Love fucking sucks. Plain as shit. There isn't anything you can do to stop it, or even pick who it is. It's always inconvenient. Not that I've ever been great with my emotions or anything. I will tell you it sucks when you actually try to open up and get rejected. Not that I expect anyone to automatically accept my feelings. It's probably strange seeing me vulnerable in the first place. So I fucking get it, but it doesn't hurt any less.

I may not look like it, but I'm an emotional person. I'm just good at hiding it. I may be a little too good at too. It's hard to get close to anyone. Unless they are really persistent like Shitty Hair. He's honestly probably one of only true friends. I don't know why he tries so hard, but I guess whatever floats his boat. But don't get me started on that fucking nerd. There's just something about him that I just can't get over. I can't put my finger on it. He's really nice and tries to be my friend, but he just makes me feel weak. I know that I'm so much fucking stronger than he is, but I still feel like I'm inferior. I don't quite know how to explain it. It's probably not healthy for me to feel that way, but I'm trying.

It's already hard for me to open up as a friend, but when you throw any feelings of love into the mix it just gets so much more fucked up. I already come off as an ass and I know that I do. I don't know how to bring up my feelings without people making a big deal about it. The last thing I want is that fucking acid or invisible bitch hearing me. They don't fucking shut up. They would have a fucking field day if they heard I actually liked someone. That's one reason I don't ever say anything. And that has caused me some pain. I watched my first crush start to date the person I possibly dislike the most. That fucking nerd. I probably should've known that was going to happen anyway. They way they were always hanging out, and how they always fucking looked at each other. I shouldn't be too upset. I was to fucking afraid to tell her how I felt. I know Pink Cheeks probably wouldn't have felt the same, but it kills me that I didn't even tell her. Now she's with the nerd, and it does kind of fucking hurt. But that was my own fault. I eventually got over her; however it did take some time. I finally moved on.

Eventually, I started to fall for someone else. This was different. I fell hard. There was something about her that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I wasn't sure what about her drew me in so much. But I knew that I couldn't make the same mistake I made with Pink Cheeks. I had to tell her. Not that it would make a difference.

"Alright class, I'm letting you out early so you can work with your partners one last time before your presentations tomorrow. Make sure to use your time wisely!" Midnight said as she dismissed the class.

"Hell yeah!" Ashido fist bumped the air.

The rest of the class broke out into cheers as they all got their stuff together preparing to leave for the day. I roll my eyes at everyone. They would be excited to leave, because I know for sure they aren't going to work on their presentations. They are just going to go fuck around as usual. I'm not gonna lie though, I'm a little excited to have some extra time to work with my partner on our presentation. Not that we need anymore time to work on it. But I know how she is with school work. She's a perfectionist. A beautiful perfectionist. I get up and turn around to the back of the classroom to see the epitome of beauty still sitting at her desk finishing up some notes she was taking. I can't help a small smile form on my face. It left as quickly as it came when I saw that Icy Hot bastard turn and say something to her. She laughed. Fuck. I have to do something.

"Yo, Ponytail!" I bellowed as I walked to her desk. "Do you want to go over our presentation just to make sure we have everything we need. I figured we'd go ahead and get this presentation over with so we don't have to worry about it anymore."

"Oh of course. I would love to!" Yaoyorozu bounced her head as she spoke.

She's so fucking gorgeous.

"Cool. There's a new tea shop that recently opened in town that I've been wanting to try out, wanna go there?" I ask hoping she doesn't noticed how fucking nervous I am.

"That sounds lovely, Bakugo! I always love finding new little tea shops." She smiled brightly at me and I almost melted right then and there. "I'll see you later, Todoroki." She gave that bastard a smile as she picked her bag up.

Our walk there was pretty quiet besides the occasional random questions about our presentation. Boy was she a thorough person. I was so nervous. I could barely look at her as we walked. I didn't want her to see me blush because she would ask what was wrong and I wasn't ready to delve into that just yet. We finally made it to the tea shop and took a small booth in the back. We ordered the house special tea and a couple pastries, and we started to work on our presentation. Everything was just fine like I thought it would be. A couple hours pass and we start to pack up pleased with what we have. I need to act soon or my chance will pass. And I can't do that again…

"Yaoyorozu, can I talk to you before we leave?" I asked avoiding eye contact.

