"With our forces built up, and staging areas taken, we're ready to make our final push on the Capitol." Coin addressed the room.

The mood turned electric. This is what they'd all been building towards.

"In the wake of us overturning their military force, the Capitol has looked elsewhere for defences." Coin briefed them. "They've turned over the entire outer ring of the Capitol to the Gamemakers." She brought up the map. "These Pods are… variable. Every one of them are deadly; and activated by different sensors, which rotate. One day, this pod might track movement and spit fire; and three hours later it'll respond to body heat and throw knives."

"It's an Arena." Johanna grated out, suddenly feral. "They turned the whole Capitol into a $#&! Arena!"

"Because there's only one Victor in the Arena." Peeta had seen it too. "They want to bleed us. Their new strategy is to make us spend lives for every inch; until we don't have an army left. The Ultimate Hunger Games. One Victor left when it's over."

"And so far it's working." Boggs put in. "I lost three teams just getting a look at a pod. They were ready for bullets, they got hit with poison gas ten minutes later."

"Beetee has spent most of the last week giving this his full attention, and the best we can do is decoy-and-drop." Coin told them. "We distract the Pods, and destroy them. We claim every intersection, street by street. The Capitol is pulling their civilians in to the city centre, creating a human barrier. We close off more streets, they pack in tighter. Time is on our side now. With the Districts no longer supplying them, they'll be all over Snow to end this quickly. Claiming the Outer Ring means there's no chance of them escaping or smuggling in supplies."

"The mission is to secure the whole place. Inch by inch, if that's what it takes." Boggs told his troops. "Each Squad will be assigned to a list of pods. Take as long as you need with them, destroy or disable however you can… And remember, that only some of the Pods are above ground."

"Where do we get our assignments?" Johanna asked. Coin gave her a faint smile.

Johanna was cleared for Boot Camp. She had insisted on it. Peeta didn't try to talk her out of it. There was still a chance she would fail testing. She went to the Training Level at a march, leaving Peeta to face his own 'assignment'.

"Peeta, our Generals are divided on the subject of sending you along personally." Coin told him quietly. "After your stunt in Two… I'm grateful that it worked, and it made a difference to be sure, but I can't risk sending you to the Capitol. If you go 'off script' again…"

"I understand. I have no intention of trying to fight you on it." Peeta said. "As much as feel like a coward sending other people out, I think we've proven I'm not meant to be a soldier."

"Not a regular one, anyway." Coin put in. "Johanna Mason disagrees."

Peeta's eyes flashed.

"I was a little surprised to see you weren't there with her." Coin continued reasonably.

Peeta sighed hard. "I know." He confessed. "Part of me really hopes she doesn't make it through the 'final exam'."

"She will." Coin said simply. "If you did volunteer, I would be... favorably disposed towards letting you go with her."

Peeta sighed harder. "Somehow, I just knew you'd say that."

Two rooms away, Johanna was having the same conversation with Katniss, who had presented her with a file. "451?"

Katniss nodded. "Apparently they're putting together an 'All Star' Team. Famous faces, and such. For Propo work in the Capitol. Me, you; Gale, Boggs. Cressida is getting a rep from all her time out there. Finnick has been approached, but ruled too unstable. I was offered the chance to invite you personally."

"For a propaganda mission? Can't picture you doing that sort of thing."

"The Capitol is all that's left. Beetee finally cracked the encryption. If we can show people our troops walking through their streets; The Capitol will know the fight is over." Katniss sighed. "At least, that's the popular theory behind it. And... There is an opportunity."

Johanna pulled out her Jammer and switched it on. "You're not going to the Capitol for Propos, are you?"

Katniss lowered her voice. "It has been suggested that our rescue mission to pull you out was designed to fail. It was also suggested that Coin is looking to the days after the War; and making some plans."

"I think I can guess who suggested it." Johanna drawled. "You think Coin's All Star Team is just a way to get all her potential rivals in one place, and send them to war?"

"If the two of us, plus a few others I could mention, did happen to get killed out there, it'd be perfect for her politically. She never has to worry about a martyr turning against her." Katniss nodded. "But that's for after. Coin is tomorrow's problem. This isn't over until Snow is dead."

"So, you plan to go to the Capitol and... then what?"

"Won't know until I get there. I've never been to the Capitol. I'm... improvising." Katniss admitted. "Coin's trying to get Peeta to join 451; but I think she'll fail."

"Unless I join." Johanna said simply. "If I pass Boot Camp, she'll put me on 451, and Peeta will volunteer."

"If he goes, they'll kill him. And if they don't, Coin might." Katniss said seriously.

Johanna felt sick. The only guaranteed way to keep Peeta out of the warzone is if you stay out of it yourself. She thought. And Coin surely knows that you won't stay out of it. Not for anything.

