Hi there dear readers! I come to you (finally) with a new chapter. Just FYI there is a lot of explanation in this chapter, so I hope you aren't bored with the exposition. :) That means some answers! Not all, but a lot! Also just be warned there are some heavy conversation topics.

Thank you all who have stuck with this story, I appreciate you reading so much! Especially with my sporadic posting. And for those of you leaving comments, please know you are the reason I keep writing. 3

Kurt woke the next morning with a smile on his face and butterflies in his stomach. It took him a moment to realize why he felt this way, and then it came back to him. Blaine. Beautiful, wonderful, kind-hearted Blaine. Kurt's smile grew, and then just as quickly faded. His fuzzy morning mind forgetting for a second that his feelings for Blaine were complicated to say the least. He hated this, why couldn't he just fall for an amazing man and enjoy it?

This place ruined everything.

Kurt sat up with a wince and a groan. Sidney's use of the riding crop yesterday leaving him sorer than he'd realized. Kurt just sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, thinking. Wes was gone. Sebastian was gone. Sue Sylvester was running things, and today Blaine was finally going to tell Kurt the whole story about why he was here. It was a lot to take in.

Kurt eventually got up and got ready for the day, putting on a colorful floral shirt that Blaine had complimented once, and styling his hair to perfection. He met the other ponies in the cafeteria for breakfast, the mood was somber. Everyone missed Wes, but no one wanted to say anything about it. It wasn't as if a single one of them wished he was still here. David in particular seemed melancholy, just pushing around the oatmeal in his bowl and not eating.

"Hey," Kurt gave him a friendly nudge with his elbow, "Two more weeks and then you're out. You can do that."

"Yeah, I know… I…." David let out a deep sigh that said more about how tired and worn down he was than his words ever could. The desperation of it surprised Kurt. David usually kept things so upbeat.

"I had a particularly rough regular last night." He said quietly so that only Kurt could hear. "Wes used to sneak out of his room to check up on me. Did you know that?"

Kurt shook his head solemnly, he hadn't realized that.

"Just to see if I'd had… him, if I did he'd talk me down a little. Last night… well it was the first time I had to deal with it alone."

"God David," Kurt said, extending a hand to place over his friend's. David flinched a little as if not expecting it, but didn't pull away, "I had no idea. Is it… that first night I was here and I saw those welts on your back-"

"Yes." David answered quickly, "Same guy. I don't get him every night, but he doesn't see anyone else, just me. He… I don't know who is he, someone important, he is allowed to break some of the Carousel's rules. He goes… really hard." David's face had gone a little pale.

Kurt stomach churned both in anger at what was happening to his friend and in frustration for not being able to stop it.

"I know I can handle this for two more weeks." David continued with a deep breath, "It's just… it's going to be a long two weeks."

"What can I do?" Kurt asked leaning in and wanting to comfort his friend, but not knowing how. David had always seemed so strong and untouchable.

David smiled weakly at him, "Maybe… I don't know, after a rough night I need someone to tell me it is going to all be okay."

"David." Kurt turned to fully face him and spoke with as much feeling as he could, "It is going to be okay. You've been through so much and you're still standing and in only thirteen days you are free. It's going to be alright, you are going to be alright."

David's smile grew to a more genuine grin, "I know it seems silly, but honestly, I just needed to hear that."

"Well, I'll keep reminding you."

"Thanks," David nodded and took a bite of his oatmeal, his shoulders relaxing a bit. "There is one more thing…" David said after a moment. "A worry I can't shake."

"What's that?" Kurt asked taking a sip of his coffee, which wasn't banned now that Sebastian was gone, thank goodness for small mercies.

"Well… once I'm not here, who is my regular going target next?"

Kurt swallowed deeply. That was a sobering thought.

"Should I warn the guys that he is out there? Or… I don't know. I don't want to scare them."

"I'd want to know." Kurt said his throat feeling dry.