"Of course, Bakugo. Is everything ok?" She sounded a bit concerned.

That beautiful smile…

"Yeah, everything is fine. I just needed to talk to you, or really tell you something that is." I was so fucking nervous. But she just nodded for me to continue and gave me a warm smile that immediately calmed me down. "Ok, so I'm not going to be very good at this. Hell, I'm not usually one to talk about my feelings in general. But I know I need to tell you. Damn! I'm just rambling." I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves. I was finally able to look her straight in her eyes. "I really like you. I think you are a beautiful person inside and out. You are kind and generous. I don't know how you put up with most of our class, but I am always astounded at how genuinely sweet you are to everyone, especially me. I'm an ass but you still treat me so kindly. I love how much you strive to be better and better every day. When I'm around you I get so fucking nervous. Like I have some damn butterflies in my stomach or something. Your smile warms my heart and no matter how I'm feeling it makes me smile too. You make me want to be a better person, not just for everyone else but for myself. I'm sorry if this seemed sudden, but I needed to at least tell you."

There were a few moments of silence as she took what I said in. I didn't fucking blame her. It was a lot at once. Finally she looked at me with a sad smile. Fuck.

"Thank you for telling me how you feel, Bakugo. I do appreciate all of the nice things you said about me. It really does warm my heart. But I'm sorry that I don't return your feelings. I'm also actually dating someone…" She gently said trying not to break me any further than I already felt.

"It's Half and Half isn't it?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"Yes. I'm dating Todoroki. We've been dating for a little while. About two months actually."

Now that part was a shock. I didn't know they had been dating that long.

"I didn't know-" I started.

"It's alright. No one really knows actually besides Jiro, Midoriya, and now you. We've been keeping it on the downlow until after finals. I want everyone, especially Mina, Toru, and Kaminari, to focus on finals and not Todoroki and my relationship. I saw how they reacted to Ochaco and Midoriya, and didn't want that yet." She laughed.

"Oh I get that. I do want you to know that I'm not sorry for telling you though."

"And you shouldn't be. It's not good to hold your feelings in. It's unhealthy."

I smile at her understanding nature. She is a treasure. Icy Hot is a lucky fucker that's for sure.

"I know. I'm getting better. Anyway, we should probably head back since it's getting dark."

There was silence as we got our stuff together and while we walked to the door. As we stepped outside Yaoyorozu grabbed my arm.

"Bakugo, I still want to be your friend. Like your actual friend. I don't know if you'll get weird, but I do know that some people get really weird after something like this. I've had a couple people get really weird around me after I told them I wasn't interested the same way. I just didn't want things to get that way between us. I genuinely like your company." There were tears in her eyes.

"Of course I'm your friend, Ponytail. I'll always be your friend. You're fucking stuck with me in that aspect." I smirked.

"Good!" She let go of me and we started walking back to the dorms.

"Just know that if that Icy Hot bastard ever hurts you, I will thoroughly beat his ass."

She just started laughing. That's how the rest of the walk back to the dorms went.

I don't feel any better than I did with Pink Cheeks. Getting how I felt off my chest did help, but getting rejected was just as bad. Maybe even worse. I fucking hate love. I don't like not being in control. I still haven't fully gotten over Ponytail. Her and Half and Half finally went public and everyone went crazy. I already knew about it, but it still felt like a punch to the gut.

I hope this feeling goes away soon. This just fucking sucks. I hope I don't have to feel this way anymore for a long time. I don't have time for it. I have been better about opening up to others and sharing my feelings. Kirishima's been a big help with that. He always listens no matter how long it takes me to tell him what I'm feeling. He never judges me and always has that toothy grin plastered on his face. It's actually a relief to have someone to talk to that actually cares. Maybe I can eventually get over my hate for love.

Just maybe…