Peeta shook his head. "You're good, President Coin. I thought Snow was devious, but you're better. You don't even manipulate. You just let people do what they really want to do."

"You call it manipulation, and I understand why you think that way; but really it's just efficiency. People are at their best when they volunteer." Coin had a ghost of a smile. "I'll make you this promise, Peeta. The Capitol is a big place. Johanna may yet come though this without having to-"

"I'm not a bloody civilian, Madame President." Peeta cut her off, more tired by the conversation than angry. "If she's let out of Thirteen at all, she'll burn a path straight to Snow's Manor, regardless of her orders. You can threaten to put her in the firing line, you can tempt me by offering to put her someplace safe, off the front… But the second she goes, you can't control her any more than I can."

Coin considered that. "No, I suppose not."

Neither of them said what they were thinking. Johanna didn't have to be controlled to be worth everything to Coin. If she passed Basic Training, she'd volunteer at once. She'd gratefully become a martyr to the Rebel cause and Peeta would lose her, without being able to blame Coin for it.

Johanna had finished her time trials and was heading back up to her quarters. She knew Peeta wouldn't be there, which was almost a plus. There was a distance between them now. It was like their breakup had been put on the calendar, and neither of them could avoid it; but they both knew the exact moment it was coming.

The elevator paused to let others off, and Johanna nodded at Gale as he came in, leaving the two of them alone together as the doors closed. "I heard you and Katniss are going to the Capitol."

"They gave us to 451." Gale nodded. "We're high-profile, as these things go. We got noticed; and that was enough to put our names at the top of the list."

"How do you do it?" She asked suddenly. "You and Katniss split before the wedding. How do you still work together so perfectly?"

"Because we both want to win the war. And… we know if there's any chance of working things out, it has to be after the War is won." Gale said simply, and he knew what she was really asking. "You think you can get on the team before we leave?"

"No, not enough time." Johanna admitted. "But I'll be there."

"Good, because this is supposed to be an 'All Star' Team and so far, not a single Victor has volunteered for it, except you."

She said nothing to that, going on the attack. "She told me your breakup was over the tactics you and Beetee were cooking up, but I've known Beetee longer than you and her put together. He heard your fight."

Gale winced. "He told you?"

"Katniss isn't wild about the more vicious smart-weapons, but she wants revenge as much as you and me." Johanna nodded. "My fight with Peeta might be over the second the war ends. You and Katniss… You didn't break up because of weapon design."

"I don't want to go back to Twelve." Gale hissed, like he'd been tired of hiding it for so long. "There's nothing back there but dust and ghosts."

"You call them ghosts. Katniss calls them memories." Johanna returned. "So does Peeta."

Gale said nothing for a while, both of them watching the floor numbers tick by. Their conversation was ending. "Peeta would be glad to go home right now. I think that Katniss will stay until Snow is dead and then walk off into the woods, never to return." He looked at her beseechingly. "I'm good at this. I finally feel like I'm doing something that matters with my life. I don't want to go back to the way it was. That's not so terrible, is it?"

"Peeta needs all this evil to stop. Katniss needs revenge for Prim. But the war is an obstacle to their real lives." Johanna said. "You and me, I think we found ourselves in the war. This is the realest our lives have ever been."

"Before Thirteen, I was miserable, working three shifts at a time to avoid my family starving, and no hope of anything but a lifetime of that." Gale admitted. "I had this fantasy of stealing away into the woods with Katniss and living wild with her. I had a bunch of kids to feed. Katniss was done with her family when she lost Prim." Gale sighed hard. "I can't just walk away anymore. Even if the war ended right now, I couldn't just… go back to that old dream."

"I know what you mean." Johanna admitted. "Peeta still wants to be a Baker."

The elevator dinged. Johanna started moving, not looking at him. "This may be the months of torture talking, but I think Peeta and Katniss might be good for each other, if the war would just get out of the way."

Basic training didn't take long. Johanna passed it at an accelerated rate.

Boggs was selecting his Commando Team for Special Operations in the Capitol; and pretty much everyone he knew was an option.

Katniss and Gale had already been selected. Johanna had volunteered. Being in the Commando Unit would be skipping a few steps, but she was a Victor, and it was Boggs' choice. He was basing his choices for his 'Star Squad' on The Block. Simulated Street Combat; an Obstacle Course designed to look like a Capitol street.

Peeta and Effie wished her luck, though she only believed one of them.

Peeta and Effie watched from the VIP room. The Block had facilities to show off to Generals and Commanders just how skilled their people were.

There were dozens of screens. It was like a smaller version of the Arena. Johanna couldn't hide; and it was clear she didn't want to. She was showing off, making sure everyone saw how deadly she was.

