AN: Hello dear readers! First of all, I know I've been gone forever… and you may not even be reading any more, but if you are, thank you!
Also, I want to let you know that you should never underestimate the power of leaving comments on fics! I'd all but given up on this story until I received a few comments this past week and it made me want to write this verse again!
With that being said, I know the length of time between chapters has lost me readers, but for those of you still out there here is some comfort to ease the hurt of the last chapter. Thanks for your patience.
More to come!
Kurt didn't even move from his curled up position on the bed. He should sit up, or turn towards the sound of Blaine's voice or try – somehow – to cover himself. Instead he just laid there as he heard Blaine pad softly into the room. Blaine flipped on the bright overhead light and Kurt winced.
"Leave it off," He groaned. Kurt wasn't sure why, but something about being tied up and bruised in bright light made it more real. The light immediately turned back off, now just the warm low light of a couple of lamps lighting the space.
He heard rather that saw Blaine move to the bed and set something down on it, "Are you okay?"
Kurt just let out a dark laugh.
"No, sorry. Dumb question." Blaine's voice was soft and calm, "I'm going to untie your hands now, okay?"
"Thank you." Kurt said and then felt Blaine's hands gently start untying the binds behind Kurt's back.
"I'm going to take this choker off too?" It was a question. Blaine wasn't going to touch any part of Kurt without permission.
"Yes, please."
Kurt felt the choker and the silky fabric that had been holding his hands behind his back slip away. Kurt took a deep breath and finally moved to sit up, hissing loudly as he realized sitting hurt. He moved so that he was sitting more on his knees taking the pressure off his tender ass cheeks. Blaine was standing in front of him with wide, sad eyes holding the red choker and a long strip of red ribbon in his hands.
"I'm sorry." He said so softly it was hard for Kurt to hear him.
"You have nothing to apologize for." Kurt slipped off the bed with another wince and wiping his face, though his tears had all but dried at this point. Blaine nodded and reached for the robed he'd laid out on the bed, holding it out, and looking away.
Blaine never looked at Kurt when Kurt was naked. Well, he did, he would make eye contact sometimes, and he had to have seen Kurt's naked body multiple times, but he never looked. Blaine turned his head politely away now as Kurt slipped into the silk robe, the cool fabric feeling good against his overheated skin.
"That was…." Kurt took a shaky breath. "I hated that."
Blaine nodded again, looking down at his shoes. "I'm sorry." He repeated.
"You don't need to be." Kurt said rubbing his head. His whole body ached and he had a headache as well.
"I should have found out what he wanted, what he was going to do."
"Could you have stopped it from happening?"
Blaine glanced up to him and shook his head, "No."
Kurt shrugged, "Me either. And I'm the one that signed on for this. He didn't do anything he wasn't allowed to do." Kurt knew that was true, but it didn't stop the white hot anger he felt in the pit of his stomach against William Schue. He hated him. What a disgusting, twisted, pervert.
"I could…" Blaine bit his lip and looked down seemingly contemplating something before looking up at Kurt again. "I could try to find out more about the client and tell you about them as we walk here. If that would help."
Kurt thought about it a moment and then nodded, "Yeah… yes. I mean it won't stop them from doing whatever they want, but part of the problem tonight was that I was caught completely off guard." Kurt reflexively wiped his face again. He meant what had promised himself. He would never cry in front of a client again.
"I'll do my best to have more information for you in the future. Anything I can do to help." Blaine's voice was eager but tinged with sadness as if he also hated what happened to Kurt.
"Thank you. Right now all I want is to get out of the terrible room and get cleaned up." Kurt wanted to sound brave but his voice trembled a little.
Blaine nodded and led Kurt out of the room and into the hallway. Kurt knew the way by now, but it was Blaine's job to be around in case Kurt needed something.
"Do you know if any of the other guys are finished yet?"
"Yes, I think Luke and maybe Elliot are in the locker room."
Kurt stopped walking as his stomach dropped thinking about the red and bruised mess his ass must be and knowing the other boys would see it and know. They would be sympathetic, but Kurt didn't want that. He didn't want anyone to see him like this.
"Kurt?" Blaine had stopped walking as well and waited for him.
"I… I don't want…," Kurt sighed and squared his shoulders, might as well get this over with, "It doesn't really matter what I want. Lead on."
"Um…." Blaine looked around the empty hallway as if he and Kurt weren't alone. "The support locker room would be empty at this time."
"What's that?"
"Um…" Blaine bit his lip and glanced down not making eye contact, which Kurt knew Blaine did when nervous, "Where the shadows shower? We could… I could take you there instead."