"Yeah… yeah. I'm not going to make a big announcement, but I'll start talking to the guys about it. Hopefully, he'll stop coming once I'm gone." David attempted a smile, but he didn't seem convinced.

Kurt nodded and had trouble finishing his own breakfast.

Kurt didn't see Blaine until later that morning while he was making his way to the locker room to change before his work out with Ms. July. Blaine came jogging up to him with a smile on his face. "Good morning, Kurt."

Kurt's heart stuttered in his chest at the sight of Blaine in his black t-shirt, with his rosy cheeks, and sparkling eyes. "Good morning." He breathed and hoped it didn't come out sounding too weird.

"You look very nice today." Blaine said, glancing at his outfit.

Kurt could feel his cheeks flush. Oh god, he had absolutely no chill. "Thank you."

"I was thinking… we might be able to steal away and talk this afternoon during your rec room time. I mean… if you still wanted to."

"Yes." Kurt answered immediately, pausing outside of the gym locker room. "I want to, I was a little worried…," Kurt chuckled and played nervously with the top button of his shirt, "I was a little worried you might change your mind about talking."

Blaine's smile faded a little, but he shook his head, "No. A promise is a promise."

Kurt's stomach felt heavy with nerves, he was so worried about what Blaine was going to say this afternoon. He couldn't even imagine what it would be. "Thank you." Kurt said quietly and turned to the door, a room away he could already hear Ms. July barking out orders to other ponies, but then he spun around again thinking of something else. "Blaine, do you think you could do a favor for me? I feel bad asking because all you do is-"

"Anything," Blaine answered his voice and expression earnest.

Kurt's breath caught in his throat looking into Blaine's deep golden eyes, which looked back at Kurt with complete trust. "Um…" Kurt chewed his lip and tried to focus on his request and not the lovely way Blaine's dark lashes framed his gorgeous eyes. "So, don't do this if it could get you in trouble, but could you see what you can find out about David's client from last night? He's a regular."

"Yeah. Sure. I'll talk to his shadow."

"Thanks." Kurt said again and then did make his way into the locker room.

The day dragged on. He saw Blaine a couple of times, but never long enough for them to sit down and talk. During rec time Kurt asked one of the supervisors if he could nap instead of hang out today, this was a request the other boys had always been able to make, but Kurt wasn't allowed because of Sebastian. Now that Sebastian wasn't here Kurt was trying his luck. The man looked down at the tablet all the supervisors carried to check that Kurt hadn't been skipping out on rec time a lot recently or that he didn't have any other restrictions and then he nodded. "Your Shadow will need to escort you."

Kurt nodded in agreement and waited until Blaine was called to the rec room. They shared a brief smile as Blaine walked in, but remained silent on the way back to Kurt's room. Kurt stopped by the door and then turned to Blaine who was shifting nervously on his feet. "You're not having second thoughts are you?"

Blaine shook his head.

Kurt nodded and opened his door, Blaine followed him in and Kurt shut the door behind them. There was a moment of awkwardness where neither of them said anything. Kurt hated it, it was never like this between them.

"I guess… have a seat?" Kurt laughed self-consciously and sat on his bed like usual. Blaine took the chair opposite of him.

Blaine clasped his hands, leaning his elbows on his knees like he always did when nervous.

"Blaine…" Kurt took a deep breath, he didn't like that he was making Blaine feel this way, "If you don't want to... I mean, I really want to know what is going on here. What you seem so scared of, and I hope... I hope you know you can trust me?"

"I do."

Kurt nodded, "But I'm not going to make you tell me anything you don't want to."

"A promise is a promise."

"Blaine." Kurt sighed, "Promise or not, you have to be okay with this."

Blaine nodded yet again, looking at his clasped hands. "Oh." He looked up at Kurt, "I found out a little about David's client?"

"Oh?" Kurt breathed easier seeing Blaine visibly relax at this topic of conversation.