Effie was sending nervous looks between the screens and Peeta. She had been aware of something building between her charges, but hadn't understood what until now. Peeta sat in a comfortable chair and watched, like he was in the Mentor's Lounge at the Games all over again. If she fails the course on her own, we might even be able to survive this.

Plutarch was suddenly at his elbow, also watching. "I guess we both wanted to see how our girl was doing."

"Running camera angles in your head?" Peeta guessed. "Looking for another hero shot?"

"Katniss Everdeen was amazing. She has no talent in an interview, but she's almost as good as you are when it comes to surprising people when the crunch comes."

"She is." Effie agreed, taking over the conversation so that Peeta wouldn't have to. "Be honest with me: Do you think we've got a chance?"

"Of winning?" Plutarch was surprised. "It's only a matter of time with Two beaten." He almost slapped his forehead, looking back to Peeta. "In fact, I meant to come by specifically to tell you how impressed I was with that. We thought that 'cracking the Nut' was going to be our biggest propo victory of the war. You somehow managed to make it better."

"Coin doesn't seem to think so."

"Coin's a politician. You're not. When we've set up a provisional government to replace Snow's-"

"She doesn't have a vice president." Effie said suddenly, while Peeta's eyes were still glued to Johanna on the screen.

Plutarch blinked at her. "What?"

"Coin. She doesn't have a Vice President." Effie said. "Neither does Snow. Their lines of succession are non-existent. I've seen your agenda for after the war. A Republic? Sure. Sounds great, on paper. Except that it's meant to be a 'checks and balances' system, and neither Snow, nor Coin, has made any mention of what would happen after them. It's because neither of them have a plan for the world to continue on without themselves in charge of it. What if Coin choked on her turnips tomorrow? Who would be in charge? Does she even care?"

Plutarch said nothing. "There… was a list of potentials, with a few names being floated for that eventuality, assuming the war ends with us winning."

Peeta was still looking at the screens, but it was clear he had heard. Johanna was tearing up the obstacle course like it was the easiest game she'd ever played. "If I see my name on any of those 'lists', I swear I'll sic' Johanna on you." He rose from his seat. "Speaking of, I have to go destroy my relationship with her completely."

Effie and Plutarch said nothing as Peeta walked out of the VIP room, and went down to the testing grounds.

Effie spoke once he was well out of earshot. "Heavensbee, I didn't see the war being waged. For most of my life, I was worse than the Capitol citizens that way. Peeta and Johanna woke me up; and I won't go back to what I was a year ago." She turned to him, tears showing on her face. "If you've dragged my wonderful, beautiful kids out of one Arena and sacrificed them to something worse than the Capitol… I'll kill you. I swear to everything that I will murder you dead."

Boggs and Paylor were both in the control room, noting how Johanna was reacting to each challenge. Peeta came in, and stood with them.

"Soldier Mellark, you're not cleared for this area." Paylor said without looking back. She had the same eyes in the back of her head that Boggs had. "Your girl is breaking records in there."

"I'm sure." Peeta looked green. "Boggs, I need you to add something to the test."

"I can't make it any easier for her."

"If only." Peeta sighed. "Can you make it rain?"

Johanna was threading her way through one of the interiors, finding her way around the street obstacles by going through a building, clearing each room with swift and deadly shots. Katniss held the record for marksmanship; but Johanna's score was well above average because she never cleared rooms with her rifle, instead throwing knives. The silent attacks didn't alert any other drones or targets, and she had the element of surprise with each room.

She made it through the building, almost to the end of the course… When she came out into the 'street' and found it was pouring rain. Sheets of water came down, drenching the rest of the Course.

Safely 'inside', Johanna froze. If she took one more step, it'd be raining on her.

In her head she knew this was the test; to see if she could overcome her trauma, and complete the mission. But her head wasn't working, locked in a box of panic and horror and pain.

Just keep moving. Just walk. It's not the same. It won't hurt you. Just move, Johanna. You can do this. Pretend it's your shower. Pretend Peeta's here.

She kept telling herself that silently until the buzzer sounded and her time was up.

Coin was stunned. "What do you mean 'failed'?"

"She couldn't finish the obstacle course." Paylor explained. "Her mental stability is just not equal to the task. I'm sorry, Madame President, but the regulations are very clear on this. Squad 451 will have to go without Mason."

Coin was still. "By any chance, was Soldier Mellark present during the test?"

"He was in attendance, ma'am; but they weren't anywhere near each other."

Coin set her jaw. Well played, Mellark.

When they read out the names, Johanna wasn't on the list. Everyone assembled knew she'd failed. They all knew why. Nobody said anything, which was somehow worse.

She didn't say anything when the names were read out. When Boggs and Paylor went back into the barracks, she followed, and Peeta went with her. She hadn't said a word to him since the Simulation.

Boggs saw her come in. "I know what you're going to say, Mason. But we can't have a Commando that will only be able to function if the weather is good."

