Note: This was written as a "What-If" story, in response to the whole KeiKashi wedding prompt Lang did a little while back. I never thought I would write this, but since the idea was lurking in my head for a long time, I felt like I needed to.

The last bit of Angst gracing Small Sparkles, hopefully.

I'm guessing you're asking "because why? Why did you feel like this to the point of writing?"

Well. For those of you following me, you might've heard how Tomoko in S&S originally was, at one point, in consideration for death at Orochimaru's hands. The whole KeiKashi wedding thing would be a catalyst, unfortunately enough, and well, I needed to write this to prove to myself that's not going to happen with me as the writer ever and I needed to get this last bit off my chest as a way of moving on. The whole "Tomoko-death-at-Orochimaru" was a result of my innermost insecurities about my and Lang's initial friendship in the early S&S days, and my social anxiety in general, so writing how it won't happen is a way of nailing that idea in its coffin for good.

So, this.

It's also why the DR thing is kinda on a indefinite hiatus/never being continued ever, because the angst that was in there was too big of a wallop to the point of Lang getting worried about my mental health.

Songs referenced in this whole "What-If" thing include marasy's piano cover of Madoka Magica's Connect and Mermaid Melody's Kibou no Kaneoto, in that order.

The theme for this specific thing though? Madoka's And I'm Home. The original and/or Akio Scenro's piano version work just fine.

Trigger Warnings are in order for implied anxiety, suicide ideation, death, and depression.

And please, for anyone who feels suicidal, please contact a help hotline or a loved one as soon as you can. You deserve to be here. Just as much as anyone else does.

I wrote this to give that original bad ending of S&S some closure and that sad part of Tomoko a happy ending. You all deserve a happy ending too.

Sparkle 28: Not the Last

"Do you, Hatake Kakashi, take this woman as your bride?"

Isobu, conducting the ceremony like the proud Tailed Beast he was.

"I do."

These two had definitely changed for the better from the ninja who glared at each other in my living room so long ago.

"And do you, Gekkō Keisuke, take this man as your husband?"

"I do."

We were all grown up, huh. I never would have thought two decades ago that Kei would ever say such a thing. But here we were.

Isobu's large arms, covered in sand and seawater, landed on each side of the soon-to-be married couple with gentle grace, a low rumble sounding in his throat. The eight ninken lined up near the platform were all wagging their tails, and I didn't miss how Isobu's large eye met my stare for a moment as he lowered himself to eye level with the rest of the audience. "Then you may kiss. And anyone who would dare voice any objections will not do so, or I will eat them."

I made sure to smile as brightly as I could back at the Tailed Beast while holding back the urge to cry.

Rin nudged me softly while wiping a happy tear from her eye. "Beautiful. Don't you think so, Tomo-chan?"

"Yeah," I said softly. My heart beat against my chest. "It is. I'm glad I got to see this."

My mind already knew that it might be the last.

No one minded my song choices for Kei and Kakashi's wedding. A full piano rendition of Connect, because of course I had to honor my roots, and then singing Kibou no Kaneoto.

"Sing this last song…"

The Sound of the Bells of Hope. Love Goes On, was the subtitle.

I wished for so many years that my friends could be happy. And here they were.

Obito and Rin, smiling at one another while dancing on the dance floor.

Gai, crying tears of joy when Genma caught the bouquet in front of Raido.

And my best friends. Kei and Kakashi. They were married, they were smiling, and they were laughing.

They all were happy.

It was why I decided this would be my last concert. My last performance as the Civilian Pianist.

They didn't need me anymore. It was obvious they all were focused on each other.

So, my job was done, wasn't it?

My stomach shook from butterflies, but by the time I sang the last verse and stepped off the stage past all the loud applause, clutching my Wayfinder necklace all the while, Isobu was turning an eye at me again. Did he notice?

"Tomoko," he rumbled, almost too quiet from the sound to be his normal conversational tone. "Where are you going?"

He did notice. Of course.

I never thought in my entire life that I would have the honor of being called by name by Isobu himself. Or the fact that he would want to talk with me without wanting to stomp on me like the insect I was compared to him. Still, I put on a smile and nodded in his direction as a sign of acknowledgement. I heard him. "For a walk, Isobu-san. All the performing and party antics can get to someone, see."

"Hm," he said softly, and I could've sworn I heard a huff of irritation. Or was it another one of my hopeless delusions? "By yourself?"

I nodded again. "I…I just need to be alone for a while in the fresh air, Isobu-san. I'll be okay."

Yet again, my stomach churned as a dark part of my mind said, No, you're not. You'll never be okay.

Why now?

That large red-yellow-ringed eye continued to stare at me, almost disbelievingly.

He wasn't supposed to be looking at me like that. Not at me.

I held back the urge to reach out towards him, instead smiling. "Really, Isobu-san. If Kei asks, I just went out for a walk. I'll be alright."

You liar.

Isobu stared at me for a few more moments before he took a step towards me, and I wasn't expecting the almost gentle nudge against my head, rustling my long hair. "Alright. But if anything happens—"

"I'll call you or Kei or the other ninja," I said, feeling a truer smile start to form on my lips. "I know. Thank you, Isobu-san."

The Three-Tails pulled back to stare at me again, and I could've sworn I saw understanding in the red-yellow rings. "Do not stray far."

I finally decided to put a hand on one of his many horns, still smiling. "I won't."