"Yeah, he has been coming to Pantone for years. Not just the Carousel. He's important. Doesn't even give his name, at least not in his report to the Shadows. David's Shadow says no one is allowed to question him and that he gets what he wants. There are rumors he is on the board? Or that the board answers to him? Other people say he isn't part of Pantone, but works in government and is really important outside of these walls. I don't know what is true, but everyone here, supervisors included, seem to be really intimidated by him."

"Jesus." Kurt's chest tightened at that news, "That's… not great. David said he is rough. That he breaks rules. It seems like David has been silently suffering through him for a while now."

Blaine's face fell, "That's horrible."

"Yeah. I think only Wes really knew about it. In full at least."

"I hate that he's been going through that."

"Me too," Kurt stopped himself from mentioning that this important client might be on the prowl for a new victim after David left. That was a worry for another time.

"I'll talk to David's Shadow, see if there are any extra perks, extra rest time... stuff like that we can do for David in his last two weeks."

Kurt smiled, "You are really sweet. Do you know that?"

Blaine lowered his head shaking it slightly and looking unhappy, "I don't do enough."

Kurt leaned forward, "You do what you can."

They were silent again for a moment, Kurt not sure how to broach the subject that was hanging heavily between them.

"How much do you know about the other parts of Pantone?" Blaine broke the silence looking up to meet Kurt's eyes.

"I… I know there is a bar? Right? And a strip club?"

Blaine nodded, "Yeah, those two go hand-in-hand."

"I don't really know much else."

"That's… good." Blaine said, his brow furrowed, "I won't go into it into details, but let's just say there are places in Pantone that aren't as bad as the Carousel, like the strip club for example, and… and there are places." Blaine swallowed nervously, "There are places much worse."

"Worse?" Kurt asked, trying to meet Blaine's eyes, but they were focused down again. "How?"

"I don't really want to go into it, but at the Carousel I know it feels like clients can do whatever they want, and they can do too much, but there are restrictions. Men who are too… What's the word you used for David's client? Rough? Men who are too rough for the Carousel are sent to other parts of Pantone where that kind of thing is… allowed."

Kurt swallowed deeply beginning to feel ill, "What kind of things are allowed exactly?"

Blaine shook his head and answered in a voice barely above a whisper, "I don't really want to talk about that."

"Did you…. Did you used to be a Shadow in these other parts of Pantone?" Kurt's heart was starting to race, wondering what kind of things Blaine had seen in his time here.

Blaine cleared his throat. "No." He finally looked up at Kurt, but he was clasping his hands so hard Kurt was afraid he might hurt himself. "You wanted to know how long I have left on my contract?"

Kurt nodded, a sense of foreboding filling him.

"The truth is… I don't know."

Kurt didn't understand, he had to know how much was left on his contract. An estimate at least. "But… how much money are you working towards? There has to be a set sum in your contract."

Blaine took a long breath as if preparing himself for something, "No."

"What do you mean?"

"I… I'm not earning any money working here as a Shadow."

"What-" Kurt's heart was pounding against his chest, he didn't understand, he wasn't sure he wanted to understand. He licked his lips, "You aren't… part of Pantone, or… I don't know. You aren't just pretending to be a Shadow are you?" Kurt' voice was so small he could hardly hear it and his chest was so tight he had to clutch at his shirt.

"What?" Blane's eyebrows flew up, "No! Oh god no. You… you think that of me?" He sounded hurt.

"Blaine, no." Kurt felt partially relieved, but he still didn't understand what was going on, "I just… you always talk as if you're as bad as the worst of Pantone, and now you say you aren't working as a Shadow… I'm just…" Kurt's voice broke a little, "I'm really confused."

"Kurt," Blaine moved from his chair to sit next to Kurt, "I am a Shadow, that wasn't what I was trying to say."

"But…"

"I'm not earning money Kurt, I'm working off a debt. I owe Pantone money. A lot of money."