"I don't have to be one of your All-Stars, but I do have to be there." Johanna told him seriously. "Where do I go to be assigned now?"

"The review board gets first selection. That's this afternoon." Boggs told her. "But don't get your hopes up."

"Before the… lapse; I was breaking every record you had on the The Block." Johanna plead her case to the Review Board. "There are… special advantages to taking me anyway." Johanna offered. "Consider the Propo opportunities."

"Squad 451 is the Propaganda Team. The rest of the army actually has to win a war. We are aware of your skill; but it's not just you. It's everyone else on the Team. What happens to them if you freeze up?" Paylor said, and her tone became formal. "Your sudden halt in the Simulator showed more than a phobia. It showed your weak point. One the Capitol most definitely knows about. You think there's even a chance they won't exploit it?" She tapped Johanna's file, open on the table. "Anyway, we didn't bounce you. You were flagged before the Simulator."

"By who?" Johanna demanded.

"Doctor Clarke. You flunked the psychiatric assessment." Paylor told her. "Doctor Clarke? Your testimony?"

Johanna turned to the rest of the boardroom, and sure enough, the Doctor was there. There was room for an audience, as the room was used for all sorts of things. The only other people in the room was Doctor Clake, and Peeta.

"I have testimony from my nursing staff that says she didn't so much as wash, the entire time she was in our care." The Doctor looked pointedly at Johanna. "If you can't handle the showers; you shouldn't be out of Medbay, let alone on the Front Lines." He said seriously. "It is my ruling that you should not be cleared for combat duty."

"A ruling that supersedes the Combat Review in the first place." Paylor added.

"And if I appeal?" Johanna didn't miss a beat.

"Doctor Clarke heads the Medical Staff. He's the one that you usually appeal to. He is the highest authority on this."

"On medical decisions. Who overrules him on military matters?"

"I do." Paylor didn't blink. "And I say you can't be a soldier if you can't take a walk in the rain."

Johanna didn't hesitate. "And who overrules you?"

"Only President Coin."

Johanna looked at Peeta, who had crumpled. Coin would send Johanna to the Capitol in a heartbeat. If Johanna couldn't be controlled, Coin would jump at the chance to send her into the firefight. They both knew it.

"Johanna." Peeta said finally. "Before you talk to Coin… Can we speak privately?"

She nodded, knowing what was coming; and they returned to their room. Though I guess it's not ours anymore. She thought weakly.

Johanna went to wipe her face with a wet cloth, cooling down the heat around her eyes. It had been an emotionally charged moment, and she had kept from breaking down through sheer force of will, knowing that one teardrop would ruin her.

Behind her, Peeta sat on the edge of the bed. He was thinking about something. And it took no effort to imagine what. "Fine. Hit me with your best shot." She told him roughly. "You could sweet-talk your own executioner; and you've got thirty minutes before I can meet Coin. Make your case. I owe you that much."

"Before we get into our thing, can I just say: The Review Board was right." Peeta offered. "It's a bad idea to be a soldier if you can't function in or around water."

Johanna's eyes flashed at the reminder. "I knew I had that problem. It didn't stop me from enlisting."

"No, I guess not." Peeta sighed.

"And making it rain, on the simulator? That was you, wasn't it?"

"It was." He confessed. "I know you must hate me for-"

"I don't." She said honestly. "You have to keep me safe just as much as I have to go to the Capitol. I don't hate a fish for swimming or a bird for flying; and I'm not going to hate you for trying to keep me here. And even if I did, having Coin's bony fingers involved has taken care of any 'division' I might feel. But we both knew it would come to this. We had this talk at the wedding, and nothing's changed since then." She looked at him awkwardly. "I do love you, Peeta. But do you think we'd have ever looked at each other if not for the war?"

"No. But we aren't together by destiny; we're together because of the choices we made, and where they led us." Peeta said honestly. "The war came, and you… you took care of me. From the moment we met, you were getting me ready to swim with sharks."

"I remember."

"And now, here we are. War makes strange alliances at the best of times. Our alliance was built because we needed to play at love. We won by not playing."

"Something that happened without my meaning it to." Johanna admitted.

"I never would have survived without you, Jo. Physically, mentally, emotionally… You saved me a dozen different ways." Peeta said softly. "But then the War started in earnest, and I had to protect you. I burned a lot of bridges getting you out of the fire."

"It hasn't gone unnoticed, some of the things you had to do." Johanna nodded. "Back when we met; I was convinced they'd eat you alive. And back then, I wasn't surprised, and then I was sad for it, and then finally I was determined to keep their claws off you. I did that. Snow can't touch you anymore. I only have one goal in life left. And it's not one that involves you 'looking after me'."

Silence. Neither of them had said anything the other didn't know. It wasn't going to move either of them to change their mind.