My stomach churned as my chakra curled up in on itself, hiding. You goddamn liar, Tomoko. You goddamn liar.

Yet again, I wished I could hear Hisako's voice.

Yet again, I wished someone could save me.

The walk to the top of Hokage Mountain wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Despite my wearing heels. Sure, my heels were short ones, actually hitting a bare inch of height, but a part of me expected that I would be suffering from cramps or foot blisters by the time I could see the entirety of Konohagakure.

The moon was already high in the horizon, shining down on the rocks beneath, and I could already see how there was no railing at the cliff.

My heart beat again.

They're…they're going to be okay, right? Right?

Silence greeted my mind yet again.

I walked over to the cliff. Looking down, I could see almost everything. The Hokage Tower, the Academy, the shopping district, and the many stone faces of the past four Hokage, Minato-san included.

This was my home. This is my home.

I've done enough, haven't I?

I raised a foot past the cliff's edge for a moment before immediately drawing back in a cold sweat.

The air felt cold. Chilly and desolate.

What the—what the fuck am I thinking?! I can't die… I can't. Everyone would—

Team Minato's faces flashed through my mind. They looked happy. They were happy.

…Weren't they?

The hem of my blue dress fluttered in the wind as it blew against my back.

But…I did everything I could…didn't I? Should I go now?

You should, that dark part of me whispered.

But not like this. I just thought of leaving the village…like a vagabond, so I could help others…not…not…

You need to die now, though. It's all over. They don't need you.

No, no, nononono, I—

My thoughts were already remembering pools of red.

I don't want to go like this!

"TOMO!"

It was as if the darkness had stopped. As if all time had stopped. The stars were shining in the sky again, and the moon seemed almost brighter.

My heart leapt in my chest as the first tear started budding in my eye. I couldn't even get the chance to whip my head around before a hand firmly grabbed my forearm, and I was getting pulled back. I didn't even realize we had crashed onto the gravel of the mountain until I was staring at the inside of a suit jacket, and someone was huffing above my head.

"Thank god," they went harshly before another hand landed on the back of my hair and pulled me closer into the hug.

I knew this presence. I knew this voice. They were supposed to be at the wedding. They weren't supposed to be here.

"K-Kei?" My voice came out hoarse, raw.

My reincarnation buddy didn't respond, only gripping my arm tighter as the hand on my head went down to the small of my back, winding around my waist to pull me upright, squeezing. Her breath came out short and almost ragged above my hair, and my heart was still beating hard.

"Kei…" My left, ungrabbed hand, hesitantly reached up to tug at the hem of her jacket. She wasn't supposed to be here. She was supposed to be with Kakashi and the others, celebrating her own goddamn wedding. She wasn't supposed to be here… "Kei, why…"

"Isobu told me you went out, and I got a bad feeling," was the short and terse reply, and she pulled back to stare at me with hard, almost shocked eyes. What? "Tomo, why were you at the fucking cliff? If you walked any further—" she bit her lip as she slowly let go of my right forearm, hand going to cover her face. "Tomoko, you could've died."

It was as if hot coals were shoved down my throat.

I didn't want to die. I didn't want to go, but…

When my friends finally found love, where would I be?

"I…" Tears were already starting to bubble up in my eyes as my voice cracked. I tried to smile, but seeing the bride — my reincarnation buddy — like this… She was supposed to be happy. "I just thought…I just thought that my job was done. That I could go, a-and leave you all be so you could be okay without me. I-I wasn't meaning to jump, if that's what you were thinking."

"Tomoko," Kei's voice turned hard again, this time with disbelief as she lowered her hand from her face to stare at me. "I saw you lift that foot of yours over the rock. That's suicide, or suicide ideation if you ask me."

This time, what felt like cold water splashed over me. "I-I didn't…I…"

When did my thoughts start leading me to nearly dying like Vy, without even saying goodbye?

I wasn't expecting Kei's stare to turn soft in my direction. "Tomoko, what's wrong? Where'd I screw up? Where'd we go wrong?"

What?

The last straw was everyone else starting to run into the area too, sandals almost beating into the gravel as they approached.

"Tomoko?" Kakashi's voice. He was here.

"Tomo-chan!" Ricchan, no, Rin — she was here too.

"Kei, did you find her?!" Obi… of course…

"Hime!"

Papa…

Tears were already blurring my vision as a shaky smile came over my face. "I-I…I…"

A calloused hand reached over to touch my cheek, just as the first tear started trickling down. "What is it, Tomo?"

Kei, you absolute dork. It had to be you. You always saved me, didn't you…

Even now…

The words came out in-between the start of gross-sounding sobs as I covered my face with my hands. My hair was sticking to my face, my heart wasn't letting up in its marathon, and I just didn't know whether this was a dream or reality anymore. But they were here, and my friends needed answers. I wanted out of this darkness now. "Kei, I-I think I'm lonely and, and kinda anxious a-and maybe suicidal, from the looks of it, a-and I need help. I don't know anymore."

The only response I got was another tight hug as my loved ones started crowding around me. "We can do that, Tomoko." A hand started going through my hair as people started joining into the group hug. "We can do that. You're never going to be alone."

That did it.

For the first time in a long time, I started bawling like a baby.

Even with her wedding suit getting soaked, Kei never let go.

No one else did either.

I clung to them, and they let me.

This was real.

And every time I wailed, the tight, combined grip on me reminded me of that.