Kurt took a breath, his chest loosening a bit, if Blaine had ended up not being the man Kurt thought he was… Kurt wouldn't have been able to bear it. But that had been a moment of confusion, looking at Blaine now, Kurt couldn't doubt him. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he trusted Blaine. "You owe money?"

Blaine nodded.

"To Pantone?"

"In a roundabout way. I owe money to some very dangerous people. Organized Crime kind of people."

"Mobsters?" Kurt deadpanned, trying to keep up with what Blaine was saying.

"Yes." Blaine smiled a little, "If this were the 1920s we'd call them mobsters. And those men… they make money from Pantone, so they make money from me. As long as I'm here. The problem is…. Shadows don't make that much money… so paying off my debt." Blaine glanced away again. "I don't know if it is really possible."

Kurt sat stunned for a moment. He hadn't been able to even guess what Blaine was going to tell him this afternoon, but it certainly wasn't this. "So…" Kurt started and stopped, wishing Blaine would just look at him. "How did… how did you end up owing Organized Crime money?"

"Gambling debts."

"You gamble?"

Blaine laughed, but it sounded cold and hollow. "Only with my life."

"Blaine, I… I don't understand."

Blaine looked up and finally met Kurt's eyes again, his expression lost and so heartbroken. "You know that brother of mine who I never talk about? Cooper?"

"Yes."

"They're his debts. He owed some questionable people a lot of money from gambling and then he borrowed even more money from some even worst people to pay it off. He was never going to be able to pay it back and they… they started coming around looking to collect. They… god Kurt, the things they did to him… I knew… I knew it wouldn't be long and he would just be… gone." Blaine's voice was scratchy like he was holding back tears, and his hands, folded in his lap, were trembling. "Either we'd never know what happened to him, or his body would be fished out of some river. He was going to get himself killed. And I… I couldn't just stand around and let that happen. He's my brother."

"Blaine." Kurt's heart was in his throat. "What did you do?"

"I went to the people who came after him and said I needed to talk to their boss about settling Cooper's debt."

"No."

"I didn't have that kind of money, especially since it was accruing interest daily so… so I told them they could have me."

"No." Kurt's fists were curled and his breathing heavy.

Blaine pressed on, as if getting this far in his story he had to finish even though with every word it seemed like he was getting smaller and smaller, tucking into himself, taking up as little space as he could. "I came to work for Pantone. It was a yearlong contract. I worked in what they call the Fun House. It is…" Blaine's face drained of color and his eyes filled with tears, he glanced down to his lap again, still clutching his hands. "It's hell on earth. And I was going to be there for a year."

Kurt couldn't speak, he just reached out and held onto Blaine's hands as if somehow his touch could protect Blaine from his past.

"I was only there two months, it felt like years." Blaine paused and Kurt held his breath. "And then I got a client who… just… he…" Blaine shook his head and withdrew one of his hands from under Kurt's to wipe at his eyes.

"Blaine. What… what did he do?"

"He wanted to break me. He… he did. I thought he was going to kill me, I almost hoped he would…he…" Blaine shook his head again as if shaking off memories, "I couldn't work for a while after that. My body had to recover, and then once it had I… I just couldn't Kurt. I had panic attacks and got violent if anyone tried to touch me… Eventually the people who ran the Fun House realized I was no good to them there. They put to me work as a Shadow here in the Carousel. I… I've been here almost four years."

Kurt didn't know what to say, his chest hurt and his eyes stung with tears. Four years? After whatever happened to him at the Fun House he hadn't even had a chance to recover emotionally or mentally. Instead he'd been trapped here for four years. Kurt wanted to scream at what Blaine had been through, that anyone had ever hurt him. That he'd been a captive for so long. That everyday Blaine was strong and kind and cheerful because that was what people needed of him – all the while he was carrying around this weight.

But Blaine didn't need Kurt's anger right now. He didn't need Kurt pressing for more information about what happened to him. What that man must have done.