"Coin thinks if you go, I will volunteer to go with you." Peeta said quietly.

"That would be suicide, and you know it." Johanna said simply.

More silence. Johanna wasn't sure if he'd actually volunteer. If he volunteered because of her, she didn't know if she'd withdraw from combat to keep him safe. She wasn't sure if Peeta would go through with it, knowing it was surely a suicide mission with Coin gunning for them both.

"Johanna…" Peeta said finally. "I've been rehearsing this little speech since I realized you were in training. And after all that time… I can't think of a single reason why you should stay with me, instead of going to the Capitol and taking your revenge on anything that moves. Not one you care about. You're going to kill yourself and you are fine with it. What can I offer you, or threaten you with, when you're already past that line?"

Johanna said nothing.

"I can't think of a single reason, why you would give up your chance at vengeance… Except that if you go, I'm convinced that you won't come back. And I don't believe I can do that again."

Johanna said nothing.

"I love you." Peeta said simply. "Its the only thing I have left. My dad, downstairs, knows that I'm not really his son anymore; not in any way that involves him raising me. The rest of District Twelve, at least the parts of it that I grew up in? They're gone. District Seven, where you lived? Also gone. The bakery, the Hob; that greenhouse you built, the house we shared; the bed we held each other in… All ashes. There's nothing left of our lives except for each other."

Johanna twitched, but still said nothing, staring into him.

"I have no money, no place for us to live, we don't even own the clothes we're wearing right now." Peeta reached out, took her hand, and pulled it to his chest, straight over his heart. "All I've got left to offer you is here. And if you don't want it, tell me now. Because if you go to the Capitol, you'll be taking it with you; and it will die there with you."

And Peeta bent down, dropping to his knees. At first, she thought he was proposing. But then she realized, he was outright pleading. Something the Capitol, the Resistance, the Arena; and all the assorted abusers couldn't do, no matter how they tried.

She'd brought The Storyteller to his knees, begging for his life.

"Peeta…" Johanna sighed his name like a prayer.

"The Capitol is going to be a killing field. There's lots of people you can kill. The only person offering to love you is here in this room." Peeta begged.

Johanna's eyes were hard and shining with hot, hard tears. "Since the first time my name was pulled out of that bowl, I have held on by telling myself that I'd get a chance to pay it all back on them. In the years since, I have carefully made sure that I was ready for it. Nobody to miss me, nobody to weep over my grave… And now, at the finish line, when it's finally my turn…"

"I know. I know what I'm asking." Peeta nodded, and he looked up at her beseechingly. "I've got nothing to offer you except me. You've got no reason to stay, except that I'm begging you to. Stay anyway. I… I want you to stay. With me."

Johanna said nothing. It suddenly hit her that Peeta had never demanded any special favors for himself. As a Victor he could have had fame and glory, a willing Harem; piles of wealth... His status with the Rebellion meant he had leverage, and he'd used it all to protect surrendering enemy troops, and to rescue her and Finnick. It suddenly struck her that she'd never heard him say the words 'I want' to her before. Not for himself. Even before the Quarter Quell, he'd never asked anything of her just for himself. The things that did make him happy always came with other reasons, like feeding the hungry, or gathering support. After meeting his mother, Johanna knew it was because he didn't think that he deserved it. It was the first time she'd heard him ask anyone to give him something just because he wanted it.

And all he'd asked of her was…

His only move is to tear his heart out and give it away whole.

Johanna stared into him for a long, terrifying silence, before her eyes softened. "For you." She said quietly. "I won't appeal the ruling. I'll stay."

Peeta let out a breath like he'd been holding it for a hundred years. "Thank you."

Johanna pulled him up off the floor, put her arms around him and pressed her face into his neck softly as they embraced. "First time I've ever heard you beg, Peeta." She said emotionally.

"When the motivation is strong enough, anyone would." He admitted.

She pulled back and kissed his lips, fingers pulling at the buttons of her tunic. "Come here." She said softly. "Let's not talk about this any more." She pushed him back onto the bed, and chased him with kisses as he lay down. "I've healed enough."

He kissed her back fervently, worshipful. "I missed you. Missed us."

"So have I." She said honestly.

She held him again when they were finished. The PA announced dinner. When he started to say something about going to eat, she pounced again; quick and hungry this time, and she held him even closer afterwards. The third time happened automatically, slow and luxurious; and he finally slept. She napped; woke a few hours later. He was asleep, looking relaxed. Really relaxed, like the war wasn't even happening; and nightmares didn't exist. For the two of them; it was a miracle. For the first time since she'd met him, all was right with his universe.

You gave him that. She told herself, memorising the moment to take with her. For one night, there was nothing bad left in his head, or his heart.

A good moment to leave on.

