AN: It's been quite a while since I last added anything to this, and I've been busy. I gave birth to the light of my life on March 8th and she has been taking up all of my time. While my husband's watching her, I figured I could update this thing.
Shadow's got issues, but we all knew that.
"Out in the Open"
He laid on his back in silence.
"Sorry... I..."
Am so screwed up. His internal shame scorched his face. There was no need for Sonic to ever know the truth about him.
"It's okay. Hey."
His hands were on his cheeks. He was surprised he didn't move away—his skin had never felt this hot before. Was he finally breaking down? Would he... in front of Sonic?
"Shadow."
Sonic's nose was against his. He closed his eyes and struggled to cool himself down before he did something he'd regret.
"... some kinda dream..."
He would burn to ashes at this rate.
"Yeah, it must've been."
Still, he wouldn't leave Sonic with the burden of his biggest secret.
"Anything you wanna talk about?"
No, he didn't want to talk. It was ancient history—if it had ever actually happened in the first place.
"I'm tired now."
Too late. He was lying. Sonic could probably feel him shivering.
"You cold?"
How could he be cold when his face was on fire?
"Yeah, a little. I'll be fine."
"I wish you'd let me hold you."
Sonic sounded more wistful than he'd expected him to, his voice marked by the same sorrow that Shadow had held within himself for too long. It was almost enough to push him forward.
He fell back.
"I'm fine, Sonic."
"You sure?"
There was no way that Sonic believed him.
"Yes. It was just a stupid dream. I'll live."
Because I have no other choice; but you don't know that, do you?
"'Kay. You know best."
No, he didn't. He had been fighting against his own self-interest for as long as he'd known Sonic, perhaps even longer than that. He knew nothing about how to benefit himself or anyone else. Truth be told, he probably never had.
But he couldn't tell Sonic any of that, because he couldn't trust him enough to keep his entire heart safe. Eventually, Sonic would die, and he'd be left with nothing more than a memory.
Why have I been so selfish?
He'd be kicking himself over that question for years to come, because he didn't have an answer and he didn't want one. All he knew was that he was comfortable in this situation.
Without his knowledge, he'd proved it. Sonic was lying close to him, his face less than an inch from his shoulder. His hand was practically on his thigh. If he rolled back, he'd collide with him. Maybe Sonic had wanted it that way.
He had been feeling Sonic's warm breath on his back for at least five minutes and had done nothing to distance himself.
On top of that, his face had cooled.
Maybe he would be able to give away another part of himself to Sonic in time. Maybe, if he grew comfortable enough with him, he'd one day be able to look him in the eye and tell him everything about what he was feeling inside.
The thought made his cheeks flush again. As if...
Though he couldn't speak his mind yet, he let his body take the first step.
Touching Sonic brought a deeper color to his face.