were brave enough to dye my hair like that."
Mom might actually look good with some color in her hair.
"No time like the present, Mom," Max snickered. "Hey, do I need to bring anything specific? I'm kind of just...throwing clothes in here."
"Just open arms ready for hugging!" Her mother gave an opened mouth smile, aware of how corny it sounded.
"Ugh, Mom," Max groaned. "Yes, I'll be sure to pack that. But is there anything else?"
"Mmn," Vanessa looked around her, "no, I don't think so. Your father would probably appreciate stealing any baked goods Joyce has lying around."
"I'll see what I can do," Max laughed. "Alright, let me finish up here. I'll let you guys know when we leave tomorrow."
"Sounds good!" her mother said.
"Give Pop my hugs. Love you, Mom." She waved at the screen.
"Love you too, honey!" She made a kissy face, and Max ended the call with a loving roll of her eyes.
Okay, okay. Just a little bit more and then...try to figure things out with Kate. God, if you're there, I could really use a hand on this one.
"Kate?" Max asked, knocking quietly on the girl's door.
"You can come in," she responded. Max sighed and opened the door and found Kate sitting at her desk.
"Hey," she said, cautiously approaching her from behind. "What are you up to?" She cringed.
Don't try to pretend like everything's cool, you ass.
"I'm just checking some last minute stuff before my dad gets here," Kate said. "I'm a little nervous about going back home. Everything has settled down, but obviously there's kind of a bigger issue I need to deal with. And Victoria won't even be here."
I didn't expect her to actually answer that.
"You shouldn't feel pressured to say anything you think might cause trouble," Max said. "I know that it's a really...messy situation. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Kate shrugged, then turned in her chair to look at Max, "Vic's been acting kind of strange since the other night. I think...I really upset her."
"It...uh, okay, I admit it might have been a bit cold." Max winced as she said it. "I know that she understands, but I don't think that makes it hurt any less." She nodded her head in realization, then exhaled somberly. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you."
Here we go...
"Why didn't you?" Kate asked.
"I don't know. We just..." Max shook her head and held her hand out, "we didn't even think about it until we were all there. He's a good guy. I don't think either of us even associate him with that, you know? And then once we were there, it just seemed like a bad time to bring it up."
"You could have told me after," Kate said, keeping Max's eyes locked with her own. Again, part of her wished she'd just look angry instead of wearing that 'I'm trying to understand' face.
Disappointment hurts so much more than anger.
"I know," Max admitted. "It's no excuse. We're supposed to be friends and we fucked up really bad. I mean, I understand if you hate us."
"Oh come on," Kate said, an ember of anger in her voice, "everyone's always expecting me to hate them. It's like you guys don't know me at all. Of course I don't hate you. I love you. Both of you. You're my best friends. You saved my fucking life!"
Aw man, I've only heard her say that once before. I guess I get the anger as well as the disappointment.
"I...I don't know what to say," Max said, looking at the floor. "We don't have an excuse. I guess we just wanted to protect you."
That's been a recurring theme lately.
"You do protect me," she replied. "Every single day! You don't think I can understand that Frank didn't know what the drugs were being used for? Please, give me some credit, Max."
"You're right." Max took a seat on Kate's couch and buried her face in her hands. "I don't know. I'm sorry."
"Does Frank know?" she asked. Max looked up and screwed one eye shut guiltily. "That...sucks. What did he say?"
Fuck, please don't be compassionate now, Kate. That just makes this worse.
"I mean, he feels horrible. I don't...I don't know if you know this, but he and Rachel had a thing." Max nervously ran a hand through her hair. "He helped kill the girl he loved."
"That's...awful," Kate said, closing her eyes, "that poor man."
"That's why he wanted to help you with the whole mom explosion thing," Max said. "He's been asking after you a lot."
"That's sweet of him." Kate leaned forward and seemed to contemplate something. "I know he wasn't doing good things. Selling drugs isn't okay. But I can understand that sometimes life just puts you in a position that you feel trapped in." With a bit of exasperation, she gestured over her shoulder to Victoria's room. "I know you both helped him get a job at The Two Whales. He's trying to make things right."
"Yes, he is." Max nodded. "He's doing so well lately. I'm really proud of him." She angled her eyes upward and scrunched her lips to the side. "So...you're not angry at him?"
"I'm angry at you," she said, crinkling her brow. The words felt like a punch to the gut. "Max, we're...we all have something really special. I don't know if you stop to think about it like I do." She dragged a knuckle under one of her eyes, only furthering the feeling of cement in Max's stomach. "I was drugged and assaulted. He took pictures of me, Max. Pictures that a room full of people will look at over and over again when deciding his fate." She stood up and hurried to the box of tissues on the dresser. "But not only me, we were all affected. You, me, Chloe, Victoria... We are all attached to this thing. We're bonded for life over it." She shrugged with a look of desperation. "We have to be honest with each other. We have to be real. I don't mean little things, little lies that everyone tells, but for things that matter, you owe me honesty."
You're right, Kate. Man, I feel like shit.
"Kate..." Max shook her head and got to her feet.
"If you had just talked to me," Kate said, frustration clear in her voice. "That's why I'm mad. That's why I'm hurt. That you felt you couldn't just talk to me. I thought I at least earned that from you."
"That's...not what it was," Max said, her voice slinking quieter. "We just didn't think about it. It was just us being stupid."
"I just don't want to feel like I'm overestimating how much we mean to each other," Kate said, wiping her eyes with the tissue.
What? No. No way.