Just after midnight, Johanna slipped out from under his arm, checked that he hadn't woken, and picked up her boots, catwalking to the hallway silently, easing the door shut behind her. "Sorry, Peeta." She whispered to the closed door. "You'll never forgive me. But I have to do this."

The push for the Capitol offensive meant there was lots of transportation going in and out. Finding a hovercraft wasn't hard. Finding one left unattended long enough to steal, and with enough fuel to get to the Capitol was much harder.

Johanna had already made some preparations, forging an entry in the database that said one such hovercraft, the smallest one that could still make the trip, was down for maintenance, and unsafe to fly. As far as she'd known, she'd gotten away with it.

There were still people about the hangar, even at this hour. Thirteen had shifts that ran around the clock. Johanna had made her way to the armory once she knew her ride was still there.

There were techs moving pallets from the Armory to the Hangar, she sidled up to one. "You look beat." She said casually. "Long shift?"

"No other kind anymore." He yawned. The yawn caught in his throat when he saw her face. "You're Johanna Mason!" He said as though she didn't know it. "What are you doing here at this time of night?"

"Ohh, I barely sleep anymore. I walk the halls to wear myself out." The kid looked younger than Peeta. Johanna put on her best 'vamp' face and nodded with him. "It's not right, how hard they make you guys work. It's almost 0100. You should at least get coffee."

"Coffee?" The kid laughed. "Way above my pay grade."

"Not mine." Johanna said impishly. "But the medics won't clear me for it. So my ration sits, unused."

"There ain't no justice." The kid commiserated.

"You can have it, if you want. I'll make the delivery." She held up her wristband. "Swap with me. It'll clear you for my rations, and yours will clear me to deliver this stuff. Swap back in an hour?"

The kid blanched, looked around automatically. "Uh, I don't think I'm allowed to-"

Johanna gave him the big 'soft' eyes. Like she was finally giving in and telling him the real truth. "Look. I wasn't cleared for Combat. I'll never get to help fight at the Capitol. The most I can hope to do now is help out around here." She reached out and touched his face gently; watching for the moment his brain short-circuited. "They took so much from me, and I can't do anything about it. The least I can do is pass the ammo; and give some of the night crew a decent cup of coffee, right?"

The kid fell for it, as had nobles and mayors before him. "Well… I wouldn't mind a break, but if anyone found out I left my post…"

"Our secret. I just need to feel useful one more time." Johanna said softly, putting just enough quaver into her voice.

She checked the pallet once she was in the elevator. Heavy explosives; munitions, and enough guns that she'd never even try to carry them all. Enough hardware to knock down a whole battalion.

Johanna grinned like a shark. She was really doing this.

There was enough activity for one person pushing a trolley out of the freight elevators to go unnoticed. The schedules were tight enough that nobody looked away from their work, too busy to observe. Johanna pushed her liberated weapons straight to the 'broken' hovercraft. Nobody would blink until it took off.

She was halfway across the bay when she saw him coming off the passenger elevator at a run.

Peeta.

Their eyes locked from across the hangar. He'd never be able to get to her in time. The controls for the Hangar Bay Doors were in the control room, and there was no way he'd get there in time either. They both knew it.

She broke their gaze and pushed her trolley harder, making a break for it. She had less than twenty feet to go, when she realized Peeta wasn't coming for her, or the control room.

He had run to the fire alarm.

She was almost to the hovercraft when the alarm went off, and sheets of water came rushing down on her from the sprinklers above.

Everyone in the hangar reacted in shock, suddenly drenched. All work halted instantly.

Johanna let out a shriek at the unexpected attack and dove into a combat roll automatically. The trolley full of weapons, her Hovercraft, everything was forgotten as she curled into a ball, wrapped protectively around herself. The water kept coming, and she curled tighter, sobbing in panic; trying vainly to keep it off her. "STOP IT!" She screamed at nothing. "STOP IT! STAHHHP!"

It could have been a few moments, it could have been a hundred years. She barely noticed that the sprinklers had been turned off. She felt hands on her, and went berserk, thrashing at ghosts that weren't there as they dragged her away.

Plutarch knocked on Cinna's door. Cinna opened it, peering out sleepily. "What's wrong?"

Plutarch took a breath. "Something's happened with Peeta and Johanna. I went to Effie's room, and she's not there."

"What makes you think I know where she is?" Cinna asked.

"You were pretty clearly her stylist for the wedding." Plutarch offered. "She was the only one to get your attention without being part of the wedding party."

"You can tell we're skilled operatives, hiding in plain sight, huh?" A voice lilted from somewhere in the room.

Cinna said nothing, but pushed the door open further. Effie was visibly embarrassed, madly trying to straighten her hair out a bit as she pushed past him. "Something happened?" She said urgently to Plutarch. "Are they okay?"

