AN: This isn't Sonadow, but it is. Or is it? I don't know.
I apologize in advance for what you're about to read.
INTO THE BLUE
Dawn breaks, and my body senses it immediately. Running a hand through my quills, I free myself of the mist of drowsiness and the previous evening's attempts at getting me to feel. My lower lip trembles at the recollection of what took place only hours prior, my body tingling at the mere thought of it. There's no point in trying; I'm not going to give in, and I know it.
Why, if I know that my heart will reject all emotion, do I insist on returning night after night?
The one remaining in my bed stirs, disturbed by the absence of my body's warmth beside him. "Hey," he mumbles, wiping the sleep from his eyes. "What time is it?"
"I don't know for sure. It's got to be somewhere around six in the morning." I've made sure to free my voice of any trace of emotion. Reaching for my gloves on the bedside table, I pray that he doesn't look over at my bare hands. I'm a hideous creature beneath the glossy exterior, ugly and scarred beyond recognition. I don't want him to see that side of me. In fact, I'd rather he not see me at all, even in the darkness.
Why, if I know that I am betraying my own desires, do I continue to allow this to happen?
"Figures," he chuckles. I hear him roll out of bed, his naked feet pounding into the solitary proximity that has felt no presence but my own. He presses himself up against me, snaking his arms around my waist from behind. My muscles lock up instinctively, and I push him away before he can whisper any sweet words.
"Don't," I simply say, heading straight for the bathroom. Although I've locked the door, he still finds a way inside. I feel him standing behind me still, even as I turn on the water and force myself into the quickest shower I've ever taken. I can still hear his whispered words of love in my ear as I towel off and comb my quills into shape. His hands run over my shoulders, down my arms, grabbing hold of my wrists. A stabbing pain begins within my chest, spiraling outwards, pulling me deeper into the blue. I look in the mirror, and all I can see is him.
"Stop it," I mutter to myself. "Let it go. Get it together already."
A hesitant knock at the door deepens my agony. "Hey, uh, can I shower here?" A nervous chuckle from him is next to follow. "I promise I won't take too long. After all, I am the f-"
No longer can I hold myself back. I fling open the door, push him against the wall, and hastily cover his mouth with my own. Embracing him for what feels like the last time, I lose myself inside the unknown realm that I have created, completely disregarding the persistent pulse of life within me. Although he is confused, he meets me there willingly, entwining himself with me once more. I want to keep him as a part of me for all of eternity; but I am a fairly rational creature.
I shatter our connection, purposefully looking away from him. "Take your time," I say to the ground, wiping my mouth on my hand. "When you get out, I'll be gone. Just make sure that the door is locked before you leave, all right?"
"Shadow–"
"Please, Sonic." I meet his eyes at last, searing through him with dual swords of anger and desire. "Don't make this any more complicated than it has to be."
Having nothing more to say, I leave him standing there, making my way into the kitchen. As I hear the bathroom door close slowly, I cross my arms and allow myself to fade away. I understand well what tonight shall bring, but I cannot permit myself to think of it now. I will ignore the idea of him for the rest of today only to throw myself into him tonight. Tomorrow shall be the same, as will the infinite days that come after.
Why, if I know what the result will be, do I enjoy this twisted game so much?
~End~