"Kate, god, no," Max said, taking a step toward her. "Kate, we love you so much. You have no idea what I'd go through to make sure you were safe." She wrapped her arms around her in a hug. "I'd stop everything to help." Kate trembled in her arms and released a pained whimper, then sobbed a moment later as she clutched Max tightly.
"I know. I do know," she said, crying freely, "it just hurt that you'd keep it from me. I hope you don't feel like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, it just... I look up to you so much. You're my hero."
"Shh," Max rubbed her back and rocked her side to side, "you've got it backwards. You're the hero. Your smile is like...god, I don't even know. I'd eat a thousand forbidden apples to make it happen. Just like, get so evicted from Eden."
"It was probably a pomegranate," Kate laughed, pulling out of the hug and wiping her eyes once again.
"What, really?" Max asked. She scowled. "I don't...like pomegranates. Is five hundred okay?"
"I think that works," Kate nodded, sobbing again as she laughed.
"Okay, good," Max chuckled. She leaned forward to look in Kate's eyes. "Are we...okay?"
Please say yes.
"We're okay," she said. "We always were okay. I wouldn't let that end our friendship. I just wanted you to understand."
"I do," Max said. "I really do. And I'm sorry again. From now on, honesty all the way."
"Thanks, Max." Kate hugged her once more, nuzzling into her shoulder. "You're the best."
"Nah, that's you," Max said. "You have a good break, okay? Call me or Chloe anytime if you need us. We're here for you. Always."
"I will." Kate released a gust of breath. "Oh man, I'm so tired now. I think I need to lie down for a nap. All that 'stern Kate' action made me dizzy for a second there."
"I imagine you're not used to getting all assertive," Max laughed, tucking a strand of Kate's hair behind her ear. "I'll let you get a bit of rest. And I'll see you in just two short weeks, okay?"
"Okay." Kate gave her one final hug, then sat down on the bed. Smiling and feeling a huge weight lifted off her shoulders, Max made for the door.
Well, fuck. Taylor was right.
"Alright, I sent her a really long text," Chloe said, slipping into bed next to Max, "my thumbs hurt."
"I'd say that's the least you could do," Max giggled, snuggling up to her.
"Yeah, you got that right..." Chloe tapped Max on the stomach, "hey, thanks for doing all the heavy lifting on that. I really had no idea how to handle it."
"I'm sure you would've figured it out as it you went. That's basically what happened with me." Max yawned and kicked her feet out straight. "You ready for tomorrow?"
Like I don't already know the answer.
"Yes and noooo," Chloe snickered. "I don't know why I'm so fucking nervous."
"Because you're a dork." Max brought Chloe's fingers to her lips and kissed them. "It'll go away as soon as we get there. Promise."
"Cool, so just a long as fuck car ride to soak it all in, then," she laughed. Max whacked her on the shoulder.
"Oh, would you stop?" she scolded.
"Can't. Won't," Chloe laughed. "I don't know. I'm sure I'll shake it off, just like you said." She narrowed her eyes and a contemplative hum bounced around in her mouth. "Know what I can't shake off, though? That fucking doe."
The fucking doe is right.
"Yeeeah," Max exhaled and shook her head, "it's been wigging me out too."
"Like, okay," Chloe propped herself up on her elbow, "we know time travel is real and fucking crazy. Like, there's a big checkmark next to that. But...what the fuck is that doe?"
"I...have no clue," Max admitted. "It's like a ghost. A ghost doe."
"Yeah, a ghost doe. Doesn't it freak you out that we've been seeing some freaky-ass spirit doe and that's like..." she shook her head, "how much clothing do you have with does on it?" She huffed a frustrated growl left her throat. "And let's not forget the big, blue butterfly that happened to be the key to fixing everything." She wiggled her shoulder, drawing attention to her tattoo. "I don't know, man. I can't tell if we're fucking crazy."
"I wouldn't rule it out, honestly," Max said, nibbling her lip. "But we're functional. Functional crazy."
"What if he could see it, though?" Chloe asked.
She's been thinking about this a lot...
"I don't know." Max stroked Chloe's cheek softly. "I know that's a shitty answer, but I really don't." She shrugged. "Maybe he was looking at something on the ground and it was just a crazy coincidence."
"Yeah," Chloe mumbled, "maybe. I don't know. My head's been such a fucking mess lately."
"I know," Max said, sitting up to give her a kiss, "I know it's been hard. But starting tomorrow, we're going to be able to just try and forget about all that. No work, no school. Just you and me. Right?"
"Right," Chloe said, "and your scary parents."
"Oh dear lord in heaven," Max groaned. "I'm going to smother you with a pillow."
"Fuckin' do it," Chloe growled, grabbing tight hold of Max's shoulders and pressing her into the bed. "Do it, bitch."
Oooh, I love when you get all threatening about being threatened.
"I have to wait for you to be asleep," she replied calmly.
"Coward," Chloe scoffed, smiling impishly. Then, she grew quiet and lowered herself back onto the bed, resting her head on Max's chest. "Hey, I know I say this kind of a lot, but...I'm so happy you came back. I missed you so much."
"I missed you," Max said, stroking her hair, "but I'm here now. And it's seriously the best. Beyond my wildest dreams."
"Uh huh." Chloe held her closer, nestling her cheek into Max's breast. "You're worth every single bad one. I'd have a million more just so this could be real."
That's sweet but...man. I hate it.
"Luckily," Max said, relief on her face, "that's not necessary. It's real right now. Let's not tempt the fates for more bad dreams."
"Psht," Chloe smirked, "fuck the fates. Beat 'em once, we'll beat 'em again."