They didn't take her to the Medbay. She wasn't wounded, after all. Not in any way a surgeon could fix. Further downstairs, there was the mental ward. It was a place far less busy. Peeta knew there wasn't a lot of care and attention shown to such cases in Thirteen. It had taken a lot of work to keep Annie and Finnick out of one of these rooms.

Wiress was in the next padded room, watching out the viewing window in the door. She looked out at Peeta, sad for him.

Effie was at Peeta's side, looking trapped. She had no idea what to say. Plutarch and Cinna were there too; purely to show support. Effie looked around. "I expected to see Gale and Katniss…"

"They shipped out." Plutarch said quietly. "Cressida went with them to get some good footage. They… they should be arriving at the Capitol any minute now."

Peeta shut his eyes hard for a moment. Another layer of bad on the day.

Plutarch was trying to put a brave face on it. "President Coin is actually quite grateful to you. A stolen hovercraft full of weapons? Thirteen counts the peas from their greenhouses. They don't even have a black market. She wanted me to extend her thanks, and to…" He trailed off when he saw that Peeta wasn't listening. "I'm sorry it came to this."

Peeta said nothing, staring at nothing.

The door to Johanna's room opened, and the Doctor slipped out quietly. "Peeta, you're listed as her Next of Kin, so I can inform you, if…" He looked around the hallway at the others.

Plutarch nodded. "We'll let you talk." He and Cinna headed off. Cinna squeezed Peeta's shoulder and promised to be available if they needed anything. Beetee went to the next room and let himself in to visit with Wiress.

Effie planted her feet next to Peeta. "I can plug my ears and hum if you need me to, but I'm stayin' here."

The Doctor checked that it was okay with Peeta, and briefed him. "Physically, she's fine. But this has set her recovery back. From what she's been saying, this was her contingency plan, in case she wasn't cleared for Combat. It wasn't a spur of the moment idea."

"Gawd." Effie sighed.

"Peeta, I'm afraid I can't release her yet." The Doctor said seriously. "She was determined. Very determined. If someone had gotten in her way, she would have gone through them. Violently, if it came to that. To say nothing of what she planned to do when she got to the Captiol. She's a danger to herself and others; and I can't let her go. Not until the war ends. Maybe not even then, if she's that determined to hurt someone."

"We did it to each other." Peeta said quietly, almost unaware of anyone else. "She played me by whispering whatever words I wanted to hear in bed; and I used her private fear as a weapon against her in front of a huge audience. Our secret weapons. We finally did it to each other."

Loud Silence.

"She has asked to speak with Effie." The Doctor said carefully. "And she has refused any other visitors."

Effie inched her way into the room. "Johanna?"

Strapped down to her cot, Johanna didn't move. She was staring straight ahead, and her eyes shifted, a tiny bit, just to look at Effie. "I lied to him." She said quietly. "I didn't change my mind. He begged me to stay, and offered me promises of love and devotion and happily ever after; and I lied right to his face. I never had any intention of staying here."

"They'd have killed you." Effie whispered.

"I know." Johanna admitted. "I don't care. I wanted it. I would have died smiling, in a big pile of bodies that I put down. It would be a good death."

"I thought… I mean, I see you with Peeta. It looks real."

"It is." Johanna confirmed. "I told him that my feelings for him were the only thing left in my head beyond my hate. It was true. But I am 90% hate, and 10% love. I keep that 10% very well protected. Sanity is like anything else in Panem. It has to be rationed carefully, protected from everyone, and only taken out when totally secure. When they were done for the day, I would let myself look at that 10%, nurture it to myself; and then I'd be ready for another day of abuse. All that rage has been building, Effie. Since I was a little girl in my first Reaping; just building and building. If I don't go to the Capitol and let it burn; it just stays in me."

"Johanna-"

"I'm serious. I can feel it, burning me up inside right now." Her voice was shaking and tightly controlled, as though she was holding back a tidal wave. "It makes me hollow and empty, and sick to my stomach. If I can't let it out all over the people who deserve it..." Johanna's eyes flicked to the door. "It will all land on Peeta, cause there's nothing else left. And that last 10% will destroy everything it cares about. He's out there right now, isn't he?"

"Yes." Effie admitted. "He believes you will never forgive him for ruining your perfect plan-"

"I don't hate him." She said quietly. "I wish I could. I wish I could hate Peeta for this. I am nothing but rage and hate; and Peeta is, somehow, the only person I don't want to die. I want myself to die, but somehow, he's immune. He wants me to live; even if I hate him for it forever. I told him I don't blame a fish for swimming of a bird for flying. I can't even breathe without my rage anymoe; and somehow..." Johanna resumed staring straight ahead. "I knew he'd forgive me. He said it was our breaking point, and I never bought that. He's waiting out there, and if I let him in this room, he'll apologize." Her gaze flicked to Effie again without turning her head. "He'll apologize for pulling the sprinklers, and he won't even mention that I straight up lied to him. Because Peeta's used to that. For Peeta, that's what love is. If I let him in, then I'm as bad as his mom. Saving up my frustration and rage; taking it all out on him; and telling him it's love. And he'd be grateful." She still didn't move, but her eyes shifted back to Effie. "Get him away from me, Effie. Don't let him see me again."