Kurt's heart leapt, oh god, what he would give for a private shower right now. "Is that allowed?"
"Not strictly, but no one would know."
"I don't want to get you in trouble."
"You wouldn't."
"Okay, then yes. Yes, I would be so grateful." Kurt let out a little relieved laugh and almost felt like crying, but he didn't.
Blaine just nodded he kept walking toward the ponies' locker room and stopped outside the door. "Wait here."
Kurt did what he was told as moments later Blaine came out with Kurt's personal toiletry kit.
Kurt couldn't help but smile, he hadn't even though of that. He could use someone else's items in a jam, but there was a deep comfort in having his own things. "Blaine, you are amazing."
A slight blush rose on Blaine's cheeks but he didn't say anything as he continued walking down the hallway. They past the ponies' living quarters and came to a door marked, "Staff Only". Blaine entered a code into the number pad on the side of the door and Kurt heard it unlock. Blaine led them through until they reached another locker room. It was smaller and not as modern and where Kurt usually showered, but it was clean and most importantly, empty.
"There are towels and washcloths," Blaine said pointing to a shelf, "And of course your pajamas are in your kit as usual. I'll wait outside?"
"Yes. Thank you." Kurt almost wanted to lean in and give Blaine a hug he was so full of gratitude, but Blaine was so timid and skittish he wasn't sure a hug would be welcome. Instead he reached out and squeezed Blaine's arm as he passed him and Blaine slipped out the door.
The showers here were open and made for several people just like his normal locker room, but not for as many people. Kurt didn't mind the openness of the showers, he was alone that was what mattered. He turned the shower on to warm and just stood under the stream of water for a long moment. He stared at his feet and the water swirling down the drain for an extended amount of time before he grabbed a washcloth and slowly but toughly washed William Schue off of him. Then he washed his hair, put in some conditioner and let it sit as he washed his skin again, head to toe. He could still feel William's hands on him and it was making him feel a little sick. He was in the shower so long the water started going cold.
Kurt swore under his breath and turned the water off. He didn't want Blaine to get in trouble if any of the shadows went to shower that evening and had no hot water left.
He dried his hair and skin with a big towel, not as soft as the towels the ponies had, but perfectly usable, and slipped on his pajamas. Then did a very condensed version of his regular facial routine, brushed his teeth and then headed back to the hallway. Toiletry kit in hand and robe folded neatly. He'd usually toss that in the dirty clothes bin, but knew better than to leave a Carousel robe in the support showers.
Blaine was sitting on the floor in the hallway leaning up against a wall.
"I'm sorry that took so long. I… it took a while to feel clean."
Blaine looked up at him, his bright golden eyes round as he nodded. "Do you feel any better now?" He asked as he stood.
"Much." Kurt said. It was true, he did feel better even though his heart was tight in his chest, his ass still hurt a great deal, and his anger was still a low simmer.
"I'll bring some cream to you room." Blaine said as he led him back down the corridor.
"Cream?"
"For your… um… your…," Blaine's face had turned bright red and that more than anything clued Kurt in to what he was getting at.
"For my ass, Blaine?"
"… yes."
"Blaine, you've seen it, Marley has seen it, Sebastian and Baloo have seen it, strangers have seen it. Tonight an idiot abused it. I think it is okay if you mention it." Kurt made sure to smile at Blaine so he knew he wasn't chastising him.
"Right. Of course. I'll bring a cream you can use on your ass," Blaine smiled, "To help with the bruising. It will ease the pain as well."
"You are heaven sent." Kurt sighed, "Anything that will help it not feel like it's on fire would be greatly appreciated. I don't care much about the bruising."
"You should." Blaine said quietly as they neared Kurt's room.
"Why? Because it spoils my porcelain skin and clients wouldn't like that?" Kurt knew he sounded bitter, but at the moment he didn't really care about making clients happy.
"No… because…" Blaine looked at Kurt and then looked down.
"Blaine, you can say whatever you want to me. You don't have to worry. Besides you know more about this place than I do and I value your expertise."
Blaine nodded and then looked Kurt square in the eyes. "You don't want anyone picking you because of the bruises. Anyone that wants you for that is only going to hurt you more."
Kurt stopped walking and leaned wearily against the nearest wall, "Jesus." His stomach plummeted. He hadn't thought of that. "This place is fucked up." He could feel his eyes prickle with tears but blinked quickly and didn't let them fall. "Three weeks. I've only been here three weeks. How am I going to survive eight months?"