Kurt scooted closer to Blaine on the bed and tentatively started to wrap his arms around him, watching for any flinch or indication that the gesture was unwelcome. Blaine just leaned into Kurt's side and Kurt looped his arms around him and held him close. Blaine started crying soundlessly, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Oh, Blaine." Kurt murmured and leaned his head against Blaine's pressing a light kiss to his temple. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry."

Blaine was trembling against him and Kurt ran his hand up Blaine's arm to his neck coiling his fingers in Blaine's curls and just kept holding him tight. Kurt wanted to keep Blaine safe from all the evil in the world, he wanted to be his shield – but he couldn't shield Blaine from things that had already happened.

They stayed like that for a while, no words between them, because what could be said? Kurt waited until Blaine's breathing had calmed down and his trembling lessened.

"Blaine?" Kurt called cautiously.

Blaine lifted his head from where it was resting on Kurt's shoulder and looked Kurt in the face. His amber eyes were red ringed and bloodshot, but his expression seemed much more at ease. "Sorry," He said, sniffling and wiping his eyes, "I didn't know it would hit me like that."

"You have nothing to apologize for." Kurt whispered, his arms still loosely holding Blaine close. Kurt had so many questions, but he didn't want to push Blaine. "You've been here four years?"

Blaine nodded.

"You couldn't have been more than eighteen when you got here."

"I was seventeen."

Kurt swore under his breath, anger hot in him like boiling lava. "And why haven't they let you go? You said you had a one-year contract."

"I had a one-year contract to work in the Fun House. I broke that contract… I… I don't know if they're ever going to let me go."

Kurt held Blaine a little closer, his jaw set so tight it hurt. "What?" He said through clenched teeth.

"I ask sometimes, how much longer I have, and in return they ask me if I'm ready to go back to the Fun House. And I can't Kurt. I won't ever go back there."

Kurt shook his head emphatically, "No. Never." Kurt honestly thought he might throw up, that place was worse than the Carousel? If Kurt's number one priority right then wasn't to comfort Blaine he knew he'd be falling apart, "But they can't keep you here indefinitely," Kurt argued, pulling back a little, "They can't own you."

"Who is going to stop them?"

Kurt shook his head feeling agitated, he still had one arm slung across Blaine's back, and they were facing each other, but Kurt's anger was only rising and he couldn't stay seated any longer, he got up from the bed and started pacing the room. "And your brother, Cooper. He is okay with this? He just let his brother sell himself to pay his debts."

"Kurt, he doesn't know."

"How can't he know!" Kurt threw his arms out and immediately regretted yelling as Blaine curled into himself.

"I… my family thinks I moved out of the country. That I ran away. I wanted them to think that. I call my mom when I'm allowed so she knows I'm alright, to keep up the charade. I don't have contact with my brother. Around the time I approached the men who held Cooper's life in their hands he was doing some… jobs for them. Illegal things, transporting items across borders. He didn't know what he was carrying, he never asked. I think he thinks that those jobs are what paid off his debt."

Kurt stood in front of Blaine, feeling lost and sick, "Jesus Christ, Blaine."

"I know. I know. I made a mess of everything."

"No." Kurt quickly sat down next to Blaine again, and took his hands. He waited, not saying anything until Blaine finally looked up to meet his eyes, "You didn't make this mess, you're just the one suffering because of your brother's bad decisions and because there are evil men with too much power."

Blaine shrugged, he looked shockingly calm now that the truth was out there. "It isn't so bad. As a Shadow."

"Blaine."

There was silence for another moment, Kurt's mind going a mile a minute. He had to do something, but Blaine was right, how could they stop a powerful, faceless entity?

"There's something I don't understand." Kurt said and lifted a hand to cup Blaine's cheek. "If you were trapped into this life, why in the world do you keep comparing yourself to the monsters that keep you here?"