Peeta was already trying to push past her and enter the room when Effie came out the door. She hooked her arm in his and pulled him away immediately. "Peeta." She said emotionally. "Come take a walk with me?"

She didn't tell him what Johanna had said; not until they were alone. She held his hand in hers until they reached the kitchens. "Everyone outta here for the next ten minutes." She barked at the kitchen staff. "Now."

And to Peeta's amazement, everyone jumped to obey. Once they were alone, he spoke. "The kitchen, huh? You picked a place I'd be comfortable before giving the bad news?"

"One thing Thirteen doesn't have is an art studio." Effie went to the freezers and pulled out a small wrapped parcel. She put it on the plate and brought it back to Peeta. It was a slice of the wedding cake. "I asked them to put mine aside for another day. Everyone else was eating or dancing, but I've had your cakes before. I wanted to save it for a rainy day. They always make me feel better."

Peeta stared at the cake, and then got a second fork. "We'll share." He said quietly.

Effie sat and they took little slices as the cake thawed between them.

"She doesn't want to see me." Peeta said seriously.

"She's… not ready to be forgiven yet." Effie conceded.

"Who says I want to forgive her?" Peeta questioned archly.

Effie just gave him a look.

Peeta sighed. "Fine."

"We knew it would take time when we got her back. We knew her body would heal faster than her heart."

Peeta nodded. "We did. And I promised I'd be as patient as she needed, but..." He sniffed. He looked like he was going to cry. "I'm so sick of it, Effie." He sounded shattered. "I'm always the last resort. My mom didn't want me, neither did Katniss, and Johanna… She'd rather kill herself in a warzone than just live and be loved by me." He wiped his eyes. "And I know it's not that simple, and I know there's a lot of history and complications, and I know I can't expect rationality from someone who recently went through a damn torture chamber!" Peeta seemed so exhausted. "But some days it just feels like everyone I love would rather die than be around me." He looked at her helplessly. "What did I do wrong?"

Johanna said Peeta's only move was to tear his heart out and offer it whole. Effie thought wretchedly. But how much of it is left after he does that a dozen times?

Effie held him tightly. "Listen to me, kid." She said seriously. "You were the one who taught me how to see a war going on right in front of me. And now I see it everywhere. I see a mother so afraid of the Reaping that she would turn away from her own kids. I see a girl who had lost her whole reason for living at the Capitol's hands before she was seventeen; and picked herself up to fight back against her sister's killers. I saw a young woman who made it through a torture chamber because of her love for you; and then pushed you away because she's afraid of what her war will inflict on your heart…" Effie had tears in her eyes. "And I see you. The Capitol has been taking love and home and family away from you since you were old enough to know what those words mean, and you don't want revenge." She pulled back enough to look him in the eye. "The only thing you did wrong, was insist on being gentle in a world that craves violence at every chance."

Peeta said nothing, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"It's war, Peeta. It's war, and it's just awful on every level." Effie said. "I can't think of anything happy to say about it, except that if we don't win, there's nothing but more bad. And if we do win, maybe there's a chance to make something good for yourself."

Peeta said nothing.

Effie slid the plate over. "Cake always makes things better on bad days. And you know how to make a cake from scratch. A perfect metaphor for you if there ever was one."

Peeta looked up at her sadly, before he took the plate and had another bite.

Effie sat beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders warmly until the cake was gone. "You're all I've got too, y'know."

"What about Cinna?"

Effie flushed. "You know about that."

"You and Cinna have the same quality. Out of the Capitol, trying to find a place for yourself in Thirteen."

"A place that doesn't need a spy, an Escort, or a Stylist." Effie admitted. "Cinna and I are the Anti-Coin."

Peeta laid his head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry to be so… self-pitying."

"You're nineteen. If this is the most teenage problem you have in all this? Consider yourself a saint." Effie said kindly. "I was sleepwalking for so much of my life, and you woke me up. I see the war everywhere now, and for all the things you've lost, and for all the things you've had to do; I honestly think you can walk through this and come out the other side of it so wonderfully, beautifully, unsullied by the worst of it." She sniffed back her own tears. "But if you ever feel like you're not loved? Come find me. Because I love you, kid."

"Love you too, Effie."

AN: I just couldn't see a way to get here without some form of collision between Jo and Peeta. Because she's eating and breathing her vengeance, and Peeta isn't at all vengeful. This was not something they could just 'agree to disagree' on.