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It was December, and six weeks had passed since the attack at Godrics Hollow. For James, it had been the longest six weeks on his life. Once he had been released from St Mungos James had moved back to Potter Manor with Harry, Sirius and Remus. It was where he had grown up and had inherited the house from his parents after their deaths. However, he barely spent any time there. Lily was still in hospital in some sort of magical coma and James spent every waking moment at her bedside, holding her hand and praying for a miracle. The healers were at a loss as to what curse she had been struck with and whilst they had managed to stabilise her condition, they could not find a reason as to why she would not gain consciousness.
James felt helpless. Sometimes Sirius or Remus would come with him and tell Lily stories about the marauders and Harry, but in his heart James believed that Lily could not hear him. He had even brought Harry along a few times, in the hope that Lily would be able to sense the presence of their son, and would somehow awaken, knowing that she was needed. However, these visits only served to upset Harry, who did not understand why his mummy spent all her time sleeping instead of playing with him.
When he arrived home each night, James would pour over the books in the library, hoping to come across any scrap of information that could help Lily.
It was on a snowy evening, just days before Christmas when Sirius found James in the library.
"Come on Prongs, don't do this to yourself. You look like crap." Sirius said, closing the book that James had been reading. "Lily would not want this. You're going to make yourself ill, and then who would look after Harry?"
James looked up at his friend, dark circles framing his bloodshot eyes. "I can't sleep Sirius" he muttered. "Every time I close my eyes I have nightmares about what happened. How he tried to kill Lily and… and Harry" he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. "I couldn't protect her when she needed me and she just has to get better. She has to!" he gasped, as finally the tears fell. After weeks of silent prayers and trying to be strong, James broke down.
Sirius knew this had been coming. James was his brother and he knew him better than he knew himself.
"I know you feel guilty Prongs, so do I. I should never have suggested swapping to Peter, I would have taken your secret to the grave, you have to believe me."
James raised his head and looked at his best friend. "It's not your fault Sirius. I don't blame you."
"And Lily wouldn't blame either of you" a voice came from the doorway. Remus Lupin stood there, a sleeping Harry drooling on his shoulder.
"None of us are to blame. Blame Peter, blame Voldemort. But you can't blame yourselves. You have a little boy who needs his Dad and his godfather" Remus said. "The healers are doing everything they can for Lily but she would want us to be there for Harry. He's the most important thing now James."
James looked at his son. He had to admit that he hadn't been there as much for him as he would have liked. His every waking moment had been consumed with helping Lily, spending time with Lily. If his wife were here know she would be screaming at him for neglecting their son. He felt shame rise up in his chest as he thought about it.
James rose from his seat and gently took Harry from Remus, his small head coming to lean against his cheek, and James felt overwhelmed at how close he had come to losing his precious son.
"I've not done a very good job of being a father lately" he said. "You've both done more than enough looking after Harry. And me" he added as an afterthought.
"You need to start living again James, for Harry's sake."
"I won't give up on her" James said, the anguish in his voice clear. "As long as it takes."
Sirius placed a hand on James' shoulder. "Damn right you're not giving up on her. Lily is the strongest witch I know. If anyone can pull through this, she can."
A couple of days later James took Harry to the hospital. Normally he'd leave Harry with Sirius or Remus, but Sirius had been called away to an urgent death eater sighting and it had been a full moon last night, and Remus had been passed out on the sofa when James had been leaving. Knowing that the sight of Lily would most likely upset his son, he followed the signs towards the crèche section of St. Mungos. He hated leaving Harry with strangers, especially with his newfound status. The Boy-who-Lived they were calling him. Just yesterday James had taken Harry with him to Diagon Alley to stock up on potion supplies and he had been practically chased through the street by reporters longing to get a photo of the child who defeated Voldemort. Thankfully James made a hasty retreat through the floo before anyone succeeded.
James placed Harry down in the play area, there were just three other children there and an elderly looking witch with white hair and a pimpled nose who was watching over them from a rocking chair.
"Now Harry, Daddy's just going to see if Mummy's alright. I'll be back very soon ok?" he murmured, ruffling his son's hair.
" 'k dada".
"Shall I watch him for you?" James spun round to see a plump red haired woman looking at him. In her arms was a tiny baby. "I've just come to collect my boys and head home but it looks like they're having fun." She glanced behind James to where the three red haired children were playing with a bunch of building blocks.
"If that's no problem, I'd take him with me but I think he'd prefer to stay here" James said quietly.
"It's no trouble at all, I have 7 children of my own, so I'm sure I can handle one more" she chuckled.
"7? Would you happen to be a Mrs Molly Weasley nee Prewitt?" James asked.
The lady nodded and smiled.
"That would be me? How did you know?"
James shifted awkwardly. "I, uh, I knew your brothers, Gideon and Fabian. Fine fighters they were."
The smile dropped off her face. "Yes, they were some of the best. It's such a shame…"
James nodded "I was there that night you know. Me and Sirius Black. We tried to help them but it just happened so quickly" he murmured apologetically. In his head he could see the fire and the smoke. He could hear the loud explosion, which signified the end not only of the Prewitt brothers, but also of the 12 death eaters they'd managed to take down with them.
He heard a quiet sob and looked up. "I'm so sorry, I…"
Molly shook her head. "No, don't be, I just miss them you know. The kids loved them. What's your little one called?"
"Harry, and I'm James, James Potter".
He watched as her eyes grew wide and grimaced slightly. "Yeah, that's the common reaction."
Immediately, Molly grew flustered and blushed a dark red. "I'm so sorry Mr Potter, that was extremely rude of me."
"Don't worry about it. I'm getting used to it. It's Harry that I'm worried about. All that fame for something he won't remember." A frown creased on James' forehead. All the worry that he'd been feeling came back and he slumped down in a chair.
"Mrs. Weasley, can I ask you something?"
"Call me Molly, and certainly you can".
"What if I'm a rubbish Dad?I know little about being a parent. I've only just realised how much effort it takes to be a good parent. Lily and I were doing alright, muddling through together, but now… I didn't realise how much she did. I can't cook, I've just started learning the household charms but I can't do them very well, I can't sing to Harry when he goes to bed like Lily did. What if I mess him up? Lily would never forgive me." He said all this is rush and looked up through anxious eyes.
Molly shifted the baby in her arms and turned to face him. "You may not be perfect James, Godric knows Arthur and I have had our share of problems with our kids, but you just have to be the best you can be. Harry will love you whether you sing him to sleep or not. And as for the cooking and the charms, I have been told that I possess skills in those areas. You and Harry are most welcome to come over to the Burrow at any time and I'll teach you to cook and Harry can play with children his own age." She looked up, "I mean, only if you want to."
James thought about it for a moment, before nodding. "That would be really great Molly. It would be nice for Harry to spend time with other children." He looked over at Harry who had toddled over, a blue building block in his hand, he raised his chubby arms in the air towards James.
"Up" he demanded. James chuckled and picked his son up and set him on his lap.
"Harry, Mrs Weasley here is going to watch you for a few minutes while I go see Mummy, ok?"
Harry looked at the lady and then down at the bundle in her arms.
"Baby!" he cooed, leaning towards it, pulling the blanket away from her face, revealing a shock of bright red hair.
Both adults laughed as Harry held the block out to her.
"Baby play?" Mrs Weasley smiled at him. "This is Ginny, she's a bit too young to play at the moment and she's feeling a bit poorly." She looked at James "She's just had her dragon pox vaccinations" she explained.
"Red!" Harry squealed, pointing at the baby's hair. James smiled, he hadn't seen Harry so happy since the attack. A friendship with the Weasleys could be just what they both needed.
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