Blaine sighed, and it sounded like he carried the weight of the world in that breath, "I've seen so much, Kurt. Some really horrible things done to people. So much pain and fear, people have disappeared without a trace and I don't know if that means they found freedom… or… or… And eventually I shut down. I stopped caring. It was like my heart calcified. I didn't feel anything, except that not feeling anything made me… complicit in what is happening here.

"And then you came along, and… I've said this before, you woke me up. I felt alive again, I couldn't see you hurt and not feel it. And now… I feel even worse. I've been acting like it doesn't matter what happens to other people as long as it doesn't happen to me. Doesn't that make me a monster?" Blaine's head and shoulders drooped, like he didn't have the strength to hold them up anymore.

"Oh god, Blaine," Kurt shook his head, his eyes feeling teary again, "You are so wrong. You were tricked, because you wanted to save someone you loved, and since then you've done what you've had to do to survive. You aren't a monster… you're the furthest thing… you… your kind, and so good… and-" Kurt's voice broke, he couldn't even go on, he couldn't find words big enough to tell Blaine how wonderful he was, how he wasn't to blame for the evil that happened here. "Please Blaine, believe me." Kurt's hand on Blaine's cheek tilted his face up so that Blaine had to look at him. "Do you think I could care for you so much if you were a monster?"

"I… Kurt." Blaine's eyes were golden and shining with tears. Their faces were so close and Kurt's heart was beating so hard it rang in his ears, it would be easy to close that distance and… but Blaine had to want it as well. Kurt moved forward, just a bit, to show Blaine what he was thinking, but he didn't close the space completely, instead he waited, holding his breath, hoping he wasn't reading this wrong and-

And Blaine swooped in, closing the distance between them, pressing his lips against Kurt's. Soft and gentle and sweet. Kurt smiled a little through his tears as he kissed Blaine back, parting his lips slightly and feeling vibrations down to his toes. Blaine followed suit, kissing him so tenderly Kurt thought his heart might burst.

Blaine lifted a hand to Kurt's face and Kurt slipped his arms around Blaine's shoulders deepening the kiss and feeling light headed with it. He'd been kissed a lot in the last few months, but in truth – he hadn't been kissed at all. Not like this, not so full of tenderness and care and affection. They slowly pulled apart, both of them breathless. Blaine's eyes wide in surprise and delight, his kiss red lips tipped in a smile. He looked too overcome to even speak.

"Sorry, if that was… too much. If the timing was wrong." Kurt whispered hoping he hadn't overstepped.

"No, it was… perfect. I've been wanting to kiss you for weeks now." Blaine said with a shy, quiet burst of laughter.

Kurt's heart melted. "You have?"

Blaine nodded. "I never could have dreamt you wanted that too. And I could have never imagined it would be… like that."

"Like what?" Kurt asked, grinning so hard that his cheeks hurt.

"Everything."

Kurt had never seen Blaine like this, especially considering how small and dejected he'd looked just moments ago. He seemed, light, happy. Kurt wanted Blaine to always look like this, but he knew that a kiss hadn't really solved anything.

"Blaine." Kurt leaned their foreheads together, "What are we going to do?"

"We are going to be there for each other. We are going to get you through these next few months."

"And then what?"

"And then you'll be free." Blaine's voice was confident, as if that was all that mattered in the world.

Kurt backed up an inch or two so that he could look at Blaine directly, "You think I'm going to just leave you here?"

"You have to Kurt. What about your future? What about your dad?"

Kurt's heart twisted in his chest. His dad would be heartbroken if anything were to happen to him. "No," Kurt shook his head, "I don't have any answers right now, but I'm not giving up. We are going to figure something out. Both of us are going to leave this place."

Blaine smiled softly at him, lifting a hand to cup Kurt's face and brush a thumb against his cheek. "Okay."

Kurt could tell Blaine wasn't convinced, that his only plan was to make sure Kurt was okay. Kurt wouldn't fight about it now, but he was having none of that. Kurt was determined, he would find a way, he'd fight monsters if he had too.

He was not leaving here without Blaine.