"You could leave, Kurt. They can't force you to stay."
"Can't they?" Kurt ran his hands down his face with a humorless chuckle. "If I leave now they don't have to pay me anything. Weeks of being fucked by strangers and I wouldn't get a cent if I left before my contract is up. Plus, they would charge me for the room and board. If I left now I'd owe Pantone money."
Blaine didn't respond to that.
"It's my own fault. I should have never come to this place. My father would be so disappointed in me."
Again Blaine didn't say anything though it looked like he wanted too.
"You still think I should just leave?"
Blaine slowly nodded.
Kurt sighed, stood up straight and started walking again. Blaine was probably right, but leaving now meant giving up all his dreams, plus it would put him in debt. He was too tired to make any decisions now. He just wanted to sleep.
They reached Kurt's room and Blaine took the robe and toiletry kit. "The medicine pantry is just around the corner." He gave Kurt a sweet smile. "I'll be right back."
Once in his room Kurt threw himself down on the bed, laying on his front and hugging his pillow to him. He was going to have to sleep like this or on his side for a little while. He worried about the bruises after what Blaine said and wondered if Marley could cover them with some makeup?
It wasn't long before there was a light knock on the door, Kurt was too tired to move so he just called for Blaine to come in. Blaine entered carrying a tray that he sat down on the bed stand.
"Water and tea, I didn't know if you might want something warm to drink before bed. And some Advil and the cream."
Kurt looked at the tray and then up to Blaine, appreciation making his chest feel warm.
"Are all the shadows as sweet as you?"
Blaine blushed, "I'm just doing my job."
Kurt started to sit up but winced in pain at the movement before he decided to just roll to his side so he could see Blaine better, "Yes, but you do it with such kindness."
Blaine just shrugged.
"How did you end up here, Blaine? How does someone like you end up working for a place like Pantone?"
Blaine sighed and crouched down so he was on eye level with Kurt. "Someone like me? You don't really know me, Kurt."
"I'd like to know you better."
Blaine just worried his lip and didn't answer.
"Do you like working here?"
Blaine furrowed his brow and was silent for a moment. Kurt waited, it seemed like Blaine might answer this, he was just thinking it through.
"I'm glad I get to help people like you, but I don't think most people with a conscience like working here."
"So you do it out of the goodness of your heart?" Kurt smiled, only half joking. He really did want to know what made Blaine tick. Before Blaine cold respond Kurt had to stifle a big yawn, he was suddenly feeling how drained he really was. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He would make due with just getting some sleep.
Blaine stood back up, "Maybe I'll tell you a story about me someday. Right now you need rest." He picked up the cream from the tray, "Use this before you fall asleep."
"Yes, doctor Blaine." Kurt said with a weak salute. In fact, he was feeling so tired if he didn't make himself get up right then he'd fall asleep before using the cream. He groaned as he got up from bed, "This is going to hurt a lot more tomorrow isn't it?"
"I'll bring more Advil in the morning."
Kurt nodded and started to pull down his pajama bottoms, not even thinking about it, just ready to use the ointment and fall asleep.
Blaine made a sharp surprised sound and then turned away… as if he hadn't seen Kurt naked and covered in cum almost daily. It was sweet though, Kurt didn't mind how much Blaine tried to protect his privacy.
Blaine headed to the door, but paused on his way out, not turning around as he whispered. "Goodnight, Kurt."
"Goodnight, Blaine" Kurt said as his friend left the room.
Kurt squirted out some of the cream and let out a moan as he smoothed to cold balm over his burning ass. God that felt good, and it was a little numbing as well which was a relief. Kurt wiped his hand off on a hand towel Blaine had also thought to bring and then popped the Advil in his mouth before falling into bed again.
It didn't take long for him to fall asleep, his body felt heavy and his heart ached. He didn't know how long he was asleep before the nightmares came. Dark indiscernible figures around him, holding him down, a cruel laugh in the background… maybe Sebastian, and then William's voice cat-calling him. "You've been a naughty boy haven't you?"
Kurt woke up with a shout, his back and ass hurting and his cheeks wet with tears. He realized he was sitting, which only cause the pain to intensify, and then slumped back down to the bed wiping his eyes with an arm. It wasn't the first time he'd had nightmares here. David has been right about the night times being the worst. Kurt took a few deep calming breaths and willed himself not to freak out. Things would seem better in the morning. Things would seem better in the morning. Things would seem better in the morning.
The morning meant coffee, and conversation with the other ponies, and seeing Blaine again. Kurt would be oaky. Things would seem better in the morning.